"Together Again"
"Together Again"
5/21/11
Dedicated to Line (Moonlit dark) for being a great sounding board, fun IM buddy, and all around Supergirl who only uses her powers for good (when people are looking).
DGM and all characters therein belong to Hoshino Katsura. I'm just borrowing them for a bit.
**This takes place at DGM Manga Chapter 205, page 29 and onward. One-shot. The dialogue is slightly different than the one offered in the scanlations that are out there. Truth of the matter is, the dialogue in here is actually more accurate (well, more literal) than the one in the scanlations on mangareader and mangastream. The translator admitted to playing up the drama a bit and so he changed around the sentence structure a little (especially in the "I love…you, and everyone else at the Order" muck up. That's not what Allen says or how he says it. What is written here is the closer, literal translation).
Allen felt a keen sense of purpose for what seemed like the first time in a long while. Standing utterly alone underneath the forest canopy, his senses began to focus and coalesce into a fine point - His skin bristled at the sharp coolness of the breeze that wended through the dale, raising his gooseflesh, and he was suddenly hyper aware of the sound of the rustling leaves as if each were small bells ringing independently from their branches. The moon, full and observant, cast Allen's shadow into a long and forlorn figure on the ground, stretching it as taut as he felt himself to be.
With a final sigh of resignation, he opened the Gate for what he decided would be the last time.
"I will never ask for help from the Ark anymore...from now on...not from the Noah...not from the Order...
He felt her there before he ever heard anything; his senses now eclipsed by the overwhelming presence behind him. He slowly turned.
"Lenalee!" he said, expectantly.
How long had it been since he'd last seen her? Too long, came his own swift reply. He tried to take in the sight of her as fully as possible: Windblown hair wildly framing her oval face, her labored breath visible in the cold night air, and her eyes - her worried eyes brimming with a small measure of hope as well as dread. She was radiant. Somehow he could feel the power of her Innocence pulsating in sync with her roiling emotions which she was barely containing. She stopped several feet away from him.
"Where are you going...?" she asked, tentatively, trying to quell the rising panic in her voice. "You'll get in trouble using the Gate like that..."
"I know..." he replied. She was trying so hard. And so he smiled, wishing so much to reassure her but understanding too well that her concern would not be assuaged so easily.
And then she knew - He was leaving. He had already decided. It was plain to see in that broad, easy smile of his. But he could not hide, never from her, how the edges of his smile were laced with regret. So her carefully constructed binds started to unravel and quickly snapped out like broken coils. Why…
"If you leave, you and I...we will have to fight one another!" she cried, clenching her fists at her side, unable to look at him, still unwilling to acknowledge that her greatest fear was coming to fruition before her very eyes.
No...never... "I know," was what he found himself saying instead. "You can kick me as hard as you like..." he tried, as he grinned sheepishly. He knew it would be in vain but he couldn't stop himself from wanting to somehow comfort her just as he couldn't seem to stop himself from moving toward her. He was being drawn in as much as it was his own body feeling compelled to be near her now more than ever.
"This is not the time to joke around...! Lenalee exclaimed. Pieces of her world had been falling for a while but now she could almost feel the rumbling beneath her feet, heralding the movement of a huge foundation. She braced herself. At least she thought she did. Then why were her knees trembling - as if she herself would fall through the gaping chasm soon to be created.
"Lenalee..."
She heard him call her name. What got her attention, though, was the hitch she was able to catch in his voice, even though it was not much above a whisper. She started to look up. Was he...?
He had to keep himself from crushing her to him. Unwilling to expose her to whatever abomination his left arm espoused, he reached out and pulled her to him with this right arm and held her there closely. He felt Lenalee's quick intake of breath as her body went rigid in shock.
Truth of it was he was rather surprised himself. He had never been the type to show much outward affection to others, regardless of how much he esteemed them. It just wasn't his way nor was it how he was raised. He wasn't the recipient of such things as he grew up. And though he had believed in Mana's love for him for most of this life, Mana was always a proponent of propriety and manners, never doing much more than giving Allen piggy-back rides or ruffling his then moppy brown hair every now and again. Allen had always acted as if he didn't like it but, secretly, he yearned for the next occurrence, the next affirmation.
Thinking of such things made Allen clutch Lenalee to him that much more, desperate and wanting. He should have done this a long time ago. He shouldn't have wasted so much time; time he no longer had.
"No matter what happens, I'll always be an Exorcist. Even though we may take different paths, that will never, ever change," he assured her, speaking into the side of her neck, softly blowing against strands of her hair with each word.
He felt her shudder and relax against him so he held her firmly, enjoying the weight of her in his arms.
Lenalee's Innocence de-activated then and whatever strength was left drained away from her. She let go of the tension in her shoulders, leaning into Allen more, and her legs gave way.
Allen continued to support her and slowly knelt down, gingerly taking her along with him. Their melded shadow cast on the forest floor was of one huddled being, not of two separate entities.
"I love The Order...where you are...where all of you are," he whispered into her ear, earnestly. I wish I could tell you how much. I wish I could show you...
He was loathe to leave her. Now, more than ever, his understanding of her was crystalline. But Tyki was right, as much as he wanted to deny it. No matter where he was, at this moment, he only caused chaos and conflict to those around him. If Lenalee were to fall casualty to these "monsters" within...
And so he would leave. He would tame them or slay them. And then he'd return. Looking at her face, this was something he knew without a doubt in his mind. He stepped one foot back into the Gate, allowing himself one more glimpse of the face that would keep him anchored to who he truly was and who he truly wanted to be.
"It's my home," he continued, "always and forever."
He took another step back into the Gate, now almost fully engulfed by the exuding light. But he reached out, one last time, to stroke Lenalee's face tenderly even as her tears began to fall and change the planes of her lovely visage. You're my home, Lenalee.
Lenalee's words were caught in her throat. There was so much to say but it was already too late. She had started off tentatively but now she wanted to shout it all out in one long confession. He would not hear it. He was gone and all that was left behind were the shattered remnants of the Gate that had stolen him away. When she finally began to breathe again, the air fed her tears and they freely flowed. Taking in stilted, staccato breaths a little at a time, she finally opened her mouth to proclaim to the mountains everything she had been feeling.
As the Gate shattered behind him and the view of Allen's world and all he held dear disappeared, the last sound he heard was all the torment and agony accumulated in Lenalee's cry:
"ALLEN!"
He closed his eyes…and kept walking.
THE END
A/N: The title for this fic (and what instigated it) came from this song from DJ Sash! Called "Together Again". The lyrics are as follows…(verse 2 is in Danish. Maybe Moonlit dark will translate it if we ask her nicely ):
"Together Again" (by SJ Sash!)
It's been a long long time,
Since I left you all alone,
You need to know I had to go,
Far away from you.
I'll walk in this wasted land,
No one to take my hand,
Tell me why you came that way,
I don't know why.
[Chorus]
I don't know where
I don't know how,
But I only know,
That one day,
We'll be together again
[Verse 2 (In Danish)]
Siden jeg gik fra dig,
Føles livet lang og hård,
Men jeg tror jeg kommer mig,
for tiden læger sår.
Jeg ved ikke hvor,
Ved ikke hvordan,
Men jeg håber kun at du en dag,
Vil være hos mig igen.
No, I don't know where,
Don't know how,
But I only hope that one day,
You will be with me again.