Strictly an experiment. I've always wanted to try and do some major angst here. I know that's strange, but I find that I do my best writings on the two points of the spectrum: crack comedy and serious angst. Admitingly, however, I love to write angst. Oh well, this kinds has a more resolved feel to it than the last one I did and maybe that's why I like it so much. I always wanted to try something with Kagura.
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own anythin'. I own OCs of the glorious anime, but that don't matter with this (except for the mentioning of Kagura's family). They belong to Kiyohiko Azuma and ADV Films.
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She had always wanted to be stronger.
Not that she wasn't strong already, but they always said that there was room for improvement. It proved addicting to her; to show that you had something that no one would ever have. Like your own special quality; something no one would copy. Honestly, she wasn't going to deny that she had an ego, but she knew when to let go of pride. Nevertheless, she lived for taking the steps to prove herself, just like they told her.
But they never told her she could go backwards.
No, they never did, and when she finally took that step back, she almost tripped, almost had to start from scratch. After all, family was one of the most important things to her, but before, she never really understood the true intentions of the meaning.
It wasn't until he slipped the knife did she truly understand the bond between siblings. They were only a few years apart, about two, but they acted just as any other brother and sister would do. They'd bicker about so many things that she was sure that her parents wouldn't even consider in their lives.
It didn't help to know that the water was their calling—or maybe it did. Even to this day it stung her tongue to say it, but he was a prodigy in swimming. He was a natural in the cool liquid, each stroke performed with its own grace like a paint strokes on a blank canvas. It made her strife to get to the top, earn it through hard work instead of the abilities he was born with. It was almost like he had been born with the blood of a fish.
He took her heart and ripped it to small shreds with that knife. His life slipped from her fingers that were meant to protect the younger—but all she could do was watched, stupefied by the mere thought of death. It was only an abstract concept then, something that she thought neither had fully grasped yet.
That was when her foot slipped.
Her parents changed then, mere shadows passing along the empty hallways of her homes, consumed with the purposes they made for themselves in their lives. She lost her sense of the value in family then as she dropped whatever pieces of parents she had left. The blame was on her, but something told her that, in the end, she would only be stuck in the same shell anyway. Guilt was a near impossibility to kill, a ravenous thing wanting nothing more to gnaw away at anything that remained in the heart as it dropped to the creature's bowls.
But she caught her heart in the end, though she didn't know what to do with it.
Trust was a difficult rope to make with it's lose strands and at least one thing to break the bond with. She knew someone was bound to reach out at some point, but for the time being, she would keep his legacy going—for the time being.
Keeping the name 'Kagura' would always remind her. Not anything else. Something short, her family name to resemble what she had left. The water had always called on her the same way it did him and she kept her pride, because it wasn't long before someone reached out.
It was the coach first. Which was natural when you thought about it. She kept watch of her and the others with stern, but caring eyes. It would seem motherly if it wasn't for the other teacher not looming far behind her, ready to bring the child out of 'Nyamo.'
She would only be an acquaintance until the next year. It was low-key for the most part, people paying respects to her. Sure, they would talk, but, as she learned, trust was difficult to define and she kept that to herself. Pride was what she needed then and she kept her feet at the step.
The second semester brought an interesting fascination, however, and she almost teetered off the stairway itself. It was only a chance meeting (or just the fact that two classes were gambling) that she witnessed the skill of the other classes' top athlete. Lipid movements that were almost feline, it didn't take much for her to be bested by the stranger. (1) Grace held her out and, in the end, it was the victory that kept her on her feet.
Even before really meeting her did she loosen the threads a little.
It wasn't until the next year had she finally talked to the girl, Sakaki, but it took her back that she hadn't even recalled much of anything between the two. She hadn't realized that she had found family by looking for her.
She stumbled into their lives and they happily let her loosen the threads and kept her heart steady. She had a debt to pay to the athlete, but maybe it would be better to hang back a little. Something about her was the natural grace of the paint strokes on the empty canvas. Maybe there was something more to her brother. Maybe there was something more to Sakaki.
"…Kagura…?"
Kagura had to stifle the urge to jump as her name rang back to her ears. She had some getting use to on her walks home, but she had time and a familiar sense of family. She split into a small grin as she looked over to the silent classmate, waving off her worry for a moment.
She had pride to fall back on, but she could live a little every once and a while.
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Eh, don't hurt me. Well, no real pairings here how I see it. Just kinda—normal? Is that what I'm looking for? 0-o I think this is the weirdest angst I've ever done, but I had to try and keep Kagura in character. Let me know if I fail or pass here.
(1): I've never seen anyone describe her as it, but Sakaki has a lot of feline habits. Maybe like a house cat.