Author's Note: Yes, the OC is technically me, although that's not really the point of the story. More importantly, enjoy Adam and Jay's reactions to this confusing encounter.
Jay Reso stood in the middle of the hotel lobby, brightly lit with warm Georgia sunlight streaming through the enormous windows. He was impatient, waiting for his best friend Adam Copeland to come down the elevator from his room. Both men had really been enjoying all of the time they could spend together now that he had returned to the WWE. There was nothing like an E & C reunion tour. But none of that mattered currently; he was starting to get pissed at his longtime chum. He was hungry, damn it, and Adam was taking his sweet time meeting him.
From seemingly out of nowhere came two blonde beauties. They were damn sexy as far as he could tell with their rhinestone sunglasses on, despite the overabundance of pink clothing. They began squealing in excitement as they practically ran toward him.
"Oh my God, you're Christian Cage, aren't you?! I am totally in love with you, you are the GREATEST THING EVER!" began the first. She was slightly taller and thinner than the other, and he couldn't stop staring at her full lips. What he'd like to do with those lips…
"We totally love you!" anonymous blonde fan number two added in. "We watch you every week, like religiously!"
"Well, thank you" was all he got out, distracted by the giant set of silicone bouncing in front of him.
It was around this time that the elevator doors opened and Adam walked out unnoticed by his very distracted best friend. He watched curiously and moved within hearing distance.
"I'm glad to hear that I still have a few fans as lovely as you two" Jay said smoothly, recovering from his initially stunned reaction.
"Of course we're still your fans Christian! You were so funny when you were partners with that other guy" answered the first girl.
"But now you're a bad boy, and we like bad boys" added the second, moving her luscious curves closer to him. "By the way, I like your English accent."
Jay didn't exactly know how to answer that. I mean, they announced every week where he was from. "Umm…Canada" was all he could think of.
The Jolie-lips blonde, cocking her head to the side and parting her lips in surprise, remarked "Oh, from Canada! I hear it's beautiful…there's Vikings there, right?"
If they weren't so flippin' hot he would have walked away right then and there. He really didn't want them to leave though, no matter how stupid they sounded. So he responded with the only answer that wouldn't offend them. "Uhh…yeah."
Adam thought it was about time to rescue his married friend from the temptation of these two lovely ladies. After all, he was the single one. He walked confidently over to Jay.
Unbeknownst to Adam, fan number one had spotted him and began whispering excitedly in her friend's ear. "Oh, I had forgotten. The camera is in my purse!" was the response of the buxom blonde.
"Will you take a picture with us? Please?" fan numero uno asked Jay, who could only nod before she squealed "Thank you!!!" and turned her attention towards Adam.
He thought perhaps she had recognized him as she let out a loud "Oh! Excuse me…" but his face fell as she finished "Could you take this picture for us? Can you believe it's the real Christian Cage?!" He couldn't believe it. Here he was, Edge, every girl's secret wet dream, and these "wrestling fans" didn't even recognize him. He nodded his head dejectedly and took the digital camera from her hand as they turned their attention back to Jay.
As Adam tried to figure out how the camera worked, the girls had each grabbed one of Jay's arms and pressed their bodies tightly against him.
"We love how 'Rated R' you are. I'd let you be Rated X if you wanted though…" came the slightly husky voice of the blonde hottie number two.
Adam's ears perked up at the mention of Rated R, and he looked up from the camera as the other girl continued "You know, I'd let you spear me anytime…"
Jay, the idiot that he is, especially in the close proximity of the two, said "Umm…actually, that's Edge."
"Wait, I thought you used to be Edge? You were in all those fights with John Cena, and then you moved to a different show!" was the tall one's shocked response.
"No." Jay answered stupidly, and Adam cut in with "Actually, I'm Edge." He grinned cockily as the girls moved closer to him.
"Ashley, he's the one that we like!" said cleavage fan, and the first girl, apparently Ashley, responded "Yeah, he is, I wondered why he would have cut his hair." She looked directly up at Adam and seductively continued "It's so sexy" and caught her teeth slightly on her augmented bottom lip.
The other girl, not to be outdone by her friend, pressed her ample chest against him as she said "After all, you are the Sexy Beast."
"Don't forget that he has his own talk show! And he was Undisputed Champ!" pointed out a slightly miffed Ashley. It had become a heated competition for Adam's attention, but with all of the wrong facts. He just couldn't figure out what these girls were thinking.
"We wish you'd 'Save Us' Edge from these boring nice guys like John Cena" she continued, ignoring her friend's little tirade.
Ashley made a face at the other girl's mention of Cena's name, and added "I wish you'd do that submission thing you do…umm…what's it called Britney?"
Adam looked at her in confusion and unintentionally admitted "Uhh…I don't really do any submission moves…"
"Yes you do!" Ashley insisted, "It's something about windows, or doors, or something?!"
Jay chuckled to himself and decided to interrupt his friend's verbal ménage à trois. "I think you mean the Walls of Jericho."
"Yeah, that's the one!" nodded the well-endowed but moronic Britney.
Jay couldn't help but continue, smirking at his chance to ruin Adam's potential good time. "Chris Jericho is actually the one who does that move, not Edge."
"Oh my God! Chris Jericho is the one we like Ashley! We've got the wrong Canadian!" Britney remarked excitedly.
Ashley shoved her apparent best friend, and pouted "See, I told you his name started with a C!" She turned her attention back to the 7-time tag team champs and asked "Is Chris here too?"
"Yeah, he's here" Edge admitted sheepishly.
"Thanks guys! We've got to go find him!" Britney gushed as the girls turned and walked away.
They hadn't gotten ten feet towards the elevator when they burst out laughing. Then they began tearing off their identical blonde wigs, revealing two heads of gorgeous brunette hair. They were heads E & C should have known very well.
The taller, luscious lipped beauty with the fierce espresso bob was most definitely Christian's new television girlfriend, Aubrey Madison. Jason smacked himself in the head, dumbfounded that he had been unable to recognize the lips he was paid to devour every week.
The second woman was even more surprising. The glistening chestnut locks belonged to none other than Amy "Lita" Dumas, the retired WWE Diva. Adam thought he would have recognized his ex-girlfriend's rather infamous breasts, and he ran his hands through his messy hair as his eyes widened in utter confusion.
The women continued laughing hysterically at their twisted little joke, and they quickly turned around for Amy to snap a photo of the boys in their state of shock. They smugly examined their handiwork as Scarlett held in her laughter just long enough to loudly proclaim to the entire lobby "Now THAT's what I call a Five Second Pose!"