The way people talk about confidence, you'd think it was easy to achieve. 'Just believe in yourself, and it'll all be okay', that's what was commonly said. Personally, Tavros didn't think it quite worked like that, or maybe the believing in yourself ability was something he didn't have yet. He liked to imagine that one day he'd wake up and suddenly 'believe in himself', like he'd leveled up overnight, but life wasn't a game, and people didn't unlock new abilities overnight. Tavros was stuck where he was.
Maybe it would be easier, if only he didn't have The Bully. Vriska Serket, he often thought, was like a final boss that he encountered much too early. In a way, he admired her. You had to be extremely confident to insult people like Vriska did. Or maybe she was moderately confident and he was just really easy to insult. He did have an awful amount of things to make fun of; His stunted growth, his stutter, his wheelchair. Being born paralyzed wasn't exactly the best thing that could have happened to him, but there could have been worse things, right? His uncle, a soft spoken and small guy just like him, was really nice, so that definitely could have been worse. They lived in a decent house and had food and were warm, so that was good too. Tavros should be grateful, not resentful!
But still...he couldn't help wishing he had working legs. It would make self-esteem easier to obtain.
"Tavros?" Aradia asked, making him jump in surprise. "Oh, sorry."
"It's okay...Um, hi..." He said hesitantly. He and Aradia Megido had bonded over their mutual love of games, both tabletop, online, and even cards sometimes, back in middle school. In fact, they were even part of a gaming club at their high school, which, unfortunately for Tavros, included Vriska and her semi-intimidating friend, Terezi Pyrope. Terezi was handicapped too, blind, but not like Tavros. Terezi didn't take shit from anybody, another quality that he greatly admired, but didn't have.
"I have a feeling," Aradia stated, "That something will happen today. Something new."
"New?" Tavros questioned. Aradia's 'feelings' were never wrong, and were often a little ominous and spooky. Then again, so was she. "What do you mean?"
"You know I don't know," She frowned, "I only get feelings. But it will be...interesting."
He shrugged, rolling his wheelchair into math nonchalantly, but accidentally leaned too far forward and dropped his binder on the ground. A hand shot out to catch it before Aradia even began to reach down.
"Here ya go, dude. Cool binder by the way. Motherfucking sweet." The lanky guy said, placing the binder back on Tavros's lap. He blushed, well aware his binder was covered in fiduspawn stickers. Vriska would be having a field day if she could see.
"I, um, t-thank you," Tavros mumbled. The dude was easily a good foot taller than Tavros, two since he was in the wheelchair, with overly shaggy black hair and a wide, relaxed grin. He seemed familiar, in fact, Tavros was sure he'd seen him before. No one else had such huge purple eyes, eyes that roughly half the girls in school wanted.
"Heeeyyyy, I know you!" He exclaimed, "Motherfucking... Nitrate? Nah, that shit ain't right. Tavbro?"
"Um, T-tavros...Nitram...Actually." Tavros said quietly, "I, er, know you too? Maybe?"
"Aw, but Tavbro is so sweet. I'mma call you that instead, 'kay?"
"Gamzee. Gamzee Makara." Aradia murmured. "Yes, I've seen you talk with Equius. Also the angry Vantas boy. We don't talk though. Different circles, different souls watching over..."
"Uh, circles?" Gamzee asked, "Like my wicked sweats?" He pointed to his dark gray sweatpants, which were indeed pocked with circles.
"Social circles, Gamzee. We don't generally interact. Like I've said, you are usually with the irritable Vantas boy, also someone Tavros and I don't talk to. Also Equius, who I don't know too well, despite his odd infatuation with me in middle school. Oh, I'm rambling. Oops."
"O-only a little bit," Tavros put it, feeling more and more nervous under Gamzee's purple stare. "Thanks for...helping me...Gamzee."
"Aw, it's cool Tavbro! S'all good. But I don't have a seat yet, or any buddies in this class, excepting y'all. Where do you guys pop a squat?"
"The back." Aradia gestured. "Help yourself. The desk without a chair is Tavros's. The desk with the multitude of post-it ghosts drawn in marker is mine."
While Gamzee chose a seat, Tavros leaned over as best he could to whisper to Aradia. "Your 'new' feeling was right. He got transferred into our math class. Does he make you nervous too?"
"I say this with the highest possible love and respect for you Tavros, but everyone makes you nervous, except possibly me. Don't you still get anxious around Nepeta? And you've known her for two years. You've known me since seventh grade. You met Equius...when? When he and Nepeta started dating? Or before, when they were friends?"
"Aradia, you're, um, rambling a bit."
"Oh. Oops."
"Yooo, are you rad motherfuckers gonna come and sit down, or...?" Gamzee slurred, waving them over, "The teacher's gonna start the class n' stuff."
"Oh! Uh, thanks." Tavros rolled as fast as he could to his desk, preparing his notebook. Junior year was the year SATs and other tests began to really matter, and he had to get good grades to get scholarships. His poor uncle had to deal with enough already, expecting him to pay for college was just too much! Besides, no one would hire Tavros for a part time job; Scholarships was his best option. Gotta be prepared.
"Hey, Tavbro. Do you have a motherfucking pen?"
"So, Tavros. What do you think of Gamzee so far?" Aradia asked curiously. "You didn't seem to be quite so shy today."
The pair was walking (er...) to their normal lunch table, only a few feet from the lunch lines. Aradia and Tavros had both gotten pizza, Tavros in hopes of gaining weight, and Aradia, because she liked pizza.
She didn't really care what people thought anymore.
"Aradia!" Feferi squealed, tackling her girlfriend. "I missed you!"
Aradia kissed her on the cheek, "You saw me in history though."
"But that was ages ago!"
"H-hi Feferi," Tavros said. He'd always been a little bit scared of her bubbly personality, maybe because he was a little worried that one days she'd try to help him with his confidence issues, but Aradia's calm demeanor matched her perfectly. Feferi was a strict vegetarian, so she had a salad, like usual.
"So, like I was saying. Do you like Gamzee?" Aradia dug into her pizza, watching him with intent burgundy eyes.
"L-like?! Like him? I, um, I dunno!" Tavros sputtered, turning bright red. Feferi giggled, flashing a warm grin at him.
"Oh no, I don't think she means like that! Gamzee Makara, right? I keep wanting to call him Mackerel." Aradia nodded.
"Tavros, I meant are you less nervous around him. Unless there's something I should know about, like related." She winked at him, and he looked down shyly.
"Well, I don't...Um, I haven't really...I guess I'm less nervous?...He's...really tall." He awkwardly grabbed his pizza. "And, um, kind of sleepy-looking. He's...nice." He ate hurriedly, trying to ignore the knowing glances of Aradia and Feferi. Feferi spent enough time with Nepeta as it was, if word somehow got out about his admiration for Gamzee (he refused to call it a crush), then he wouldn't be able to talk to him at all! Even though it had only been three days, they'd already talked five times, not that Tavros had been keeping track. That was like, a personal record. He'd sat next to Aradia during history in seventh grade for a full two months before daring to say hi to her. Gamzee just inspired friendless, he supposed. Like an added bonus to his avatar! Circle sweatpants = +2 social? Something like that, anyway.
"You know, Feferi, you should call him Mackerel." Aradia smiled at the brunette. "I think he'd like it."
Chapter One of this! Woohoo! I'm finally getting all of my requests done, so expect to see Grimdorks, Gamtav, and Harley Davidson. I went completely out of my comfort zone on all of the ships, so I hope you like it! Crack pairings to the max, yo. I might even throw in dancestors. :3
Please review and let me know what you think, or if you have a suggestion for one of the pairings to go out on a date, or whatever.