Stephanie Meyer owns all. I want you all to know that I did not write this story, this was written and belongs to Majorfaith a very talented author, all credit goes to her, I am just uploading this for her. Please read and show her your support. Only three chapters will be uploaded here the rest will be posted on h**p: / Jacob bella (dot) spruz (dot) com
A Bay Window View
Bella'sPOV
It had been eight years since I left my hometown in Fork's Washington. I had not been back to La Push in eight years either. La Push was my home away from home. It was there that I left most of my heart – with someone that I couldn't bear to live or not live without. I figured this out later. Driving back to my dad's house in Forks, I could barely see through the tears filling my eyes and threatening to spill over at any moment.
I turned onto Forks highway hoping with all of my heart that my dad and my Jacob could forgive me and allow me to make things right again. I knew that I couldn't do this alone. I said a silent prayer, "Please God, Don't let it be too late. Please, let them give me have the opportunity to make things right." I didn't even know what they had been doing for the past eight years of their lives. 'Did Jake go to college? Was he still phasing? Has he found someone who loves him the way that I should have?' I cringed at the last question on my mind but I knew in my heart that I had to hear the answer. I began to think of Charlie, 'Is he still police chief? Did he have a woman in his life?' Just as I was pondering over my thoughts, I saw it… our two story white Farm House with lap siding.
I slowed my car down to a crawl and looked up at the big window leading to my bedroom. I remembered the two men in my life that had entered through that very window so many times before. The vampire that would sneak in to watch me sleep and My Jacob, My Best friend and beautiful russet colored wolf who would come, simply because he was being drawn there. He had always said that he could hear my heartbeats calling out to him from miles away. I wondered if he could hear my heart beating now. I shook my head knowing that I was being completely ridiculous. 'Too much and too many years have gone by. Our connection had been broken down a long time ago.' I thought.
The house looked almost as it had before I left, except there were beautiful flowers planted all around the front of the house. 'Could it be that our home had a 'Women's Touch' now or did Charlie spend his extra time now… gardening?' I wondered. I pulled into the driveway and noticed there weren't any cars in the drive and by the hour, I could only guess that Charlie was out of town. 'This will work out well. It will give me time to see Jake before Charlie comes back.' I knew I needed to figure some things out. I knew that there was a good chance I was setting myself up for more heart break and that there would be a distinct possibility I might need some time to deal with my feelings before I saw Charlie. I knew that it would be hard, but I was ready to face the men in my life and make things right.
In that moment I looked at our open shed and there it was, my truck. I absolutely loved that truck. In eight years time, I had owned six different sports cars. Edward insisted that we keep up appearances at all times. We were pretending to have the perfect marriage and the perfect life; that was a very small part of the deception that was going on. I wouldn't have traded my old truck for any one of those cars; they were merely symbols of the horrid life I was trapped in. It was a hopeless existence.
The memories of Jake started pouring through my mind. I got out of my car and went over to my old trusty truck, I opened the door and realized that not only did it look just the way I had left it; someone had polished it inside and out. Someone had been taking care of my truck. 'Why? Was someone keeping it up in hopes that I would return, or was Charlie getting the truck ready to sell?' I pondered over these thoughts as I got in my truck. Sitting behind the steering wheel I felt a hot tear begin to make its way down my cheek, betraying me once again as my mind began to whirl around the memories of all that had happened in my life before I left Forks.
When I left Washington I had chosen Edward and eternity. He was beautiful, strong, powerful, and wise beyond years. I chose Edward Cullen over my best friend, my soul mate, my sunshine, my protective russet colored wolf. Jacob was beautiful in a very masculine sort of way, he would make any girl fall to her knees, just to have him look her way. My Jacob had dark hair, russet colored skin, an eight pack that was pure perfection, strong shoulders, perfect white teeth and a smile that would knock your socks right off your feet. He was the picture of male perfection but what made him even more desirable was the fact that Jacob seemed oblivious to his perfection and his effect on the opposite sex. I finally realized that I was in love with Jake but by the time that I did, it was too late and it wasn't enough. Edward was back in my life again and I wanted nothing more than to be with him forever.
I realized that making that decision meant leaving my dad, my mom and my Jacob, never to see any of them again. I wanted Edward so desperately that it all seemed worth it to me. To this day I can't explain what in the hell I had been thinking. I would like to say that Edward had me under some kind of spell, but the guilt in my soul won't allow me to give myself that kind of out. No, I had to take responsibility for my actions.
Edward had promised to love and protect me. That was one of the many lies told to me by Edward Cullen. I made an agreement with Edward when I was eighteen years old, which turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life. Even today, I cringe anytime I think about it. I agreed to marry Edward and move to Alaska with him. In return, he would change me and give me the life I longed for. I wanted to be a beautiful Cullen and spend eternity with Edward.
Regardless of how I felt about Edward, I loved my Jake and I couldn't stay away from him. I spent a lot of my time in La Push with Jake. I knew that Jake loved me more deeply than I loved him, but still I was drawn to him and I needed him desperately. I needed him in a completely different way than I needed Edward. When I spent time with Jacob I felt complete. He was my other half, my soul mate. I felt at home with Jake. When I was with Edward it was more like I was living in a fairytale. If I could go back in time I would defiantly choose feeling at home over the fairytale-any day of the week.
When I was in Edward's presence, I was confident in my decisions. When Edward was around I never once questioned the choice that I had made. On the days that I spent time with Jake I second guessed my decisions a lot. I knew with Jacob my life would be as easy as breathing. I knew that I wouldn't have to change my life for him; he already fit into it perfectly. I could have children with Jacob and grow old with him. However, at the end of the day I would sadly have to leave La push and head back to my house. I could always count on Edward waiting for me in my room. Looking back it was almost as though he were guarding me. Soon after I returned each time it took only five minutes alone with Edward before I'd be right back where I started; completely in love with Edward and completely confident that I was making the right choices for my life. Each time that I left La Push, I could see the fear and dread in Jake's eyes. He must have known that he'd been making some headway with me. However, he also knew that as soon as I returned back to Edward, all that he had accomplished would be gone. Jake loved me though and every time I left, he gave me his signature smile and breathtakingly wonderful hug.
I didn't appreciate it or even realize that Jacob always had eyes for me and me alone. I had been so blind for so many years. Jake and I met when he was six and I was seven and even then we completed each other. Jacob loved being with me and I loved being with him. Neither of us had ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend because we never wanted to be apart, we were inseparable; that is until Edward came into my life. It must have been killing Jacob. I was so selfish. I know that if it would have been the other way around and Jacob had found someone else, I would have gone crazy with jealousy. I don't think that I could have handled my Jake being in another woman's arms. Still, I wanted to be with Jacob but I needed to be with Edward. I wanted it all.
I got out of my truck and headed toward the house, stopping to get the few things that I grabbed before I made my quick departure. I basically had the dress I was wearing, five pairs of panties, my purse and my cell phone. Esme made all of my travel arrangements and arranged the rental cars that I would need to have. I basically followed her exact instructions on what to do to make it back to Forks. I was in no state of mind to be making my own travel plans. She promised to pack up my things and mail them to me; they were scheduled to arrive the next morning. Carlisle promised to have my car shipped to me and when I replied hastily, "No, I don't want to have any reminders of Edward!" He looked hurt. He simply said, "OK Bella, I will make sure that you have another vehicle by the end of the week. It will be shipped to Charlie's." I remember giving him a weak smile and hugging them both. I managed to thank them and tell them that I loved them. I knew how deeply they were hurt by the recent realizations that had presented themselves. I had known about it all for years, they were only just learning of the horrible, unforgivable things that were going on under their very roof. They were in a state of shock, but they were holding it together for me and I greatly appreciated it.
I walked up the steps and onto the porch, smiling as I noticed the familiar creak under my feet. I reached the front door and realized that in my haste to leave, I forgot my key in my dresser drawer. I reached under the farthest rock that Jacob and I had found on La Push beach; there it was…the spare key. I guessed that Charlie either forgot that it was there or he didn't feel the need to change the hide-a-key spot. Something told me that he left it there hoping for my return and knowing that I would have probably lost my key.
I made my way upstairs. When I opened up my bedroom door, I found that everything was exactly as I had left it. My walls were still green, my bed was still adorned with purple sheets and the fluffy blankets sent to me by Renee were all folded and placed in my rocking chair. I noticed that all of the pictures that I had left behind of Edward and I had disappeared. I didn't know who had removed them, but I was very grateful that they had. I continued looking around the room and I noticed that there were numerous framed photos of Jake and me. I noticed that my favorite photograph of us was located on my nightstand. In the photograph I was looking at the person with the camera, while Jake was looking at me. The look on his face was full of love and adoration for me. 'How could I have been so blind?' I thought. Looking at the photograph I was amazed that I hadn't noticed how much he seemed to shine in my presence. The picture had been taken after he had changed into a wolf. It seemed that when we were together he was able to relax from the stress that the changes in his life had put on him. In those moments he seemed to have found solace in me, setting aside the thoughts of danger and responsibility that were forced on him at such an early age in his life. If Edward would have allowed me to move in the direction that I was naturally headed toward, my life would have been entirely altered. Instead, he familiarized me with and seduced me into a life of eternity; a life that I found to be full of blood thirst and lies.
I decided to lie down and try to get some much needed rest. I pulled my fluffy blankets sent to me be Renee over my head and fell into a dream world filled with warmth, love and My Jacob. There was a beautiful little girl with long black hair and green eyes, and a handsome little boy with thick black curls, russet skin and chocolate brown eyes who were also stars of my dream; me being their mother and Jake being their father. I hoped desperately that I would never wake up from that dream.