Disclaimer: I do not own " Chuck ", or NBC, or any of the other creative parties involved with the television show.
A/N: An AU post 3.08... " Chuck vs the Fake Name " and my notion of the consequences of Chuck's inexcusable actions towards Hannah.
" I hope your lies keep you warm at night... " The words were softly spoken and awful to hear. The words were filled with the heart ache and heart break of a lovely young woman.
Chuck Bartowski was deeply and heartily ashamed of himself. Hannah had accused him of not being a good guy, of being the best liar she had ever met. She was right. Bleak feelings of self loathing raged through his heart and soul in a dark and brooding flood.
Hannah, sweet and lovely Hannah, had done nothing to deserve her treatment by him. Chuck kept walking though his instincts were to return and apologize, to plead and beg forgiveness, to hug and kiss away the pain he had caused. But he couldn't because he was a spy...
He was a spy; constantly needing to lie to protect his sister Ellie and his best friend Morgan Grimes from a brutal and dangerous world. He was a spy whose actions had placed his own brother in law in severe danger on more than one occasion.
More importantly... why was he allowing this? When and how had it become so easy to ignore his own personal code of ethics and morality.
He had loaded the updated Intersect into his head with the best of intentions, but Chuck was beginning to feel that he was no better than the bad guys. He had managed to avoid killing anyone; but what about truth or honesty or integrity? All things that once upon a time he had believed were such an important part of his character, his sense of self.
He recalled the conversation he had overheard between Sarah and Shaw. She had voiced her fear that her Chuck was getting lost in the spy he was trying to become. She was right to fear, obviously.
He no longer felt like Her Hero.
Could he blame her for moving on? After all he had started it in Prague when he chose to become a spy. And Walker had shared her real name with Shaw...
But why a prick like Shaw?
Sarah... Sam... well who ever she was... had been involved with her CIA partner Bryce Larkin before he had sent Chuck an email full of all the government secrets. Chuck remembered the pain of watching her kiss Cole Barker. Yeah, she had a type all right. Good looking heroic spies who were actually pretty decent men too...
So why a prick like Shaw?
Chuck started as he looked around to find that he was parked in front of the closed Orange Orange. Driving through Burbank on auto pilot was not a good thing; especially for a spy. He could hear the Casey grunt in his head informing him that he needed to flush out his head gear.
He sat for a few moments of quiet solitude. He pondered his actions over the past day; considered the past few weeks... hell the past few months. He thought of how his life had impacted Devon and Hannah, and was continuing to impact Ellie and Morgan.
No more! Yes he was a spy, but he was going to be a Chuck Bartowski type spy. Things were going to change.
He decided to start that change by having a long conversation with General Beckman. He had no clue how the conversation would go, he just hoped he could avoid being bunkerized.
Using the situational awareness of the Intersect and years of Call of Duty play, Chuck made his way into the Orange Orange and into the Castle. As the hermetically sealed door sighed open his hearing was assaulted by the guttural, sexual moans of a woman.
Chuck paused just inside the door. This day was just getting so much better... not.
As he hastily turned to leave his eyes fell across the nude pair writhing on Shaw's cot in the detention room. Walker reared back, her sweaty face twisted and flushed; lost in her pleasures.
Oh shit! He so did not need to see this.
Then she opened her eyes. Chuck wasn't certain if she had seen him and faded through the door as rapidly as the technology allowed. As the door slid shut he thought he heard Walker call his name.
Oh yeah! The day was just getting better all the time!
Sarah Walker was a damned good agent with natural aptitudes honed by years of hard earned experience. It was those finely tuned agent senses that jolted an alarm through her raging hormones to her brain; that she and her partner were not alone. Walker opened her eyes to meet cold, brown eyes empty of light and life.
She blinked and saw nothing. She was quite prepared to ignore the raised hackles and assume the eyes had been a figment of her imagination until she heard the Castle door slid shut with a hissing thump.
" Chuck! "
Walker hastily uncoupled herself from her partner with a nauseous sense of panic. What the hell had Chuck been doing in the Castle? She batted Shaw's questing hands away from her breasts. Chuck was supposed to be on a date! She began groping on the floor in a desperate search for her discarded clothing.
" Walker? " Shaw snapped churlishly. " What the hell is going on? "
" Chuck was just here, " Walker growled. Deciding to go commando, she struggled into her tight jeans. She shivered as the tacky sweat and fluids began to cool on her body. Ugh...
" What? " Shaw struggled with the rapid turn of events, struggled with his uncompleted arousal. She thought he sounded rather petulant. " He was supposed to be on a date with Hannah... "
" No shit! Tell me something I don't know, " Walker returned sarcastically. She yanked her shirt on with shaky hands as she walked over to the bank of monitors. She turned them on and keyed in a rapid search.
She found Chuck standing beside the Nerd Herder Toyota in the parking lot before the Orange Orange. He was leaning pensively against the car, his chin propped on his forearms which were crossed on the roof. She couldn't find Hannah any where within the purview of the security cameras situated about the parking lot. What the hell was going on?
Before Walker could further react, Chuck glanced up at the camera nearest him. He straightened and pulled his phone out of his pocket. As his thumbs danced across the keypad, Walker went racing for her purse and her own phone.
It vibrated and she quickly read the text message. ' Beach... breakfast '.
Walker looked back at the monitor to see Chuck slid into the car, his phone pressed to his ear and he was talking fast.
" Walker? " Shaw reached out and grabbed an arm, and tried to snatch her around to face him.
" Don't touch me... " Walker stared at the screen as the Nerd Herd car zipped out of camera range. She shivered again as she had the sudden feeling that everything in her life had just changed; drastically.
An urge for a long, hot shower was overwhelming.
Sarah Walker strolled across the sand, carrying her shoes, and remembered an early morning three years back. Chuck was seated much as he had been then, gazing out over the pounding surf; his back hunched with his arms wrapped about his long legs.
" Chuck? "
" Hey Sam, " he replied. He looked up at her with a slight smile, devoid of the usual friendly warmth she was accustomed to seeing.
Walker sank down beside him. " That's not my name Chuck... "
" Neither is Sarah Walker, " Chuck answered coolly. He was still dressed in the light sweater, shirt and slacks from his failed date.
" Okay... Sam is not the name you know me by, so please use Sarah, " Walker said. " Are you alright Chuck? "
He sighed. " No, I'm not. I guess I'm dealing with another of those existential spy crises moments. I broke up with Hannah last night... "
" I'm sorry, " she squinted at Chuck through wind blown hair. " Why? "
" It was the right thing to do, " Chuck said with a tiny shrug of broad shoulders. " Maybe not the best chosen time as I was supposed to be meeting her parents, and instead I dumped her. You guys put that lovely supper together for us the night before, and I really appreciate that by the way. I just got tired of lying to her... I'm not who she thinks I am.
" I remembered needing to burn Manoosh. I remembered telling him we weren't friends, that I was a spy. I heard you talking to Shaw about your concerns that I was getting lost in all the spy stuff and I realized they are valid concerns... "
" I'm sorry you had to see us, " Walker said quickly. She watched him carefully, trying to get a good read on his feelings and thought process. She was shocked to realize that she couldn't.
" Why? " Chuck said. " Casey maims his bonsai trees, drinks too much Johnny Walker and listens to Neil Diamond. You aren't doing the cover girlfriend thing any more, so you have a right to a personal life too. The Castle might not be the best place for it. Hell, you've had to deal with the Lou and Jill debacles so maybe it's a karma thing... "
" So where have you been the past few hours? "
" I've been at Casey's most of the night, " Chuck returned. " I was talking to General Beckman about things. We talked about the kind of spy I wanted to be, I got some surprising back up from Casey on that. Then we made some plans, got some details worked out... "
Walker felt a chill run through her body that had nothing to do with the early morning ocean breeze. " Plans? "
" Plans. " Chuck continued to gaze out over the pounding waves, scenting and tasting the rich sandy, salty air. " It hit me last night just how much danger we are in because of Shaw... "
" What? " She turned on her butt to face Chuck.
" The Ring is aware that Shaw is alive, and that assassin guy Rafe Gruber was hired to kill him. The price tag was a cool million dollars, " Chuck continued. His voice remained eerily dispassionate. " Shaw is obsessed with stopping the Ring, and before you say anything, I know why. He broke the cardinal spy rule and fell in love...
" But Shaw isn't the super spy he thinks he is, or have you forgotten how badly he pooched the museum mission? And before that he'd been less than honest about the whys and wherefores of my first mission, and you were right, I wasn't ready. Shaw walked into the Castle and almost immediately started destroying Team cohesiveness, and we'd been a damned good Team.
" He's been pushing me into being a spy, his kind of spy, the kind he thinks it will take to destroy the Ring. I bear some of the blame for that 'cause I let him do it. I let him stroke my puny little ego, I ignored the advice of my friend, and I've become an arrogant prick just like him. I've sacrificed my beliefs, my ethics, my morals to do so... but no more..."
" Go on? " Walker said quietly, her words nearly lost in the boom of the surf.
" I talked with Casey and Beckman and they agree that the longer Shaw is a part of this team the greater the danger to the Team and my family. " Chuck finally turned and faced Walker. His face remained expressionless, but the eyes were tortured and bleak.
" Beckman has been looking into things on her end and has been unable to figure out just how bad the Ring has infiltrated DC and the Intelligence community. So we are going to take the Intersect Team and Project and go completely black op as a private contractor. We'll need a liaison between us and the NSA, the CIA and the various Intelligence committees in DC...
" I want you to be that liaison. "
" What? " Walker was stunned. This was going to be much worse than she had feared it might be. She knew she was loosing Chuck. " Why? No! "
" Yes, " Chuck replied. His eyes were fixed on hers with just a hint of the friendly warmth and concern of the old Chuck Bartowski. " It is time for you to reconnect with who you were Sarah Sam Jenny; with who you want to be. It is time for you to stop being a spy and learn to be just a girl... "
" Chuck, " she pleaded, her voice thick with tears.
" I need someone in DC who knows me, who with Casey can help me keep track of the kind of spy I want to be, and need to be... who will have mine and the Teams best interests at heart. I want that person to be you. " It was Chuck's turn to plead. " You will no longer be an agent with the CIA, in fact you'd be working for me... "
" Alright. " Walker sighed and made the tough, heart rending choice to accept. The blue eyes were serene once more as she slipped back into her professional spy mode.
" Thank you. "
She turned back towards the ocean. " We didn't stand a chance did we? "
" Before I loaded 2.0 into my head? Before Prague? Who knows... " Chuck clambered to his feet. He groaned as stiff muscles and joints protested painfully. " If I hadn't had to develop and then burn an asset and really start to think about and better understand our relationship from day one? "
" Oh shit, I'm so sorry Chuck! " Walker winced.
" No worries Jenny... you've done good work here, and I'm proud of you. " Chuck looked down into the amazing blue eyes of his CIA handler and realized that he was still terrible at reading them. " Are we friends, Jenny Sam Burton? " he asked.
" Yeah, we are. " She held out a hand and allowed Chuck to pull her to her feet. She brushed the sand from her seat and pondered the name. She had grown attached to Sarah Walker, but it had some baggage now. The new one would work as well as any.
" Hey guys! " Daniel Shaw swaggered into the Castle with a smug smirk. " Say, have you seen Walker? "
" Walker and I don't socialize, so not for a couple of days, " Casey grunted. " And just where the hell have you been the past couple of day? "
Shaw frowned as he glanced about the Castle. " Looking for Walker actually. How 'bout you Chuck? "
Chuck shook his head. He was wearing his Nerd uniform as he had the swing shift at the Buy More. " Nope. I've been dealing with some personal stuff... sorry. "
Shaw's frown grew darker. He glared at both Casey and Bartowski. There was something about their lack of concern that was beginning to bother him.
Chuck glanced at the large monitor at Shaw's back. " Good morning Director Burton. "
" Good morning Team. " The voice was coolly familiar. " Ah, Agent Shaw, I'm glad you are there. "
Shaw glanced back at the blond hair and glacial blue eyes of Director Burton. He spun, his mouth dropping open. " What the hell? Walker? "
" Agent Shaw, your services are no longer required by the Intersect Team, " Burton said calmly. " Chuck has your separation and non disclosure paper work ready to go, and as soon as you sign them, you will be free to leave. "
" You can't do this! " Shaw snarled his outrage, his dark eyes had narrowed dangerously.
" Actually yes I can, " Chuck murmured.
" What? " Shaw spun again, this time to glare threateningly at the Nerd.
" The Team and the Team mission have changed some what, " Chuck said dispassionately. The brown eyes were steady and cool. " This is my Team and I don't need or want you on it. "
" The Ring... " Shaw blustered. " What do you mean your Team? "
" Will be dealt with along with other bad dudes, " Chuck replied.
Casey grunted a dry chuckle.
Shaw took a step forward, his neck corded, the knuckles of his fists popping. " You son of a bi... "
He froze as he felt the business end of a Glock tap his sweaty temple. His eyes darted to the side to meet pale blue eyes and a vicious grin.
" Be very careful shit for brains, " the NSA Colonel grumbled. " I'd say don't do anything stupid, but I'd like you to try so I can shoot you... "
" Stand down John, " Director Burton said.
" Not until he has been disarmed, Director, " Casey growled. " Of course if Shaw here agrees with a full body cavity search... "
" Point taken, " Burton sighed. She knew the NSA agent well and knew she would not win this round, so why bother arguing.
" Do you people really think you know what you are doing and think you can get away with this? " Shaw returned his glaring attention to Bartowski, who had remained seated at the conference table.
" Yes, " Chuck said simply. " Granted, I've got a ways to go as a spy, but I'm the Intersect, and with Casey and Director Jenny's help, I think we can build a good team and do some serious damage to the Ring and other bad guys... "
Shaw felt Casey's hot breath as he growled into his ear.
" I think you are an arrogant tool, Shaw. You waltzed in here and started fucking with Chuck's head which happens to be my job. You also began screwing with the Team chemistry and the Team morale. It's not all been Chuck's fault though he'll argue with me on that. You've been the Team leader, so you bear plenty of the responsibility for the fact that we've been doing a pretty shitty job as of late. I think you are a pathetic excuse for a special agent, but then you are a CIA puke... nothing personal Director... "
" You are fine John, " Burton drawled. " And as I no longer work for the CIA, I happen agree with you. So does General Beckman, and for the moment that's what matters. "
Chuck finally eased to his feet. " We need to wrap this up people, we have a long and hopefully productive day ahead of us. We thank you for your contributions Agent Shaw, and let's see if we can avoid ever doing it again. "
" I will... " Shaw's face twitched with his impotent black rage.
" You really don't want to finish that thought, " Chuck said. The words were harshly clipped and his eyes were cold as death. " Casey might take it wrong if there's a threat... "
" Agent Shaw, " Director Burton spoke. " Let me make one thing very clear. If you do, say or think anything that could be perceived as a threat to the Team, to Chuck... I personally guarantee that your ending will be most unpleasant... "
" I can personally guarantee there won't even be a grease spot left, " Casey rumbled.
Chuck flipped a manilla folder open on the conference table and handed Shaw a Buy More pen. " You just need to sign and date on the dotted line at the bottom of the three pages and you are done here. "
Growling wordlessly, Shaw took the pen and scrawled his signature in the required places.
" Thank you, " Chuck smiled mirthlessly.
" Agent Shaw, you are expected to report to the CIA Director of Operations for reassignment at your earliest convenience, " Burton said. " John, if you'd be so kind and escort Agent Shaw from the premises... Chuck, is everything ready? "
" Yes Ma'am, " Chuck replied with a faint return of the Bartowski grin.
the end