Happy Birthday, Youzo Morisaki
Disclaimer: I own nothing and I'm not earning any money with it.
Beta: Interstellar Overdrive
Warnings: (nearly rape), angst, dark, sap, fluff, romance, yaoi and a happy end ( more or less)
A.N.: Because today (12.3) is Youzo Morisakis( third goalkeeper of the All-Japan-Team) birthday and I'm a huge fan of him. Seconde: I don't know what gotten into me, but I had this idea for a long time. So that explains that. Ah, and please ignore the fact, that half a year past since the final and the letter. Thank you very much.
Happy Birthday, Youzo Morisaki
Youzo closed the door behind him and sank to the floor.
Today was a really bad day even if it was his birthday. No one had congratulated him, not even his so called 'friends', but than again, what was he expecting of them? To remember the birthday of their third goalkeeper, who wasn't really good enough? How vain he was, Youzo laughted bitterly. Really what was he thinking? And to make matters worse, Ryo Ishizaki had said some really hurtful things. True, Ryo always said hurtful things, but today hurt especially.
The words rang still in his head. "Hehe, you're so bad, you will never make it into the All-Japan-Team."
Youzo was trying in vain to hold back the tears, but to no effect.
Ryo didn't mean it, he kept telling himself, but still… probably he was right. He would never make it into the All-Japan-Team, but than again: Did he really want to be in that team? Did he really belong there? He wasn't sure.
Most of the members didn't see or recognize him and the rest… To the rest he was just a toy without feelings, something they could play with and then throw away.
He closed his eyes and tried to forget the painful memories, which were coming back. The night when his heart was broken into millions of pieces.
They had won the final against Brazil.
He had been tired, even if he hadn't played. It was nearly midnight and it seemed the party would last till the early morning hours.
Silently, and without anyone noticing it, he left, or at least he thought no one had noticed it.
Yawning, he opened the door to his hotel room, which he shared with Genzo Wakabayshi.
With a soft click, the door closed and he had went straight into the bathroom to take a shower.
After fifteen minutes he ventured from the showers again, dressed in his boxer shorts. Without thinking he grabbed his t-shirt and had it nearly pulled it over his had, but was interrupted when someone said " You know, you look really cute in my T-Shirt."
He stopped dressing and looked at the owner of the voice.
Wakabayashi stood at the door with a look in his eyes that frightended him .
"Oh..oh, soory, I didn't knew it was yours", he stammered, but Wakabayashi only shook his head and turned the key in the door.
"Don't worry."
Youzo had gulped nervously and Wakabayashi had stalked over to him like a hungry panther.
The rest of the night was painful history.
Youzo pulled his knees to his chest and cried. He just cried. It had hurt. Not physically. Wakabayashi had made sure of that, psychologically, and that was the worst.
Youzo had really tried to enjoy it, but… the knowledge that he was just a toy, nothing serious, had hurt.
He could have tried to say no, but how could he deny the SGGK anything? How could he? He should have been happy, that Genzo Wakabayashi slept with him. He really should have, it was just… he wasn't.
He loved the other goalkeeper with every fiber of his body and Wakabayashi had just used him.
He felt so dirty.
Youzo was so deeply caught up in his own thoughts, that he nearly missed the ring of his doorbell.
He jumped up and dried his eyes with his sleeve of his jacket. A few deep breathes and he opend the door.
"Good day, here is a packet for you, sir", the post officer said smiling.
Youzo tried to smile back, but it wasn't working. He took the packet and signed for it..
"Thank you and good day to you, sir.", the post officer tipped at his hat and left.
Youzo looked after him for a few secundes, than he closed his door.
Not really knowing what to do with his packet, he went to his bedroom.
He wasn't in the mood for opening anything, but his curiosity was awakened.. At least he could see whom the packet was from, then decide if he wanted to open it our not.
Wakabayashi. The packet was from Wakabayashi. The very last person he excepcted something from.
With shacking hands and barely breathing he opend it.
Inside was a t-shirt. He took it out and unfolded it. Out fell a letter.
Curiously, he opened it and began to read.
Dear Youzo,
I'm sorry to write all this in a letter, but it is so hard for me to talk about my feelings. I'm not good with words and this letter won't be easy. I wish I could tell you all that, but I'm afraid I'm too much of an iceberg or coward (whatever you want to call me) to say this out loud. I hope that someday I will be able to, but until then..
Okey, how should I say this…?
I'm sorry, if I scared you that night. I didn't meant to, but I couldn't help it.
You looked so cute in my t-shirt and I couldn't hold back any longer (you have in it the whole time). How one side dropped over your shoulder, because it was to big for you… mmmh, even the memory is enough to give me a few really good wet dreams.
But back to the point.
I really didn't mean to hurt you or anything. That was the last thing I wanted. I wanted you to enjoy it, but I fear you didn't. I'm really sorry for that.
Youzo Morisaki, I love you and that night….I couldn't control myself any longer.
You are so cute and adorable and I want to protect you. You realize that?
Everytime I see you, I want to hold you, kiss you, make love to you.
Your lips are a beautiful red and so soft and sweet. Mhm, even the bare memories of how it feels to kiss you makes me hot.
And your eyes. I'm always drowning in them( and happily doing so).
My knees go weak every time you look at me. Believe me. They do.
Your voice sends shivers down my spine and I imagine, how you would sound moaning my name. The thought alone maked me hard.
Sorry, I sound like a little pervert, but that is how you make me feel. I love you and making love to you is the only way I can let you know that. I'm sorry for that, but I can't help it.
Right now, I want to be near you, hold you, kiss you and do Gods know what to you, but I can't. I'm here in Hamburg and you're in Shimizu and the only thing I'm have of you is the memory of that night and pictures on my walls of you.
Yes, I have pictures of you. You don't know how many pictures there are of you.
I wish you could be here with me, but it can't be helped and there is still the day, when I return back to Japan for the holydays. I'm really looking forward to it and how much you will have progressed since I last saw you.
You know, it is really satisfying for me, to see how you become better and better. Don't ask me why, but it really makes me happy. Believe me, when I'm saying, that you are worth being a member of the All-Japan-Team. No matter that all the others are saying. You are good. Probably even better than I am, because you never give up no matter what. And that's what I admire about you. There were many times when I wanted to throw everything away, but than I remembered you and I kept on fighting. Because of and for you.
And as inspiring as Tsubasa's Dreams might be, the reason I stay Japanese is you.
I hope you will recive the packet in time, so: Happy birthday. Keep my HSV jersey until I can be there myself and hold you.
I will always love you and in my dreams I'm with you
Genzo Wakabayashi
Youzo took a few deep breaths and read the letter again and again. And everytime he read it, the warm feeling inside him grew until he smiled.
All his fears had been for nothing. Genzo Wakabayshi loved him, just as much as he did. He couldn't be any happier. That was definately the best birthday gift he had ever recived.
Okay, the second best. The best would be, if Genzo could be really with him, but he had his jersey. That would do for now.
He took the jersey out of the packet and held it to his face. Mmm, it smelled like Genzo.
He sank into his bed and cuddled the jersey, Genzo smiling down at him from a poster he had pinned to his wall.
With pleasant thoughts, full of love and happiness he fell asleep, dreaming of Genzo and what was going to happen when he returned.
The End