Chapter 1: Hatred

A/N: Sorry I haven't really been active lately I got really busy with school and such, and then I decided I would reupload this story (was "Pain") so it was better and such. :D I hope it's better than before, at least!

Warning: Contains self-harm! Don't say I didn't warn you if this is triggering to you!

Lovino took a deep breath as he looked at himself in the reflection of the bathroom mirror. There was so much wrong with how he looked, he couldn't stand it. Unlike his brother who always had his hair going the right way, and his eyes sparkling when he saw something he enjoyed, Lovino was the complete opposite. His hair was tussled and was an ugly shade of auburn. His eyes had lost all sense of life and were now a dull brown.

He sighed and look one last glance at his reflection before he reached out for the trusty blade that always brought a slight sense of relief as it sliced through his skin and drew the beautifully dark blood from the wound. He pulled up his sleeves and tried to find an available spot on his arm to place his next few cuts. His arms were full. He would have to overlap. Quickly cutting through the skin and tearing some of the healing scabs, he bit his lip as not to cry out and have Feli and Nonno find out about his self-harm problem.

After he was feeling slightly dizzy, he rinsed off the blood and wrapped his arms in white medical tape to make sure the blood didn't bleed through his favorite tomato sweatshirt. Putting the razor back in it's hiding place, he pulled his sleeves back down and headed out of the safety of the locked bathroom door and out into the living room.

He groaned in agony as he saw Feliciano draped over his boyfriend on the couch.

Feliciano looked up almost immediately as he heard his twin brother groan from the other side of the room. "Lovi!" he squeals. "Good morning!" He jumped up and went over to his brother, nuzzling his chest.

Lovino stood there nervously, not really used to so much affection or being noticed in a positive way. He slowly pat Feliciano's shoulder and laughed weakly. "Good morning, fratello…" he mumbled under his breath, letting out a sigh of relief when his brother let go and pulled away.

Ludwig, Feliciano's long-term boyfriend, had come over as well, carrying both his own and Feli's bags. "Come on." he said with a gruff voice to Feli.

Watching the two leave brought more dread to Lovino's chest. Yet more things that he was jealous of: Feliciano had a boyfriend, and no one bullied him for it because his boyfriend was a football player and would beat the shit out of anyone that hurt Feliciano. Lovino knew that Feliciano was gay ever since he learned the term because of how flamboyant his brother was. Lovino always admired girls for being so pretty, but he always had more of an interest in men. Varying from his brothers luck, he had never been in a relationship and people beat him up for being gay whenever they got the chance. Sometimes the bullies would just beat him up or call him names just for the hell of it.

When Lovino finally made it to school, he braced himself as he heard the unmistakable laughter from Gilbert. His least favorite person, possibly in the whole world. When Gilbert got over to him, he snickered in Lovino's ear, "Hey gay boy, how's your face feeling after I bruised it up for ya?"
Lovino held back the insults threatening to spill out of his mouth and instead stayed completely silent. He was basically nothing to Gilbert, he had learned a long time ago mattered and usually only made things worse. He was greeted with a fist thrown at his side. He yelped quietly, getting the wind knocked out of him with just the single blow. He looked around, desperately hoping at least someone would care that he was being hurt and would help or get a teacher's attention. But it didn't work. It never did. No one cared. No one cared that he was just another human being with feelings and a life that was being abused and tormented. All because he was gay. He was a mistake.

What Lovino didn't notice until then, was that someone was talking to Gilbert. Quite angrily, he might add. Slowly turning around, he looked up at the tan man, studying his angry emerald eyes and curly chestnut hair as he yelled at Gilbert for hurting innocent people.

'Innocent?' Lovino thought to himself. 'He's not beating me up for no reason… I'm gay. I'm a mistake…'

Once Gilbert had finally left the scene, it was just Lovino and the tan man. He smiled kindly at Lovino, his eyes full of joy and comfort now. Lovino was at a loss of words for his savior.

"Hola! I'm Antonio~! Antonio Fernández Carriedo I'm new here! Do you think you could show me where the office is so I could get my schedule?" he asked with a heavy Spanish accent.

All Lovino could do was nod meekly and tear his eyes away from the beautiful stranger, Antonio Carriedo.

A/N: Awesome! First chapter is finished! I'll try to update pretty frequently since summer is here now, but I'm really sorry if I end up taking forever because I get really bad writer's block sometimes and I don't want to make a chapter that says I do because I hate when people do that cuz then you get excited! :P Well please review and tell me how you liked it! I take reviews into consideration on making my writing better as well as just motivation to get me to write!

Thank you so much for reading!

*~Justabandgeek~*