Ranma's Wonderful Life – Chapter 1 – I'd Rather Be Dead
Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and all characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. This story was written in fun, and is not being used to make money in any way.
WARNING: This story contains Male/Male and Female/Female relationships and descriptions of acts related to such. It also discusses rape and murder. Do not read if this may bother you.
Ranma's throat was aching from the heavy breathing, but he hardly noticed. His muscles ached all over, but he hardly cared. Blood dripped from a three-inch gash across his forehead, but he had stopped bothering to wipe it away long ago. Right now his concentration was elsewhere. Precisely, on the blade hovering about 3 millimeters away from his jugular and the wrinkled hag standing on his chest. "Are you sure about this, son- in-law?" The woman looked rather astonished, but her look softened as he collapsed in exhaustion.
"Yes, life is really just too much for me; too many fiancées, too many enemies. I even wish none of it had ever happened!" He sat up to scream at her, knocking her to the ground, but wearily settled back, covering his face with his hands. "Just do it quickly, please, I hurt pretty bad." Cologne only chuckled and nodded, pulling a small bottle out of a deep shadow in her clothes.
"Alright son-in-law, but remember to call for me when you're ready for me to remove this."
"Remove death?" Ranma peered at her through his fingers.
She chuckled. "No, not death, you can't marry Shampoo if you're dead, besides, this should prove worse to you. I'll remove it when you'll agree to marry Shampoo immediately." And with an evil laugh, she threw the bottle to his feet, smashing it into a hundred pieces and releasing a dark purple powder into the air. The cloud of powder grew and the wind picked it up and swirled around Ranma. He felt the ground dropping away from him. His body turned over and twisted around while something deep inside him was wrenched away by an ethereal pair of hands. His body went limp for a moment before he dropped harshly to the ground.
"OW! That hurt, you ghoul!" He yelped and jumped to his feet, lunging at where the woman had been before, but coming up empty handed. "Where'd ya go Cologne?!? Too chicken to actually kill me?!? Come back and I'll get you!" He looked around but saw no one except a puzzled looking passerby whose gaze he met briefly before she quickened her pace in the opposite direction. Ranma began to run, not sure where he was headed, but it didn't seem to matter, he stopped quickly when he discovered that his body no longer ached. The blood from his forehead no longer stained his fingertips.
Dark clouds began to move above him, and tiny droplets of rain began to fall around him. He decided to see if Cologne had retreated to her restaurant. He ran fast, fearing the oncoming rainstorm, but found he didn't tire. When he reached the Nekohanten, he pushed the door to slam it open-battle aura glowing fiercely-but it didn't budge, and he slammed himself hard on the glass panels. He paused and read the previously unseen sign that read "Closed for good due to lack of help. Signed, Cologne" in large lettering.
This shook Ranma considerably. "They were doing well yesterday—and what about Shampoo and Mousse?! Those baka! What'd they do this time? Why didn't Cologne mention something earlier?"
The rain was coming down in sheets now, and showed little sign of slowing soon, so Ranma trudged home, female form revealing itself before he took even a few steps. By the time the Tendo Dojo was finally in sight, he had decided it would be best to go to the bathroom and simply splash himself back to male form quickly and get into bed.
He entered the house, dripping, and sulked past the dining room, where Soun, Nabiki and Kasumi were drinking tea and chatting, laughing and smiling until they saw Ranma, when they paused to stare at him. Ranma kept his eyes on the floor and kept going.
When he passed, Nabiki turned back to the other two and asked, "Who was that?"
"I don't know," Soun replied, "but it looks like our little Akane has two of them now," and started crying.
Ranma slipped into the bathroom quickly and removed his shirt to dunk his head into the warm bath. It felt good to be in his own skin again and he knew he would sleep well tonight. He crossed to his room, noticing the light on-he was sure it'd been left off-through the crack under the door. He panicked, sure someone had been or was in his room. He pushed the door open and his first reaction to what he saw in front of him was "Shampoo! Get off of her!!! Stop strangling Akane!"
It was then that he began to notice things. The decoration of the room was distinctively not as he'd left it. The futon he usually slept on was now a bed with Chinese patterned red silk sheets. More obviously was that the two girls on top of it were completely naked, and Shampoo's hands were not around Akane's neck as he'd originally thought, but cupped firmly on her breasts. Akane hadn't been struggling either; her noises were shrieks and moans of pleasure.
Both girls screamed at once. Akane jumped up and clutched the sheets around her, knocking Shampoo to the floor. "Hentai!" She screamed and struggled to cover her body.
"What strange boy do in Shampoo room?" The still naked one sprawled on the floor demanded as she stood up and pounced on him, knocking him into the wall before sprinting into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
Akane looked seriously frightened by now. "Who are you? How do you know my name? What are you doing here? What gives you the right to break in on my girlfriend and I like that?" The questions flooded Ranma, but he stopped her at this one.
"GIRLFRIEND? SHAMPOO? YOU?" He nearly fainted, but managed to hold himself up-barely. "I knew you were a tomboy, but this is something else! What happened to our engagement?"
"*Our* engagement? I don't know who you are or what you're talking about! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!" She charged at him and pushed him down the hallway, banging his head against the wall by the stairs. Ranma lost consciousness and fell to the floor.
The three downstairs heard the cacophony above and came running at once. Shampoo peeked out of the bathroom, now covered by a towel. Soun started crying as he said, "My little Akane! First Shampoo, I've come to accept that, but the red-haired girl and now this boy?!? All in one night?!?" The sobs came quickly now.
"Daddy, I don't know this boy!" she asserted.
"And we no see red hair girl!" interjected Shampoo. "Shampoo no like red hair." She sneered and stuck her tongue out, crossed her arms and turned her back in defiance.
"Then where'd she go?" Everybody looked around in the bedrooms and downstairs, but the girl they were seeking was nowhere to be found. Kasumi got a damp cloth to try to revive the strange half-naked boy and propped him up so he was no longer at risk of falling down the stairs. After Akane and Shampoo had redressed, the three of them moved Ranma to Kasumi's bed to await his awakening and question him properly.
He awoke eventually and sat up, holding the place on his head that had been hit. "What's going on?" he finally croaked out.
"Why don't YOU tell US, you pervert!" Akane confronted him.
"What do you mean? I was just coming home to go to sleep, and you two were getting it on in what should have been my bed!" His head began to hurt further trying to comprehend what was happening.
"Home? Your bed? Hey, are you the kid who was going to move in with the neighbors? You must just have the wrong house!" Akane smiled for the first time since Ranma had walked in.
"NO! I - LIVE - HERE!" He tried to spell it out to them slowly, but they still stared at him blankly. "Don't you know me? This isn't funny. It's me-Ranma, Ranma Saotome!"
Soun smiled, "Saotome? As in Genma Saotome?!?"
"Yeah, that's my pop. Where is he anyway?"
"I haven't seen Genma in years. Not since he gave up on producing a male heir. He never succeeded in having a son to carry on my Dojo. How could you be the son of a man who's never had kids?!?"
"What do you mean he's never had kids?!? I'm here!" Ranma jumped up and grabbed Soun's collar to shake him.
Soun threw Ranma across the room for that. "HE NEVER HAD KIDS! Get out of my house, you liar! You pervert! Trespasser!" Soun ran over to him and threw him out the window, landing him in the pond in the back yard, and changing him back into female form. His shirt shortly followed him out of the window before it was shut and locked along with the rest of the house.
The rain was pouring very hard now and, except for the staggered streetlights, it was getting very dark. Ranma didn't know where to go. He couldn't figure out why the Tendos would play such an elaborate joke on him. He pulled his shirt back on and trudged down the street. He resolved to go to Ukyo's house. She didn't seem to be the sort who would joke around like this-and he could get a good meal out of the trip. It took him a long time to get there because he was exhausted and didn't want to run. When the restaurant front was vaguely in sight, his spirit was lifted for a while. He could almost taste the okonomiyaki already and began to run. He blindly entered and sat down at the counter. "Give me one with everything! No, make that 10, U-Chan!"
"U-Chan?" The burly man behind the counter slowly turned around, a large fish in his hands.
"Err" Ranma slowly turned around and ran out of the restaurant, turning to check the sign above the door. It read "Mr. Tanaka's Sushi Restaurant." 'Ok' Ranma thought to himself, 'Now things are getting a little weird. Did I miss something?' He sat down with his back against the front wall of the restaurant, under the awning to protect himself from the rain. He was so exhausted by this point that he had barely managed to rest his head on his knees before he fell soundly asleep.
As Ranma slept, visions of that day ran through his head. The purple smoke surrounded him once again. The pain of the fall almost hurt him for the second time. Cologne's voice saying, "remember to call for me when you're ready for me to remove this" rang through his head over and over again. He awoke to the sound of running footsteps. He opened his eyes and the sound stopped.
He heard Akane's mumbling voice, "I'm going to be late but…" And he sat up to stretch and rub his eyes. "Excuse me, who are you? Don't you need to get to school?" She sounded much sweeter and cheerier than last they spoke.
"I'm uhh" He looked down at himself, remembering the rain the night before. "Ranko" He finally replied, since she obviously didn't recognize his female half. He thought he'd play along and be nice, since his stomach was churning audibly by now. He took Akane's hand when she offered it to help him stand, but she didn't let go once he reached his feet. She chatted about various things as she led him along, discussing the weather and bragging about her skills in martial arts. When they arrived at Furinkan High School, a small swarm of boys waited to "greet" her. 'I thought they had all cut this out months ago. What're these few still doing here? At least Kuno's not around to see me like this.'
When the boys began to charge, Akane knocked the first one to the ground and shouted, "I've already told you, I'm not interested in any of you! Look! This is my new girlfriend, Ranko!" And with that she pushed a startled Ranma in front of her, plowing through the baffled and saddened crowd.
Once they made it through the front doors, Ranma regained his composure and stopped to turn around. "Akane!" And remembering her forgetfulness, "Didn't we just meet?"
She giggled, "Sorry about that, it was all I could think of to get through to them. I admire their persistence, but" She looked out through the glass at the small herd consoling each other, "Guys just give me the creeps. What girl could want to marry one after having a father like mine? And what Tatewaki Kuno did to me" She trailed off and sighed and stared at her feet. "I hope I'm not scaring you… I like you a lot." Ranma startled. "No… heh heh, I mean, like a good friend. I feel like I've known you a long time." She smiled before realizing the time and excused herself to run off to class.
Ranma shuddered inside to think Akane liked him this way. Though she did act the same when they first met with him being a she. He resolved to leave her in the dark for a while; at least it would temporarily save his head-mentally and physically-from pain.
He now was stuck with what to do for the day. He was running out of places to go. He couldn't go home—Soun, Nabiki and Kasumi had seen him in both forms. Ukyo was nowhere to be found. Who knows how Shampoo would react to seeing him like this. 'She's much smarter than most people think she is,' He thought to himself, 'Akane didn't catch on, but then again, she never saw that P-Chan and Ryoga were the same.' Then it hit him, 'Ryoga! Maybe he still knows me!' But first, besides knowing how impossible it was to find the boy, he wanted to know what his new curse really entailed. "COLOGNE?!?" He shouted at the top of his lungs, attracting some strange looks from the people on the street in front of the high school.
As he expected, a swirl of a familiar-looking purple smoke dropped the old woman gracefully to the ground. "Ah, I knew you'd crack quickly. Ready to marry Shampoo?"
Ranma laughed. "Hell no. I just want to know what's happened to me?"
"Well, that's simple; I thought a bright boy like you would catch on sooner. The powder I used on you was made up of the ashes of forget-me-nots and 11 other herbs and spices-a secret Amazon warrior trick that's been banned for centuries, but I found the recipe and knew it would do just the trick to shatter your humongous ego. You've been un-born. Nobody's lives have been affected by your existence. Nobody knows you. If you're not careful, the friendships you've worked hard to make could turn into deep hatred. I'll let you out now, or I'll check on you in a week, if you last that long. Either way, I know you'll agree to marry Shampoo." She smirked.
Feeling a bit doubtful, but much more mischievous, Ranma declined the offer with a bow and a wave. "Suit yourself, son-in-law!" Cologne disappeared much like she had arrived, but in reverse.
Ranma had already determined to seek out Ryoga next, but the poor boy's sense of direction apparently had led him far away from Nerima. He mentally made a to-do list in his mind. First off, he would test Shampoo; he'd have to confront her eventually.
He found her easily enough, sunbathing by the pond in the Tendos' yard. He wasn't certain how to confront her at first, but settled on a friendly "Hello".
"Nihao." She looked up and smiled. "Can Shampoo help you? Shampoo no see you before." Ranma stammered for an answer. He really hadn't thought this plan through. Shampoo strained to look at him and finally resolved to push he sunglasses down her nose to get a better look. In doing this, she got a good look at the color of this strange girl's hair and made the connection. "You were girl here last night!" She shrieked and tried to land a punch to the jaw. "Trespasser!"
Her hit missed by a lot and Ranma's reflexes returned the hit squarely to the stomach, sending Shampoo into the pool behind her. The cold water quickly exchanged cat for girl and Ranma reeled back in fear. Then he realized he wasn't really scared, only panicking in fear of being afraid. The cat in front of him posed no threat, his father had never treated him to the torture he had endured in the other life, the memory of it seemed to be centuries away. He was filled with immense joy. He ran up and hugged the cat to the chest and carried it in the house and into the kitchen, happy to see that Kasumi wasn't around. He boiled some water and poured it over the cat, returning her to human form.
"Oh, I'm so happy I could kiss you!" Ranma squealed, eyes sparkling. The girl on the counter looked at her very oddly.
"Please no. Shampoo no like girls with red hairs. Is ugly." Ranma sneered. "What you want with Shampoo? Talk fast, or Shampoo kick you out of house."
Ranma thought fast. "Just tell me, why do you change into a cat?" He was puzzled by how she would have ended up in jusenkyo without his influence.
"Great grandmother Cologne defeat Shampoo at magical spring Jusenkyo because Shampoo no get husband. Shampoo now defy great grandmother and run away. Shampoo now no want husband. Girls nicer to Shampoo. Mousse creepy. Mousse obsessed stalker. Happosai creepy too. Happosai steal Shampoo panties and Shampoo kill Happosai. All other men just want Shampoo body." Ranma laughed uncomfortably and breathed an internal sigh of relief and Shampoo smiled before she caught herself and gave him an evil look. "Red Haired Girl leave Tendo house now or Shampoo kill her too."
"Alright. If you want me gone, I'll leave. Thanks for the info." He waved, grabbed an apple off of the counter, and let himself out, whistling a happy tune at the thought of his biggest fear gone. He even stooped to pet a stray as he walked back to Furinkan.
He sat himself down against one of the trees in the yard and took a contented, although hungry, nap until the afternoon school bell rang. He sat up and stretched and watched his former schoolmates run past, eager to get to their individual destinations.
Akane came out soon, fuming, pushing guys away as she walked. She smiled and began to run once she saw Ranma, obviously eager to talk to her. As she was about to start speaking, she stopped and blushed. She opened her mouth to speak again, but stopped again, apparently trying to decide what to say. "Hi," she finally managed to get out.
"Hey, Akane. How was school?" Ranma didn't move from his comfortable spot under the tree until Akane offered him a hand.
"Not too good, really. It never is. I don't understand why showing them a girlfriend finally worked, they've known I've had them for a long time now. Shampoo's the first one it's gotten serious with, but she kinda annoys me. I love her, but I need a change of pace sometimes, you know what I mean?" She stepped close towards Ranma, looking up at her with seductive puppy dog eyes.
Ranma sweatdropped and took a step back. "Akane, heh, I'm… uhh… sorry to hear that." He searched for a way to get her off of him. "Maybe you should go out to clubs at night or something—meet lots of new people, get a change of scenery. And dancing is a great workout." He stepped back again as she stepped forward.
"I don't like meeting people that way. And the only club nearby brings back bad memories for me. I was there the night that Kuno… uhm"
"Where is Kuno, anyway? I would have thought he'd be after you with the rest of these guys still." He searched through the crowds briefly.
"He's in jail on… rape charges. You must be from quite a ways away if you didn't see that in the papers. I'd like to stop talking about it now though. I don't want to think about it. I can't even think about being with a guy, even if I fell in love with one, after that."
'Wow. I guess that guy just had too much obsession in him for just her. I feel kinda bad for not relieving that.' He thought to himself, still not wanting to let out his real past. Instead, he simply said, "That sucks."
"I'm doing better now that he's gone. And I'm doing great with girls." She grinned and took another step closer, and Ranma took another step back.
"Yeah, listen, Akane. I'm not interested. You're a great girl and all," he felt weird lying through his teeth to make her feel better, "But I'm, uh… Not interested in girls. Can we just go get some lunch? I'm REALLY starving here."
"Oh, yeah. Sorry. I'm not too hungry. You can actually have all of mine." She smiled, though it looked faked, she seemed genuinely disappointed. He ate gladly anyway, still hungry when he finished, but he felt much better. "So will you still be here after I'm done with school?"
"Uhm, actually, uhh… no." He looked for an excuse, but cam up with nothing good. "I'll be busy. I'll see ya around, though. Bye, Akane." He turned and left, glad to have food, but glad to be away from her.
But as he walked, he thought, and he couldn't get over what he'd said to her. 'But I'm, uh… Not interested in girls.' Was it just an excuse, or did he really mean that? Or was it just his female side influencing his mind again? It'd happened before, perhaps he'd gotten too much of the wrong hormones to the brain recently. But it wasn't all bad. Maybe he didn't like girls after all. He had had many girls throw themselves to his mercy for marriage, but none of them had really sparked his interest. He figured he'd just never met the right one, but then again, maybe there was no right one for him.
There was no one in his life that he'd been able to get close to, no one who he felt like opening up his heart to. No one fit the description of what he'd always expected love to be. But now was his chance. No one here completely hated him yet. No one even knew him. Now was his chance to start again and try things differently and have the opportunity to get to know someone from a different perspective. And not only that, but no one was following him enough to hit him when he tried something.
He first needed to find someone worth trying this on. Akane and Shampoo were out of the question. Ukyo didn't seem to be around. He shuddered at the next person who came to mind, Kodachi. He figured he might as well go see her, but he figured she's probably still too crazy, after all, it seemed to be a family trait. Maybe at least he could get some free food out of it.
He (Ranma had sought out some warm water before venturing on this quest) knocked on her door and waited a few moments, listening for any sign that she was home, footsteps or a television set on. Nothing came, so he knocked again, this time much harder. He heard a grunt and then stumbling footsteps coming from what he knew to be the family living room.
Kodachi answered, but she looked horrible. Her hair was down and a mess. Her usually perfect make up was now smudged and faded. She wore her signature leotard, but over it was a loosely tied bathrobe with feather trim. She shaded her eyes from the glaring afternoon sun and blinked at him in confusion. "Yes?" She asked wearily, and he could smell alcohol on her breath.
"Hi Kodachi." He said with a large smile on his face.
"You're not one of those bill collectors again, are ya?" She tried to focus on his face. "I toldya a million times, I don't got the money, it's in my brother's name and he's in jail. But I'll fight ya for the money. Ohohoho." Her laugh was obviously forced, and didn't have even a fraction of the projection that it usually did.
Moving on, he said, "No, I'm Ra..." But he got cut off by her throwing off her robe and pulling out her Rhythmic Gymnastics ribbon. She tried to laugh again, but it came out weak, and she fell to her knees before even being able to get the ribbon started twirling. Ranma ran and caught her before she fell completely face down on the ground. Her form felt nearly weightless in his arms.
He picked her up and carried her back to the couch that she apparently had slept on the night before. Her body stirred as he walked, and moved itself into the curves of his chest. He felt the warmth of her body spread up his spine. It was a warmth he'd never been able to feel before.
Various bottles of liquor were placed atop every possible surface in the house. He set her limp form down and sat across the room, waiting until she awoke again, watching her shallow breathing for almost half an hour before she stirred.
She sat up, one hand to her head and stared at him for a long time, trying to figure out who he was or why he was here or what she'd done with her bottle of aspirin. Finally she stammered out, "Who... are you?"
"Ranma Saotome." He said, not moving from his chair, he hadn't expected such a drastic change in Kodachi, and wasn't sure he still wanted to do what he'd planned.
She stood and walked to the bay window behind him and stared out at nothing in particular. "Why are you here?" She turned to glare at him. "What have you done to me?"
"I didn't do anything. You fainted on the porch and I brought you in. As for why I'm here" He stood and gulped and took a deep breath before stepping forward, pulling her into his arms and kissing her hard. Her body tensed for a moment but then relaxed and molded to his shape. It felt uncomfortable to him, though. Her body was too light and didn't fill his arms. Her breasts felt awkward pressing into his chest. He let go of her. "I can't do this" He muttered and rushed out of the house.
What was wrong? Why couldn't he do this? Her lips felt warm and soft. The closeness felt better than anything he'd ever felt, but it just didn't feel right to him. He concluded that he probably wouldn't be able to be with anyone ever. He didn't mind this thought, really. Emotions of that kind were just too much to deal with. And anyway, one of the reasons he wanted to die at Cologne's hand was because of the pain of too many fiancées pursuing him.
He needed a place to stay for the night, but it seemed to him that he'd already exhausted most of his available locations, and he didn't want to come up with another excuse as to why he was there. Dr. Tofu's office would probably be a good idea, he could just fake sick, but he didn't want to sleep on the hard hospital bed in a room that smelled of medicines and cleaning fluids.
Then an idea hit him. Ryoga's house would almost certainly be empty, as none of the family could ever find their way back. When he got there, no lights in the house were on, and he found a window in the back that wasn't locked up. He'd rarely been in Ryoga's house before. Every turn had a set of sticky notes plastered on it with directions to every room in the house, so he found Ryoga's room fairly easily. It was relatively barren, with only a dresser and a large futon to break the monotony of the white walls.
He curiously peeked into Ryoga's dresser. It was also fairly empty, except one drawer was full of yellow bandannas and a few sets of clothes, much too small for Ryoga now. He shut the drawers and stretched and yawned. The view out the window caught his eye. Ryoga's room overlooked the field where the two of them would have been supposed to have their fight, the one that Ryoga wouldn't have been able to find for four days. Ranma smiled at the memories of that other life, wondering if he could still manage to reclaim the best parts in this new world. He hadn't had a fight since he'd arrived, and his muscles began to ache from the inactivity. He slipped into bed and fell asleep happy.
Ranma woke up to the blaring sun, telling him that he'd slept much longer than he'd anticipated. He stretched and quickly visited the furo before quickly heading out to visit two very important people to him.
He watched his mother for a long time as she hung her laundry on the line to dry. As Ranma had last seen her to be still youthful and vibrant, she looked weary and depressed, although still beautiful. Not having a child must have been a big deal to her, as she also looked very very lonely, even though Genma sat not ten feet away from her reading a newspaper and commenting on current events. He, on the other hand, seemed to be exactly the same as he'd been left.
Ranma wanted so much to go and embrace his mother, but he didn't think he could possibly explain fast enough to not get his ass severely kicked by his father. He was happy just to be able to see her without fear of immediate death looming over his head--only severe punishment.
When his parents retreated indoors, he left as well.
He didn't mind so much being in this sort of existence. He knew for sure that he could keep it up at least until an alternate way out presented itself. After his encounter with Kodachi he knew for certain that he could never be happy with Shampoo, and he couldn't take the easy way out. If nothing came up, he could stay forever, except for one thing.
He was starting to feel lonely.
He was a million times happier without the constant nagging from every direction to commit to and marry one of his many fiancées, but he missed what always followed each and every glomp. His sparring with his supposed enemies was a tremendous stress reliever and was certainly at least some degree of social interaction.
He considered locating Hiroshi and Daisuke, but all he had ever talked about with them was his fights and recent adventures, and all they ever talked to him about was girls. They were good friends and were always there for him, but it didn't seem like a possibility to build that back up until his life here had stabilized more. He wasn't even sure if he'd be able to attend school again for a while, certainly not as a boy.
---
"Where the hell am I now???" Ryoga screamed out into the darkness of the night to no one in particular. He looked at his street map again, turned it 90 degrees and looked at it once more, still not seeing anything that resembled the intersection he was looking at. He walked a block in one direction and looked at the street names again. Still no good, he turned another corner and looked up for a landmark. What he saw in front of him astonished him-
His own house.
He entered the house and followed his scrawled directions to his own room, only making one wrong turn along the way. He set down his pack by the door and removed his shirt and felt his way through the darkness to the near side of the large bed. He never understood why his parents bought him such a large mattress; the emptiness of it bothered him.
---
Ranma had almost been asleep when the other boy settled in next to him. He had been training by himself all day and was glad to have a guaranteed place to sleep and was thoroughly disappointed to find that he may be discovered. This was not the right place to be discovered by his long time rival. He waited for several minutes until breathing slowed and he was fairly certain he must be asleep.
He began to stand up slowly, careful not to make any sudden movements or loud noises. Before he got very far, he looked down at the tranquil boy beneath him. Ryoga lay in the single beam of moonlight that dared enter the room, so Ranma could see him fairly clearly. He looked a little heavier, probably from eating properly in Junior High without Ranma to snag the last piece of bread daily. He also looked as if he hadn't trained nearly as hard, though his strength was still more than likely far above average.
This was still the Ryoga he knew, but he seemed softer. In his current sleep he seemed happy, and Ranma wondered if he had suffered less without his presence. He began to feel a great regret for how he'd adversely affected the eternally lost boy. He wanted so much to go back and apologize and comfort him and hold him and... 'Wait a minute... hold him? Did I actually just think that?' he puzzled to himself.
He looked to the boy's face and his lips, that seemed inviting, slightly parted in his sleep. Something drew him closer and closer to them; he couldn't stop his movement once it had started. His body shook uncontrollably as he neared his target at a snail's pace, and stopped only after he finally made contact following what seemed like an eternity.
Ryoga's lips were not only warm themselves, but they warmed Ranma all the way into the deepest parts of his gut. At first Ryoga began to return the kiss, but when the boy above him began to prod ever so slightly with his tongue, he awoke and sat up with a start. "Who the hell are you?" he demanded, squinting to try to catch a glimpse of the boy in the thin light.
"I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about that." He sat back in a crouch and smiled as the thought of how cute Ryoga looked when he was angry drifted through his mind.
"What are you doing in my room?" he asked, and without waiting for an answer he declared, "Ranma Saotome! Prepare to die!" and rose to a battle stance.
Ranma chuckled at the familiar phrase. "I just needed a place to stay. I figured this would be a safe bet, since you're always lost somewhere," Ranma replied as he hopped back to avoid the first blow. "I don't want to fight you!"
"Well, that's apparent from what you were trying to do a moment ago!" He threw a few more punches, all of which the stranger dodged easily.
"Please, Ryoga, I'm sorry." He could tell that his opponent wasn't trained as well as the last time they'd fought, and he knew he could defeat him easily, if that was what he wanted to do, so he tried to reason with the boy as he avoided the blows.
"Such a thing is unforgivable! I don't even know you!" He had Ranma backed into a corner, which he easily leaped out of.
"But I know you. Can I explain?"
"What are you? Some kind of stalker?"
"No, just a friend."
"I've never met you! Now stop moving so I can hit you!"
"Stop trying to hit me and let me explain!"
"If only Mousse were here still! Together we could defeat you!"
"Mousse? Why would he fight at your side?"
"That's none of your business!" Ryoga flew at Ranma with an increased fury at the mention of Mousse, but he also faltered and Ranma was able to find an easy opening to pin him against the wall such that he couldn't move.
"Tell me... I want to know about Mousse."
Ryoga stood silent for a moment until Ranma squeezed a pressure point in his arm, which made him cry out slightly in pain. "Ok... I'll tell you." Ranma released the point, but held the boy firmly in place.
"When the two women we loved, Akane and Shampoo, hooked up, we spent a lot of time together consoling each other. One day when we were both feeling particularly lonely and depressed, Mousse suggested that we try doing… things… with each other. We both enjoyed it a lot and that was about all we did for the next few days. I thought it was great, the end to all my problems with love, but then Mousse decided it wasn't right for him... it wasn't what he wanted, and he decided to move back to China." By the time Ryoga finished his story, tears were streaming down his face and his body had become limp. Ranma released him and guided him to sit on the futon, where he buried his face in his hands and let tears stream down his cheeks.
Ranma put one arm around Ryoga and pried one of his hands away from his face, replacing it softly with his own. He pulled the still crying boy closer and kissed his trembling lips. This time Ryoga did not object, and in fact embraced him and pulled him down on top of him in a lying position. After a while of kissing his new "friend", Ryoga pushed him away gently and asked, "What was that explanation you were going to give me?" He looked worried.
"For tonight, let's just stick with the obsessed stalker theory. It's complicated, and it's late already."
"Alright, I suppose I can wait," but Ranma had already lain his head down on Ryoga's shoulder and wrapped his arm around his torso. 'Maybe it isn't so bad that my parents bought me such a large mattress after all,' Ryoga thought as he, too drifted into a confused, but contented sleep, 'There's something about this guy that doesn't seem so bad. A little strange, maybe, but not bad.'
Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and all characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. This story was written in fun, and is not being used to make money in any way.
WARNING: This story contains Male/Male and Female/Female relationships and descriptions of acts related to such. It also discusses rape and murder. Do not read if this may bother you.
Ranma's throat was aching from the heavy breathing, but he hardly noticed. His muscles ached all over, but he hardly cared. Blood dripped from a three-inch gash across his forehead, but he had stopped bothering to wipe it away long ago. Right now his concentration was elsewhere. Precisely, on the blade hovering about 3 millimeters away from his jugular and the wrinkled hag standing on his chest. "Are you sure about this, son- in-law?" The woman looked rather astonished, but her look softened as he collapsed in exhaustion.
"Yes, life is really just too much for me; too many fiancées, too many enemies. I even wish none of it had ever happened!" He sat up to scream at her, knocking her to the ground, but wearily settled back, covering his face with his hands. "Just do it quickly, please, I hurt pretty bad." Cologne only chuckled and nodded, pulling a small bottle out of a deep shadow in her clothes.
"Alright son-in-law, but remember to call for me when you're ready for me to remove this."
"Remove death?" Ranma peered at her through his fingers.
She chuckled. "No, not death, you can't marry Shampoo if you're dead, besides, this should prove worse to you. I'll remove it when you'll agree to marry Shampoo immediately." And with an evil laugh, she threw the bottle to his feet, smashing it into a hundred pieces and releasing a dark purple powder into the air. The cloud of powder grew and the wind picked it up and swirled around Ranma. He felt the ground dropping away from him. His body turned over and twisted around while something deep inside him was wrenched away by an ethereal pair of hands. His body went limp for a moment before he dropped harshly to the ground.
"OW! That hurt, you ghoul!" He yelped and jumped to his feet, lunging at where the woman had been before, but coming up empty handed. "Where'd ya go Cologne?!? Too chicken to actually kill me?!? Come back and I'll get you!" He looked around but saw no one except a puzzled looking passerby whose gaze he met briefly before she quickened her pace in the opposite direction. Ranma began to run, not sure where he was headed, but it didn't seem to matter, he stopped quickly when he discovered that his body no longer ached. The blood from his forehead no longer stained his fingertips.
Dark clouds began to move above him, and tiny droplets of rain began to fall around him. He decided to see if Cologne had retreated to her restaurant. He ran fast, fearing the oncoming rainstorm, but found he didn't tire. When he reached the Nekohanten, he pushed the door to slam it open-battle aura glowing fiercely-but it didn't budge, and he slammed himself hard on the glass panels. He paused and read the previously unseen sign that read "Closed for good due to lack of help. Signed, Cologne" in large lettering.
This shook Ranma considerably. "They were doing well yesterday—and what about Shampoo and Mousse?! Those baka! What'd they do this time? Why didn't Cologne mention something earlier?"
The rain was coming down in sheets now, and showed little sign of slowing soon, so Ranma trudged home, female form revealing itself before he took even a few steps. By the time the Tendo Dojo was finally in sight, he had decided it would be best to go to the bathroom and simply splash himself back to male form quickly and get into bed.
He entered the house, dripping, and sulked past the dining room, where Soun, Nabiki and Kasumi were drinking tea and chatting, laughing and smiling until they saw Ranma, when they paused to stare at him. Ranma kept his eyes on the floor and kept going.
When he passed, Nabiki turned back to the other two and asked, "Who was that?"
"I don't know," Soun replied, "but it looks like our little Akane has two of them now," and started crying.
Ranma slipped into the bathroom quickly and removed his shirt to dunk his head into the warm bath. It felt good to be in his own skin again and he knew he would sleep well tonight. He crossed to his room, noticing the light on-he was sure it'd been left off-through the crack under the door. He panicked, sure someone had been or was in his room. He pushed the door open and his first reaction to what he saw in front of him was "Shampoo! Get off of her!!! Stop strangling Akane!"
It was then that he began to notice things. The decoration of the room was distinctively not as he'd left it. The futon he usually slept on was now a bed with Chinese patterned red silk sheets. More obviously was that the two girls on top of it were completely naked, and Shampoo's hands were not around Akane's neck as he'd originally thought, but cupped firmly on her breasts. Akane hadn't been struggling either; her noises were shrieks and moans of pleasure.
Both girls screamed at once. Akane jumped up and clutched the sheets around her, knocking Shampoo to the floor. "Hentai!" She screamed and struggled to cover her body.
"What strange boy do in Shampoo room?" The still naked one sprawled on the floor demanded as she stood up and pounced on him, knocking him into the wall before sprinting into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
Akane looked seriously frightened by now. "Who are you? How do you know my name? What are you doing here? What gives you the right to break in on my girlfriend and I like that?" The questions flooded Ranma, but he stopped her at this one.
"GIRLFRIEND? SHAMPOO? YOU?" He nearly fainted, but managed to hold himself up-barely. "I knew you were a tomboy, but this is something else! What happened to our engagement?"
"*Our* engagement? I don't know who you are or what you're talking about! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!" She charged at him and pushed him down the hallway, banging his head against the wall by the stairs. Ranma lost consciousness and fell to the floor.
The three downstairs heard the cacophony above and came running at once. Shampoo peeked out of the bathroom, now covered by a towel. Soun started crying as he said, "My little Akane! First Shampoo, I've come to accept that, but the red-haired girl and now this boy?!? All in one night?!?" The sobs came quickly now.
"Daddy, I don't know this boy!" she asserted.
"And we no see red hair girl!" interjected Shampoo. "Shampoo no like red hair." She sneered and stuck her tongue out, crossed her arms and turned her back in defiance.
"Then where'd she go?" Everybody looked around in the bedrooms and downstairs, but the girl they were seeking was nowhere to be found. Kasumi got a damp cloth to try to revive the strange half-naked boy and propped him up so he was no longer at risk of falling down the stairs. After Akane and Shampoo had redressed, the three of them moved Ranma to Kasumi's bed to await his awakening and question him properly.
He awoke eventually and sat up, holding the place on his head that had been hit. "What's going on?" he finally croaked out.
"Why don't YOU tell US, you pervert!" Akane confronted him.
"What do you mean? I was just coming home to go to sleep, and you two were getting it on in what should have been my bed!" His head began to hurt further trying to comprehend what was happening.
"Home? Your bed? Hey, are you the kid who was going to move in with the neighbors? You must just have the wrong house!" Akane smiled for the first time since Ranma had walked in.
"NO! I - LIVE - HERE!" He tried to spell it out to them slowly, but they still stared at him blankly. "Don't you know me? This isn't funny. It's me-Ranma, Ranma Saotome!"
Soun smiled, "Saotome? As in Genma Saotome?!?"
"Yeah, that's my pop. Where is he anyway?"
"I haven't seen Genma in years. Not since he gave up on producing a male heir. He never succeeded in having a son to carry on my Dojo. How could you be the son of a man who's never had kids?!?"
"What do you mean he's never had kids?!? I'm here!" Ranma jumped up and grabbed Soun's collar to shake him.
Soun threw Ranma across the room for that. "HE NEVER HAD KIDS! Get out of my house, you liar! You pervert! Trespasser!" Soun ran over to him and threw him out the window, landing him in the pond in the back yard, and changing him back into female form. His shirt shortly followed him out of the window before it was shut and locked along with the rest of the house.
The rain was pouring very hard now and, except for the staggered streetlights, it was getting very dark. Ranma didn't know where to go. He couldn't figure out why the Tendos would play such an elaborate joke on him. He pulled his shirt back on and trudged down the street. He resolved to go to Ukyo's house. She didn't seem to be the sort who would joke around like this-and he could get a good meal out of the trip. It took him a long time to get there because he was exhausted and didn't want to run. When the restaurant front was vaguely in sight, his spirit was lifted for a while. He could almost taste the okonomiyaki already and began to run. He blindly entered and sat down at the counter. "Give me one with everything! No, make that 10, U-Chan!"
"U-Chan?" The burly man behind the counter slowly turned around, a large fish in his hands.
"Err" Ranma slowly turned around and ran out of the restaurant, turning to check the sign above the door. It read "Mr. Tanaka's Sushi Restaurant." 'Ok' Ranma thought to himself, 'Now things are getting a little weird. Did I miss something?' He sat down with his back against the front wall of the restaurant, under the awning to protect himself from the rain. He was so exhausted by this point that he had barely managed to rest his head on his knees before he fell soundly asleep.
As Ranma slept, visions of that day ran through his head. The purple smoke surrounded him once again. The pain of the fall almost hurt him for the second time. Cologne's voice saying, "remember to call for me when you're ready for me to remove this" rang through his head over and over again. He awoke to the sound of running footsteps. He opened his eyes and the sound stopped.
He heard Akane's mumbling voice, "I'm going to be late but…" And he sat up to stretch and rub his eyes. "Excuse me, who are you? Don't you need to get to school?" She sounded much sweeter and cheerier than last they spoke.
"I'm uhh" He looked down at himself, remembering the rain the night before. "Ranko" He finally replied, since she obviously didn't recognize his female half. He thought he'd play along and be nice, since his stomach was churning audibly by now. He took Akane's hand when she offered it to help him stand, but she didn't let go once he reached his feet. She chatted about various things as she led him along, discussing the weather and bragging about her skills in martial arts. When they arrived at Furinkan High School, a small swarm of boys waited to "greet" her. 'I thought they had all cut this out months ago. What're these few still doing here? At least Kuno's not around to see me like this.'
When the boys began to charge, Akane knocked the first one to the ground and shouted, "I've already told you, I'm not interested in any of you! Look! This is my new girlfriend, Ranko!" And with that she pushed a startled Ranma in front of her, plowing through the baffled and saddened crowd.
Once they made it through the front doors, Ranma regained his composure and stopped to turn around. "Akane!" And remembering her forgetfulness, "Didn't we just meet?"
She giggled, "Sorry about that, it was all I could think of to get through to them. I admire their persistence, but" She looked out through the glass at the small herd consoling each other, "Guys just give me the creeps. What girl could want to marry one after having a father like mine? And what Tatewaki Kuno did to me" She trailed off and sighed and stared at her feet. "I hope I'm not scaring you… I like you a lot." Ranma startled. "No… heh heh, I mean, like a good friend. I feel like I've known you a long time." She smiled before realizing the time and excused herself to run off to class.
Ranma shuddered inside to think Akane liked him this way. Though she did act the same when they first met with him being a she. He resolved to leave her in the dark for a while; at least it would temporarily save his head-mentally and physically-from pain.
He now was stuck with what to do for the day. He was running out of places to go. He couldn't go home—Soun, Nabiki and Kasumi had seen him in both forms. Ukyo was nowhere to be found. Who knows how Shampoo would react to seeing him like this. 'She's much smarter than most people think she is,' He thought to himself, 'Akane didn't catch on, but then again, she never saw that P-Chan and Ryoga were the same.' Then it hit him, 'Ryoga! Maybe he still knows me!' But first, besides knowing how impossible it was to find the boy, he wanted to know what his new curse really entailed. "COLOGNE?!?" He shouted at the top of his lungs, attracting some strange looks from the people on the street in front of the high school.
As he expected, a swirl of a familiar-looking purple smoke dropped the old woman gracefully to the ground. "Ah, I knew you'd crack quickly. Ready to marry Shampoo?"
Ranma laughed. "Hell no. I just want to know what's happened to me?"
"Well, that's simple; I thought a bright boy like you would catch on sooner. The powder I used on you was made up of the ashes of forget-me-nots and 11 other herbs and spices-a secret Amazon warrior trick that's been banned for centuries, but I found the recipe and knew it would do just the trick to shatter your humongous ego. You've been un-born. Nobody's lives have been affected by your existence. Nobody knows you. If you're not careful, the friendships you've worked hard to make could turn into deep hatred. I'll let you out now, or I'll check on you in a week, if you last that long. Either way, I know you'll agree to marry Shampoo." She smirked.
Feeling a bit doubtful, but much more mischievous, Ranma declined the offer with a bow and a wave. "Suit yourself, son-in-law!" Cologne disappeared much like she had arrived, but in reverse.
Ranma had already determined to seek out Ryoga next, but the poor boy's sense of direction apparently had led him far away from Nerima. He mentally made a to-do list in his mind. First off, he would test Shampoo; he'd have to confront her eventually.
He found her easily enough, sunbathing by the pond in the Tendos' yard. He wasn't certain how to confront her at first, but settled on a friendly "Hello".
"Nihao." She looked up and smiled. "Can Shampoo help you? Shampoo no see you before." Ranma stammered for an answer. He really hadn't thought this plan through. Shampoo strained to look at him and finally resolved to push he sunglasses down her nose to get a better look. In doing this, she got a good look at the color of this strange girl's hair and made the connection. "You were girl here last night!" She shrieked and tried to land a punch to the jaw. "Trespasser!"
Her hit missed by a lot and Ranma's reflexes returned the hit squarely to the stomach, sending Shampoo into the pool behind her. The cold water quickly exchanged cat for girl and Ranma reeled back in fear. Then he realized he wasn't really scared, only panicking in fear of being afraid. The cat in front of him posed no threat, his father had never treated him to the torture he had endured in the other life, the memory of it seemed to be centuries away. He was filled with immense joy. He ran up and hugged the cat to the chest and carried it in the house and into the kitchen, happy to see that Kasumi wasn't around. He boiled some water and poured it over the cat, returning her to human form.
"Oh, I'm so happy I could kiss you!" Ranma squealed, eyes sparkling. The girl on the counter looked at her very oddly.
"Please no. Shampoo no like girls with red hairs. Is ugly." Ranma sneered. "What you want with Shampoo? Talk fast, or Shampoo kick you out of house."
Ranma thought fast. "Just tell me, why do you change into a cat?" He was puzzled by how she would have ended up in jusenkyo without his influence.
"Great grandmother Cologne defeat Shampoo at magical spring Jusenkyo because Shampoo no get husband. Shampoo now defy great grandmother and run away. Shampoo now no want husband. Girls nicer to Shampoo. Mousse creepy. Mousse obsessed stalker. Happosai creepy too. Happosai steal Shampoo panties and Shampoo kill Happosai. All other men just want Shampoo body." Ranma laughed uncomfortably and breathed an internal sigh of relief and Shampoo smiled before she caught herself and gave him an evil look. "Red Haired Girl leave Tendo house now or Shampoo kill her too."
"Alright. If you want me gone, I'll leave. Thanks for the info." He waved, grabbed an apple off of the counter, and let himself out, whistling a happy tune at the thought of his biggest fear gone. He even stooped to pet a stray as he walked back to Furinkan.
He sat himself down against one of the trees in the yard and took a contented, although hungry, nap until the afternoon school bell rang. He sat up and stretched and watched his former schoolmates run past, eager to get to their individual destinations.
Akane came out soon, fuming, pushing guys away as she walked. She smiled and began to run once she saw Ranma, obviously eager to talk to her. As she was about to start speaking, she stopped and blushed. She opened her mouth to speak again, but stopped again, apparently trying to decide what to say. "Hi," she finally managed to get out.
"Hey, Akane. How was school?" Ranma didn't move from his comfortable spot under the tree until Akane offered him a hand.
"Not too good, really. It never is. I don't understand why showing them a girlfriend finally worked, they've known I've had them for a long time now. Shampoo's the first one it's gotten serious with, but she kinda annoys me. I love her, but I need a change of pace sometimes, you know what I mean?" She stepped close towards Ranma, looking up at her with seductive puppy dog eyes.
Ranma sweatdropped and took a step back. "Akane, heh, I'm… uhh… sorry to hear that." He searched for a way to get her off of him. "Maybe you should go out to clubs at night or something—meet lots of new people, get a change of scenery. And dancing is a great workout." He stepped back again as she stepped forward.
"I don't like meeting people that way. And the only club nearby brings back bad memories for me. I was there the night that Kuno… uhm"
"Where is Kuno, anyway? I would have thought he'd be after you with the rest of these guys still." He searched through the crowds briefly.
"He's in jail on… rape charges. You must be from quite a ways away if you didn't see that in the papers. I'd like to stop talking about it now though. I don't want to think about it. I can't even think about being with a guy, even if I fell in love with one, after that."
'Wow. I guess that guy just had too much obsession in him for just her. I feel kinda bad for not relieving that.' He thought to himself, still not wanting to let out his real past. Instead, he simply said, "That sucks."
"I'm doing better now that he's gone. And I'm doing great with girls." She grinned and took another step closer, and Ranma took another step back.
"Yeah, listen, Akane. I'm not interested. You're a great girl and all," he felt weird lying through his teeth to make her feel better, "But I'm, uh… Not interested in girls. Can we just go get some lunch? I'm REALLY starving here."
"Oh, yeah. Sorry. I'm not too hungry. You can actually have all of mine." She smiled, though it looked faked, she seemed genuinely disappointed. He ate gladly anyway, still hungry when he finished, but he felt much better. "So will you still be here after I'm done with school?"
"Uhm, actually, uhh… no." He looked for an excuse, but cam up with nothing good. "I'll be busy. I'll see ya around, though. Bye, Akane." He turned and left, glad to have food, but glad to be away from her.
But as he walked, he thought, and he couldn't get over what he'd said to her. 'But I'm, uh… Not interested in girls.' Was it just an excuse, or did he really mean that? Or was it just his female side influencing his mind again? It'd happened before, perhaps he'd gotten too much of the wrong hormones to the brain recently. But it wasn't all bad. Maybe he didn't like girls after all. He had had many girls throw themselves to his mercy for marriage, but none of them had really sparked his interest. He figured he'd just never met the right one, but then again, maybe there was no right one for him.
There was no one in his life that he'd been able to get close to, no one who he felt like opening up his heart to. No one fit the description of what he'd always expected love to be. But now was his chance. No one here completely hated him yet. No one even knew him. Now was his chance to start again and try things differently and have the opportunity to get to know someone from a different perspective. And not only that, but no one was following him enough to hit him when he tried something.
He first needed to find someone worth trying this on. Akane and Shampoo were out of the question. Ukyo didn't seem to be around. He shuddered at the next person who came to mind, Kodachi. He figured he might as well go see her, but he figured she's probably still too crazy, after all, it seemed to be a family trait. Maybe at least he could get some free food out of it.
He (Ranma had sought out some warm water before venturing on this quest) knocked on her door and waited a few moments, listening for any sign that she was home, footsteps or a television set on. Nothing came, so he knocked again, this time much harder. He heard a grunt and then stumbling footsteps coming from what he knew to be the family living room.
Kodachi answered, but she looked horrible. Her hair was down and a mess. Her usually perfect make up was now smudged and faded. She wore her signature leotard, but over it was a loosely tied bathrobe with feather trim. She shaded her eyes from the glaring afternoon sun and blinked at him in confusion. "Yes?" She asked wearily, and he could smell alcohol on her breath.
"Hi Kodachi." He said with a large smile on his face.
"You're not one of those bill collectors again, are ya?" She tried to focus on his face. "I toldya a million times, I don't got the money, it's in my brother's name and he's in jail. But I'll fight ya for the money. Ohohoho." Her laugh was obviously forced, and didn't have even a fraction of the projection that it usually did.
Moving on, he said, "No, I'm Ra..." But he got cut off by her throwing off her robe and pulling out her Rhythmic Gymnastics ribbon. She tried to laugh again, but it came out weak, and she fell to her knees before even being able to get the ribbon started twirling. Ranma ran and caught her before she fell completely face down on the ground. Her form felt nearly weightless in his arms.
He picked her up and carried her back to the couch that she apparently had slept on the night before. Her body stirred as he walked, and moved itself into the curves of his chest. He felt the warmth of her body spread up his spine. It was a warmth he'd never been able to feel before.
Various bottles of liquor were placed atop every possible surface in the house. He set her limp form down and sat across the room, waiting until she awoke again, watching her shallow breathing for almost half an hour before she stirred.
She sat up, one hand to her head and stared at him for a long time, trying to figure out who he was or why he was here or what she'd done with her bottle of aspirin. Finally she stammered out, "Who... are you?"
"Ranma Saotome." He said, not moving from his chair, he hadn't expected such a drastic change in Kodachi, and wasn't sure he still wanted to do what he'd planned.
She stood and walked to the bay window behind him and stared out at nothing in particular. "Why are you here?" She turned to glare at him. "What have you done to me?"
"I didn't do anything. You fainted on the porch and I brought you in. As for why I'm here" He stood and gulped and took a deep breath before stepping forward, pulling her into his arms and kissing her hard. Her body tensed for a moment but then relaxed and molded to his shape. It felt uncomfortable to him, though. Her body was too light and didn't fill his arms. Her breasts felt awkward pressing into his chest. He let go of her. "I can't do this" He muttered and rushed out of the house.
What was wrong? Why couldn't he do this? Her lips felt warm and soft. The closeness felt better than anything he'd ever felt, but it just didn't feel right to him. He concluded that he probably wouldn't be able to be with anyone ever. He didn't mind this thought, really. Emotions of that kind were just too much to deal with. And anyway, one of the reasons he wanted to die at Cologne's hand was because of the pain of too many fiancées pursuing him.
He needed a place to stay for the night, but it seemed to him that he'd already exhausted most of his available locations, and he didn't want to come up with another excuse as to why he was there. Dr. Tofu's office would probably be a good idea, he could just fake sick, but he didn't want to sleep on the hard hospital bed in a room that smelled of medicines and cleaning fluids.
Then an idea hit him. Ryoga's house would almost certainly be empty, as none of the family could ever find their way back. When he got there, no lights in the house were on, and he found a window in the back that wasn't locked up. He'd rarely been in Ryoga's house before. Every turn had a set of sticky notes plastered on it with directions to every room in the house, so he found Ryoga's room fairly easily. It was relatively barren, with only a dresser and a large futon to break the monotony of the white walls.
He curiously peeked into Ryoga's dresser. It was also fairly empty, except one drawer was full of yellow bandannas and a few sets of clothes, much too small for Ryoga now. He shut the drawers and stretched and yawned. The view out the window caught his eye. Ryoga's room overlooked the field where the two of them would have been supposed to have their fight, the one that Ryoga wouldn't have been able to find for four days. Ranma smiled at the memories of that other life, wondering if he could still manage to reclaim the best parts in this new world. He hadn't had a fight since he'd arrived, and his muscles began to ache from the inactivity. He slipped into bed and fell asleep happy.
Ranma woke up to the blaring sun, telling him that he'd slept much longer than he'd anticipated. He stretched and quickly visited the furo before quickly heading out to visit two very important people to him.
He watched his mother for a long time as she hung her laundry on the line to dry. As Ranma had last seen her to be still youthful and vibrant, she looked weary and depressed, although still beautiful. Not having a child must have been a big deal to her, as she also looked very very lonely, even though Genma sat not ten feet away from her reading a newspaper and commenting on current events. He, on the other hand, seemed to be exactly the same as he'd been left.
Ranma wanted so much to go and embrace his mother, but he didn't think he could possibly explain fast enough to not get his ass severely kicked by his father. He was happy just to be able to see her without fear of immediate death looming over his head--only severe punishment.
When his parents retreated indoors, he left as well.
He didn't mind so much being in this sort of existence. He knew for sure that he could keep it up at least until an alternate way out presented itself. After his encounter with Kodachi he knew for certain that he could never be happy with Shampoo, and he couldn't take the easy way out. If nothing came up, he could stay forever, except for one thing.
He was starting to feel lonely.
He was a million times happier without the constant nagging from every direction to commit to and marry one of his many fiancées, but he missed what always followed each and every glomp. His sparring with his supposed enemies was a tremendous stress reliever and was certainly at least some degree of social interaction.
He considered locating Hiroshi and Daisuke, but all he had ever talked about with them was his fights and recent adventures, and all they ever talked to him about was girls. They were good friends and were always there for him, but it didn't seem like a possibility to build that back up until his life here had stabilized more. He wasn't even sure if he'd be able to attend school again for a while, certainly not as a boy.
---
"Where the hell am I now???" Ryoga screamed out into the darkness of the night to no one in particular. He looked at his street map again, turned it 90 degrees and looked at it once more, still not seeing anything that resembled the intersection he was looking at. He walked a block in one direction and looked at the street names again. Still no good, he turned another corner and looked up for a landmark. What he saw in front of him astonished him-
His own house.
He entered the house and followed his scrawled directions to his own room, only making one wrong turn along the way. He set down his pack by the door and removed his shirt and felt his way through the darkness to the near side of the large bed. He never understood why his parents bought him such a large mattress; the emptiness of it bothered him.
---
Ranma had almost been asleep when the other boy settled in next to him. He had been training by himself all day and was glad to have a guaranteed place to sleep and was thoroughly disappointed to find that he may be discovered. This was not the right place to be discovered by his long time rival. He waited for several minutes until breathing slowed and he was fairly certain he must be asleep.
He began to stand up slowly, careful not to make any sudden movements or loud noises. Before he got very far, he looked down at the tranquil boy beneath him. Ryoga lay in the single beam of moonlight that dared enter the room, so Ranma could see him fairly clearly. He looked a little heavier, probably from eating properly in Junior High without Ranma to snag the last piece of bread daily. He also looked as if he hadn't trained nearly as hard, though his strength was still more than likely far above average.
This was still the Ryoga he knew, but he seemed softer. In his current sleep he seemed happy, and Ranma wondered if he had suffered less without his presence. He began to feel a great regret for how he'd adversely affected the eternally lost boy. He wanted so much to go back and apologize and comfort him and hold him and... 'Wait a minute... hold him? Did I actually just think that?' he puzzled to himself.
He looked to the boy's face and his lips, that seemed inviting, slightly parted in his sleep. Something drew him closer and closer to them; he couldn't stop his movement once it had started. His body shook uncontrollably as he neared his target at a snail's pace, and stopped only after he finally made contact following what seemed like an eternity.
Ryoga's lips were not only warm themselves, but they warmed Ranma all the way into the deepest parts of his gut. At first Ryoga began to return the kiss, but when the boy above him began to prod ever so slightly with his tongue, he awoke and sat up with a start. "Who the hell are you?" he demanded, squinting to try to catch a glimpse of the boy in the thin light.
"I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about that." He sat back in a crouch and smiled as the thought of how cute Ryoga looked when he was angry drifted through his mind.
"What are you doing in my room?" he asked, and without waiting for an answer he declared, "Ranma Saotome! Prepare to die!" and rose to a battle stance.
Ranma chuckled at the familiar phrase. "I just needed a place to stay. I figured this would be a safe bet, since you're always lost somewhere," Ranma replied as he hopped back to avoid the first blow. "I don't want to fight you!"
"Well, that's apparent from what you were trying to do a moment ago!" He threw a few more punches, all of which the stranger dodged easily.
"Please, Ryoga, I'm sorry." He could tell that his opponent wasn't trained as well as the last time they'd fought, and he knew he could defeat him easily, if that was what he wanted to do, so he tried to reason with the boy as he avoided the blows.
"Such a thing is unforgivable! I don't even know you!" He had Ranma backed into a corner, which he easily leaped out of.
"But I know you. Can I explain?"
"What are you? Some kind of stalker?"
"No, just a friend."
"I've never met you! Now stop moving so I can hit you!"
"Stop trying to hit me and let me explain!"
"If only Mousse were here still! Together we could defeat you!"
"Mousse? Why would he fight at your side?"
"That's none of your business!" Ryoga flew at Ranma with an increased fury at the mention of Mousse, but he also faltered and Ranma was able to find an easy opening to pin him against the wall such that he couldn't move.
"Tell me... I want to know about Mousse."
Ryoga stood silent for a moment until Ranma squeezed a pressure point in his arm, which made him cry out slightly in pain. "Ok... I'll tell you." Ranma released the point, but held the boy firmly in place.
"When the two women we loved, Akane and Shampoo, hooked up, we spent a lot of time together consoling each other. One day when we were both feeling particularly lonely and depressed, Mousse suggested that we try doing… things… with each other. We both enjoyed it a lot and that was about all we did for the next few days. I thought it was great, the end to all my problems with love, but then Mousse decided it wasn't right for him... it wasn't what he wanted, and he decided to move back to China." By the time Ryoga finished his story, tears were streaming down his face and his body had become limp. Ranma released him and guided him to sit on the futon, where he buried his face in his hands and let tears stream down his cheeks.
Ranma put one arm around Ryoga and pried one of his hands away from his face, replacing it softly with his own. He pulled the still crying boy closer and kissed his trembling lips. This time Ryoga did not object, and in fact embraced him and pulled him down on top of him in a lying position. After a while of kissing his new "friend", Ryoga pushed him away gently and asked, "What was that explanation you were going to give me?" He looked worried.
"For tonight, let's just stick with the obsessed stalker theory. It's complicated, and it's late already."
"Alright, I suppose I can wait," but Ranma had already lain his head down on Ryoga's shoulder and wrapped his arm around his torso. 'Maybe it isn't so bad that my parents bought me such a large mattress after all,' Ryoga thought as he, too drifted into a confused, but contented sleep, 'There's something about this guy that doesn't seem so bad. A little strange, maybe, but not bad.'