Spudger
By
A. Rhea King

Author's note: 12/14/16. Moved chapter 7 to 8, and replaced chapter 7. NOW it's complete.

Chapter 1

My grandfather had a cabin in Minnesota that we visited often, and when I was 12, it was not uncommon for the snow there to last well into spring. So one warm spring day, I decided to build a snow igloo. While I was building it, my Grandfather asked if I planned on getting in it after I was finished. I told him of course I was. He put a stick inside my almost finished igloo and told me that if something went wrong, poke it up through the snow and he'd be watching for it. I didn't understand what that meant. Until I got in the snow igloo and it collapsed. See, my Grandfather knew what I didn't, but he also knew that if he'd told me not to go through with my plan, I would have just ignored him. He chose to let me learn by leaving a lifeline for when my poor decision ended with me buried under melting snow. I poked the stick up through the snow, and within a minute he was pulling me free from my snow tomb. What that lesson taught me was that when you see someone making a bad decision, sometimes you have to step back and let them have their bad decision, and just be the friend who dig them out of their avalanche of regret.

#

LAS ANGELES

MacGyver slowed to a stop outside of Thornton's office. Jack and Thornton were inside her office in a very heated argument. But more of a surprise was Jack's black eye, split and swollen lip, an ugly green bruised cheek, and cut up knuckles. He'd been in a fight with someone. Was that what the two were fighting about?

MacGyver walked over to the desk of Thornton's assistant, Annmarie, but didn't take his eyes off the two.

She didn't pause her speed typing when she told him, "No, I don't know what they're fighting about."

"How long have they been at it?"

"Twenty minutes."

"Did it start here?"

"I guess. He walked in while she was on the phone and the next thing I know they are at each other's throats."

The two suddenly noticed MacGyver. He offered a smile, which neither returned. Jack turned back to Thornton, pointing at her in a very threatening way. He said something final and stormed out.

MacGyver started to talk to Jack, but he growled as he stomped by, "She wants to see you."

He watched Jack go down the hall until he disappeared. Then he looked back at Thornton. She had returned to her desk, calmly working on her computer as if there had never been an argument. MacGyver walked into her office, closing the door behind him.

"Is everything okay?" he asked her.

"Yes. I need you on a flight to Caracas in thirty minutes. Riley is already at the airport. I'll have to brief you on the way."

"Okay. Is everything okay with you and Jack-"

"It was about a raise. He wants one, I can't..." She smiled at MacGyver. "I can't authorize raises right now. We don't have room in the budget yet."

He nodded. "He gets a little hot about money."

"Yes. A little. I need you on that plane in twenty-eight minutes now."

MacGyver nodded once and left. He had just stepped off the elevator into the parking garage when it suddenly hit him about why Jack would want a raise and be so mad that he didn't get it. It also frustrated him because he knew what he had to do next.

CARACAS

MacGyver sat in a dark, hot car next to Jack. His attention was divided between checking the mansion below with binoculars and watching Jack.

He sat next to MacGyver with a small flashlight propped up behind the steering wheel, aimed at the magazine in his lap. He probably could read only a quarter of the Spanish it was written in, but it was about sports and filled with scantily clothed women, so language barrier be damned! His attention was likely going to stay glued on that until MacGyver told him it was time to move.

MacGyver started to ask about the battle marks. Realizing he still didn't know what to say, he turned his attention back to the mansion. With the binoculars, he checked on the occupants.

A man in a tuxedo sat in an armchair in the great room. He kept anxiously glancing at his watch as he impatiently tapped his foot. He said something to one of the bulky bodyguards nearby, and the man left. MacGyver moved his view up to a bedroom. There was a woman in a black G-string and strapless bra in the bedroom trying to decide between two dresses. The sight was a bit too voyeur for MacGyver, and with embarrassment, he quickly lowered the binoculars. He continued watching the window, but at this distance, there wasn't enough detail to embarrass him.

"The wife still deciding on what to wear?" Jack asked.

"Yep. She has narrowed it down to the little red dress that might cover her underwear and the little black dress that will show a lot of cleavage."

Exasperated Jack quietly complained, "Oh for crying out loud, lady! Just pick a damn dress already!"

Jack tossed the magazine on the dash. He switched off the flashlight and slipped it into his jacket. He slid down in his seat with a sigh. "The lady must think she's going to meet the Queen of England or something."

"She isn't meeting royalty in those dresses, Jack," Riley quipped over their com earpieces.

"Are you two sure we can't just use that back gate?" Jack asked "We've had to climb fences on the last three missions, and I've torn three shirts. It's starting to get expensive!"

"Buy cheaper shirts just for missions," Riley suggested. "You don't need to wear Eton. You're not James Bond, you know."

"What the hell is an Eton?"

"You are so uncultured!" Riley laughed.

"I told you, Jack. That back gate only opens out, and messing with it will set off the security alarm." MacGyver sighed, looking at him. "Jack, what happened?"

"Where?" Jack sat up so he could see the mansion. "What did you see?"

MacGyver gave him a level stare when he looked back at MacGyver.

Jack slouched in his seat. "What are you talking about?"

"Who did you get into a fight with, Jack, and why."

Jack looked off down the road with a slight shrug. "No one. I-"

"You fell down some stairs and then ran into a door," Riley finished over the com. "I think it's safe to say that neither of us are buying that story. Just tell us who you got into a fight with. It was a girl, wasn't it? She weighed like 90 pounds, wet."

"It was a man and the thing was just... A misunderstanding," Jack told them.

"So the other guy was married to the woman you were hitting on?" Riley asked.

Jack sighed. "No, Riley! I don't date married women."

"Ya dated my mom."

"Your folks were legally separated," Jack reminded her.

"So why did you and the other guy get into a fight then?" MacGyver asked.

Jack shook his head. "Fine. Okay. I'll only tell you if you promise not to give me the third degree." He pointed at MacGyver.

MacGyver let out an exasperated sigh. "I knew it! How much do you owe and to who?"

"Nope! Uh-uh. If that's the attitude you're going to have, I am not telling you anything," Jack said to MacGyver.

"What are we talking about?" Riley asked.

"Jack, how much money did you lose, and who do you owe it to?"

"I didn't lose much. It was just a horse race."

"A horse race?" MacGyver was instantly suspicious. "Just one horse race and you got the crap beat out of you?"

"I was on a role."

"A role for how many horses?"

"I dunno. Seven, maybe nine."

"You got a winning streak of nine horse races?" Riley asked. "How? That's, like, statistically-"

MacGyver cut her off. "How much do you owe, Jack?"

"I only lost on the last race."

"And if you got beat up that means whoever loaned you that money knew how much you lost on nine horses and was expecting a percentage, which you don't have, I'm sure. So how much, Jack?"

"Enough."

"How much?"

Jack sighed. "Three hundred and sixty-five thousand."

"And who do you owe that to?" MacGyver asked at the same time Riley choked out, "Three hundred and sixty-five thousand!"

"Some people."

"Do not tell me it's that bookie from Atlantic City again. It was hard enough to convince him to back off the first time."

"No, it wasn't him. Besides, he's still in jail."

"Who then?"

Nonchalant, Jack asked, "Do you want to grill me on this or would you like to go down there and get that data tonight?"

"I do want to get the data, but-"

"Then duck." Jack dropped below the dash.

MacGyver looked down at the residence. A limousine was pulling out the front gates and turning in their direction. He ducked down below the dash and waited for it to pass. They sat up just enough to watch the limousine disappear down the road behind them.

"That just leaves two guards, one butler, and a maid, right?" Jack asked Riley.

"That's what the gardener told me. I think. My Spanish isn't that great," she answered.

Jack grabbed his gun and a flash drive from the middle console. He handed the flash drive to MacGyver.

MacGyver took the USB drive. "We are not done talking about this, Jack."

"Yeah, we are." Jack snapped his hand away and got out.

MacGyver got out and followed. Jack led the way down through lush growth to a fence. He reached out to grab the wire.

"STOP!" MacGyver whispered as Jack reached for the fence. "It's electrified. Riley, we need that power off."

Jack pulled back and waited.

The house went dark.

"They have a backup generator, but it's manual. You have five to ten minutes before the power comes back on. When it does, the alarm system and fence come back on too. Move it, guys," Riley told them.

The two scrambled over the fence and dropped down. They skirted the edge of the yard around to the back and crossed the lawn to a corner drain pipe. MacGyver started climbing, and Jack stayed close behind. They climbed up to a balcony with a set of French doors and dropped onto the balcony. MacGyver began working on the lock.

"If there's no power, how are we going to get data off the computer?" Jack asked MacGyver and Riley.

"It's has a backup battery," MacGyver answered. "It gives me ten minutes, more or less." The doors opened, and MacGyver trotted over to the computer. He wiggled the mouse to wake the computer. "Riley, what's the password?"

Across the com, she told him, "9rVcSwhv##."

He typed it in, slid the drive into a USB slot, found the files, and started copying them.

"Who do you owe the money to, Jack?" MacGyver asked.

"We're going to do this now?"

"Yes. Tell me."

"Why did I never know you gambled?" Riley asked Jack.

"He only gambles when he gets stressed out about a job," MacGyver told her. "and when he gets really stressed out, he takes giant, unnecessary, risks." MacGyver shot Jack a glare, "and then he expects me to bail him out."

Jack hissed. "I ain't asking you to bail me out!"

"Yet. You aren't asking, yet. The last time you owed money to people, they were going to kill you, and I barely made it in time to stop them."

"They won't kill me," Jack weakly replied, "I mean, I doubt they'll kill me. How would they get their money if I'm dead?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm convinced," Riley commented. "You're as good as dead, aren't you?"

Jack grimaced. "No. I'm not."

"Who do you owe?" MacGyver pressed. "Who do I have to convince not to kill you?"

"They don't want me dead. They just..." Jack hesitated. "I gotta do something for them, and then we'll be even."

"Judging from how this conversation is going so far, it's not legal, is it?" Riley asked.

Jack didn't answer, but his expression did.

"What illegal thing do you have to do to be even?" MacGyver asked.

"I should have just kept lying," Jack grumbled.

"Uh, guys-" Riley started.

"But you didn't," MacGyver bit back, "and now you owe someone who wants you to do something illegal and I'm going to have to bail you out, again."

Riley tried again to interrupt. "Guys, you're about to-"

"I did not ask you to bail me out of this, Angus!" Jack loudly bellowed. "I got along just fine before I met you, I can get along fine without you!"

As if responding to the sudden anger in the room, the power came back on. Along with an alarm to warn everyone left in the house that a window had been opened during the blackout.

Jack ran to the door and locked it, then stepped to the side. He cocked his sidearm and prepared to fight. MacGyver leaned over the keyboard, wishing the progress bar would go faster.

"Come on. Come on," MacGyver whispered.

The door rattled when someone tried to open it.

On the other side of the door, someone opened fire on the door. Jack turned away from the gunfire. MacGyver ducked behind the desk. A bullet struck the monitor, showering MacGyver with sparks and plastic shrapnel.

Jack started shooting as soon as the door was kicked open, and whoever was outside fired back.

"Riley, the monitor's gone," MacGyver told her. "I can't see if it's done copying or not."

"And that's why I put a little present on that drive so I could mirror the screen on my laptop. It's still copying and is at forty percent."

MacGyver smiled. "Tell us-" An enormous guard suddenly came charging around the desk and stopped, staring at MacGyver. "Aw... Hi?"

The man aimed his gun at MacGyver's head.

MacGyver grabbed the nearest object – a trashcan – and threw it at the man's face. Then he made a good attempted to tackle him, and failed impressively. The giant man didn't even step back. MacGyver stepped back to try again, which amused the giant.

Smiling giants are never a good!

The man dropped his gun and prepared for a fist fight. One that was clearly mismatched. With a war cry yell, he charged at MacGyver and threw him over the desk like a rug. MacGyver hit the floor, getting the wind knocked out of him. Before he could even grab a breath, the man was on him and pulled him up into a stranglehold. MacGyver kicked his feet and flung his arms around in an attempt to get ahold of the person. Realizing that was futile, he flopped his hands around to find anything to fight back with. When his hand found the desk lamp, he tried to hit the man over the head with it, only to discover that the electric cord didn't have enough slack. He started yanking and tugging on the lamp to free the cord from the outlet. Just as the world was starting to go dark and his ears began to ring, the plug jerked out of the outlet. He swung the lamp up and smashed it over the man's head.

MacGyver dropped to the floor, coughing and trying to catch his breath back. He could hear more gunfire and rolled over to get back to cover. The giant man unexpectedly landed on the floor right next to him, staring blankly at MacGyver while blood drained from the bullet hole in his forehead. MacGyver looked up, seeing Jack had shot the man. Another guard was on the floor just inside the door of the room, bleeding from several gunshots to the chest and throat.

Jack spun around to aim when a person ran into the room. It was the maid – a petite Venezuelan woman smaller than Riley, wearing a uniform that was rumpled and a little too small for her. She threw up her hands and began saying something that neither man understood, moving slowly into the room.

"It's okay. It's okay. Get out of here," Jack told her, motioning her to leave. He lowered his gun and turned.

MacGyver's stomach dropped when he saw the woman reach behind her and whip out a gun from the waistband of her skirt. The weapon looked gigantic in her tiny hands, but it was moving to aim at Jack's head. MacGyver leaped at Jack's legs and slammed into him with all his weight, just as the gun fired. The two rolled separate ways to take cover behind furniture. The woman shot where MacGyver had been. The bullet hit the computer, instead, sending sparks flying around the room. Jack popped around the chair he was hiding and fired back. She ducked behind a settee and returned fire.

Jack hastily switched out clips and fired back. MacGyver dodged around to the back of the desk. The computer was completely fried, but the USB looked like it was intact.

"Riley, the computer was shot."

"It was at 100% before it went down," Riley told him. "The drive should be okay. I hope."

MacGyver tried to get the flash drive out but was bit by electricity. He pulled his hand back into his shirt sleeve and yanked the drive out.

"Running out of bullets, Mac!" Jack told him. "We really need some of that eleventh-hour magic right about now!"

"Keep Annie Oakley busy just a little bit longer."

MacGyver rummaged through the desk, but he didn't find much. Standard office supplies, a couple ball point pens and a 9-volt battery. But it was enough to give him an idea.

MacGyver peeked around the desk. There was a wet bar directly across from Jack. He dashed over to Jack. Then he dashed over to the bar and grabbed a bottle of seltzer water and margarita salt. He dashed behind the desk and crouched down. He jumped to the side when two bullets came through the wood and went into the wall.

"Hurry up, Mac!" Jack yelled.

Not all seltzer water is made equal. Most of the time it doesn't have much in the way of minerals and impurities, bringing it closer to distilled water. Without minerals and impurities, however, water is the worst electrical conductor. I you dropped a hair dryer that was plugged in, into distilled water that had no impurities, and then were crazy enough to stick your hand in it, you probably wouldn't end up in the hospital, but you probably wouldn't forget it either. Drop that same hair dryer into tap water, full of minerals and impurities, and when you stuck your hand, if the shock the water was able to conduct didn't kill you, you'd likely wake up in the hospital. So I had to give this seltzer as much impurities as possible, because when I stuck a 9-volt battery in it, there wouldn't be enough of a shock in the purified water to do much. Add enough impurity to it, however, and the miniature stun bomb might shock the woman enough to drop her gun.

MacGyver uncorked the seltzer water and poured an obscene amount of salt into the water. He grabbed a rubber band from the desk and strapped the battery to the bottle. From the two pens, he pulled the springs, hastily straightened both, wrapped one around each side of the battery posts, and dropped the other ends into the water. He tested the weight of the bottle in his hand and then crouched at the edge of the desk.

"She'll be distracted for maybe thirty seconds, Jack. Make 'em count!" MacGyver called out.

"Go!"

MacGyver threw the bottle at the wall behind the woman. It shattered and sprayed water over her, along with a small electrical current. The jolt surprised her, causing her drop the gun. Jack lunged from his hiding spot, tackled her to the floor and punched her hard enough to knock her out. He got up and moved back, then looked up at MacGyver.

"I don't think she's actually a maid," Jack told him.

"Ya think?" MacGyver headed for the balcony.

"There's still the butler," Jack reminded him.

"He's gotta be in his nineties." MacGyver was already on the balcony.

"Yeah, but this little woman just pulled an Annie Oakley on us. He's bound to have his own tricks."

MacGyver stepped over the balcony railing and looked back at Jack. "Fine, stay, shoot it up. I'm leaving." MacGyver reached out, grabbed the drain pipe, and started shimmying down.

Jack jogged out to the edge of the balcony and followed. The two made their way through the back of the property to a gate. As soon as MacGyver entered the code, another alarm in the house went off. The men ran across the road into an alley. On the next street, they ran to a beat up van and climbed into the back. Riley was already behind the wheel and started driving before the back door was closed.

"Fine, stay, shoot it up?" Jack repeated. "You were going to just leave me there?"

"You don't need me, remember?"

"That's because you accused me of making you help me with this mess I'm in when I never even asked you for help."

"You will. You always do. Jack Dalton makes some crazy gamble and then expects Angus MacGyver to bail him out. You always do this to me."

"Not this time," Jack said through gritted teeth.

"You're right. Not this time!" MacGyver leaned toward him. "I am not enabling you anymore! You got yourself into this, you get yourself out. And you aren't sleeping on my couch when you end up losing your house, or your car, or the shirt on your back. It's your problem." MacGyver walked to the front and sat down in the passenger seat, crossing his arms over his chest.

Riley glanced at him a couple times but kept silent.

"Good, because I wasn't asking for your help anyway!" Jack yelled.

"Fine!"

"FINE!"

And they stopped talking to each other. Riley glanced at MacGyver, back at Jack, then watched the road. She knew better than to get in the middle of a bro-fight. For now.