Just a short, drabbly little piece. This was inspired by the song "About Rain" by Sequoyah Prep School. It's pretty angsty and depressing, and has probably been done plenty of times before. This was just something I felt like doing. Enjoy! :)
I hope you like dancing in rain.
I'll spin you around and pull you back to me.
I sure am glad you wore that dress,
it reminds me of the night that we first met.
Two months. It had only been two months since Marissa had ceased to exist. Had stopped living. In those sixty days, Ryan hadn't been able to function. His soul had been shattered. He had been physically hurt plenty of times in his life. That was the price you paid for growing up in Chino. Nothing compared to this. None of the punches and bruises he had suffered compared to this. The dull void in his heart, in his being, left by her passing.
He could still feel the presence of her limp, lifeless body in his arms as he carried her from the flaming car. The car his mother had bought him as a graduation gift. Graduation. Marissa didn't even make it one day past graduating high school. Sure, she had her problems. Shoplifting. Volchok. Alex. Drinking. Drugs.
None of that made her deserve this. Everyone around him was suffering. Julie was one flew over the cuckoo's nest. Kaitlin was having to take care of her. Summer wasn't talking to Seth. Seth, was, well, Seth. Even he couldn't bring himself to make light of the situation. No joke would make Ryan laugh right now. Seth understood that.
Don't you love the evenings in July,
when I'm staring at you with my blue eyes?
And we could be fine.
We could be fine, fine, fine.
Ryan remembered every detail of every moment he had spent with her. The sound of her melodic voice, the feel of her soft skin against his rugged hands. He remembered it all. She had been wearing a white shirt and jeans the first time they had spoke.
"Who are you?"
"Whoever you want be to me."
Every memory of her made him smile. He had in his mind the moments in her life where she had been herself, when she had been happy. His memory of choice was dancing with her to their song. Forever Young.
He let out a bitter laugh at the irony of the song. Marissa never had the opportunity to be anything but young. She would always be remembered as being eighteen. She would be forever young. This hurt was eating him alive. If he didn't stop it somehow, he might be seen as weak. He couldn't be weak. He had to stay strong for her. He moved over towards the right side of the pool house, dragging out his punching bag.
She had left him. She had left him on the earth alone. Through all the angst, all the tragedy of their "epic" romance, it was never supposed to end this way. She was never supposed to... she just didn't deserve it. Any of it. She would never get the chance to get married, to get a job, to have children, to grow old. To live.
Trying to drown away the haunting memories of a love gone wrong, he began to connect his fist to the punching bag. After hours of torturing himself, his hands began to shake and became raw and bloody. He couldn't even feel it. All he could feel was her. The memories just kept coming to him like flashbacks. One at a time. Each one more depressing than the next.
As he was furiously trying erase the image of her from his brain, the image of her dancing, the image of her standing at the end of her driveway. The image of him carrying her from the car, from the alleyway in Tijuana. From her driveway to the pool house, the night they had first met. In the midst of his unrepressed anger towards God, towards himself, towards her, he began to cry.
It wasn't supposed to end this way.
I hope you like dancing in rain.
I'll spin you around and pull you back to me.
I sure am glad you wore that dress,
it reminds me of the night that we first met.