Chapter 1

Decades after 2018, the world fell into an Internet Dark Age. Censorship reigned supreme and people were too afraid to challenge the legacy media. Leftist swill and neocon agendas were being pushed by the corporate media, creating more sheep. 4chan was banned, twitter censored every dissenting opinion that existed. The world had truly been cucked. Only one beacon of hope remained: Styxhexenhammer666.

It was a typical day for Styx, who was chopping a tree for firewood. He attended to his garden, planting leeks, peppers, and the like. His cats were helping him with his daily routine, such loyal and courageous feline friends they were. Styx wiped a tear from his eye as he remembered the passing of Cleopatra, his favorite cat. "Fuck it," he said. "It's time to get to work." He finished his gardening and his chopping and sluggishly returned to his home, his old age catching up to him. He put on his leather jacket, his spectacles, and his good attitude despite the bitterness he typically felt on a morning such as this. Youtube had removed his account, bitchute was shut down, and any free speech site was taken down. Any upload of an opinion that contradicted the government narrative would be punishable by imprisonment. Styx had sadly lost his way and stopped uploading videos. However, on this day, Styx decided that enough was enough. It was time to take a new stand against the powers that be, a renaissance of free speech was necessary to break the boring, irritating existence that people had. He turned on his computer, switched on the good ol' webcam, and began articulating his thoughts.

"Alright everyone it's time to talk about censorship. It seems that the corporate Democrats and the neocon Republicans have won. There's been next to no opinions that clash with the establishment. Now, I'm 70 years old. I don't give a fuck anymore. I'm gonna make this video in the hopes that people see it and wake up. Vote out these tyrants on the local level if elections even exist there and try your best to stage massive protests against the two party system. At this point, vote for a shitty Libertarian or a shitty Green Party candidate if they're the choices. Do what you need to do to spite these bastards, and I'll say this: if the good Left and the good Right united together 40 years back, we could have averted this catastrophe. Our government is a disaster, the world is in chaos, you can't hold private thought; I wouldn't be surprised if the government tried to implement a mind control device far worse than either CNN or Fox News. I predicted this would happen, you know. Did I not constantly talk about this back in the mid 2000s? I did. Mm *spoon clanks*. Frankly, what little hope I have in humanity will be destroyed if this video doesn't go viral. Do not be afraid to resist the establishment. Your money and property aren't worth anything if you don't have the freedom to do with them as you wish. That's about all. Peace out".

Styx uploaded the video on the Internet, knowing it'd seal his fate. Either the video would be taken down very quickly and no one would notice, or it would go viral for a short time and then it would be deleted. Either way, Styx would be condemned as a traitor to the nation, as the 1st Amendment had been revoked, and the United States people were too cowardly to do anything to put a stop to it. A day later, the video gained millions of views, but was of course taken down. Styx was crafty in evading detection from the Internet Police for so long, but it was inevitable that he'd get caught at some point. A knock came from the door, and Styx grabbed his weapons: a giant staff, a bow and arrow, and his 10.2 inch long dagger. The door came busting down as the Internet Police team came in. Styx smashed a few skulls in close quarters combat, he stabbed a few anti-free speech Internet Police, and his bow and arrow impaled someone's eye, the scream of which was very pleasing to Styx. Fat from the morbidly obese Internet Police was everywhere. However, Styx could only do so much, as the Internet Police would drag him outside of his house, imprison his cats in cages, and would line him up against the wall of his house. "I thought you guys hated guns", said Styx. The fat antifa pig-like leader responded "We do, just in the hands of anyone who opposes the globalists. We campaigned on gun control while the government secretly armed us, and it worked." "Any last words?" said the leader of the Internet Police, a fat, antifa looking, piece of shit. Styx said "Yeah, fuck you, you shitfucks. That's about all. Peace out". The fat antifa pig-like swine fuck leader ordered his men to fire on Styx, but because this was the Internet Police force, they missed most of their shots, and they were on full auto! However, Styx would still die in a hail of bullets. Blood sprayed everywhere, and Styx fell to the ground, his organs shot up, his spirits broken, and his glasses destroyed. The darkness began to take hold of him as he embraced death and his heart no longer beat.

Styx awakened and saw a green light. The most beautiful green light he had ever seen. As his vision adjusted, he noticed that he was among clouds. The green light that he saw was a mysterious, frog shaped figure. The figure said to him "Hello, Styx, we've been expecting you". "Who, who are you?" asked Styx quizzically. "I am the almighty God Kek, Styx. The earthlings knew of my great presence and posted me everywhere, which pleased me. I was worshipped as a sign of free speech, edginess, and humor. However, people abandoned me, and I disappeared from history, only known to a few." "What am I doing here?" asked Styx, eagerly awaiting his fate in the afterlife. "You were once a great defender of free speech, Styx. Unfortunately, the sheeple rejected you and all other free speech advocates, as the government had become too powerful, too corrupted, and tyrannical. What a shame it is that such a great nation devolved into nothing more than a totalitarian shithole. We gods rarely intervene in human life, but I am going to give you a chance. I will bless you by restoring your life and giving you a holy weapon in order to defeat your enemies. However, you will need to accomplish 3 tasks that I set you, and if you succeed, you will be deemed worthy of revival and of the holy free speech weapon, but, for now, rest, for you are in Limbo, and your spiritual body must recharge itself. We will discuss your tests in 10 and a fifth hours. Good night, Styxhexenhammer666."