A/N: I had to get this missing scene out of my head before I can continue with "Consequences". Hopefully you'll like it
Being human
He sat in the darkness.
The moonlight was creeping closer and starting to peek through the window in the attic, but for now he embraced the darkness, its heaviness, silence and comfort.
He had come back from Dr. Steiner's a minute, an hour, a week ago, Jane wasn't quite sure. After he had recounted to the emergency services what had taken place, he had taken his car, driven without a thought back to CBI, walked the dark corridors up to his attic.
It had been quiet and dark throughout the building at this time of the day, for which he was grateful.
He sat on his bed, feet firmly on the floor as if to make sure that the solidness would anchor him.
He was bowed forwards, his hands together as if they were seeking comfort in each other.
And he thought of Dr. Steiner.
XXXXXX
Lisbon sat on the sofa in her dark office. It was quiet and pleasantly peaceful and she took a moment to enjoy it. She leaned back, her eyes closed as she let her thoughts wander, but opened them as she thought she heard something.
She quietly got up from the sofa and peeked through the blinds in her office, only to see a very distracted looking Jane walk in.
Lisbon took the rare moment to observe him without him being aware and frowned in confusion.
Jane walked slowly, looking like he was miles away. His blue eyes were dark and tired, his posture stooped and his face was open for Lisbon to read and she saw sadness and grief, which really threw her off.
She watched him go straight up to the attic and made a move to go out of the office to follow him. Something wasn't right. She had never seen him this dejected, this…human.
She reached for the door handle and her phone rang.
She heard the police officer tell her about Dr. Steiner and what Jane had told them and asked for Lisbon to vouch for Jane. She automatically did and thanked the officer for the call, too deep in her thoughts to tell the officer off for doubting a consultant of the CBI.
She slowly put the phone away into her pocket and sat down on the sofa again.
The quarrel between Dr. Steiner and Jane was well known, but obviously something had changed. She couldn't imagine the reason for the doctor to ask Jane of all people to stay with him as he killed himself. Lisbon felt sorry for the doctor but at the same time she was angry at him for putting Jane in a position to be touched by death in personal capacity. Again.
She got up from the sofa and headed towards the attic.
XXXXXX
Jane was aware of the soft knocking on the door, but continued to stare at the floor, tracing the track of moonlight as it cast a play of shadow and light across the unevenness of the surface.
He was aware of someone slipping in and closing the door quietly, which made his barriers and mask automatically to start slipping into place. A faint whiff of her smell told Jane who it was and he relaxed, but didn't lift his eyes.
Lisbon walked to bed and settled on it, which left her legs to swing freely.
Jane smiled weakly at the sight to which Lisbon swatted his arm in response.
"I got a call about Dr. Steiner," Lisbon said quietly while studying Jane's profile in the shadow of the moonlight, "I'm sorry."
Jane shrugged, but didn't move otherwise. They sat next to each other in silence, Jane staring at the floor, Lisbon swinging her legs. Both glad for the company and relieved that they didn't need words to convey the gratitude.
"He knew that I knew," Jane said all of the sudden. Lisbon stayed quiet and let him talk.
"He knew that he wouldn't need to explain himself and that he wouldn't get fussed over or pitied and that is why he asked me to stay," Jane continued sadness audible in his voice.
"I didn't want to. I didn't want to stay and watch a man die," Jane whispered the sadness tinged now with anguish.
Lisbon reached down and slipped her hand in between Jane's palms and felt him squeeze her hand tightly.
"But I couldn't leave him alone. Nobody should die alone," Jane said in a thick voice, which promised tears.
Lisbon looked up from their twined hands, having been momentarily distracted by the warmness of Jane's hands and the feel of them on her skin, to see tears quietly falling from the corner of his eye.
Jane didn't let go of her hand and didn't lift his face from the floor as he silently wept.
Lisbon leaned against his side and rested her cheek on his shoulder as she reached over with her left hand to settle it on top of their hands in Jane's lap.
They sat together in the darkness as the night left them alone.
The end