**AN: Hey, so this little baby took way too long to write, and I'm proud that it's finally done! I just wanted to use this AN to thank the best beta in the world Samm (AKA ILiveFearliss) she is AMAZING! -Thanks so much for all your help Samm This one is for you.-
Also, if you liked this story, or didn't, there's a little button down at the bottom of the page to review. Please click on it and tell me what you thought. Please. I'll send you virtual cupcakes if you do. ;)**
Disclaimer: Last time I checked Castle wasn't mine. Damn.
Everyone has a breaking point. For everything. So far, he had managed to thwart his breaking point. He had gotten close, oh so very close, seeing her fall to the ground with a bullet in her heart had brought him close. Yes, very close. But he was stronger than one would've thought. He had managed to keep himself together, for her. Managed to keep his family safe for his beautiful redheaded family. Managed to stay with the love of his life, even as his life sank deeper and deeper into hole he couldn't climb out of. He thought he was fine. His friends knew better. Except for her. She was the shovel digging him deeper, but both were too oblivious to realize it. As good as he had been at staying away from his breaking point, he was about to come face to face with it. And she wouldn't be there, spurring him on. She wouldn't be there to comfort and console him. She wouldn't be there to hold him. She is the reason he's stayed. And she will be the reason he will leave. Leave a broken man with a hole in his heart that can't be filled.
Rick sat in front of his computer. The blank word document filling his screen, mocking him. His writers block was back. The only thing that he knew for sure was that this would be the final Nikki Heat. But how could he end it? Killing Nikki like he had Derrik was out of the question. Nikki was too much like Beckett, no matter how much either of them denied it. It would be like putting a bullet through his heart. No, Nikki couldn't die. But what? What could he do to end such a major chapter of his life? Nikki Heat, and by extension of that, everyone at the 12th, was over three years of his life. A simple happily ever after wouldn't work. Especially when there was a hole in his heart caused by the inspiration of Nikki Heat. In his depression since his departure from the 12th Rick had entertained many morbid thoughts. For the first time in his life, death was on his mind almost daily. The extreme morbid thoughts were contained to his writing, for his mother and Alexis' sake. But as soon as he stepped into his office death would pop into his mind before he could even get a thought down for Nikki Heat.
He knew there would be a death in Final Heat. It seemed to be the only thing he could write down, but whom? Whom should he kill? And the thought came to him in a sudden burst of insight. If he couldn't kill Nikki, why not kill Rook? Killing Rook would be the perfect way to end it. Rook would save Nikki one last time. His final act. It wouldn't be for glory or recognition, he would do it to save his love. So she could have the chance to move on. To heal. It would be the end of Nikki and Rook, and in a way, Castle and Kate. Castle could never die now, he had a family to care about. Rook though, Rook was fictional Castle. Rook would be the release that Rick has been looking for.
And so Castle wrote. He wrote and wrote and wrote. Now that he knew the end, the finale, the story flew together. He wrote an entire novel in under two weeks. He rarely slept or ate. Only when Martha or Alexis forced him to. Never had they seen him like this.
Their footsteps fell in sync like they always did. Nikki set the pace and Rook followed, the only sounds above their labored breathing being the sound of Nikki's four inch heels on the sidewalk and the frenzied breathing of the man they were chasing. They turned the corner and found themselves in an alley. The man was breathing hard, gasping for air, but he was still diligent. He was sure to keep the gun he held trained on Nikki and Rook.
"C'mon Adam, put the gun down. You don't need to do this, I can get you help," Nikki said while slowly walking toward the man.
"NO! You don't understand. You just don't understand. I did what I had to do. Just like I'm going to now," he replied.
Rook saw him slightly raise the barrel of the gun so it was in line with Nikki's chest. He saw Adam take a deep breath, and . . .
"Nikki! No!" Rook screamed, jumping in front of her.
Rook was on the ground before Nikki could react. Then without thinking, she shot the man as he tried to run away.
"Rook! Rook! ROOK! Jameson, please, please, No. NO!" Nikki was sobbing as she tried to stop the flow of blood from the hole in Rooks chest, right above his heart.
"You're not leaving me, you can't do this to me Rook, c'mon babe, c'mon!" Nikki was pleading with him.
Rook looked up at Nikki. Struggling to speak, he said:
"Love…y…you N..N..Nikki. Don't…g…g..g..grieve. Ne…never.. forget…me..pl…please. But..but move…move on."
"Rook, no, don't leave me. I LOVE YOU! Don't leave me! You can't do this to me you bastard!"
But it was too late. Rook had gone slack, those beautiful eyes dull and lifeless. Nikki dropped her head and sobbed. Sobbed for the life that was lost for her. Sobbed for her love.
It had been two months since he had finished Final Heat. Two months since he had seen Kate. Two months of an emptiness barely filled by his mother and daughter.
Rick strode into the 12th, his heart beating in his chest. Sure, he had kept in touch with Ryan and Esposito, they had to keep in touch for the sake of Kate's mom's case, but entering into the building that for three plus years had been a second home was an odd feeling. It felt just as familiar, but it wasn't the same. The place felt foreign, and it was uncomfortable.
Steeling his nerves he walked to the elevators and pushed the button that would take him to see her. In the short ride, Rick worked on slowing down his erratic heartbeat and putting on a composed face. The elevator door dinged, and he stepped into the bullpen.
It was how he had left it. Seeing it brought back many memories, and he paused, reflecting on the many things flitting through his head. Seconds later, he shook his head and continued down the familiar hallway toward her desk. She was bent over, like usual, working on paperwork. The whiteboard was blank, they must've been in between cases. Steeling his nerves one last time, he walked up to her desk like he had so many times before.
"Didn't anybody ever tell you that that position is bad for your back? You should try and sit straighter," Rick said to the back of her head.
Her head shot up, eyes wide as she took in the appearance of the man before her. It was him. Still the ruggedly handsome author she had known, yet he was different. He had lost probably close to 20 pounds. But her eyes took in the gaunt look of his face, the bags under his eyes, and realized it wasn't from working out. It was from working too hard. He looked like he could use about three more hours of sleep a night. Yet what caught her attention the most were his eyes. Those crystal blue eyes that had once held a twinkle that was hard to get rid of. Once glance would hold countless promises and hopes, desires and dreams. Now they were different. They held a sadness that hadn't been there previously. The held an age and maturity that had been lacking. The change unnerved her.
"Maybe I decided not to listen," she said after a very pregnant pause. Then:
"I've missed you."
"I've missed you too Beckett. Very much," his reply was carefully guarded though, she could tell he was choosing his words carefully.
"So why are you here? Not that it isn't nice to see you, but you haven't been here in months."
"Just wanted to give you an advanced copy of Final Heat. I thought that the inspiration behind Nikki should have an early chance to read the finale." He said with a smile.
"Thanks Castle, you didn't have to." She said, smiling.
"My pleasure detective. Now I must run, I left Martha at the house alone with some of her friends. Never a good sign." He said, grimacing slightly.
"Ooo, yeah, you should probably get back then," she said laughing. "Thanks again Castle."
"Of course, Beckett. Say hi to everyone for me, please."
"Sure Castle. Bye."
"Until next time, Detective."
And Rick Castle left. He left the precinct one last time. He left behind one more chapter of his life. One he would never fully complete.
Back at the precinct Beckett had opened up the book and a note had fallen out. Setting it aside for just a moment while she glanced at the dedication.
As this is the last Nikki Heat novel, this is dedicated to everyone who helped along the way.
To Roy:
For securing my position. For directing us along the way.
Thank you. May you rest in peace.
To Ryan:
For being one of the toughest cops I know. For being there with me through the times of Tyson.
For showing all of us pure love once more through Jenny.
Thank You.
To Esposito:
For being there for all of us. Your strength was invaluable.
For understanding when no one else could.
Thank you.
To Lanie:
For your humour and sass. For your indispensible skills. For being there when we needed a girls point of view.
Thank you.
And finally, to Beckett.
Always.
Thank You.
-RC
Kate felt tears begin to well up in her eyes. This was more than anyone at the 12th could ask for. Beautiful, concise. And with the promise of always lurking in the back of her mind, she opened up the note she had set aside.
In it, written in the elegant script she had learned so well over the past three years, it said:
Dear Kate,
So many things I want to say right now. So many things we left unsaid. There are plenty of things in my life I regret, but meeting you is not one of them.
You showed me true strength. You showed me the value of perseverance. You showed me how to love again.
Yes, how to love.
Because if I hadn't met you, I'd probably still be that playboy author you knew when we first met.
Still the 9 year old on a sugar rush (yes, I know about that. I can be very sneaky when I want to be.) You've aged me, aged me in ways that never would've happened without you. You were what I needed to mature.
You were a godsend from heaven.
And I can only thank you for what you have given me.
You gave me what I needed to start a new chapter in my life, although the one containing you and everyone else at the precinct won't ever be fully written.
Not until Esposito and Lanie get their act together.
Not until Ryan and Jenny are settled in.
Not until Iron Gates loosens up a bit.
Not until you and Alexis stop talking (I know about that too. Don't stop, please, it's good for her to have a responsible and mature mother/sister figure. If you don't mind me calling you one.
And,
Not until you, Kate, have closure.
Once you read the end of the book, you'll understand.
What Rook did, I would do.
In a heartbeat.
Which is why,
I have to move on.
So, one final time, before I go, and am gone from your life,
I love you.
Always,
RC
Kate looked up from the note and sighed. Rick was gone, she had chased him away. Her own actions had caused him immeasurable grief. She knew the hole in her heart, was nothing compared to the chasm of his.
Later that night, after flying through the pages of Final Heat, Kate looked up. The words from the note Castle had given her, reverberated through her mind. What Rook did, I would do. In a heartbeat.
"He truly was in love with me," she thought, "as if I ever had any doubts."
Closing the book, she looked out her window at the vast New York skyline. She held a man's heart, and she knew, one day, after time had soothed their grief, had filled the holes in their hearts, they would be together.
But for now, she would stand alone.
**Once again, review please! PRETTY PLEASE WITH CHERRIES ON TOP! I'll find a way to get those cupcakes to you! I promise!**