Right.

So this is my first Doctor Who fic. I felt that the end of Series four provided a plethora of new ground for creative... creativeness, or whatever, and after re-watching it all and the christmas special just past over again, I just couldn't control the urge to throw myself headlong into it. So here it goes then!

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Matt Saotome

Prologue

Christmas.

At any time period, it was meant to signify unity, bonding, caring… a multitude of things that so many human beings on one little spec of a planet made their own personal universes revolve around for twenty four hours; seventy two hours; one hundred sixty eight hours; even as much as three hundred thirty six hours if you were lucky enough to be in something called 'junior high' or any grade under.

It was meant to be a time that you spent with loved ones, doing things that you never wanted to do the rest of the year for some reason. It was strange in that respect, Christmas. It almost seemed that the world preferred to be ignorant, whether blissfully so or by choice, for the majority of the year. Christmas was more like an escape for them, but then it made him wonder…

Why suffer the rest of the time if you don't have to?

It was just one of many things that had helped to plaster that 'look' on his face as he walked casually past one of the many levers of his circular control panel and kicked it lightly with mild insouciance. Actually, the million billion things running through his mind were all wrapped very tightly around one thing that he was trying very hard not to think about right now. One woman; whom he had left standing back on that blasted bay… with him.

Literally, with himself. The irony of the situation forced another growl of frustration to slip past his throat. How did this always seem to be the way? Why, for the love of whatever God out there transcended the limitations of time, did he have to be the one who always ended up losing?

Of course, that could hardly be justified in any fair way since, on numerous occasions, people had lost or even sacrificed their lives in the name of some cause that he had created on a whim when he plopped himself down in front of them. Certainly, the causes had been just and true, but that took away none of the selfishness of it all.

There you are: Selfishness. He was, of course, man enough to admit it. How could he proclaim to be so incredibly intelligent if he was unwilling to recognize his own faults? But seriously…

Him?! The universe had finally gone mad. Not to mention the difficulty he had in properly processing exactly how that man he had left standing beside her at Bad Wolf Bay continued to exist. After all, he'd had to completely wipe the mind of one Donna Noble for being human and carrying the smarts of a Time Lord, and his counterpart was proven to be mostly, genuinely, human. It shouldn't be possible.

And yet it was. An existing, albeit incapable of regenerating or staving off age, Human-Time Lord-Metacrisis, defying the laws of nature itself to be with his woman.

He turned and slammed his fist into one of the pillars surrounding the TARDIS' central control platform with a howl of rage. Nothing had ever burned at him so deeply. He was over nine hundred years old, yet he couldn't get past the feeling he was experiencing right now.

Resentment. Terrible, deep resentment. In the last seventy two hours, he had been through rigorous hell in the form of both Dalek and Cybermen alike, saving the planet earth with the help of people whose intelligence had been stolen or borrowed in some way, shape or form from himself. Incredibly bright and undeniably brilliant people, at that. If he was some grand tutor to be respected and followed until the end of said people, then why, for the love of all that was sacred could he never… catch… a break?

She was going to be the one. His Rose Tyler. He would have found a way to defy the laws of reality, as his half human counterpart had done. Human-Time Lord-Metacrisis be damned. Either he would have stopped being a Time Lord for her, or by all the realities in the whole of every aspect of creation, he would have made her one. Somehow…

He slid down the column to sit on the deck, turning his back to lean against the cool metal. First, one tear found its way down his cheek, and then another. Before he realized that he needed to control himself, he was already crying soundlessly. There was no sobbing, no sniffling; no choking… he simply had no control over the tears. They flowed so rapidly that, before long, they were two continuous streams sliding down his face to soak his overcoat. The only thing that damned happening with the Cybermen had accomplished was to delay the inevitable. It had been, at best, a distraction meant to keep this very situation from occurring.

But maybe avoiding it wasn't the way to go anyways. Although there seemed to be no way to meet it head on, either. He could run from it, or he could kneel before it and suffer through pain and guilt until it either passed or mercifully ended him.

Spent, and without current cause or destination, he simply sat on the floor of the TARDIS and allowed himself to cry. Eventually, he'd stop, but he knew the pain would never leave. It never did.

He was The Doctor, and he was always meant to be alone.

Back a little ways in time and space…

Darlig ulv Strandin.

Bad Wolf Bay. Again. He had never been here before, but found it to be exactly what he had pictured. When last he 'stood' on these shores, he was a holographic projection. Just an image. Yet, even now he recalled the magnificent background he had imagined behind Rose as he talked to an image of her from the TARDIS control room… and this had been it! How strange that his mind played such cruel jokes on him.

Now, things were much different than before. He wasn't certain exactly how he was supposed to feel. The TARDIS had just vanished from sight, sending the original him flying back through time and space once more, while he stayed behind.

A mortal man.

What was he supposed to think now? How was he to keep his own mind from driving him insane? After all, he was a living, breathing and functioning Metacrisis. Impossible, but then he had always maintained that one shouldn't say 'never ever'. A million different things were flying around in his brain. He knew what had to happen to poor, poor Donna. He knew that, if the other him was smart, he was on his way to take her home right now. And what of the Daleks? He had killed them all. Thrown the switch, he had, and ended the entire species; Genocide. Why, oh why couldn't he feel remorse for his actions? Should he really, anyways? When up against the scrutiny of one's own eyes gazing back at you with disgust, you get a little uncertain with yourself.

He looked to his right where Rose still stood holding his hand, of all things. His blessed, cursed, gifted yet damned right hand. She was still staring out across the sand at where the TARDIS last sat in all her glory. Her eyes said it all, but with such confusion. She missed him already, yet he was standing right beside her. Her heart was breaking that he had left her behind, yet he had never strayed from her side through the leaving. One thing he could practically hear her mind scream about was the TARDIS herself. He knew she would miss the TARDIS. So would he, granted, but she had been the ONLY other person in the whole of creation to share the same bond with that wonderful, living machine that he'd always shared. So, when a new tear slid down her perfect cheek, he knew somehow that it wasn't for the departing doctor in entirety as much as it was for her faithful companion, the TARDIS.

Perhaps she didn't understand this quite as well as he did. Perhaps she did, but there was no real way to be sure. She had looked upon time itself in its infinite complexities and foreseen it all. From the instant that she shared a mind with the TARDIS until she had no choice but to have that connection severed, she had been hard at work putting it all in motion. She became the Bad Wolf, scattering pieces of her mind through time and space. When she literally dusted the Daleks at Satellite 5, she had known what would happen. Regardless of whether or not she remembered her time as one with his fabulous machine when it was happening, she had still known for a brief moment. Perhaps small little crumbs of that knowledge had never left her, transforming into the driving force in her quest to find him. It all made sense to him now. Even after the threat of the combined Dalek and Cybermen invasion had been overcome, he still encountered Bad Wolf, scattered throughout his travels like a beacon and all the while leading him here.

Darlig ulv strandin.

He squeezed her hand gently, and she turned her eyes to rest on him. The pain was heavy between them. As she finally seemed to understand the full extent of what had just happened, those pain filled eyes grew larger, and his heart nearly split in two at the sight. He didn't waste a second scooping her into his arms, as sobs of guilt and remorse began to rack her seemingly fragile figure. He knew better than that, though. The revelation was coming to him all at once now. The tears she cried were earned. She had done what he had always done, and for the greater good. With the knowledge she had gained on that fateful day when her mind and that of the TARDIS had become one, she had hatched a plan to save the entire realm of time and space. To save all of reality, she had given him up. But amidst the birth of the Bad Wolf, he had scooped her into his arms and taken away the last little bit of information that she had needed to complete it properly. She had tinkered and twisted until she saw the outcome as the Doctor putting an end to all of Dalek kind in her visions and therefore returning the multiverse to proper balance, but before she'd had a chance to confirm the outcome of her literal brain child, he had stepped up to her with those six little words that he loved to use so often.

"I think you need a doctor."

He closed his eyes as he realized that in that instant, he had unknowingly assured that her plans would not bear witness to his own creation and thus sealed the fate of him and Rose, forever removing from her the ability to complete her plans to save the universe and never see him again. And so they had been left incompletely complete in the most unique and unpredictable way.

Oh great mother of time and space, did he ever have a lot to be thankful for. He could only hope that Rose felt the same way.

"Shh," he whispered to her gently. "I know. I know it hurts, Rose. It always does. But I need you to listen to me, because I am so… proud…"

Slowly, ever so slowly, she lifted her head from his chest to look him in the eyes. As he continued to speak, he pulled his arms back and cupped her beautiful face in his hands.

"I am so proud of you. The sacrifices you were willing to make… you're nothing short of brilliant. You're bold, and you're selfless – Rose Tyler, you are fantastic… And I am so proud of you."

As his words came to her ears, she turned from his gaze. Even now, she felt her cheeks burn even hotter at the incredible praise that he was pouring down on her. Praise that she wasn't quite sure was deserved. It was only starting to come back to her in pieces. Now that it had all happened, it seemed whatever block needed to be in place in her memories for it all to sail off without a hitch was slowly disintegrating. It was, all of it, far too confusing to sort through in one go.

As her sight shifted back to the part of the bay where the TARDIS had last stood, a glimmer in the sunlight caught her eye. For reasons unexplainable, she felt strangely drawn towards that odd glimmer. It was like the calling of a long forgotten voice that you heard hints of in someone much younger; like a trust that was just waiting to be formed.

All at once, the Doctor's hands fell away from her face. A look of strange confusion began to slowly develop into wonder, the sting of recent events the only thing that held complete elation at bay.

"Doctor," Rose whispered, never doubting the use of his name for an instant.

"I can feel it," he choked, a smile slowly spreading over his face. "My God, Rose, I can feel it!"

Their hands reached for each other out of instinct as they immediately broke into a jog to cover the few yards they needed to. As they reached the spot where the TARDIS had vanished, they both collapsed to their knees in the wet sand and began to dig for all they were worth.

"It's incredible," Rose said hotly, even though she had no idea what they were digging towards. "What is it?"

As he continued to dig, he began to explain, the words coming out in a rush that Rose could barely keep up with.

"An energy beacon sent out with the intent of alerting anything time related nearby to its presence. It's calling out to try and find its family – Rose!"

He suddenly held an object aloft in his hands with a single 'Hah!' of triumph, and she snapped her gaze to it immediately. There, in the palm of his hand sat what looked like a large coral rock. It was dark and mysterious, yet completely familiar, and from the center of it, you could see the brilliant glow that was gradually swelling. As she looked at it, a faint sound came into her ears, like a strengthening heart beat that wanted to hold its magic inside and wait for the day when it could spring it on the world. With breathing heavy from the speed of their digging, the Doctor finished speaking.

"It's a baby TARDIS!"

"A… baby TARDIS?" Rose asked, somewhat dubious of what she was staring at. The telepathic vibes that it was radiating were completely undeniable, and yet so was the fact that it appeared to be nothing more than a hunk of rock of some sort.

"It's alright if you're skeptical," the Doctor grinned. "I'd expect nothing less, to be honest."

"Oi!" Rose took offense to his statement. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, really," the Doctor replied with a shrug. "Just saying is all. Look, the last TARDIS you were exposed to was not only fully grown, but it had been alive for quite some time. You'd expect a TARDIS to be large, am I right? Of course I am, but to explain I need you to look at the whole picture. A TARDIS that is fully developed and ready for travel has many elements to it. You stared into the heart of the TARDIS before, remember?"

Blankly, Rose nodded, remembering the experience in great detail now. She felt warm butterflies in the pit of her stomach as she recalled what the joining had felt like.

"Of course, the effects are different for a human than they are for a time lord. Also quite a bit different for you, I discovered. Any human that looked at that would have surely suffered severe brain damage almost instantly, if not died altogether. But the TARDIS is alive, as you well know, and learns. It knew who you were, and when you conveyed to it what you wanted it recognized the need you felt to save my life, and took the only action it could. For a brief time, you and the TARDIS were one entity. Certainly unexpected, but the side effects are rather obvious."

"What side effects?" Rose asked, a confused look passing over her face.

The Doctor looked at her with an odd expression for a moment.

"You seriously think that anyone within shouting distance of this little baby's signal can hear it?"

Rose merely scowled, still not getting it. With a sigh, the Doctor pointed in the direction of her mother, who was patiently waiting but also making it obvious that she had no idea what Rose and the Doctor were up to.

"Does it look like your mum has any clue what we're doing? No, and do you know why not? Because she's neither telepathic, nor sensitive to beings born of time. You, on the other hand… are… Rose Tyler."

Silence passed between them for what felt to her like an eternity. She was doing her best to piece together the information that the Doctor was rapidly firing at her, and finally managed to collect her suddenly very scattered thoughts enough to understand what he had just implied.

"I'm telepathic," Rose double checked. "Me."

"Yup," the Doctor replied, popping the 'p' for emphasis. "But continuing with what I was saying; This little guy-"

"Wait a mo," Rose protested, raising a finger to shush him. "You can't just drop that on me and keep going like you never said it. How, exactly did I become telepathic?"

"Rose, you not only looked into the heart of the TARDIS and absorbed the entire time vortex… You and the TARDIS became a new life form for a short while. Now I can't be too certain since I'd never seen that happen before, bit amazing really but then that's just you, I suppose." Rose accepted the compliment with a hint of a smile, graciously allowing the Doctor to continue.

"You probably still have tiny little remnants of the time vortex swimming about in your system, along with a bit of good old fashioned Cerebral… wonkiness or what have you. Look, I'm not really sure exactly how it happened, but the end result is completely undeniable."

"I'm telepathic," Rose seemed to chew on this for a second before her contemplations were interrupted by the Doctor.

"Quite. Now if I may be permitted to continue with what I was saying…" he shot her a playfully annoyed glare, waiting until she finally gave a soft nod. "Thank you. A completed TARDIS is a machine built around an adult version of this little thing. Physical electrical and neuro-chemical pathways connect the grown 'seed', if you will, to the machinery constructed to guide it. Mind you, more often than not the seed decides where you're going for you. I mean, it makes sense since it can look upon the entire spectrum of time and space and pick the places where it feels you may be needed the most."

Rose chuckled warmly, remembering the multitude of times that they would set course for a certain place and time just to end up slightly off from that course. She had always suspected that it was intentional on the TARDIS' part.

"So we have to nurture it then?" Rose asked, deciding that it may be best to look at this from more of a parental perspective.

"That's the idea," the Doctor smiled. "Help it grow. And while it grows, we build the machine that it powers. Now I'm no expert at this, since I only ever helped raise one of these before but give it oh, say nine years with this planet's energy field and we'll have an adult TARDIS… ready for travel."

The Doctor eyed Rose momentarily, the familiar expression of asking on his face that seemed to say to her 'We could do it again, if you want'.

A few quiet seconds passed them by before a full blown classic Rose Tyler smile spread wide across her face. How could she turn down the opportunity to continue exploring the realms of time and space as they had been? Certainly there were things they needed to adjust to, the Doctor's newfound almost humanity being nearly the least of them, but she was more confident now than ever before that they would overcome the obstacles.

Together.

"What on earth're you two doing?" Jackie's voice finally drifted over to them, interrupting the mental brooding that Rose felt she so badly needed to do. "We've got a long drive home, and here you crazies are digging up rocks on a beach."

They both turned to look at Jackie in synchronicity, weighing the same question in their minds for all it was worth before looking back at each other once more.

"Not a word to my mum," Rose stated, to which the Doctor vehemently shook his head in agreement.

"Definitely not."

"Oi! Let's go, already Rose! It's freezing, and I'm in for a cup of tea as soon as I can get my hands on one!"

So... Terrible and pathetic? Has Promise? Good? I'll only keep going if you guys think it's worth exploring, so review away! If no one reviews, then I won't keep writing under the assumption that ya hate it, so if you didn't then please let me know!

Cheers!

Matt Saotome