"I used to get so upset when Andrew and Danielle were little, I used their nap times to cry."
Bree said this in 1x08 and it inspired this fanfic, I don't know why but it did ahah. Anyway, I thought I'd make it into a cute Brex fic, you know because everything was good between them. 'I wish you coulld have known me when Rex was alive, and when my children were young and when everything was how it was supposed to be.'. Anyway, enjoy!
xo
I don't know where I'm at
I'm standing at the back
And I'm tired of waiting
Bree Van de Kamp stood in the doorway of the nursery watching her kids sleep. Andrew was 2 and Danielle had just turned 1. They both looked so peaceful. She just stood there, inside of what to do. Should she leave them, go and do household chores? Or should she stand there and watch them sleep, not wanting to miss a moment of them growing up.
Waiting here in line, hoping that I'll find
what I've been chasing.
She'd longed for this all her life. Being a mother. She had no idea just how much becoming a mother changed you. She had no idea she was able to love another human being this much.
I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
A lonesome tear made its way down her cheeks as she thought of all the times in Andrew and Danielle's lives that she'd miss because of this, that or the other. She aimed for total, smothering love. And was greeted with regret over things that hasn't even had a chance to happen yet.
So why do I try, I know I'm gonna fall down
'Why did I do this?' She thought to herself. 'I'm letting myself be absorbed by this everlasting love for these children when I know that something will tear it apart.'
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
'I thought I could do this!' She thought to herself again. 'I thought I could be the perfect mother, just like my mother was. Why am I failing so miserably?'
Never know why it's coming down, down, down.
Another tear made its way down her cheek. She didn't even know why this was making her so emotional.
Not ready to let go
Cause then I'd never know
What I could be missing
Her legs grew tired but she refused to miss a moment she could be with them. She sat down on the rocking chair which Rex had surprised her with when Andrew was born.
But I'm missing way too much
So when do I give up what I've been wishing for.
'I've already missed too much of their lives.' She thought to herself. 'How much longer can I go on like this?'
I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I'm gonna fall down
More sobs escaped her as she thought more about the life she was giving to her kids and how much she would miss of them. She clasped her hand over her mouth so not to wake them.
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why it's coming down, down, down.
Rex appeared at the doorway. His heart physically hurt inside of his chest when he saw his wife crying like that. He walked over to her, knelt in front of her and asked; "Bree, honey, what's wrong?"
Oh I am going down, down, down
Bree was in such a state by now that she couldn't talk. She tried to but every attempt was met by sobs.
I can't find another way around
"I…" She got out between sobs. "I can't miss their childhood."
And I don't want to hear the sound, of losing what I never found.
"Honey, you're not going to miss anything." Rex said. "They'll always be our kids. Whether they like it or not. And we'll love them to the moon and back."
I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
"To the moon and back." Bree repeated. "I'm so sorry that they have me as a mother. I'm not good enough for them."
Why do I try, I know I'm gonna fall down
"Yes. Yes you are." Rex comforted. "I don't know another woman who is as determined, as strong minded, as caring nor as compassionate as you are."
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
"Our kids are lucky to have you as a mother. You and I, we'll give them the best start to everything in life. And we'll love them, we'll care for them, we'll protect them."
I'll never know why it's coming down, down, down.
Rex looked up at his wife. He brushed the tears from her face and held it gently in his hands. "You and I, we can do this." He said. He kissed her softly on the lips before standing up and pulling her into a tight embrace, holding her and removing all the pain from her troubled mind.
Bree held on tightly and whispered; "Thank you."