Notes: After 1 it's all post-decommissioning for Kuki. Kuki/Kenny(Numbuh 30c) dominantly Kuki/Wally. Kuki-centric. Not much of a timeline

This was meant to be a short story…but then I liked this better, sadly I could not just push them all into one measly sentence, so now they're 50 paragraphs ^^

I disclaim KND.

Patience.

1. Kuki listened to the ruthless instruction escaping Fanny's mouth and couldn't help but wonder why all her memory couldn't be replaced with a memory equally as warm. She looked at her teammates, and wished she didn't forget their faces so much. She caught Wally's eye and the sadness that swam in the green depths made her wish all the harder.

2. She couldn't sleep in the cold room, as if she weren't used to the sheets. These fretful nights were becoming frequent, and she couldn't help but feel a loathing to the environment that would never be as comfortable as she remembered her room being.

3. The blonde boy always stared at her, but he barely replied to her greeting. He just frowned lightly and walked away, and she just watched his back as he went.

4. Kuki tried extremely hard to stay awake, her desk was hard and gave her an unholy crick when she woke, but she couldn't, for the life of her, fall asleep at night. She felt empty and the gaping hole in her memory where her childhood should've been didn't help her.

She sat bolt upright when her English teacher yelled her name.

5. School was frustrating, Kuki hated the stares, and felt like people knew something about her that she did not. Sometimes people looked at her with disgust, and sometimes she felt like they felt sorry for her. She didn't care, they were getting difficult to tell apart from one another. And the blonde boy didn't even spare her a glance anymore.

6. She could feel her mother's gaze, but she was only doing homework, and when she finally locked gazes with her parent, she was stern, but also concerned.

"Kuki, your father and I have decided that you might need therapy."

And she supposed that would be okay, perhaps needed, so Kuki only nodded and turned back to her work.

7. The whole class was too quite when as she reached the conclusion of her speech. There was the occasional whisper when the others had gone, and the silence had been surprising, but she'd continued unperturbed. Kuki smiled, because she was happy to get it all off her chest. The general theme had been change. And she thought she'd share her thoughts on how everything can feel like change, but it's hardly noticeable.

The next day when she got her grade, she smiled at the A.

8. "So I'm just saying," the boy before her said, eyes glistening with uncertainty. "I know what you mean – about that change stuff."

Kuki smiled at him, and proffered they eat lunch together.

9. It had gotten much easier to make friends – technically, in her case; a friend. Kuki listened intently to the goggled boy sitting opposite her – Kenny. She didn't mind being alone, she was happy all her own. Sometimes not as okay as the average of her mood a week because of her confusion, but eventually okay. She'd just forgotten the comfort in companionship.

Kenny had seated himself across her table for a week, and being his friend was nice.

10. Dr Sherhart had been staring at her for a good two minutes.

"So, I mean it was nice. You know, I won't do it again, it burned my throat too much," Kuki continued, "I'm not sure if it's really for me. Kenny seems to like it. So I kept the pack, I mean I think he thought I was hinting at wanting one, so it was alright for a belated birthday present. And it was nice hanging out with him after that. I actually kind of liked the smell. Anyway, that was a month ago."

The shrink took a pert sip of water, swallowing audibly, no doubt the news was shocking enough. Though this was common for teenage rebellion. "I see. So, Kuki, I'm sure that the experience of smoking was riveting enough for you?"

"Enough excitement on my end." Kuki nodded, crossing her legs.

"I should hope so. You've stopped waking up in the middle of the night, completely?" He asks, pencil ready at her file.

"I've gotten used to my room now, so none of that." Kuki frowned slightly, but just as quickly it turned into her usual grin, now on the bouts of becoming a woman, it was less childlike. Dr Sherhart took this as the beginning of his next round of questions.

"And the boys? Are they why you skipped our last two sessions, or was it really the 'workload of freshman year'?"

It still surprised him when Kuki didn't giggle, seeming to slip out of the mannerism, and instead she gave him a smirk.

11. Kuki slipped on the comfortable sweater and looked in the mirror. She didn't know why she wore it anymore; it just seemed to be part of the person she used to be – whom she didn't know. But somehow she'd changed. And it was year since she felt change. And she didn't know why she felt so nostalgic in the shirt, but she did. And she didn't like it.

She pulled it off, and the box inside the pocket clattered to the floor. She picked it up and realized that she didn't get a lighter with this pack of cigarettes. Kuki laughed fondly at how cheap her best friend was.

12. It was dark out when she met Kenny where they usually hung out; behind the apartment buildings. He adjusted his beany to cover his ears, his brown hair now reached the nape of his neck.

"You look cute today," he commented.

"I don't look cute all the time?" Kuki grinned at him. They were facing each other, leaning comfortably against walls. There was silence for moments and he looked at her as if deciding something.

"To me." And he kissed her.

13. Wallabee Beetles was a loner as far as Kuki knew. She remembered their rude introduction – which was more of an introduction on her part – and could say she'd gotten over the offense. When he started ignoring her, she did the same. She didn't appreciate him bringing it up again by staring at her when she was very well in the middle of kissing Kenny good-bye.

She tried to ignore it, especially in Kenny's attempt at deepening it when the teacher in charge of detention didn't show up.

14. It was in the park, hardly five miles a walk away from school, that Kuki saw him again. He was on the swing set, casually taking gulps out of a can.

"Hey," she greeted, looking at him seriously.

"Hm."

She took as an invitation to sit beside him, sneaking a glance at the six-pack at his feet. There were still classes at school, Kenny had asked her to meet him there. She usually didn't skip, but Kenny was sick, and therefore; she was sick too. Or so the nurse thought.

15. Kuki didn't realize how late it was – or rather early, past midnight. But her father snored and her mother had adapted to the noise. She didn't expect her sister to be waiting, scolding look melting once she saw Kuki's dishevelled state. And she cried on Mushi's shoulder.

16. She only felt anything above friendship for Kenny, but he sure as hell found reasons to think otherwise.

17. "Why are you here?" Wallabee leaned against the wall beside her. He obviously meant: "Why are you here, without him?" A house party.

Kuki sipped from her cup, and it burned her throat. Avoiding eye contact, she asked him for a dance.

18. She'd never been anywhere without him since the end of junior high. It was usually just the two of them, and this was change. And she was sick and tired of change.

19. If ever there was need for some simple stability in her life, and that implied a few differences, Kuki thought it was best to face it with a smile. That rule had completely no effect on her tears as she remembered Kenny's turned back.

20. "Stop hurting us."

"Why? Because I have something to be jealous of?"

"You don't have anything to worry about!"

"He fucking loves you Kuki."

And he left, again.

21. Kuki was alone, now. By choice. It had only her and Kenny for too long for it to just change to her and someone else. Her and Kenny. Wally wasn't anywhere close to that (she told herself). They were friends and then more, which turned to nothing, and she wasn't going to be around the person who she blamed for it – Beetles. Because then she'd have to face that it isn't really his fault.

22. Wally had finally stepped up and asked why she'd been ignoring him. And she told him. Ironically, he didn't return the favour, he smiled when she accused him of loving her.

23. Kuki's mother hadn't seen any reason for therapy again. Until, of course, Kuki had become still and recluse. What made her change her mind was when the Australian boy showed up, and performed a type of voodoo that made her smile.

24. Kuki didn't really recall falling for Kenny when it happened. She didn't know how it felt, it had just always been there. They were used to each other. Wally gave her butterflies, with slight brushes of their hands and him being open with her. He'd been open about his feelings for her, he said it felt like the good kind of change.

And he understood her in a different way than Kenny did. The same reasons she was against change, was the reasons he jumped into change.

25. The Gilligan kid wasn't so bad. As a tutor, he was brilliant. And she'd promised herself to stop skipping classes.

26. She didn't object his lips sliding over hers, or the way he nibbled her bottom lip. She gladly obliged, his roaming tongue, and met him with equal ferocity. His hands began trekking across her back, under her shirt, gradually lifting her shirt. And it became more passionate, Wally was not gentle, and she didn't mind it. She enjoyed it.

And then she was naked underneath him. And she realized that this was their first kiss, too.

27. Hoagie gave her extremely sheepish looks whenever he saw her. She nearly fainted when she saw the red, slightly swollen flesh marking her neck.

28. Promise be damned, she knew when Wally grabbed her arm and marched her off to who-knew-where before the bell rang it wasn't for shits and giggles.

29. It was maddening how jealous she got, over her extremely good-looking boyfriend – grabbing his collar and downright feeling him up because he was so obviously being flirted with was by no means okay – but, when she looked at him slamming Ace into the locker and threatening to kill him, she was relieved he felt the same way. Of course, that wasn't okay too.

30. It was both a morbid and happy moment for them at the news of her deportation. Her leaving for a while being morbid, and the proposal being happy.

~fin