I do not own the 100 or its characters. I own only the plots/ideas/situations that I have placed the characters in and my OCs.

Full Summery: A whole year has passed since Octavia has been on the ground. She has survived through the fall to earth with the hundred, two separate wars, becoming the 13th clan, and her first winter but many others had died along the way. She wasn't the only one who thought so either as a celebration to honor and commemorate those they've lost is set for the one year anniversary of the drop-ship's launch. She isn't pleased when she learns that the commander's first inspection of the clan coincides with the celebration. But that all changes when she catches the commander paying a visit to the memorial statue.

The Traveler's Blessing
Chapter 1: Regrets

"They're here. Open the gate." The guards are quick to obey Octavia as she approaches Arkadia on horseback. As the gate swings open she is extremely grateful to see everyone in position and ready to welcome the commander and her gonakru for the inspection. Octavia slows her mount to a rapid walk as she passes through the gate. She heads directly for the stables and dismounts before leading the mare to her stall.

"Jazzy boy see to it that Griff is rubbed down and watered." She doesn't wait for confirmation from the booze hound, he's lucky to still be alive after the war, as she hurries to join the chancellors at the gates. She barely gets into position beside Raven as the forward scouts emerge from the treeline.

There's only two of them and before they've made it to the halfway point the rest of the gonakru follow behind them. The scouts halt to either side of the gate, giving her, Raven, and Kane a perfect view of the commander. They all breath a little easier when they see that she's accompanied by Indra and Aden, her warpaint is also absent.

Its nerve wracking to stand still and watch the commander ride toward them, the last time it happened they were all expecting to die that day. They wouldn't learn why they weren't killed for a long time. But when they did, they knew who to thank for their lives. As the commander reaches the gates she halts her troops with a raised hand. There are sharp intakes of breath from most of the guard at the immediate compliance to the simple gesture.

Octavia fights back a grin and Raven tries to stifle her snort, she fails miserably. Kane simply huffs with fond exasperation for his successor as he strides forward to welcome the commander to Arkadia. The exchange is short and when the commander nods to Indra, the general's voice is a growl. "The commander will stay in the sky people's camp. We are to make camp in the forest."

With reluctance all of the soldiers that accompanied her from Polis disperse, with the exception of Aden. She waits until the scouts have disappeared beneath the trees before dismounting and leading her horse through the gates. Aden follows her lead and dismounts as well.

"Chancellor Kane, vice Chancellor Raven, General Octavia, I trust you've all been well this past winter?" Her question is met with three nods.

"General Octavia please see to the horses, Aden will assist you. Then see about getting some food into him, his stomach has been complaining since Tondisi." She sees the grin on Kane and a twinkle of amusement in Raven's eyes. She knows that Aden must be pouting at her. It is good to finally get to inspect the Skaikru when there wasn't an impending war waiting to break out.

"Come on squirt. The faster we get the horses settled and your black hole of a stomach sated, the sooner we can spar." Octavia says as she grabs the reins from the commander and leads Aden to the stables.

"Chancellor Kane, vice Chancellor Raven, shall we begin with the defenses?"

Her flame keeper was right, it helped to see Skaikru thriving but she still felt like she was drowning. But for her people she could pretend that she wasn't. It was easier in Polis to avoid it but among the Skaikru there was no escape. Every time she caught a glimpse of the color, her chest constricted and she could hardly draw a full breath. Some days it is easy to reach the surface and tread there; these days are few and far between. The rest are difficult to make it through but she does, she has to.

The day is long and by the time she is shown to her room, she is tired. Too tired to be bothered by the fact that her room is located in Raven's quarters. As soon as the door closes she collapsed upon the bed. She, hopefully, will not move for the rest of the night and when she falls asleep it will not be restful. Sleep is something she fears now, that's where they lurk. But eventually her eyes close and no matter how hard she fights the darkness, it swallows her whole.

She feels the hot sticky liquid as it rapidly soaks through her shirt, staining it. The weight is unexpected and her knees buckle. There is a numbness spreading through her body. She hears a strangled exclamation and as her eyes lift to locate the source, her vision slowly fills with a haze of red. Her body shifts in preparation to stand but a pained whimper rends the air and it is like a spear being driven through her heart.

Her eyes fly open and she rolls off the bed. She lands in a crouch as her eyes scan the room, its empty. Upon seeing no threats she flops gracelessly to the floor. The cool metal is a soothing balm to her sweaty overheated skin. She wills her racing heart to slow as she attempts to deepen her breathing; her breaths were shallow and as rapid as her heart beat. The floor is hard but she can't muster the energy to crawl, much less stand, and fall back into the bed. She will get no more sleep tonight and she suspects that what little sleep she can get will be reduced to nothing while she is among the Skaikru.

The next morning she is up and dressed, fore going her long coat in favor of a short jacket that she found in the room's closet. A knock sounded before the door was opened, her guide this morning was Octavia. "General."

"Heda."

She was glad that she had not succeeded in having Octavia killed. The Skaikru's war general was one, among very few of them, that she could tolerate. They walked in the early morning silence to the mess hall. Other than the cooks and a handful of Skaikru, the place was empty. Octavia directed her to a table and as she took a seat, she watched the general take her place in line. Her attention was drawn to the two Skaikru at the table on her left.

"Why did I let you convince me that working the morning shift was a good idea?"

"Because if you were caught fighting with Trent again you'd spend a month in lock up. Its not my fault you have a short temper."

"But he's such a bastard and-"

A loud clatter drowned out the rest of the conversation and her eyes focused on the tray of food in front of her as Octavia took a seat across from her.

"The sky people work in shifts?" She found that as long as she kept her mind occupied, her thoughts were less likely to dwell on her nightmares.

"People do more work that way. On the ark each station and the people who lived there, specialized in certain jobs. Like Raven and Sinclair. Sinclair works in the morning and helps keep the rovers, radios, and the water running. When he's done with that, he helps repair random junk that people bring to him. When the afternoon rolls around, Raven takes over and Sinclair can do whatever for the rest of the day." Octavia said and then attacked her food with vigor.

She'd be lying to herself if she said she wasn't impressed with how the Skaikru did certain things. In some areas they were even more efficient than the rest of the coalition put together. The most memorable example was how they helped Azgeda ration their food to survive the winter after the war. Very few Azgeda citizens died and the few that did were either very young or very old.

They were also capable of taking down pauna with zero casualties to their hunting parties. Their medicine was also a sight to behold. The war affected everyone and she feared that many gona would be forced to retired but Skaikru medicine saved many from that cruel fate. Skaikru earned their place among the coalition as well as the respect of many clans during and after the war.

"I want to see her." Her voice is quiet and she hates how Octavia flinches. She hates that flinch and what it usually means. She does not care.

"I'm not sure that that is the best idea." Octavia stops eating and grabs for her tray, so she can stack it on her own. As the general rises from the table the commander can see the conflict in her eyes.

"Please, O. I need to see her." She knows that she's has gone to far when Octavia's face hardens and as the general turns from the table, "Her birthday is today."

It seems that they both refuse to pull their punches. She swallows harshly and fights the tears as they threaten to spill over, yet another thing that she did not know about. Her stoic mask is fragile but firmly in place by the time Octavia returns for her. She follows the general to Raven's workshop, yesterday the vice Chancellor said she had something to show her.

The bed is just as uncomfortable as yesterday but she is just as drained as she was yesterday too. But today is far worse and she knows that her nightmare will be equally as horrible.

She does not remember much of the next couple of minutes but she is very aware of her hands pressing down on the wound. The blood is vivid against pale skin. She pushes down harder as instructed and the sounds that escape into the air, break her. She is unable to focus properly on anything but the blood turning the white furs red. There is too much noise and everything is too much.

"Guards!" She doesn't notice the slight shake in her voice nor does she notice how Titus has moved closer to her.

"Leksa I-"

"Guards!" She yells over him and when he makes another attempt to explain himself, her glare silences him. His face goes deathly pale and he stumbles back. The doors burst open as four guards rush in.

"Daxos, Grath, the two of you will lock the Fleimkepa in a cage until I say other wise. Take him now." She waits until they've dragged Titus from the room before issuing more orders, "Ram, summon Alton. Zoran cut the skayon loose."

"M-Murphy," A wet cough draws her attention back to the blonde on the bed. "His name is Murphy, Lex."

"Shh...don't speak Klark. Save your strength for when Alton gets here." Her heart dies just that little bit more when she see's those blue eyes fill with tears.

"The bullet...clipped...a...lung..." Each word that Clarke spoke had blood seeping from the corners of her mouth. "There's...nothing...anyone...can...do. Not even...Skaikru..."

She can see the vibrant blue beginning to fade to gray. She knows it won't be long now. But she can't say the words. She refuses to say them, instead she says, "You were right Klark. Life is about more than just surviving."

The radiant smile that she receives for that is the last one from Klark that she will ever see. "Tell me what the sky people say."

"In peace..." But Clarke doesn't speak anymore because she has pulled Lexa in for one last kiss and when Lexa pulls back, Clarke is still.

"You said you'd never leave me." Her vision blurs as tears roll down her face and she crawls onto the bed and clings to Klark. That is when she hears the ragged breath.

"I-I won't. I'll be h-here." Clarke's hand rests over her heart.

"In peace may you leave the shore," His voice is rough but steady, "In love may you find the next, safe passage on your travels until our final journey to the ground. May we meet again."

A sound shatters the air and makes Murphy jumps back into Zoran and they both topple to the floor. The two will never be able to forget the sound of the commander's sorrow for the rest of their lives. They make silent promises to be be there for the broken woman.

She bolts upright and lashes out with a fist but it never connects as Octavia's hand is wrapped around her wrist, preventing her from striking Raven. She is still reeling from the nightmare and doesn't realize that she is crying but like her suffering, her tears are silent.

"Is something wrong?" Her voice does not shake.

"I think that's supposed to be my question. Why were you screaming bloody murder-" Octavia lets out an indigent squawk as Raven shoves her toward the door. "Go tell the vultures out there that it was me. Nightmares about the mountain."

"Why-"

"O, people die when your in charge." Octavia recoiled as if struck and then turned on her heel to march out the door. "It was Raven having a nightmare about the mountain. Move along people."

The mechanic heaved a sigh as she hobbled over to a chair and sat down. It was silent for a moment before she addressed the commander. "Lexa, I am going to ask you a question and I need you to tell me the truth. Have you grieved for Clarke at all?"

She froze at the vice chancellor's question. None of the Skaikru in Arkcadia should have known about her relationship with Clarke. She didn't know how to answer that question. It must have been apparent to Raven because the girl was speaking to her unvoiced panic. "I was in the mountain for a brief amount of time before those ice assholes made it go boom. But while I had the access and maybe more hacking skill then I let on, I pulled up the video footage for the night of the siege. It took a while but eventually I got good angles for the both of you.

Clarke's face said it all, the two of you weren't just leaders planning a war. There was something else there. And then there's you. There was a tear rolling down your face as you turned to leave. Now fast forward to the war with Allie. It wasn't hard to connect the dots after that. What happened?"

"I loved her that's what happened. And then my most trusted adviser shot her. The bullet clipped a lung and she drowned in her own blood." She refused to break down in front of Raven. She could not afford to be seen as weak. No one could ever know how utterly Klark's death has destroyed her.

Raven went still at the commander's confession. No one had known about Clarke until after they'd destroyed the city of light. And she'd seen first hand the terrible rage that the commander was capable of, after Allie had tried to trick her with a fake version of Clarke. The mechanic swore then and there to never get on her bad side.

"Lexa, look at me." Raven's voice was soft but she looked anywhere but at the vice chancellor. "Don't make me come over there, Heda."

Slowly she met Raven's gaze and found understanding in it. It hurt so much that she couldn't hold back the tide anymore. She cried harder than she ever had before and she lost all sense of her surroundings as she surrendered to the ocean of grief inside her. Sometime later when her throat was raw and her eyes stung she said, "It was her birthday today."

"Damn it O." Raven whispered curses under her breath. "It was Abby's birthday today. Clarke's birthday is next month. And its really not fair that you cry like a boss too."

"Are you even speaking Gonasleng?" She felt even worse at hearing the faint amusement that crept into her tone.

Raven rolled her eyes at the commander and ignored her question. "Go back to sleep. I'll tell Kane you went hunting or something. And no arguing, right now you are not the commander of 13 clans. Just for today you are Lexa Woods and you've lost the woman you love. Take the day Woods, grieve, get drunk, and remember the good times. Because sometimes that's all you can do. I'll bring some of Monty's hooch by for you later."

As her eye tracked Raven's progress to the door, she adds yet another thing to her growing list of things that Skaikru does better than the rest of the coalition; they don't see her as an unapproachable pillar of strength nor do they expect her to be one all the time.

True to her word Raven came by much later that day with an absurd amount of Monty's hooch and the two spent the rest of it getting drunk. The last that she remembers of the night is Raven getting her into bed.

A profound silence surrounded them. Nothing dared to shatter it as they watched the commander carefully disentangle herself from Clarke and stand upright next to the bed. That had been ten minutes ago and now she was just standing there. Murphy shared a dubious look with Zoran who shook her head. He sighed, stepped forward and then stepped past the woman. He made sure to not brush against her.

As he reached for Clarke, he stilled when he felt a hand grip his arm painfully. When he glanced at the woman, he very nearly pissed himself. "I'm just going to cover her up."

He resisted the urge to rub over the spot that she'd held onto when she let him go. It was just as he stepped back from the bed that the doors flew open. Ram and Alton rushed inside only to stop dead at the scene before them.

"Alton," The three grounders' hearts sunk and all three fought the urge to shrink back when she turned to face the healer. "Heda?"

"See to Murphy of the sky people. He was held as Titus's prisoner and was tortured, the flame keeper failed to notify me of this. He is no longer a prisoner and is under my protection. Any further harm that comes to him, I will match on his attacker. Jus drain Jus daun. Zoran, Ram, take K...Wanheda's body to the crypt." There was a chorus of two 'Sha, Heda's' , Zoran nodded, as each of them swiftly carried out her orders. She stayed only long enough to ascertain that Murphy's wounds wouldn't kill him before returning to her room.

Her hands shook and it took her longer than it ever had to buckle her long coat. The weight of her pauldron as she secured it in place had never felt so heavy. The body wide trembling had lessened considerably by the time she finished braiding her hair. There was no trace of anything other than a disquieting calmness to her movements as she brushed the kohl around her eyes. Her descent to the crypt passes in no time at all but the rest of the night is the longest since Costia's death.

" Ambassadors of the coalition, we are gathered here today to discuss a very serious matter." She sweeps her eyes across the room and meets the eyes of all the ambassadors. "Murphy of the sky people is here to represent the Skaikru in Wanheda's place."

Murmurers broke out among the ambassadors at her announcement but none are brave enough to voice their dissent. She does not know whether it is because of Titus's absence at her side, the presence of her novitiates, or that she is in full battle regalia.

"Ram, Grath, bring the flame keeper in." At this the room goes quiet as her guards drag Titus in and put him on the tree. She waves to her guards to join the novitiates behind her. She would not deny them a chance to see justice done for Clarke, the two had volunteered to guard her on numerous occasions; they didn't do that unless they liked who they were guarding.

"Ambassadors, yesterday the flame keeper assassinated Wanheda. By attacking her, he attacked me. By killing her, he has committed treason and not even his status as flame keeper will save him. I will now give him a chance to explain his actions before I take his life. What have you to say, Titus?"

"You would go back on blood must not have blood?"

Her teeth ache from how hard she's pressed them together to prevent her mask from breaking at his cowardice. "You said it yourself on ascension day, it has failed. Who am I to try and better our people when blood must have blood has brought us this far? What better way to uphold tradition than to start with your blood? The kill order wasn't in effect. And whose to say that you won't stop at just the Skaikru ambassador?"

"I-"

"Murphy please tell the other ambassadors what you told me this morning." She no longer wished to hear the poison in his words.

"His plan was to kill Cla...uh...er Wanheda and blame me for it. He wanted to make the commander angry enough to declare war on Skaikru." He said wanting to kick himself for his slip.

"Former flame keeper your guilt is without question." She rose smoothly from her seat and descended the steps to the floor. In a motion almost too quick for many of the ambassadors to follow, she drew a dagger and lodged it in Titus. She had taken careful aim so that her dagger wouldn't kill him instantly. Blood poured from his mouth as she approached him. Each breath was a wet gurgle and she knew that it burned with every inhale. When she had closed the last of the distance between them, she leaned in and whispered into his ear. "Now that you have experienced the pain of drowning in your own blood. I will become Wanheda, just like you wanted."

When she stepped back, she yanked the dagger free and slashed his throat. As blood splattered across the ground she addressed the room."Ambassadors this concludes our business. I ride for the blockade with the Skaikru ambassador today."

The rest of her stay among the Skaikru was uneventful and it was odd to see the Skaikru so well adjusted to life on the ground, especially after their eventful first year. Just seeing so many of them laughing and carefree allowed her to experience a moment of peace but it was just that, a moment.

On her last day before her return to Polis she found herself an empty section of the wall around Arkadia and watched the Skaikru go about their day to day tasks. It was here that Raven found her.

"So how would you like to crash a party?"

Her only response was an un-impressed glare that did not deter the vice chancellor one iota. "Its tonight at the dropship and if you're stealthy enough no one will notice. All of the Skaikru will be there for the unveiling of the memorial statute, to commemorate and pay respect to everyone we've lost. Today marks a whole year since the dropship was launched."

"I'd rather not show weakness in front of an audience." It was one thing to show weakness to Raven behind closed doors but it would be another thing entirely to do so in front of the Skaikru.

"Shit, sorry. I guess it would ruin your whole unapproachable badass persona if that happened." Raven flashed her a rueful grin and left.

She waited until the sun had fully set and the moon was half-way across the night sky, over the course of its travel she watched the Skaikru return from the dropship, before heading into the forest. She kept to the trees to avoid the last few stragglers. From her position in the trees and her search of the area around the camp, she didn't see anyone. She quickly climbed down the tree and slipped through the open gate. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of the statue; where there was once a ship, there was now a tree. A giant metal tree dwarfed the walls that surrounded it. The entire tree was glowing blue.

She forced herself to look away from it and as hard as she tried to, she couldn't force her body to take her away from it. Instead she moved closer to the tree. And as she did, the encompassing blue glow of the tree slowly took on shapes; those shapes turned into names. The name of every sky person was glowing blue. Like the soncha tri.

Her eyes scanned the glowing names involuntarily for the only one that mattered to her. When she found it, her tears returned with a vengeance. Her eyes closed as her finger tips traced each letter; Clarke Griffin.

"Kom chilnes yu na ban sishou-de au, Kom hodnes yu na hon neson op. Gouthru klir hashta yu soujon, Kom taim oso fali kom daun gon graun-de. Mebi oso na hit choda op nodataim." Her voice was a reverent whisper as she spoke, her fingertips kept tracing the letters over and over again.

"You have some nerve being here..." She didn't react to her voice nor did she stop tracing Clarke's name. "seeing as how more than half of those names are there because of you. Hers is there because of you."

Her fingers still, she withdraws her hand from the tree, and subtly swipes the evidence of her weakness from her face. She does not offer any explanation to the doctor, because there isn't one. At least not one that the woman wants to hear. The doctor has already placed blame exactly where it belongs.

"I will leave now." But as she turns from the tree, her legs give out and she collapses on the ground. She hears the doctor's footsteps as the woman approaches. She raises a hand, "Don't concern yourself with me. I'm..."

She jerks awake and is reclining against the metal tree. As she tries to rise from the ground she feels a hand gently land on her shoulder. "Its best if you stay on the ground, commander."

She says nothing but doesn't try to move again. The doctor is kneeling in front of her.

"When was the last time you got a full night's rest?" The question was accompanied by a blinding white light that the doctor shone into both of her eyes. Mercifully the light vanishes moments later as the doctor stands to put distance between them.

"I don't get more than a few candle marks a night." At the confusion on the doctor's face she uses the Skaikru term, "Two hours. Three if I'm lucky. You don't have to concern yourself with me, Abi. I'm fine."

"Obviously not."Abby's tone is biting as she continues, "And I'm going to do everything in my power to look after you because for some damn reason, one that I would really like to know, my daughter loved you. I've not been the best mother for her that I could've been and as much as I hate you...I will concern myself with your heath, for Clarke."

"How did...?"

"Raven wasn't the only one there when Allie made Clarke appear, it confirmed what I already suspected since the night of the missile." The doctor's eyes shifted from the commander to her daughter's name. "A small part of me is thankful to you for getting her out of the village, the larger part curses you for putting a decision like that on her shoulders. I just need to know one thing, Commander. Did you ever care about her?"

Her entire body thrummed with unbridled rage at the doctor's question, she relished the burn of her fury; as it was the first thing that she's felt other than sorrow since Clarke died. In an instant she rises from the ground, grabs the doctor, and slams her against the tree. "Do I care she asks? No. I am, was, far pasting caring. I loved her so much that every second from the moment of her last breath is a struggle; I struggle just to think, breath, eat, and sleep. I can't look at the sky or the color blue without feeling like a knife is being driven into my lungs. My body is alive but my heart is dead as though I can't live in this world without her. But I do."

"Why?" The doctor's use of Trigedasleng causes her to stagger back. She tries to stem the fresh wave of tears that spill over but she can't, she never could. With effort she steps closer to the tree to place a trembling hand over Clarke's name.

"I swear fealty to you, Klark Kom Skaikru. I vow to treat your needs as my own and your people as my people. If I were to die...I can't protect the Skaikru like she would have." The silent 'if she were still here' hangs in between them. She knows the doctor's intent, she can easily read it in the woman's body language. She lets the doctor pull her into an embrace. As soon as she feels the doctor's arms around her, she loses the battle and her sobs rush out as she lets her grief be heard for the first time.

Everyone was long gone now and she could finally have a moment to read the names of everyone that she feels that she let down. The person who she feels that she failed the most being the last one that she finds. Her hand rests over their name as the tears start rolling. "Heya Griff. Its been one hell of a wild ride, yeah? But the forty three of us are still going strong, its fallen to me and Raven to keep them safe. Bellamy died defending Pike and his lackeys from the coalition and than a psycho computer goes on a rampage by turning everyone into a mindless zombie. If I had not lived through it, I'd swear it was a fucking movie.

Its taken me a long time to understand that you did the best you could during the war with the mountain; to understand those impossible decisions. I learned from Ryder that you went toe to toe with the commander to prevent her from killing me after the missile. I was so angry but not at you and maybe if I hadn't lashed out, we could've had those three months with you.

And I know you'd want me too but I can't forgive Lexa for killing you. She took you away from us. I also can't believe Rae-"

She cuts herself off as she hears a near silent thump, like a pair of feet hitting the ground. With no way of knowing where the person is, she dives behind the tree and press her back against it. Her muscles are tense as she waits for whoever it is to appear. Anger courses through her when she hears the commander's start speaking and just as she is about to move out from behind the tree, the woman's words take the fight right out of her. "In peace may you leave the shore, in love may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels until our final journey to the ground. May we meet again."

She can't reconcile Lexa's near heartbreaking recitation of the traveler's blessing with the commander's dispassionate announcement of Clarke's death after the war with Allie. She had known that something else was going on between Clarke and the commander; she even jokingly started referring to them as Clexa in her head whenever she saw them together. But after the mountain, she was angry that Clarke could so easily fail for the commander's lies again. She wishes that she could go back to that awful day and do it better because after the announcement she went to Polis looking for answers and found Murphy being trained to become the flame keeper; Murphy would only tell her that Clarke died on ascension day.

She could only think of one reason why Clarke was gone. The commander killed her to take the power of Wanheda. Its why she enjoyed dropping little things about Clarke around the commander but no matter how much she said, the commander remained cold and distant. This led Octavia to the only logical conclusion; the commander had toyed with Clarke's emotions, molded her into Wanheda, and killed her for the power.

The tree behind her shook as something was pushed against it. She almost jumped out from behind it to see what was happening but once more, the commander's voice froze her in place. It honestly terrified her to hear the harsh string of Trig that filled the air. "Do I care she asks? No. I am, was, far pasting caring. I loved her so much that every second from the moment of her last breath is a struggle; I struggle just to think, breath, eat, and sleep. I can't look at the sky or the color blue without feeling like a knife is being driven into my lungs. My body is alive but my heart is dead as though I can't live in this world without her. But I do."

Octavia's mind was sent reeling at this. Each word ripped into her soul and it hurt. She had no idea how Lexa, how anyone, could hold herself together like she had during the war. To just keep going like she had. How could she? As if the universe was punishing her for her rash assumptions, Lexa started to speak, with a soft tenderness to her voice, "I swear fealty to you, Klark Kom Skaikru. I vow to treat your needs as my own and your people as my people. If I were to die...I can't protect the Skaikru like she would have."

Her tears came hot and fast when she heard the very first and very real expression of grief from the commander. Octavia's body ached, her eyes stung, and she had nothing to wipe her nose with. She just wanted to sleep for forever and settled in to do just that, it wouldn't be the first time she spent the night out there.

Before she drifted off to the sounds of Abby trying to calm the commander down and coax her back to Arkadia, Octavia looked up at the sky. She loved stargazing but like the commander, she could hardly stand to look at it because the weight of her regrets on ascension day threatened to crush her. Her last thought as she fell asleep was. I wish I could go back to ascension day and save them.

"Okteivia Kom Skaikru." Octavia jolted awake at Indra's voice. Her eyes automatically scanning her surroundings. She was in Polis leaning against the back of a stall in the market, the very same stall that she had waited for Clarke at on ascension day. She blinked and blinked again when nothing had changed, then she pinched her arm hard enough to leave a mark.

She shook her head as the last that she could remember was feeling like a total bitch for blaming Lexa for Clarke's death and thinking the commander was a heartless monster...only to be proven egregiously wrong. And falling asleep beneath the memorial tree.

She immediately sprung into action and sprinted for the tower. With no way of knowing how she was suddenly here, she was going to make this count or she'd never be able to live with herself. She hoped that she could make it in time. Her entire world narrowed to one singular thought: Save Clarke, save Lexa.

So yeah this might be one of the cruelest fix-it fics ever...originally a one-shot. Updates will be infrequent maybe every two weeks (heavy emphasis on maybe). I cried while writing this... This fic was written while I listened to this song: Life Screams by Lacy Sturm.

Trigedasleng Translations:

soncha tri: Light trees. (blanket term the grounders use for the irradiated vegetation from S1, this my headcanon)

Since I'm pretty sure I covered all my bases in the actual story and I'm also reasonably sure that every knows the basic translations, kom skaikru, Heda, Sha etc. I'm not going to put them here. But If you don't know what something is leave a comment and I will put the translation up.