Disclaimer: I do not own "Psych" or any of its characters.
I love her. I always have, and I always will. Even now that I'm going to lose her.
I had a partner before her: Barry. Barry wasn't bad to look at, and even that idiot Spencer pegged the fact that she and I were sleeping together. But it never meant anything, not really. I was trying to get over Victoria –not doing very well, but trying– and Barry was a cheap hit. But O'Hara… Juliet O'Hara… from the moment I laid eyes on her I knew she was special. She was worth so much more. I was her senior officer and head detective of SBPD, but that didn't really seem to matter anymore. I was her friend, her confidant, her partner. And I vowed soon after meeting her that I would stop at nothing to protect her. I knew she'd never feel for me the way I felt for her, but I didn't care.
When she got attached to that pain, Spencer, it was like a knife through my heart, but I didn't stop protecting her. I told Spencer that if he ever hurt her in any way, he would have me to answer to, and I meant it. Spencer was just the latest in a long line of poor choices: arrogant Special Agent Ewing, rich-boy fraud, Declan, that wishy-washy sap, Scott. Through it all I was there; I ignored my own breaking heart so I could fully tend to hers.
When Yin kidnapped her, I leapt into action. I ignored the chief and risked losing my job because I didn't care about my job in that moment. If that monster had killed Juliet, he would have killed me, and I'm not being hyperbolic or metaphorical when I say that. Once Guster and I did save her, she tried to pretend she was alright and didn't need any help. I knew better, so I stayed behind as the other officers let her be. When she fell into my arms and began to weep, I just held her and ignored the tears welling up in my own eyes. I had never been more frightened in all my life than by the thought that I almost lost her. No one knew, but as I held her on that clock tower she looked up at me, she tried to form the words… but then she seemed to abandon any attempt at speaking and simply pressed her lips to mine instead. There was no other way for me to react: of course I kissed her back, and it was the single most wonderful moment in my life –which I'll admit has not been full of wonderful moments.
But after that special exchange, things were different. She seemed embarrassed at her "moment of weakness", and drew back almost immediately. "Carlton, I… I'm sorry. I never meant…" she trailed off.
"Look," I said, holding her face up to mine, "I don't care, alright? I love you, I've always loved you, and I'm going to keep loving you until the day I die. No matter what. Do whatever you want with your life, I don't expect you to let me hold you back, and I'm not going to try to, but whatever you do, wherever you go, I'll be here for you. To the end."
She gave me a weak smile through her tear-stained face and said, "I'll remember that."