A/N: This one's for you sis, hope you like. NC
IN A HEART BEAT
As the song went, the lightening flashed and the thunder rolled when Dean finally pulled into the parking lot of some no name bar no different from all the others he had sought out in his life. He glanced up at the storming skies feeling the first big drops of rain before he trotted to the entrance. He opened the door when another streak of lightening bounced across the sky silhouetting his tall, muscular frame in the doorway.
Patrons looked up when thunder echoed into the room to see who had ventured out on a night like tonight. Everyone went back to drinking or playing pool as Dean made his way to the bar. He took an empty stool at the end with his back against a wall, quickly checking out the patrons for any signs of threats. He was never one to let his guard down around strangers, it was too instilled in him to be on guard all the time.
"Sounds like you made it here just in time. Name's Sadie." a sultry female voice crooned to him as she placed a napkin in front of him and leaned closer giving a good view of her cleavage. Now this was someone she would not mind getting to know better. Oh god, be still my beating heart. "What can I get for you?" she smiled her best, hoping to get a response.
"Beer and shot of Jack." he answered giving her a once over, but showing no signs of interest.
"Comin' right up." she replied seeing the disinterest on his face and sighed, hating she was going to miss out on a hunk of a man. She was choosy who she flirted with, but this guy, man...she wished she knew his story.
A beer and shot were sat in front of him with a "Let me know if ya need anything else." before she walked away to serve another giving her bottom a little extra twitch.
Dean looked down at the amber liquid in the shot glass before picking it up and downing it in one swallow. He felt the liquor burn his throat as heat spread through his stomach and into the rest of his body. Any other time, he would have already been hitting on the female bartender, but things had changed and he was in a really bad mood. The storm raging away outside didn't help matters either. Bright light exploded through the windows as lightening struck near by and thunder followed shaking the entire building around him. He sipped his beer wondering if the storm had followed him. Seemed right, this storm was expressing about what he felt at this moment.
The lights flickered on and off several times causing everyone to look up in concern.
"Alright, hate to break the party up, but if the power goes, everyone needs to leave so I'll be shutting down." the bartender yelled out to everyone one in the room.
"You're throwing us out there in that storm?" one called back.
"Hey, sorry, look if there's a break, it might be a good idea if you head out before the next wave passes over." she suggested.
Dean tapped the bar for another shot when she looked in his direction. She gave him a closer once over while pouring another shot. His face was a mixture of so many emotions she didn't know how he was handling it as well as he was. But his eyes; those green eyes; they were haunted with such sadness and seemed to look right into your very soul. She was pretty good at reading people, but this one; he was beyond her reach, on a plane she couldn't grasp.
"Here you go." she said softly, a kind smile playing across her lips.
"Thanks." he mumbled accepting the glass.
The images he had seen played again in his mind as he watched his baby brother drink the demon's blood. Horror and disgust showed on his face as Sam looked up at him with blood still smeared crimson red across his face and lips. What had happened to his brother while he was in hell? He knew when he came back, something was different about him, but he didn't know what. He should have pushed harder to make him talk. Dean was beating himself up for not seeing it sooner. But to have him choose a damn demon over his own brother, his flesh and blood, that was the breaking point. He didn't think he could forgive Sam for that. The secrets, the lies, the deception, it was tearing him apart. He never thought the dark feelings he was having would ever be directed toward his brother, his only family he had left beside their adopted father, Bobby. He never imaged his brother could actually think what he was doing was right, was going to make a difference somehow.
Dean drew in a deep breath as he shoved, pushed and beat down those hurtful emotions and tried to close the door on them, shoving hard on the door trying to close it. He tapped again, letting Sadie know he wanted another hoping the alcohol would help him forget. He was hoping to numb his mind and maybe stop it from reliving the recent past events. He rubbed his head as a headache threatened to make itself known.
"Bad day?" she asked, trying to get a conversation going.
Dean looked up into her face before answering. "Family." he responded before downing the shot.
"Yeah, they can do that, had my share." she continued wiping the bar beside him. "If you need an ear, let me know, sometimes it helps to talk about it."
Dean didn't respond as she turned to serve another customer not really waiting for him to answer. He took at long swallow of his beer before letting his mind drift back over past events; events he really wanted to wipe from his memory. Anger and rage began to boil again in his stomach making him grimace in pain. He clenched his fist still feeling the soreness from when he had let his rage out and beat his brother to the floor. He knew without a shadow of a doubt if he had stayed, he would have killed him. He would of taken a knife or gun and ended his life without hesitation. Sam was becoming something he couldn't comprehend, a monster in every sense of the word. It took every ounce of strength he had to not end his brother's life then and there.
These emotions were clashing with the ingrained need to protect his brother. From the day he was brought home from the hospital, he had made it his job to watch out for his baby brother. It became so much more intense and urgent after their mother had died in the fire. He had been his brother's protector from then on. No one messed with Sammy and got away with it, not even their Dad. Dean had devoted himself to his brother, being sure he had what he needed and guarded him from that that could harm him. To have Sam turn against him like he did almost destroyed him. His heart was crushed and his soul shattered. No amount of comfort or 'sorries' was going to put it back together again. His life would never be what it once was. He thought he knew his destiny, his fate, but now his world had been turned upside down.
"Hey, storms letting up." someone called back into the room from his visage at the door. "Better head out while we can."
The other patrons mumbled to themselves, but finished their beer or liquor and got up shuffling toward the door and their vehicles. A few threw a wave or good-bye to Sadie as she came from around the bar to gather up empties.
"Be safe out there." she called to them taking a tray of empties to the trash can.
Thunder could be heard circling around the area and doubling back as the last of the patrons left. Sadie looked over at the guy at the end of the bar seeing he had not moved. She continued her cleaning giving him a quick glance every few seconds. An uneasy feeling began to sweep over her while she wiped the tables. Could this guy be a rapist or killer and she was in here by herself now, with no one to help her. She had a hand gun under the bar, but could she get to it before he got to her?
Trying to be inconspicuous, she took some glasses to the back of the bar to wash, easing closer to the hidden gun.
"I won't hurt you Sadie, no need for that gun." a deep voice cut through the silence of the bar.
"What makes you think..."
"I can smell fear and you reek of it, besides what good bartender doesn't have a gun in case it's needed." he interrupted her. "I'll finish my beer and be on my way."
"You can stay for a bit. That is if you want." she suggested quietly feeling the fear and distrust leave her body. She believed him when he said he wouldn't hurt her, she wasn't sure why, but he didn't seem like a man with harm on his mind, more like a man that was tortured from some past events.
"Sadie, if this had been another time, I would of jumped at the chance to get to know you better." Dean started, looking up at her. "But in my state of mind right now, I'm not the company you want."
"My loss I'm sure. You don't seem like a bad guy, just troubled."
"You could say that." Dean responded while digging his ringing cell from his jacket pocket. He looked at the caller name and ignored the call stuffing it back into his pocket.
"Family?" she questioned.
"In a manner of speaking."
A streak of lightening etched its way across the sky trying to continue its journey to the ground nearby as thunder began to build again rattling a few glasses. Sadie looked up toward the ceiling wondering how long this storm was going to hang around. She sure didn't want to drive in it and she hated trying to sleep on the cot in back, it was uncomfortable as hell.
"Better hurry up so you can beat the storm." Dean told her before swallowing his last bit of beer and standing up. He fished around in his pocket for some bills.
"Hey, on the house, my treat."
"Need to at least leave a tip." he surmised sticking a folded ten under his glass.
"Come back some time when you know, get things figured out."
"I just might do that, Sa-die." he drawled taking his time with her name.
With a nod of his head, he sauntered toward the waiting door and out of her life without a look back. She sighed sadly, wondering if he would get things figured out and maybe one day he would again wander back into her little bar for a beer and a shot of Jack.
The annoying ringing of his cell started again as he dropped into the seat of the Impala. He looked at the caller id and frowned when it read St James Hospital. Opening the phone he punched talk and spoke into it.
"Hello."
"Hello, I'm with St James Hospital in Lawton, Oklahoma." a female voice said. "I'm trying to reach family for a Stan Wilson."
Dean thought for a moment before answering finally remembering that was an alias Sam had used years ago.
"Hello are you there?"
"Yes, I'm a relative." he got out finally.
"Good, I've been trying to reach some one for a couple of days. There was an accident and Mr. Wilson was injured. There are some decisions that need to be made; can you come to the hospital as soon as possible?"
"Is he alive?" Dean questioned as his stomach twisted in knots.
There was a moment's hesitation from the other end of the phone line before she answered. "Yes."
Dean didn't like the tone of her voice with that one word and spoke quickly. "I'm on my way, but I'm like probably seven hours away."
"Please hurry." she urged.
"I will." he said tossing the phone in the passenger seat and starting the car. He backed out of the parking space and gunned it kicking gravel around the tires when they finally took hold rocketing the car from the lot and onto the highway.
Dean wasted no time pressing the gas pedal to the floor making his Baby fly down the road toward Oklahoma and his brother. He was glad to be heading out of the storm that was still stirring in the Heavens and that it was night and not many cars were on the back roads. He made good time stopping only once to gas up, hit the head and grab some caffeine before speeding away.
spn
The hospital loomed in front of him as the first light of a new day was dawning. Dean pulled into a parking space and headed for the front entrance. Automatic doors opened into a large room that had chairs and couches on one side and a small gift shop on the other. Directly ahead of him was a desk with an information sign hanging over it.
"I got a call my brother was here, he was in an accident."
"His name?"
"Sam.. I mean Stan Wilson." he corrected himself as he watched her type quickly on the keyboard in front of her.
"He's in ICU on the fourth floor. You can take that elevator behind the desk sir."
"Thanks." Dean answered heading for the elevators. He waited impatiently for the car to return to the ground floor.
The fourth floor was quiet and soft light glowed from offset lighting. He looked up at the signs and found one for ICU pointing right. He followed the trail of blue arrows around the corner and to another desk that was empty. Looking around, he spotted a sign that said, press for nurse. Once he pressed the button, he stood back waiting at the double door for someone to come out.
A young woman dressed in scrubs came out to meet him.
"May I help you?"
"My brother, I was told he was in ICU, I just got here."
"His name?"
"Stan Wilson, can I see him?"
"Visiting hours doesn't start until 9am."
"I just drove seven hours to get here, whoever called me sounded like it was serious, please can you make an exception? I really need to see him." he pleaded with her.
The nurse knew how serious Mr. Wilson's condition was and smiled in sympathy at him. She couldn't in good conscious deny him seeing his brother. He was going to have to make some very difficult decisions regarding his brother and he should have what ever time he had to be with him.
"Alright, but you have to be quiet." she nodded swiping her badge over a reader. The doors swung silently open allowing them entrance into the ward. "He's here in room 7." she whispered stopping at the first room on the left.
"Thanks."
"If you need anything, ring for me." she told him heading down to the nurse's station.
Dean stilled himself before slowly walking into the sterile room loaded with all kinds of equipment spitting out readings on his brother. He moved closer to the bed and looked at the damaged body of his brother grabbing the bedrail for support as his legs suddenly felt like rubber. He could not believe that the bandaged and cast covered body lying in the bed was his brother. His head was wrapped in gauze with sprigs of hair sticking out around it.
A ventilator was hissing as it made his brother's chest rise up and down with each hiss. He hated those things with a passion having been on one more than he wanted to admit. A blood pressure cuff automatically began to pump up as his BP was taken.
"Sammy." Dean whispered laying a hand on an un-bandaged part of his arm. "What happened to you bro?"
Dean stood by Sam's bed swallowing back the urge to scream at the top of his lungs. He gripped the rail so tightly his fingers were turning white. He wanted to release the pent up, primal need to destroy something, because of his helpless feelings. His vision blurred with unshed tears as he forced himself to continue to look at his little brother. A single tear tracked its way down his cheek to drip unabated onto Sam's face as he leaned over to whisper into his ear.
"Damn it Sammy, this wasn't how you were suppose to go out, an accident of all things. How are we supposed to make things right between us now? Can you hear me little brother, you can't leave yet." he choked out stopping the sob from coming out as he let the tears flow slowly down his face. He stood by the bed in tormented silence for fifteen minutes before his senses told him someone was behind him.
"Mr. Wilson?" a male voice asked from the doorway.
Dean wiped an arm across his face before turning toward what he assumed was a doctor standing there. Dean cleared his throat and straightened up before answering.
"It's Winchester, Dean Winchester."
"I'm Dr. Russell; Mr. Wilson's attending doctor, could we talk?"
"Yes." Dean said following the doctor to a small room below his brothers.
"Please sit. I'm sure you've got questions."
"What happened?"
"There was a major car pile up just north of here. I think twenty or more vehicles were involved; unfortunately your brother was caught in the worse of it. His heart stopped twice in surgery and I'm sorry to inform you, there's been no brain activity since this morning. We tried to find any family when he was brought in; luckily we finally got in touch with you. Mr. Winchester, the only thing keeping your brother alive is the ventilator. I can tell you he didn't suffer, he never gained consciousness. It'll be your decision how long we keep him on it."
Dean was staring down at his hands that were clutched tightly in his lap. He was trying to digest everything the doctor was saying but the only thing that stuck was Sam was gone, he wasn't coming back. In a heart beat his brother's life was lost; in a heart beat his life was changed forever; in a heart beat the betrayal didn't seem to matter; in a heart beat he died too.
The End