Rating: M15 for extreme angst.
Spoilers: Lady Heathers Box.
Summary: Catherine learns a hard lesson in forgiveness.
Disclaimers: I don't own them, they're just cohabiting in a corner of my mind space. I'm not even charging them rent.
Catherine flicked through her mail as she waited for Grissom to arrive and hand out the night's assignments. The guys traded barbs about the latest round of football results and Greg worshiped his coffee. An unusual letter caught her attention. No return address, her name written by hand, the writing seemed familiar. She moved to open it but before she could Grissom entered and the night began.
Sara had called in sick. An almost unprecedented event noteworthy in itself. Catherine was surprised to realise she hadn't even noticed her colleague's absence, but then ignoring Sara had become something of an art form to her in the past months. Catherine had no time for her. No time and no interest, other than that required for their job. For Sara had committed the ultimate crime. She had failed Catherine and worse, she had failed Lindsay. Eddie's killer went unpunished, it was Sara's fault and Catherine had expected better.
Intellectually she knew that they could only follow the evidence and when the evidence ended so did the case, but somehow she had thought Sara would find the truth anyway. She had trusted Sara to give her justice, but she hadn't and thus was Sara banished from Catherine's life and Catherine's bed. No amount of begging for forgiveness (and there had been a lot) would change her verdict.
The familiar thoughts took only a moment to pass through Catherine's mind, hardening her heart against her fleeting concern for the other woman she gathered her assignment and went on with her life, the letter forgotten in the mystery of her latest job.
Hours later, her shift at an end, finally Catherine had time to finish looking through her mail. The curious letter held two paper clippings and a note. A drug dealer freshly released from jail found dead, his home ransacked and bullet in his head. Clearly his co workers weren't happy to have him back. The second a girl, barely even a woman, a wanna be singer with the pink long gone from her hair, unable to cope with what her life had become she had ended it. And the note: "It's not exactly justice but Cat I did my best."
The papers join her stomach on the floor as too late she recognises Sara's writing. A mad dash to Sara's home, her first since that night, her fingers a restless beat on the steering wheel as her mind tries desperately to deny what she knows to be true. Her frantic knocking goes unanswered so she uses the key she never got around to returning. The place is as empty her heart. Her tears fall as she finally realises her true loss.
The next day Grissom finds Sara's resignation on his desk. Leave taken in lieu of notice, no explanation and no forwarding address. He storms into the break room demanding answers. Catherine fingers Sara's 10 word confession but says nothing. With her silence she buys Sara's freedom, a belated pardon for a crime never truly committed.
end