You are strong. All your life you have been the strong one.
Never even blinking when your mother told you, you looked a pathetic mess. You
were 9.
Never even blinking when others would have howled in pain because your inflamed
kidney hurt like
fuck. You were 13.
Never even blinking when you felt a guy's fist connect with your cheekbone
because you were stupid enough to kiss you girlfriend in an open street of St.
Petersburg. You were 17.
Never even blinking when your mother told you that she was sorry
something like you was allowed to carry the name of the Prentiss family. You
were 21.
Never even blinking when you felt Cyrus yank you up by the hair.
Throughout each and every pain you kept your façade, your mask of strength,
making yourself believe that you could take it. In sickness and in hell, you
were the fighter, the warrior who protected others and stood up for her own
opinions. You never blinked. You never stopped. You never flinched. You told
yourself that you could take it, that you were stronger than that.
Until you hear the sound of gunfire tearing the silence apart.
Until you hear the sound of a human body hitting the floor.
Until you hear the sound of Morgan desperately yelling for Hotch.
Until you hear the sound of you supervisor's stifled gasp.
Until you hear the sound of the priest's voice saying that you were all
mourning the death of Special Agent Jennifer Jareau and your hearts went out to
her husband and father.
Because then you flinch so hard that you hit your head on the doorway you are
supposed to secure.
Because then you feel how everything inside you goes numb and dies.
Because then you feel your legs giving out underneath you.
Because then you bite your lip so hard you taste blood to keep yourself from
sobbing.
Because then you hear your own scream ringing in your ears.
And you don't care that Will and you mother tell you to shut up because no
one needs to know that you and JJ were lovers.