Disclaimer: Primeval belongs to ITV and Impossible Pictures, no copyright intended, ""My Immortal" was written by David Hodges, Amy Lee, & Ben Moody
A/N: This is a sequel to a previous story "Spiralling" (which is on here, rated M because it involve suicide) . I've taken inspiration from another beautifully sad song "My Immortal" by Evanescence
Abby is struggling to move on after Connor's death….
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
Thursday evening had always been special. It was movie night, and she and Connor would take it in turns to choose what they watched. It was the one night they actually just relaxed. She had lost count of the times she'd fallen asleep on his shoulder, and he'd gently wake her by brushing her cheek. He'd always be smiling softly at her … "Abs…Abs …"
She shivered. It wasn't because the flat was cold, it was simply because that's what always happened on a Thursday since Connor had died. David understood. At first, he'd tried to get Abby to change her routine and make Thursdays mean something else, but realised it was too soon for her, and that she still needed a connection to her friend. He chose to make Thursday his night out with the boys, so that she could have a few hours to herself.
But Abby never felt that this time was on her own. Connor was there. Despite telling her in his letter that he couldn't be around her and watch her be with someone else, something in him was not able to completely let go. Sometimes, as she sat watching whichever movie she'd hired out, she'd feel Connor next to her, it was almost so real she was sure she could actually reach out and touch him, fall asleep on his shoulder again like she used to.
When the movie ended, Abby always felt a terrible emptiness. Connor always left, and the pain Abby felt seemed just as great as it was the day the policewoman told her they had found Connor's body. David would come home and find her curled on the sofa, sobbing. His arms comforted, warmed, but never quite healed. Not on a Thursday.
After a few months, Abby felt the need to change things. It wasn't fair on David that Connor was still a huge part of her life, and despite the hurt she still felt, she also knew she had to move on with her life. Thursday came around as usual, she had decided to watch the original Star Wars movie tonight, knowing it was one of Connor's favourites. There was no need to rent it from the shop of course, she simply took it from the collection on DVDs that had been in Connor's room.
As she settled down to watch, that familiar chill began to fill the room, and she felt him next to her. About halfway through the movie, she took a deep breath, and decided it was time to let Connor go. She stopped the movie and waited. She could almost hear Connor protesting "I was watching that!"
"Why are you still here, Connor?" she said. "I thought you couldn't be around me and that's why you took your own life?"
The room seemed to grow even colder. She could sense Connor's presence even more than usual. "It's not fair Connor! ….. you made your choice to go, and now you have to let me get on with my life. I can't do that if you won't let me go" she was crying. "Otherwise, what was the point of going in the first place?"
Her heart was pounding, this was the hardest thing she had ever done. "You have to leave me, Connor. I have to move on, you have to move on… this is goodbye"
The room suddenly felt warm again, and she knew Connor had gone. This time, she didn't feel empty. He had finally accepted that this was it, and he had let go. She had said goodbye to her best friend, and now, just maybe, she could begin to heal.