Forgive Me, Forget Me
By Usuratonkachi1
Dedicated to somebody special
Forgive me, forget me
If I die, then let me
As I love, as I die
As I hate, as I cry
If I weep, can you forgive?
If I leave, will you forget?
I leave, yet I remain
I'm gone, but I come again
Could you forget me?
Would you forget me?
Could you leave me, never to return?
All of this, would you unlearn?
Would your back, you turn?
Would for life, you yearn?
His heart was gone, ripped from his chest as if it had never been there, yet put back incorrectly so it might never function again. In its place was a roiling mass of dark feelings, hate, gloom, death, loss, anger, and most of all, suffering. His eyes were sore from holding back the floodwaters of his heart. But now, the waters were overflowing his dam; she had rejected him for the last time. As the tears fell, he could no longer hold himself back. He let out a solitary sob, then, with a heart rending, wailing cry, he flung himself at her feet. She kicked him away, saying,
"Don't touch me, you useless piece of shit."
But he just cried harder and clung onto her again. The dark mass of emotion, this feeling so deep in him came roaring out, like a lion springing upon an unsuspecting gazelle. As he mauled and clawed her, he came back to his senses, and started to run, run away from what he had done, run away from the memories of a painful love, a love that was never returned. Oh how the pain of unrequited love burned, burned his chest, burned his throat and eyes with tears, and most of all burned his heart away, burned it to a crisp so that it floated away on the next zephyr, to be carried away and never returned. And yet, there it remained in his chest, a burned, useless organ. There was a slight kindling in his chest, of future love that he might find, but as he ran and hardened himself to the outside, made himself impervious to emotions, that slight flame was extinguished. Oh, how he longed for the light and heat of the outside world, where love existed almost abundantly, where all his dreams could have been fulfilled! As he ran, he became cold and unattached to anything, floating, drifting, wandering, and stumbling his way through life. Nothing could cure his broken, scarred heart. It turned to ice and crumbled; how a few words could thaw his frozen, barren wasteland of a heart and let him start anew, and yet the same number of words could shatter them and scatter them to the winds was beyond his comprehension. She had loved him before, how could she hate him now? How could he have been so blind, so clueless?
He clutched at his heart as his mental anguish became physical torture. He stumbled along until he found a clearing, and lay there to rest. His fingers trembling, his mind reeling, he reached for his flask of sake. Taking a long pull, his fingers returned to normal, albeit with a light tremor once in a while, and his mind returned to a semblance of sanity. He realized what he had to do; he had to die. Either way, he would. He had become an S-Class Missing-nin the moment he attacked her, and ANBU were coming to find him this minute. He chose to die his own way, to choose his fate as his father before him chose his. He reached around his heaving torso to grab a kunai. He brought it downward toward his wrist, but stopped as he heard that dreaded, horrible, beautifully melodious voice again.
"Stop! I have to say this before you go!"
"What?"
"I HATE YOU! I HOPE YOU DIE!"
With that parting statement, the female turned on her heel and stalked off into the woods. That solidified his resolve. But instead of continuing with his previous effort, he decided to do something better. Taking out a pen and notepad, he started to write,
'Dear All who read this,
By the time you read this, I will have died and been long gone. I am committing this sin because I have lost all I have; my father died nobly for his family that disowned me, my one and only love has left me and humiliated me, telling me to die, and my cousin has officially declared to ignore me. I cannot go on living this lie of a life, this semblance of existence, this remnant of animation without going more insane than I already am. Therefore, I have my last Will and Testament to the world upon which I leave so peacefully.
'I hope that for you, Sakura, that you continue love and cherish Rock Lee as I once imagined you would love me. I would die for you, but I wont now. It is useless for a dead man to love, and dead is what I am.
To my best friend, worst rival, and hated enemy, I hope that for you, Rock Lee, that you love Sakura as I would have loved her, with kindness, with respect, with compassion, with an open mind, and with passion.
To my cousin, my bitter friend, I hope that for you, Hinata, that would grow stronger than I was, and that you will open your arms to the person who truly loves you.
To the world, I don't blame you. I blame me. I have come to this conclusion knowing what will happen. And yet, I can't feel the inkling of hope that one day, the world will change, will become a place better…
Sincerely,
Hyuuga Neji of the 'White Eye'
After he had sealed his letter and left it by his side, Neji took his knife and cut. He hacked until his flesh was in ribbons, until the ground ran red with his blood. His life was bleeding away before his eyes, and all he could do, all he wanted to do was watch. His life did not flash before his eyes, and instead, the visage of a person he used to love appeared in his eyes. However hard he tried to remember all the good times he had had in his life, all that he could remember was what had made him angry, what had drove him to commit this unspeakable act, this sin in the eyes of God, what had justified his actions; he could only remember his being a caged bird, wanting to fly free, but not being able to. Tears fell freely down his face, and his last coherent thought was of one and only one thing.
"Sakura, please forgive me, forget me, and love me forever."
Could you?
Would you?
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2007--------------------
A/Ns: I was going to end this with "WTF, I must have drunk too much sea water. My eyes are leaking!" but I felt it ended on too happy of a note to go with the emo-ness of the story.