Title : Grandpa Dear
Character Focus : Mitsui Hisashi
Based on (fic) : Hidden Feelings
Genre : One-shot angst
Dedication
: 1) To my dearest late grandmother, who passed away on the 10th of
June, may she rest in peace.
2) To Moon Glow, wishing her site a happy belated birthday.
3) To my big sister, SyiveSe, who once told me that Mitsui was her
favourite SD character.
4) To everyone who is reading this.
The game meant more than life itself to him. It was the only thing that could satisfy and quench his inner thirst, his desire. With it, he felt complete freedom, as if he was free from all barriers and customs- flying freely high up in the air, expressing himself in a superior way. Every burden that tied him down to the ground began to decrease in weight and size each time he started dribbling, hearing the melodious rhythms of his bouncing 'best friend'. A rhythmic sounds no longer a stranger to his ears, ever since the day he learnt to walk.
For as long as he could remember, basketball has been a part of his life. Mitsui Hisashi and basketball, the two words had long been mingled into oneness. They were no longer two, but one noun. Both had been united, blended together in an indestructible bond. Whenever he faced injustice or unhappiness, he would run to the game, forgetting every sorrow deep within.
Of course, there was still 'him'. The one who introduced basketball into his life. The only one who showered him with affections in his life. The one who motivated him through every obstacle. Someone he loved wholeheartedly, but never had the chance to reveal his feelings.
His beloved grandfather. Mitsui Kyoritsu.
You were there…
Each time I needed you
You never failed
To be by my side
A guiding stay you are
Illuminating my days
Mitsui Hisashi came from a moderately wealthy family, but the life he led was no bed of roses. With materialistic parents who lived only to earn money they could never have the chance to use, his life was a lonely one. Or rather, he would be alone in the world, if not for his loving grandfather.
"Happy birthday, Hisashi," the girl besides him whispered softly, giving him a quick peck, bringing his wandering mind back. She gently laid her head on his chest, while he smiled as his put his arms protectively around her, embracing her tightly. She was another one of most important things in his life, other than his grandfather- his soulmate.
"Thinking of your scarred past again?" she asked, noticing that he was being 'vacant' again.
"Sort of," he told her, forcing a
smile. His mind traveled back to a decade ago-the year his grandfather
left him, forever.
"Sashi, what time are you returning home later?" the aged man asked his only grandson, the young and lively boy who were to inherit the Mitsui family's fortune- Mitsui Hisashi.
"Six, grandpa. After my usual basketball practice," he replied with a cheeky smile. The truth was, his practice was only up to five in the evening, but he had planned something special for his grandfather. Aged people tend to grow more forgetful, Mitsui chuckled at how the one standing in front of him was no exception- for he forgot even his own 60th birthday.
That day, leaving home was hard for him. Every step seemed heavier than the one before, his heart aching with every each step. There was a sorrowful feeling, something sour, within him that gave him the feeling that he ought to stay home, instead of parting with his grandfather. It was a queer, reluctant feeling he could not explain, not less taking it as an omen of a catastrophe about to strike in the near future. He even looked back several times in a mere few steps, wondering if he should just stay at home. If only he listened to his heart.
Basketball practice that day was not a smooth one for the young Mitsui. He made several mistakes, being oblivious to the surroundings. It was unusual, for he was always high-spirited, playing and practising with full-concentration. After being hit by a ball passed to him twice, the team's captain let him rest by the courtside. He could not explain his ignorance, not how his mind was just not stacked for the practice.
After practice, he hurried to a gift shop, picking up the embroiled heart-shape pillow with 'Happy Birthday, Grandpa!' beautifully stitched on top and a 'matching' oval pendant in which a photo of a six-year-old him sitting on Kyoritsu's lap was sealed in between. It took his entire two months' pocket money just for those. Leaving to pick up the birthday cake he had ordered the previous day, he met a few of his classmates.
"Mi-chan, fancy meeting you here!" they greeted him, then invited him to play a few games with him in the arcade center. Without much consideration, the little game maniac agreed. The boys placed their usual 'space missions' which Mitsui was extremely good in. As he was playing against the 'final boss', a trance suddenly caught upon him. Trying hard to regain his consciousness so as not to lose, he heard a soft cry for help ringing in his mind, far more superior than his friends' faint voices which were asking about his condition with concern.
"Grandpa!" Mitsui yelled, all of a sudden. He looked around, his friends were looking at him in concerned, worried expressions. Grandpa is in trouble, he calls me for help. He needs me… NOW
He rushed home, ignoring everything else. He had forgotten about the birthday cake, about his worried friends. The only word registered in his mind then was 'grandpa'. Even until a decade later, he could not explain why he was in such a state, or how he knew his grandfather needed him- he just knew.
You said you love me
You were the only one who mattered
You meant everything to me
Yet you left me
You left me, without saying goodbye
As I go on
Lingering…
Waiting…
For your return
He was half an hour too late. As
he reached home, he found his unconscious grandfather. Panicked, he tried
calling his parents with no success. He thought of calling the ambulance,
but in such nick of time, he forgot the number. He even forgot how to search
for it in the telephone advisory guidebook. The only thing he could do
then, was to run to the nearest hospital for help. That lagged another
hour before Kyoritsu was submitted to the hospital for medical help.
"Father, mother! How is he? How is grandpa?" 14-year-old Mitsui demanded, tears in his innocent eyes. The older couple looked at their son, then each other, and shook their heads sadly. Mitsui refused to accept the silent answer. He continued to look at his parents intensely, begging, forcing, for a positive reply.
"Sashi, grandpa is gone…" Mrs. Mitsui's voice trailed off.
"Gone? What do you mean gone?" Mitsui demanded, his voiced echoed through the alleys. He looked at his beloved grandfather, lying peacefully on the bed. No, not exactly peacefully. He seemed to be breathing with much difficulty, but he was just sleeping; at least, that was what Mitsui wanted to believe. He was just not prepared for the fact.
"Boy, please be prepared. Your grandfather received treatment a little too late," the doctor told him gently, yet his soothes sounded like condemns to the younger boy. Mitsui glared at him.
"Shut up! What do you know? You…
you deceiving doctor!" Mitsui yelled at him. "He survived the operation,
can't you see that? Are you blind? Grandpa has, but only a slight case
of high blood pressure, nothing else. You hear me? Nothing else!" Everyone
else could only look quietly as the young boy's sorrowful sobs filled the
patient's room. It took him months to realize, or rather, to accept
the truth; that his grandfather's brain cells were damaged due to lack
of oxygen. Parts of his cells had first been stuck, causing his fainting.
Mitsui's unwise rescue had brought him to the worst condition- a 'living
corpse', breathing and alive, yet without memory and knowledge, or ability
to recognize anyone in his life… and in a state if coma. Knowing that his
delay was probably the main cause of the misfortune tortured his soul for
many years to come.
Two months have passed. Mitsui was finally starting to accept that dreaded truth. Deep within, he knew very well that it was only a matter of time before the older man takes his last breath. Yet, he continued living in optimism, believing that a miracle would happen. Perhaps, the old man would wake up one day, all against the blue. A few mornings, he woke up smiling, for he dreamt, the previous nights, that the doctor apologized to them for showing the wrong result. Disappointed as he entered the world of reality, he wondered how long could he live with such torment day after day. It was too much for a young and innocent child like him.
That fateful day, Mitsui woke up with a new confidence. His dream that previous night was a convincing one. The doctor actually showed them the 'actual' result, in which only 15 percent, and not 85, of Mitsui Kyoritsu's brain cells were dead. Even better, the unconscious man actually woke up- and talked to him. He remembered those words clearly; "Sashi, why are you so dejected? You know grandpa hates to see you sad. Promise me, that you'll be happy all the time, no matter how unpromising your surroundings may be."
He woke up in the hospital- his new home since two months ago. Since Kyoritsu moved in. Since his parents were too busy for the ill man. Since they placed him in the first-class room (One patient in a comprehensively 'large' room, complete with bathroom/toilet) where nurses only came in once in two hours or longer, requiring at least one family member to stay over the patient's sake. This, Mitsui more than willingly volunteered, without any protest from his parents.
Checking Kyoritsu's condition before
leaving for school, Mitsui was so relieved to see his breathings getting
softer, seemingly with less trouble, indicating (to Mitsui) that he was
getting better. He left for school humming happily, truly believing that
he would receive good news by the time he finished his classes and basketball
practice. Perhaps he was just too inexperienced and spoiled to realize
that the 'living body' had reached its limit, and was getting weaker…
Upon reaching the ward that he had been staying at for two months, confusion extended throughout Mitsui Hisashi's thoughts. Why were both his parents there? He quickly gave himself a positive answer; a smile crossed his boyish face. As he approached them, his smile instantly disappeared. Something did not seem right. Why were they crying? He stared at them questioningly, but they refused to meet his eyes. He quickly rushed to his grandfather.
And he saw…it.
Mitsui's whole world stopped.
Just as Kyoritsu's body, pale and lifeless, stopped breathing.
I believed in you
I always did
Yet as time passed
I can't help but wonder
Do you really love me?
Or do you not?
You told me before
Numerous times
That you love me
Yet you left me alone
Without saying goodbye
Without telling me why
Without letting me know when
"Grandpa? You're playing a joke on me, right?" Mitsui asked, his voice shaking, realizing he was holding his breath. He slowly approached the body, his energy being drained out with each step. He held 'its' hand as he kneeled down. So cold, so dead…
"Grandpa? You told me you would be fine. Grandpa? Grandpa? Stop fooling with me, grandpa! Answer me!" Mitsui's squeak quietly turned into a firm command. He was trying hard not to cry, trying hard not to let those tears make their ways out of him. It has to be a joke. It just has to be. How could his young grandfather, only sixty in age, really died? That was simply impossible! He was still as fine as ever before he was unconscious. They must be joking, trying to scare him, to make a fool of him.
"Sashi, grandpa is d-"
"No, stop lying!" Mitsui cut off his mother's sentence. "Can you not see? He is just pretending! Look, he is ready to laugh at us anytime now. Anytime… now…" Tears began to roll out of his eyes. Tears of unexplainable sorrow and loneliness. He quickly wiped them off.
"Grandpa! Grandpa? It's me, Sashi. Don't scare me anymore. I promise I won't make you upset… anything! I'll do anything… grandpa… just wake up…"
Realization finally hit him, entering his mind slowly. He broke off- into an endless flow of tears. He cried for hours. Once in a while, he would cried out aloud, scolding "Liar" at no one in particular. He was condemning his dreams, his cunning, deceiving dreams, which led him to believe the untruth, much unknown to his confused parents.
He continued condemning himself, for not returning home earlier that day when it all happened.
For not staying at home when his instincts told him.
For agreeing to visit the arcade with his friends when it was his grandfather's sixtieth birthday.
For forgetting the number to contact the ambulance.
For not bidding a proper final goodbye.
For he never told Kyoritsu that he loved him.
For he was not there when Kyoritsu left the world.
There was so much that he wanted to do; so much that he wanted to share with his grandfather. He could never find the time to do so, due to his school activities and basketball practices. Even girls could occupied the times he intended to use for his grandfathers. No matter how much he regretted it, it was all too late. He could never have the chance to talk, or even see, his grandfather again.
You left
Not knowing the damage
You did to my innocent heart
Never having the chance
Even to bid
A last farewell
Do you…
Do you know?
You're the best thing
Ever existing in my life
That…
Will stay a fact
For life
Since then, basketball was the only thing that mattered in his life. The only thing he turned to at times of need. He returned home only after eight each night- merely to bath, complete his homework, and sleep.
Then he met Mr. Anzai- an exact duplication, a chip of the block of Mitsui Kyoritsu. Well, perhaps Mr. Anzai was plumper. A lot plumper, to be exact. Mr. Anzai was a coach he really respected, especially for his advice. It was not merely because of his looks that Mitsui felt warmness towards him. It was something beyond that. Seeing him, hearing voice, strengthened his will. He made up his mind, and he attended Shohoku High, the school in which Mr. Anzai coached its basketball club. One could say it was his biggest mistake, that he should have attended Ryonan High, Kainan High, or even Shoyo High. Yet, as time passed, no one could help but agree that his choice to attend Shohoku High was definitely right- it changed a spoiled-brat, with thorns and burdens in his heart, into a matured young man whose heart was longer filled with thorns, but roses.
During his practice in Shohoku High, he injured his knee due to over-competitive spirit. It was a great unfortunate for him. Furthermore, his injures would take a long time to recover, thus disabling him to partake in the Inter-High Elimination. He went against the doctor's advice, causing his injures to take a longer time to recover. In addition, his injures were severer due to his disobedience. Watching everyone playing basketball, a game he loved so much, yet not being able to play it himself, hurt him deeply. Most would think it was his jealousy towards Akagi Takenori that he laid basketball aside his life. True, Mitsui Hisashi was a vain, immature kid then, but he was not someone who could easily be swallowed by jealousy. It was the emptiness that he felt, not being able to play basketball, not being able have Mr. Anzai's attention. His scar was only deepened when no one seemed to notice him being missing when he did not return. No one seemed to care for him. Even when he was hospitalized, Kogure Kiminobu was the only one who visited him in the whole of one month. Yes, including his parents, who merely sent him 'Get Well Soon' cards at the most.
Grandpa…
If only
You were here
To scold me
To tell me I'm wrong
To tell me what I should do
I'd not have wasted
So much precious time
He did trying basketball by his own after that, but his injured knee would not allow him. His aggressiveness caused negative side effects to his injures, which took two years to fully recover. Life was an empty one for him without basketball. For Mitsui, nothing mattered after the accident. He walked the dark route, joining bad companies, making friends with the 'wrong' persons, even partaking in fights, ignoring his injured knee. He was only trying to fulfill the emptiness within him, if only one would realize it and brought him back to the right path. If only he met 'her' earlier. If only he realized earlier, that the doors were opened for him. If only one would take the step to lead him to one of the opened doors. If only…
Not only he failed to fulfill the emptiness in his soul; the vanity in him grew with each passing day. Before he knew it, he was no longer the innocent, optimistic, 'rich brat', but a young 'gang' leader, filled with hatred, pessimism and blames towards the world. He despised the sight of others playing basketball happily, the sight of a happy child with a family's love. He blamed everyone but himself, that he was to live a trashy life; that he was nobody and no one would ever care for him. Not after Kyoritsu left him. Even the only one, whom he truly loved and trusted, betrayed him and left him alone to suffer in the dark world.
At his third year in Shohoku High, he was injured by Miyagi Ryota and was hospitalized for another month. It was the beginning of his rapid increase of abhor towards the basketball club. Perhaps he did not really changed. Deep inside, he was still the same spoilt-brat, refusing to let other enjoy something he could not. Refusing to let anyone stop him from doing what he wanted. Everything that he wanted, he had to have it. The fact that the basketball club members continuously made a fool of him only added to his anger, and aided his plotting to destroy the club.
I made myself believe
That you do not care
That you do not love me
That I no longer need you
No longer love you
That you are nothing
To me now
I was wrong
Grandpa
You still meant
The world to me
However, seeing Mr. Anzai, and the shadow of Kyoritsu, made him repent immediately. At that instant, he knew exactly what he was missing, what he lacked of, and he made his decision- to play basketball again. No longer was he controlled by his pride, no longer a lost child in the vast desert. The child was brought back to home. Back to his original place. Mitsui Hisashi started playing basketball again. One could say it was only a coincidence, but Mitsui knew very well that it was his late grandfather's blessing that his knee was completely healed around that time. For Kyoritsu knew, the young fruit has reached its time, ready to ripe.
Shohoku High's basketball team, a weak team which lost during the first match the previous year, won second place during the Inter-high Elimination, Mitsui being one of top/most important scorer. The once weak team even beat Sannoh High, which once ranked first in Japan, during the Inter-High. With basketball entering his life again, he began to realize the true meaning of life. He met and learnt to accept many other people who played important roles in his life. Akagi Takenori, his present best friend, and past rival, one who indirectly caused him to leave the basketball club in the first place. Kogure Kiminobu, a close friend who was understanding and trustworthy. Miyagi Ryota, once mortal 'enemies', yet soon befriending each other and shared a rather intimate friendship. Sakuragi Hanamichi, the self proclaimed-genius (whom he loved to tease) who happened to be more than a fool everyone thought he was. Rukawa Kaede, his 'intra-team' rival during high school years. Mizuno Ayako, a team manageress who managed Shohoku's basketball team with skill. And a lot more. His final year in High School had been most memorable. And meaningful. The year he started maturing in life.
Then he entered university- the same one as Akagi. They soon became best friends. He often studied at Akagi's place, where he could feel the warmth of a family. There was where the fated meeting between him and an exchange student from Malaysia whom Akagi's family was hosting took place. After going through so much barriers, they realized they were meant for one another. After she tried escaping from his love due to her 'love' for another, she finally realized that it was Mitsui whom she truly loved. However, time was limited and she had to return to her home country.
Still, God was kind forevermore. He brought the two lovers back together after years of separation, their love for each other stronger than ever. That night, on his 24th birthday, Mitsui was glad he could celebrate it with her, and the rest of his good friends, those who showed him true virtues of life. He looked at them, mostly his friends since high school, some his friends during his 'dark ages'. He was even happier that his parents had actually allocated some time to attend the 'party'. Even Mr. Anzai was there, as a special guest.
"Mitsui-kun, what are you waiting for?" Akagi asked teasingly. He blushed as he looked at his taller best friend. He looked around; everyone else was looking at him mischievously. All of those 'grown-up kids'. His parents were smiling at him encouragingly. They knew… trust Akagi-kun and his super-big mouth not to blabber it out to everyone, he groaned inwardly.
He stared at the girl beside him, brushing off her front hairs that covered parts of her eyes. She had always looked so pretty to him. The only one whom he could share his innermost feelings with. They both faced a similar obstacle in life, and thus understand each other well though each chose a different path, leading to the same future.
"I have something for you," he whispered, directing it to her alone. He groaned again, inwardly, as the others' eyes sparkled in excitement. She tilted up her head to look at him, her eyes so charming and attracting, never failing to give him a sensation of love and excitement.
"Hisashi… it's your birthday! I should be giving you a present," she protested shyly. Mitsui grinned naughtily, while the others held their breaths, waiting eagerly for the scene.
"I will give you a present first, and you'll just have to give me my present by accepting my present," Mitsui told her with a small laugh. She looked confused. The others were enjoying themselves.
She gasped as Mitsui kneeled down before her, showing her a small gift box.
"I, Mitsui Hisashi, now ask Riyula Ling-Er, for her hand in marriage," he announced, "Riyula, will you marry me?" Everyone cheered as soon as Mitsui finished his question, watching Ling-Er's expression. However, the cheer quickly died down, as Ling-Er did not reply.
"No," she replied firmly after a moment. A complete silence was formed.
"Ling-Er-chan," Akagi Haruko called, followed by a few other female audiences.
"Why?" Mitsui spluttered, totally taken back by the rejection. He was not prepared for it. Could it be, that she still could not love him? Could it be, that she still loved that 'person'?
"You'll have to put on the ring for me, at least," she retorted, smiling teasingly, proud that she had gotten back at everyone for not telling her what the 'surprise' was earlier. Claps and cheers were heard, filling the hall as the young couple embraced and kissed, openly for the first time.
Grandpa… I know you are watching over me. I will live a happy and meaningful life. Don't worry about me anymore, you can count on me not to disappoint you again. You have been with me all these years, and now… I have so many other friends who were also walking this way of life with me. Furthermore, I have Riyula. They are all trying to make my life better, just like how you tried to improve my life when I was younger. For you, grandpa, I'll always be happy. Because…
For the first time in years, the burden crafted within him was released. He no longer felt pressured by anything. It was a feeling of freedom and serenity that he had long forgotten. That was how he felt as a child, happily enjoying basketball with his beloved grandfather… the golden moments of his life- before all the challenges in life came in.
Grandpa dear… because I love you. Forever.
Time passed
Things changed
The world may change its fashion
Replacements took place
Nothing is quite the same
As yesterday
Yet
Grandpa
My love for you
Is for eternity…
~THE END~
Author's Note : A sort-of spoiler for Hidden Feelings.
Hope you like it.
Note II
: Anyone who is still interested in the continuation of 'Hidden Feelings'
please drop in an e-mail, or leave a review telling me so. If there
are more than... 5 who are still interested... I'll continue it. :)