Summary: "If you want, if you really want to see where this can go then I'm willing to try but if not, you have to leave me alone Paul..." Paul has always been opposed to imprinting, it taking away his pack brothers free will, but then Nora enters his life and everything he ever believed in was thrown out the window and the promises Nora made to herself are flying right out the window too.

Disclaimer: I own only the characters/places etc I have added to the world Stephanie Meyer created, everything else is hers!

AN: So this is one of ten pack stories (one for each pack member) that I'd like to post, that is if this one is received well. So please enjoy and please let me know what you think!

The Touch of Fear

I fear for you
I fear for me
I fear of what
will come to be

-Matthew Densley

Preface

"I'm tired of hugging pillows, counting on blankets for warmth, and reliving romantic moments only in my dreams. I'm tired of hoping that every day will hurry so I can get on to the next; hoping that it will be a better day but it never is. I'm tired and alone-"

Paul interrupted me "I'm here Nora, always."

I shook my head, he said that but he wasn't- not always. "You've been pushing me away Paul, I never know from one day to the next how you're going to react to seeing me. I know you didn't want this, or me but I can't keep doing this with you. This isn't easy for me either, I've lost too much already, and I can't get attached to you just so I can lose you as well."

"Nora, please-"he began to beg.

I stopped him. "Let me finish, please." He nodded, so I continued. "If you want, if you really want to see where this can go then I'm willing to try but if not you have to leave me alone Paul, I can't deal with these up and down emotions of yours. It's too much, I can't cope, I'm on the edge and I'm so close to falling."

I was, never knowing how he was going to treat me from one day to the next had me in all sorts of panics. I was getting whiplash from his ever changing moods. Sometimes I was his world and then sometimes I felt like a piece of crap on his shoe.

I didn't know if I could cope without him, but I knew I couldn't cope with him if he didn't start deciding what he wanted I couldn't stay with him.

"It's up to you Paul; I've done everything I can. What do you want to do?"

Chapter One

The light flickered, like me it was close to burning out, just giving up. I understood the need, the want to just give up and switch off. Unfortunately it's easier for a light bulb than a human but I was pretty sure I could give it a pretty good go.

The light was fading as I sat by the window; it had been a miserable day in every single way. The heavens had opened in the early hours of the morning, as if it were grieving with me but even the heavens could not shed the same amount of tears that I did.

The funeral had been beautiful but the beauty of it didn't take away my pain, or sadness. If anything it made me cry more and I wasn't the only one, Carol- his mother- held onto my hand the entire time... she never once let go. We were each other's rock yet it didn't feel right, he used to be our rock, both of us used to lean on him for support but that support, and him was gone.

'...run Simba, run and never return...' the television caught my attention, the Lion King was playing on the channel I had hazily changed it too, it was nearly silent but I heard those words, saw the little cartoon lion run away from the mistake he thought he made, the death he thought he'd caused.

Run and never return sounded good, simple, it sounded like an answer. So run!

The Touch of Fear

Running away isn't as easy as I thought, apparently it takes a bit more planning than just packing a bag and jumping in a car. For one I realised that I didn't know where I was running to and secondly wherever I was going, I would need fuel if my car was going to make it... somewhere, anywhere. Thirdly I was very aware that it was probably the most stupidest thing I would ever do, running away, all because of a Disney film but I needed space, a place that didn't remind me of him. Running was all that made sense.

I pulled up to a garage, hopping out the car and filling it up forgetting to check how much it was clocking up to, instead I drifted, drifted to a memory...

..."oh we're half way there, oh-oh living on a prayer..."

"You're a terrible singer Nora" Matt said smiling at me from the passenger's seat as I belted out 'Living on a prayer' as well as I could.

I smiled and laughed with him, "Whatever!" I mock glared at him smiling all the while because I was always smiling when I was around him.

"You know we can't keep driving forever, right?"

I pouted, "Why not?"

He laughed, "Because for one, school starts again in two weeks and two... well because we are running low on fuel." He said pointing to my fuel gage.

I scowled, "Smart-ass."

"But I'm a smart-ass you love."

I tried to bite back the smile, "Sometimes" I said with a playful shrug.

"Oh, that hurt. You're killing me babe" he gripped his chest as if he were in really pain and I giggled.

"You're such a weirdo!"

"Just punch a guy while his down why don't you!" he said throwing his arms out for dramatic effect while fighting a smile, he was losing the fight, big time.

I laughed softly and spotted a fuel station and pulled in.

"Go fill us up then babe," I said smiling before leaning over to kiss him softly on the lips which he returned eagerly, I could even feel his smile while our lips were still locked.

He pulled away, far to soon for my liking "of course, we couldn't have you getting your hands dirty could we princess..."

... "Shit!" I cursed as I saw how much money I had clocked up to $56.87 well that's just great! I cursed myself for letting my thoughts wander, especially to the memories filled with him it was all still to raw, to painful.

I opened the door and grabbed my purse only realising then that in fact my hands were dirty, smudges covering the palms of my hands. We couldn't have you getting your hands dirty could we princess his voice was like a whisper in the wind though it was only just a whisper of a memory, even his voice didn't sound right. I couldn't quite remember the right pitch to his voice.

That scared me more than the memories. Not remembering, slowly forgetting his smell, his voice, his smile. I would rather live with the memories haunting me than forget completely.

"Miss, are you ok?" a man in his mid-thirties was standing beside the boot of my car, looking at me with concern. "You've been standing there for an awfully long time. Are you ok?"

I nodded dumbly, "Ye-yes, fine thanks." I found my voice and smiled before wiping my hands on my jeans and going to pay for the fuel, the hideous amount of fuel that was costing a little more than I had anticipated.

The man was gone by the time I made it back to my car which I was grateful for, I didn't do well with strangers, not anymore and especially if they asked me if I was ok. I had been asked that so many times at the funeral, from friends of his I hardly knew and long lost relatives even he hadn't met, it was always the same 'how are you' and 'I'm sorry for your loss' always with a sympathetic smile and eyes filled with pity.

The truth is when someone ask's 'how are you' they really don't want an answer and that's fine with me because I couldn't give them a real answer. So instead I would just smile and so 'thank you, I'm doing ok' and I didn't mean it once but no one noticed because no one really cared.

The Touch of Fear

When you don't know where you're going the road seems longer, almost as if it's hoping you don't get anywhere at all. But, finally I made it somewhere, well fate intervened and I found myself stuck somewhere. After passing through many different places including a weird place called Forks my car gave up about ten minutes after passing a sign saying Welcome to La Push.

My car chugged to a stop on a patch of small pebbles which I presumed to be the parking area for the beach that lay ahead of me. It was around eleven thirty, the night was well settled and the scene before almost took my breath away. The moonlight reflected on the water, the stars shone in the sky and as I stepped out of my car the gentle wind brushed across my face bringing with it the salty smell of the sea. I closed my eyes and smiled with a soft sigh, something about the sea had always made me smile.

A noise caught my attention, that and a figure stumbling down the sea-front. I could see that the person was male and was carrying a bottle, well clutching it for dear life. Even from afar I could see that he was a well defined male, his frame alone screamed muscular and something about him seemed familiar almost as if we had something in common. So without thinking I locked my car and started to walk towards him, not really knowing what I'd do when I reached him.

I questioned my sanity while walking towards him, had I lost my mind as well as the man I loved. Maybe he took it with him, my mind and my heart? Before I would never have just got up and left my life behind or walked along a beach in the middle of the night just to chat to some stranger, a drunken stranger at that. Had grief changed me that much, had I become someone entirely different?

Whether I had or not I wasn't sure but I knew that I had to talk to the stranger. Maybe something intervened, maybe my car ran out of fuel here for a reason...

AN: So what do you think?

For those of you who were reading S H A T T E R E D H E A R T S I'm sorry that I deleted it but I just wasn't feeling the story and I really had no clue where to go with it, and honestly no one really seemed that interested in it. But I promise this story and the nine more that I have already started writing won't lose my interest and I hope you enjoy them as much as I am enjoying writing them.