Seeing Infinity
Dislaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Lily watched him out of the corner of her eyes as she always did. He was laughing at a joke Sirius had told him. He threw his head back, his black hair falling into his hazel eyes, when he straightened up she felt her stomach swoop as it always did.
He had the kind of laugh that made others laugh. It wasn't the kind of loud, attention-bringing laugh that Sirius had. It was a far cry from the softer laugh of Remus, who generally pursed his lips as though he was disapproving, though a smile always tugged at the corners of his lips at his friends' antics. It wasn't the Peter, who laughed until he looked like he might be crying.
He had the musical laugh that sounded like pure happiness. In the simplest terms, it was beautiful.
She spooned herself scrambled eggs on buttered toast, swirling the dregs of of her pumpkin juice around her goblet as she thought. She was barely listening to her friends as they speculated the outcome of the day's Quiddicth match.
Down the table, James was dressed in his Quidditch robes already, fastening his dark brown gloves tightly. He looked handsome in the striking scarlet and gold robes.
The red reminded her of the time he had offered her a beautiful, delicate rose in that exact shade of red.
That gold, it reminded her of a brown picture frame that sat up on her dresser in the girls' dormitory. She had asked him to take a photo of her one day, he had presented it to her for Christmas in a dark brown picture frame with intricate gold that spelled out her name beautifully along the bottom of the frame.
The picture, he had told her, was one of his favorites. She had protested against the picture that particular day, but he had pulled the camera away with a grin and told her to smile. She had cursed the wind silently as she did what he told her, he had managed to make her laugh and took a photo of her laughing as she brushed her vibrant hair out of her eyes.
He had told her quite simply that she was beautiful. She had merely rolled her eyes and told him to shut up, ignoring the blush that stole across her pale cheeks, and her voice was not as bitter as usual.
"Lily," her name snapped her out of her memory, her friend nudged her. "Come on, if we want decent seats we should leave now."
Lily nodded, taking a last bite of toast and draining the rest of her goblet and following her friends out. As she pulled on her navy blue, light cloak she saw him get up.
Quickly, she scooped up her things and hastened to catch up with him. Her friends dropped behind her, but she managed to catch him as they left the hall. His friends (and admirers, she noticed irritably) were surrounding him as he was leaving with his broomstick.
"Good luck today," she said, now pausing to wait for her friends. He glanced behind him, searching for the source of the voice and freezing momentarily. He nearly did a double-take when he spotted her.
"Lily." He sounded rather startled, looking her up and down in apparent shock.
His voice reminded her of the first time he had 'officially introduced himself' as he called it. It had been second year, he'd been a scrawny 12 year old, with a high, slightly squeaky voice, and she'd admittedly already known him but allowed him the introduction all the same.
He narrowed those brown eyes at her, scrutinizing her carefully before asking her name. She'd told him, and he'd taken her hand, shook it and said, "James. James Potter," in that boyish tone of his.
When he turned fourteen, or maybe it was fifteen, his voice cracked and then changed to the deeper, smoother tones of a young man. His voice, her name on his lips could make her shiver.
Those deep hazel eyes locked on hers for a moment. She smiled faintly at him, then turned to greet her friend with a smile. The first time she'd seen those eyes for real, she'd been in Hogsmeade and fell down. It had been Sixth Year, and her friend was in that annoying, sickeningly sweet stage of her own relationship so Lily had been avoiding her at the time.
Like a gentleman, he had helped her up, brushing snow out of her hair and tilting her head up to check for any damage. He had been close, so close that she could see the snowflakes in his hair, the ones that were already melting on his reddening cheeks and splattered across his shoulders.
He had merely blinked. There were snowflakes that clung to his lashes, those stunning hazel eyes, a deep brown flecked with gold, that was the first time she'd fallen for those beautiful eyes.
Now he turned away, nodding as he talked to Remus, Sirius was on his left deep in conversation with a girl about the match. She seemed to be reassuring him, then when they reached the Quidditch field, stood up on her toes to kiss his cheek and fled to the stands.
It was a beautiful day, the sky was the usual blue, with fluffy white clouds and the sun peeked around the clouds now and again. It was rather windy, and she pulled her cloak tighter about her as she took her own seat on a bench.
When the match began, she let her thoughts wander to the clouds and she smiled when a certain messy-haired boy flew past the stands. The opposing team was dressed in deep blue and elegant silver robes, they flew just as gracefully across the field in pursuit of red and gold players.
The match finished with Gryffindor winning, barely scraping enough points to beat Ravenclaw. They hoisted their Seeker onto their shoulders and carried him across the field, Sirius shouting about the after-party that would occur.
The stunning trophy was handed to the Seeker, who yelled triumphantly and held it up for the crowd to see. Lily scampered to join the swelling crowd that followed the players.
Alice and Lily had both chosen dresses for the party, there would be dancing after all, Alice reminded her. Alice's dress was a modest, royal blue, with a skirt that fell past her knees and whose halter-neck was littered with white faux-jewels that shone.
Lily's own dress was a teal dress that was black on the upper half with sequins, then changed to a lovely teal color and it only fell to her knees. She pulled her hair up into a ponytail, applied a thin layer of mascara and lipgloss before helping her friend out.
During the party, she sipped butterbeer and chatted with her friend, but mostly found herself watching a certain boy and his friends.
She joined in a few dances, but more often than not found herself to be intruding on Alice's relationship. Frank was nice of course, he never complained that she was stealing away his girlfriend during the dance, or that she talked too much, occupied Alice's time more than he would have liked.
He was looking at Lily curiously. Suddenly, he turned toward where he was, trying to encourage Remus to dance. "Remus, I think Lily would like to dance with you."
Lily took him up on the answer quickly, nodding and avoiding looking at James. She took Remus's hands, James handed his friend over while gazing at her, and pulled him into the midst of the dancers.
When the song was over, she refused to let him return to a corner with Peter (who she suspected was sulking), and instead pulled him into the music.
"No, Lily I really should get back to-"
"Peter will be fine," Lily replied swiftly. "Look, he's got himself a date, too," she added, as he was pulled onto the floor by James, who instantly pulled him up a girl to dance with.
"Lily, I think James wants to talk to you," Remus said, she could barely hear him over the music.
"I'll talk to him later," she said, spinning in a circle.
It was later, much later, when she finally saw James again. They were trying to get the last few party-goers to go to sleep. It was past three in the morning, Lily's hair had come undone and she hadn't found her hair tie to put it back up, and James looked disheveled. He pulled Sirius off the couch and with Remus's help, they half dragged and half carried their best mate up the stairs to the dorm. Lily plucked a garbage bag from a box of cleaning supplies and went to work.
She was collecting empty butterbeer bottles and wrappers when James returned. "Sorry about that," he said, before scooping up some bottles and dumping them into the bag.
"James-"
"Lily-"
They both laughed nervously. "You first," she offered.
He shifted uncomfortably, then seemed to think of something else. "I was just going to ask if you wanted to grab that rag for me," he nodded to the cleaning bucket.
She tossed it to him, and he scrubbed at a mess on the table. She studied him for a moment, then knelt to pick up a flask.
The first note sounded, and the turned around to see him standing in front of the phonograph. He had placed the needle on a record, turning to look at her. "Dance with me?"
She shook her head quickly. "I have to clean up this mess," she picked up the cloth and began to wipe up half-dried butterbeer on a desk.
"Lily," his voice was soft, and he caught her arms gently, pulling the cloth away and setting it on the table. "Don't you think you owe me one dance?"
She lifted her eyes to look at him and swallowed. "Owe you?" she asked, startled by his use of the word.
"I had to watch you dance with Remus all night, you owe me at least one dance," he answered.
"My feet hurt too much," she replied evasively, it was true. Her feet hurt from the heels she'd been wearing all night. Admittedly they didn't hurt that much, and she could have simply stepped out of them...
He titled his head to look at her feet. In one swift movement he lifted her up onto the table, and he pulled both heels off of her feet, placing them neatly on the floor.
"Come on Lily, please?" his eyes searched hers anxiously.
He took her hand and stepped away, then another step until only his fingertips brushed hers. She slid off the table and followed him. The dance was slow, she rested her hands on his black jacket, feeling his heartbeat below her fingers until he slid her hands up, until they rested on his shoulders.
His own hands rested at her waist, and he pulled her close until she could breathe in his scent. He smelled of cinnamon, a distinctly sweet herb, and something sharp and spicy, a mix that was purely him.
She rested her head on his chest, closed her eyes, and they danced. She let him turn her, spin her around until the record ended. The scratching sound that indicated the end of the music snapped her out of her daze.
She stepped away, but his hands stopped her.
"Lily," his voice was low, and she didn't dare to open her eyes. "Tell me I'm wrong, that you don't feel anything for me at all. Tell me you just see me as a friend...tell me this is wrong."
His lips brushed her forehead and he placed a kiss there. Her eyes flickered open, but she didn't stop him.
Next, he placed a kiss on each cheek, his eyes meeting hers with every kiss. "Say something," his request was soft, gentle.
He kissed her chin, then brought his head up again to kiss her nose, and then his nose brushed hers as he lowered his head again, and she closed her eyes again.
"Please, Lily," he whispered, his lips so close to hers she could feel his words.
"I fancy you," she answered, and then she kissed him. She kissed him in that gentle, urgent way that took away his breath, and left him utterly breathless.
He opened his eyes, and found himself looking into her own green ones.