SpinoGuy: I do not own Deadpool. Marvel does. I do however own this plot, and-
DEADPOOL: Oh, my God! Will you shut the fuck up!
SpinoGuy: Wait, how are you talking to me?
DEADPOOL: 'Cause I'm Deadpool, BITCH!
SpinoGuy: You know, I'm not so sure I want to write a Deadpool story anymore.
DEADPOOL: Are you sure anyone wants you to? I mean, considering your track record, your stories haven't been the best.
SpinoGuy: I thought Mortal Kombat: Rebirth was good.
DEADPOOL: No it wasn't. The first couple of chapters were alright, but that's it.
SpinoGuy: Go fuck you, Deadpool.
DEADPOOL: I did that on the way here.
SpinoGuy: ...You are a disturbed individual, aren't you?
[You just figured that out?]
SpinoGuy: Wait, what the hell is that?
[I'm the white voice box.]
SpinoGuy: Where's the yellow one?
DEADPOOL: Probably hitting on Domino, or something.
{I'm right here, you dick.}
DEADPOOL: Nobody cares, yellow voice box.
{Nobody loves me!}
SpinoGuy: Are we gonna move on with the story, or what?
[That's what I was thinking.]
{Yeah, the public needs to view our sexiness!}
DEADPOOL: You tell him, yellow voice box!
SpinoGuy: ...I hope this isn't gonna be a fucked up story.
(Deadpool's POV)
Oh, my God, what is taking him so long to get these goddamn taco's ready! I've been here for fifteen goddamn minutes!
[Well, we did order one hundred tacos]
{That's no excuse!}
Yeah, yellow voice box has a point. Yo, SpinoGuy!
SpinoGuy: What?
Could you hurry this along.
SpinoGuy: You'll get your damn tacos when that man's done making your tacos.
Fuck you, SpinoGuy. Anyway, I'm Deadpool. I'm the mysterious merc with a mouth who was born over a century ago. I accidentally killed my real father, after he killed a guy I thought was my father for ten years. When I ran away, I stumbled upon a hammer, which I lifted up and gained the powers of thunder. And then I got bit by a radioactive spider, gaining the power to stretch my limbs, and go into an incredible strength filled-rage when I get angry.
SpinoGuy: What the fuck are you talking about?
I don't know. I was actually a mercenary who developed cancer, went into the Weapon X program, gained an incredible healing factor, and went bat shit crazy. Also a whole bunch of other confusing shit, but that's not important. What is important is this goddamn taco stand!
SpinoGuy: Why don't you just eat the tacos that are made?
Why don't you shut the fuck up? Anyway, I'm on this shitty ass street in New York, I know, big surprise! Do you know how many times I've been called Spider-Man today? Ten! Ten fucking times! God I hate my life.
{We hate your life too, dude.}
[Does that mean we hate ourselves, too]
{I don't know, I'm just reading the script.}
[Touche]
Would you guys shut the fuck up! Why can't a fucking building explode or some-
BOOM!
What was that?
[The explosion?]
No, that "BOOM!" thing. Yeesh, we didn't have enough of a budget to make a firecracker explosion?
SpinoGuy: It's called onomatopoeia?
...What's that?
SpinoGuy: It's when you use words to describe sound.
What is this, a language arts lesson?
SpinoGuy: You asked.
Whatever. Anyway, I wonder if I should shout something like, "Here I come to save the day!"
"Excuse me," asks a voice behind me.
I turn my head around, and ask, "What?"
Oh, it's just the taco guy. I should probably put these swords away, huh?
[That's probably the right thing to do, considering he just pissed himself.]
I hear him ask, "Aren't you going to help?"
I put my chin in my hand, thinking. Should I, or should I not. These are the questions we must answer.
SpinoGuy: Why don't you just do it, an stop wasting fucking time!
{You're the writer.}
SpinoGuy: Good point.
Anyway, while those two pricks are talking, I've already ran over to the building. I wonder if this guy is just another psycho terrorist like that last gu-
HOLY SHIT, HE"S GOT A BIG GUN!
This guy is like ten feet tall, dark skin, rotten teeth, bad buzz cut, and a GIANT FUCKING MINI-GUN!
{Like a BFG?}
[Yeah, since the writer is to lazy to describe the gun.]
SpinoGuy: Hey! That is probably true!
Anyway, I think I should go all stabby-stab on him or maybe go all gunny-gun on him. Screw it, I'll just do both. So I pull out a sword and a gun (making sure it's my favorite Desert Eagle), running up towards him.
"Hey!" I yell. "Do you realize I'm gonna have to pay taxes for that?"
The BFG guy just says, "Fuck you, Spider-Man."
Something inside me... snaps.
For the next five minutes, I don't know what happened.
Only that the guy had his head cut off, his intestines ripped out, his heart my hand, Mortal Kombat style, and me yelling, "I am the Ghost of Christmas KICK YOUR ASS!".
"Holy shit, Spider-Man just went all Mortal Kombat on him!"
I groan, considering I don't want to kill an innocent. I walk up to this- HOLY HOT CHICK!
She's got like Double-D boobs, long, luscious brown hair, and legs that go on for miles. Did I forget to mention that she has big boobs?
SpinoGuy: No. Hey, I think your tacos are done.
Really, where?
[Where do you think?]
Good point, logical side of me. So I run up to the taco stand, grab my tacos, and walk back to my apartment.
{What about the hot chick?}
[SpinoGuy probably wouldn't have let us fuck her anyway.]
SpinoGuy: Well, yeah. Mainly because I don't do that shit. And I feel like this story is fucked up the way it is.
Point taken. So... want to watch some porn and masturbate to it?
{Fuck yeah!}
[Fuck yeah!]
SpinoGuy: Fuck yeah! I mean, sure. That sounds entertaining.
You know you want to jack off to porn too.
SpinoGuy: These are truths. These are facts.
Anyway, hoped you liked our story of randomness. Hopefully, that dumbass writer got our personality down better than Sub-Zero's.
Sub-Zero: What's up?
Nothing. Go back into your story.
Sub-Zero: M'Kay.
SpinoGuy: Seriously though, I hope you liked this story. If you want me to continue, write a review saying so. Or PM me. I'd prefer a review, but whatever floats your boat.
{We don't want them to go!}
[Who are you? Ermac?]
{No! We don't want to be that red Scorpion!}
Scorpion: Told ya Ermac!
Ermac: Fuck you, Scorpion! At least our catchphrase is cooler yours.
Scorpion: GET THE FUCK OVER HERE!
I thought this was my story. Whatever, I'm gonna watch some porn right now. After I visit that fucking spider.
SpinoGuy: Spino, and Deadpool, out.
Later.