Kinda lame story. Random. Short. The end of summary. No offence to straights, bis, gays or tom Cruises.
"Hell, Ron, where's my pants?" Harry said.
"Surrounding my feet," Ron answered.
"ARE YOU USING MY PANTS?" Harry bellowed.
"Yes," Ron told him, honestly.
"You gay?" Harry beamed.
"Yes."
"No?"
"Yes."
"So you say yes to the fact that you're not gay…"
"Yes," replied Ron.
"You bi?"
"No."
"Straight?"
"No."
"Tom Cruise?"
"Yes."
"Oh, I love you," said Harry.
"You're gay."
"Yes."
"Hermione?" asked Harry.
"Yeah?" she called back.
"Are you straight, bi, gay or Tom Cruise?"
"I'm none."
"What then?"
"I'm Rihanna."
"Oh," Harry said, confused.
"So now there are five different major sexualities," bemused Ron.
"I'm gay, you, Ron, is Tom Cruise, and Hermione is Rihanna. Who's the bi, and who's the straight one?"
"Lupin is bi. I saw him snogging Hagrid and Tonks yesterday," answered Hermione.
"Oh."
"Who's straight?" asked Ron.
"Joke Rolling." Hermione, again.
"Who?"
"Joke Rolling. She made us."
"You mean Jei Kei Rovu-Ling? That Japanese?" Harry asked.
"No. She means Jean d'Kath Lingeranc In The Fire. She got the last part of the name when she was burnt –In The Fire, of course. Original name was Jean d'Kath Lingeranc. French." Ron pulled some impressive facts out of Harry's pants now. Harry wasn't wearing them at the moment. Harry's the gay, not Ron.
Knock-knock-knock.
"Who's knocking on the door?"
"God."
"Oh My God, who?"
"Isn't it a bit impolite using God's name badly in the presence of a God?"
"Real name?"
"Joanne Kathleen Rowling. Straight. I made you," came the answer.
Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Let her in. I knew it was something with a J and a K and a R."
Harry waved his wand. "Abra Kadabra, something I don't know, etcetera etcetera.
The door flung open. Harry, Ron and Hermione went to ashes as their glance fell upon a God's real looks.
The End.
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