Well, here it goes, my wondrous readers. I got some serious encouragement to do a Twilight series list, so here it is. Enjoy! Review! Make me smile!
Rules for Living in Forks
Learn how to fix your car. Otherwise, arrogant vampires will just fiddle with it whenever they like. For your own good, of course.
Don't lose hope because your classmates during puberty didn't find you attractive. All it takes is one vampire to turn things around.
Never look the vampire in the eyes, unless you want to be purring play dough in his hands.
Remember, some boys are stand-offish because they're rude. Others are stand-offish because they wish to drain your blood immediately, after destroying all possible witnesses.
If your father is the local sheriff, be prepared for a total lack of privacy. EVERYONE will know your face and history. Trust me.
If you're the quiet, new girl, don't underestimate the power of a fresh face in a small town. Be prepared for a barrage of boys who yearn for variety.
Consequently, be prepared for the inevitable flood of resentment from all the girls. They've been waiting years for these boys to grow up and ask them out, and then you come along.
If you want attention from the local heroic vampire, just be as klutzy as humanly possible. Apparently, reclusive habits are no defense against a damsel in distress.
If you've spent any time here, you probably know there's weird stuff going on. It would be wise to listen to urban legends with an open mind, just in case.
If you happen to be a vampire, memorize a good, long list of playing-hooky excuses. Sometimes you just can't wait for the weekend, and a nice day out…hiking...
If you're not terribly athletic, latch on to the nearest dreamy vampire that you can find. Hiking is much more fun when all you have to do is hang on.
Be careful around a pretty face. Maybe it belongs to a vegetarian, maybe not…
Make sure your self-confidence is as strong as possible before starting a relationship with a vampire. Anything you can do, they can do better, though they'll only mock you occasionally.
Hope you like pale skin. It's either that or fake-bake, in Forks.
Having a vampire boyfriend has both ups and downs. Sure, his love can fill all the holes in your life, and he can protect you from anything less than Armageddon, but a day at the beach is pretty much out of the question.