Obi-Wan Kenobi stared hard at the blank, gray wall in front of him.
He could feel the gazes of half a dozen Jedi Masters boring holes into his back. They expected him to be contemplating his actions and their consequences -- his past and his future, so as to speak -- and he couldn't disappoint them, now, could he?
He watched as Master Tahl pulled out vials of pain medication from a cabinet.
None of those vials were for Obi-Wan.
Never mind that he had gone through seven hells and worse.
Never mind that the bones in his right leg had been shattered to splinters and needed a complete makeover.
Never mind that he had to have six surgeries done on his spine to be able to sit again.
Never mind that he had his bond broken without his knowledge or his permission.
Never mind that he was in pain, and never mind that Master Tahl knew that he was in pain.
Master Tahl was not happy with Obi-Wan, and this, he supposed, was her way of punishing him.
He watched as she walked over to Master Adi Gallia, the Jedi Temple's current tragic figure. The two Masters had a silent but furious fight over the pain medication. Master Adi didn't want any; Master Tahl thought otherwise. Both of them pointedly ignored Obi-Wan.
You chose this, Obi-Wan reminded himself sternly. They think you killed Siri -- you told them you killed Siri. Of course they won't talk with you. Don't blame them for believing what you assured them was true.
"Adi, killing yourself won't bring Siri back," Master Tahl snapped finally.
Master Adi muttered something about not trying to kill herself. Master Tahl didn't respond. She simply inserted the hypodermic needle into her arm.
Master Adi frowned. "Are you drugging me?" she demanded.
"No," Master Tahl said with a sigh, "though the Force knows I will if you don't go to sleep tonight."
"Can't," Master Adi mumbled.
"Nightmares?" Master Tahl asked gently.
Master Adi nodded.
"Nightmares" was an understatement. Breaking a bond was a delicate and painful procedure even when both parties consented to it. When one of them didn't, the results were horrific, which was one of the reasons why Padawans didn't get taught how to make and break bonds; that was one of the few things left to be learned after you became a Knight. Obi-Wan knew all about what it was like to live with a broken bond, seeing as to how Master had broken their own training bond after finding out that Obi-Wan had murdered Siri.
Obi-Wan hadn't had any time to prepare for it, he hadn't even considered the possibility that his master might do something like it, and he certainly did NOT know how to brace himself. The two days following had been horrible; Obi-Wan couldn't focus on anything except the pain. He felt as if he were walking on white-hot coals, being smothered by a pillow, getting crushed by the weight of the universe, and worse -- and all of them at the same time. And then, blessedly, he had lost his consciousness.
The pain was still there--raw and terrible, but it was slightly more bearable.
He sighed sympathetically at Master Adi.
Master Tahl glared at him. "Do you want something?" she asked harshly.
"No," Obi-Wan whispered, shaking his head slightly, his voice coming out airy and tiny. He looked away.
But at least Siri only died. All Master Adi had to deal with was the physical problems associated with the breaking of their bond -- and, yes, Siri's death. Obi-Wan felt ashamed to think like that about Master Adi. He couldn't imagine what he would do if Master died; when he had been younger, he had constantly worried about such scenarios and had even tried to sabotage their missions himself. But Master Adi had the support of the whole Temple. Who did Obi-Wan have? His own master had not only NOT seen Obi-Wan at all during the days he had battled between life and death, he had been the one to put Obi-Wan in this condition in the first place.
But he couldn't fault Master for...for breaking the bond. Wouldn't he feel betrayed and angry if his apprentice had murdered a fellow Jedi?
Obi-Wan sighed deeply, trying not to let the pain and the worry -- and the panic -- overwhelm him. He had a lot to do when he got…when he got expelled. He knew that he was going to be expelled -- there was very little chance that he would not get expelled considering what he had supposedly done.
He thought back five years, when he had been -- almost -- thirteen, worried about getting thrown out of the Jedi Order because no Jedi had chosen him as an apprentice. If anybody had told him then that he would lie about something even if it meant getting expelled -- he would have laughed in their face and told them to get an appointment with Master Tahl. He was a Jedi. He didn't know how to be anything else -- he still didn't. But the Jedi Order was more important than any single person, and if it meant that he wouldn't ever achieve the ranks of the Jedi Knights to save it, then he would pay the sacrifice. Then, there was also...
But, Obi-Wan thought. Things could have gone differently if Master hadn't broken the bond. He had never meant to keep this deception on forever -- just until...until he found out -- a way to make things all right -- and that wouldn't have taken long. Weeks may be, a month max. And then he would have told them…and then everything would have gone back to normal. Mostly. He could still have become a Knight…but not anymore. A broken bond couldn't be remade. At least, he didn't think so.
He smiled bitterly and then stared down at his hands when he saw that Master Tahl was glaring at him again.
At the same time, somebody walked into the healer's ward -- well, he didn't exactly walk in; he more like floated in. Obi-Wan somehow managed -- through Herculean efforts -- to not groan out loud. He was pretty sure why the visitor was here: it was either to escort Obi-Wan to the detention cells or to escort him to the Jedi Council Chamber.
But why did they have to send Master Oppo Rancisis? He wouldn't have minded if it was anyone else -- even his arch nemesis, Bruck Chun.
Master Oppo had hated Obi-Wan ever since Obi-Wan had gone on a mission with Master Oppo's apprentice (and some Knights) and only Obi-Wan had come back. He constantly criticized Obi-Wan on everything from the courses he took to the katas that he performed. He was especially fond of blowing every mole hill into a mountain as far as Obi-Wan and his missions went; Master -- not to mention the rest of the Jedi Council -- had gotten so sick of it that he had encouraged Obi-Wan to not put in every nuance into the mission reports, which was a definite no-no according to the Council, but the Council Masters hadn't even complained.
Master Oppo said something to Master Tahl, who, after the slightest hesitation, shrugged and went back to her work. Master Oppo bowed slightly. Then, he steered his hover-chair over to Obi-Wan. Master Oppo was a Thissipian and, like all Thissipians from his native planet, he didn't have legs and so was forced to rely on a hover chair to move about.
"The Council is awaiting you," he snapped at Obi-Wan.
Well, there you have it. The first chapter of a brand new version of Time and Again.
To new readers: this 'fic is going to be a long one, so I hope you'll enjoy the ride.
Toreturning readers: yes, I know what you're thinking: is this the same 'fic that's the bane of Aunecah's existence? The 'fic that's gone through so many changes that it made me wonder whether it might not be afflicted with Multiple Personality Syndrome?
Alas, it's the same 'fic. Neither of the previous two versions have been up to my satisfaction, but I'm hopefully confident that this version will stay.
Aunecah