They say when you get devastating news, your world fades away; the next thing you know, you're somewhere else, and some long amount of time has passed. It wasn't like that for me.
I remember everything.
I was in class, talking to my best friend about her latest boyfriend while the professor talked on about biochemistry. I always turn my phone off before class, but I guess I forgot that day. The professor gave me a look and I told her I was turning it off when I noticed the caller ID. The last time I'd received a phone call from Detective Ryan was when he was searching for Kate one day back when I was still in High School and might know.
"Kevin, what's wrong?" I asked into the phone. I remember out of the corner of my eye, seeing my professor put her hands on her hips while my best friend asked me if I was okay.
I guess in a way, they were right, because my world did fade away. All I could hear was the echo of four little words. I hung up on Detective Ryan and gathered my stuff before heading for the door.
"Alexis!" my best friend asked, her voice full of concern, "What's wrong?"
"My father's been shot," I told her. I left before she could say anything.
The minute I stepped out of the classroom, I broke into a run. I don't know if it's because of my last name or my face showed my fears, but my classmates parted for me like the red sea. When I got to my car, I fumbled with my keys. I flew out of the parking lot, my fingers shaking despite my vice-like grip on the wheel.
I ran into the ER and slammed my hands against the desk, saying my father's name like a prayer. She opened her mouth to say something when I saw Detective Ryan and Beckett through the doors to my left. I ran towards them even though the nurse yelled after me.
The doors hit loudly as they hit the side walls, but I didn't hear it at the time. Beckett, Ryan, Espo, and Lanie were talking to a doctor. It was like slow motion. Beckett's eyes were wide and in shock and Lanie was crying. They all turned to look at me, pity and sadness on their faces. I knew.
I opened and closed mouth, wanting to scream that this wasn't fair, but no words would come out. It was like the air left my lungs and my will faded away. Tears flooded my eyes as I tried to breath. My breaths were short and didn't give me the needed air. Beckett took a step towards me but stopped. A strong arm wrapped around my front and my back was pulled into someone's chest. My legs crumbled beneath me and the two of us sank to the floor.
"Breathe," someone whispered in my ear. I didn't know who it was, all I could focus on was the pain. I've lost before, but I never understood the term broken heart. It was like a physical pain, like someone had stabbed me through the heart. My vision blurred, my throat went raw, my head ached, and yet was nothing compared to red hot pain in my chest. "Breathe."
My father was dead.