TOASTER

AUTHOR'S NOTE!

Hello! Before Karesu and I begin, I'd like to say that this story calls for a dramatic voice. We're sorry, but that's how it was written, and if you don't use dramatic voices (real or not, it doesn't matter) this will just sound dumb. Or maybe not, but we still suggest it! Oh, and before we forget, this story WILL contain and hint at YAOI, YURI, and the like. We find bolding things help people. Yaoi is boyXboy, Yuri is girlXgirl. Don't like don't read.

Warning: We bold and italisize seemingly random words for emphasis. You've been WARNED!

Disclaimer: we don't own anyone in this story except ourselves and our friends. This saddens Karesu, who would love to glomp Reno. And this saddens me, because who wouldn't want the organization to themselves?

Summary: Axel goes into TOASTER, a gay bar, only to find it empty save for two odd bartenders. He decides to help them out and brings some friends later on. Strange adventures, both funny and romantic, unfold from day to day. Who's the boss? What's with the guy across the street? How on Earth is TOASTER supposed to become the most popular bar in the city? More questions, more answers. Read on to find out!

Susan: Did I do a good job Karesu? Huh?

Karesu: Shut up. And you! Readers! Get on with the story!

This should be all, so on to Chapter One!

Chapter One (Karesu's POV)

You, yes you! What do you think you're doing in the middle of someone else's thoughts? Or maybe that was just the wind… then again maybe not because I'm not outside! I guess none of that matters really, because I could really use the company! You don't talk much do you? No matter, I talk enough for at least two people, maybe three if the timing is right.

Where are you? That's simple, you're at my work! Well, not that it's really exciting… and I can count the customers on one hand… but that won't take away our pride and joy saying! 'TOASTER, the best bar on the block!' not counting that we are the ONLY bar on the block.

We make the best bloody marries here, but not too many have had the HONOR of tasting one. But that's getting off topic. What is on topic? The fact that when I was RUDELY interrupted, I was in the process of using my newly acquired ninja skills, right off the mission impossible DVD, and making sure the coast was clear.

Leaning over the counter top, I looked left and right, up and down (you don't know when someone is going to fall from the ceiling). Very quietly I spun around wildly, stopped swiftly and looked around. Nothing happened. I looked around again, everything was silent and I sunk behind the counter, whipping out my PSP and started to play… Iraq War II. I was about to kill Bush, you should HEAR that man whine… in a really weird accent too, thank goodness he isn't real. Anyway, I was about to kill Bush when…

"DIANNA!" It was my boss.

"Actually I prefer to be called…"

"Dianna!"

"But…"

"Dianna!"

"Fine, Dianna… What do you WANT?"

"Stop playing VIDEO GAMES and get to WORK!" he marched through a door and out of sight.

I looked at my screen and huge letters informed me that the game was… over. I had been pwn'ed by Bush… that's sad.

So what do I do? I gasp out loud, fall back dramatically, and shriek.

"Who the fuck are YOU?" I shouted. There was a really tall (or that may be because I was laying on the ground at this point) red-head above me, leaning over the counter. His green eyes were quizzical, and I could almost SEE him thinking 'well this is rather or odd' or 'damn, why is such a weirdo working at a place like this, I THOUGHT I WAS SAFE!' most likely the second one.

"Uh, well, Axel. And I, uh, heard you guys have some good bloody marries." He replied.

I jumped up and brushed myself off. Grabbing a glass and some vodka I said, "Yes, we do. I am proud to say that they are the BEST bloody marries on the BLOCK! Ha! I take it that you'd like one."

"Yeah, kinda. My brother Reno said he stopped by this place while waiting for his laundry to finish. You know the guy?"

I stopped shaking the drink for a minute. My memory flashed back to the wonderful moment of Reno walking through the doors like the God that he is, and saying, 'Scotch on the Rocks please'. Yes. That was worth hearing.

"Nope! Never heard of him!" I slid the drink to Axel.

"Shame." He said. "Maybe your buddy there met him?"

"Huh?" I said, twirling around.

"Hey Karesu!" Susan said, striding over with her head in a book. "Your shift's over. You're free to…"

"NO IT ISN"T!" I screamed. "YOU LIE! YOU LIE LIKE A RUG!" Axel snorted and Susan looked up.

"Oh my god. We actually have a customer! And you didn't scare him off! That's wonderful!" pause "Hey, he looks kinda like the guy you were raving about. You know, red hair, eye tattoos…"

"Susan, if you value your life, that sentence will stay a fragment. Got it?"

"Ulp. Yes Karesu." Susan set her book down and turned to Axel.

Axel smirked. "So you did see my brother. Huh. Interesting." He finished the drink. "Well, thanks girls. That wasn't half bad." He laughed at Karesu's pout, then stopped abruptly. "You two… aren't… uh, doing anything together are you? I mean, um, seeing as this place is, uh… a, um…"

"Gay bar? Nah. Two of us? We just work together." Susan said. I looked shocked.

"Susan! You mean to tell me you don't love me anymore? I thought we had something special!" I grabbed her arm, and she looked slightly aggravated. "I'll do ANYTHING to make it better! Was it—the games? I'll give up my PSP for you!" It was Susan's turn to look shocked.

"You'd really do that? For ME?" Suddenly the two of us realized that Axel was giving us a funny look and scooting away.

"WE'RE KIDDING! We're just kidding!" We screamed in unison.

"I wasn't lying when I said that we just work together." Susan said.

"Yeah! Don't leave! You're our only customer!" I added.

"But I'm DONE with my drink, and I kinda have to leave anyway." He scratched the back of his head and quickly made his escape… or something like that. He headed straight for the doors when all of a sudden, CRASH. He ran into our boss, who was blocking his way, arms spread.

"You haven't paid yet." Was all he said to Axel.

"Oh." Was all he had to say in return. Susan quickly walked around the counter and to his side.

"That'll be 250 munny bub." She said, holding out her hand.

"Don't say bub. That's rude. It's like pointing out he's a jackass for not paying us. Isn't that right Axel?" Axel got the hint and paid up.

"See Susan? All it takes is a little patience and some kind words. You're a good guy Axel. But I still think you're a tinsy bit of a bastard for not leaving a tip. After all we've done to entertain you too…"

"We'll never get anything from him. Then I'll go broke and have to eat my puppy." Susan said quietly.

"It's all right. We'll chop up this insolent little fuck and barbeque him. Cannibalism may be frowned upon, but I think it's okay, seeing as he's an asshole, not a human."

Axel couldn't stand it anymore. "Alright, alright. Here! Buy yourself a life." He said to Susan.

"Yay!" She shouted. "A great big hug to you!"

"Now wait! I wanna hug him!" Axel kinda twitched at this.

"Are you two drunk?" He asked, turning to leave again.

"Nope! You got lucky. You caught us sober! Well anyway, goodbye and see you in hell!" I said, smiling sweetly.

"Bye Axel! I'll miss you, my favorite (only) customer!" Susan said, waving like the spaz she is.

"…" our boss decided that his duty was done and walked out of the room, again.

"Jeez, no wonder this place is empty." Axel said. He took a glance over his shoulder. Susan was pointing at me and I was glaring at her.

"Seriously, it isn't our fault." I said.

"Yeah. Everyone goes to those weird twins' bar on the other side of town. Nobody comes here. Nobody's heard of it." Susan said.

"Except for that dude across the street who yells at us at random intervals of the day."

"Yeah. Everyone else who's heard of it pretends it doesn't exist or bashes it 'cause we're a gay bar."

"Those who are gay stay away because this is one of the least popular places. It's better to be seen in Kairi's and Namine's bar then this dump."

"What was that?" our boss said, peeping through a door.

"Nothing!" I said in a singy-songy voice.

"You can imagine, can't you? If you're friends with jocks but end up finding out you're gay. What are you supposed to do? It'd be easier to be seen as a "cool" gay then as a lame, candy-assed, emo/loner dude who drinks bloody marries while waiting for lunch in this wasteland."

"What was THAT?" came the voice again.

"NOTHING!" said Susan in the same tone as me. Axel laughed.

"Well, you know what? Seeing as I've got a few friends, and you all think I'm such a bad guy, I'll recommend this place. You know, to show you I'm not the devil. How does that sound?"

"That sounds like two raises and a lot of fun!" Susan said, jumping around. Axel laughed again.

"Meh, I'm not convinced… you're actually helping our cause? Likely story. Oh, and I'm not convinced about that whole 'being the spawn of Lucifer' thing." I gave him a hard look.

"Don't pay attention to her! Telling you to go to hell is… is… her way of showing she likes you!" Susan said, beaming with pride.

"Got to hell." I said, looking her dead in the eye.

"But you say that in the most LOVING way possible, right?" she asked, batting her eyelashes at me. I just shrugged. "Meh."

"Alright, but truly, I've got to go now girls. So, I'll see you later." Axel said with a wave.

As he was about to cross the street to his car, I screamed out "Bring Reno with you!"

Axel screamed back, "Who's Reno? Didn't think you knew he existed!"

"I don't! Bring him anyways!" I returned. Susan just smirked and whispered, "Life is gonna get interesting."

Boy, was she right.

THE AFTERNOTE!!!!

Hello all you strange people! Karesu and I are so thrilled you've gotten this far! Together, we have thought up many different plots, and be warned because we're in most of them. But that doesn't change the fact that it's about Axel and all his little buddies. We promise more will come in soon! If you don't hate them, that is.-.-

Susan

Feh. I am amazed you actually took some time to read this… the story not just the note. If you enjoy it, I guess you can review. If you hate it, you can review TWICE with about ten pages about how much we suck. Then you can read the updates, and the process starts all over again. Have fun with that.

Karesu

P.S. We don't work at a bar of any type yet. Please don't murder us if we spelt or said something stupid or wrong. Instead, give us helpful criticism. Thank you!