This is my first fanfic on DGM. Pairing Kanda and Lavi. I don't own any of these characters. This story contains shonen-ai. Don't read if you don't like it. Hope you enjoy this sad story of mine and please excuse me for my lousy grammar. I'll be happy to hear all of your comments about my story.

(Lavi sounds a little sad in this story. Sorry.)

The smell of blood hung thickly all around the air. Evening sun sank slowly in the horizon painting the sky with red deeper then usual or maybe because of the color of blood all around?

A long haired exorcist holding a sword in his hand walked slowly around the broken down place. Corpses were all around him, some still alive moaning and whining for someone, anyone to save them.

One free hand held his wound in his stomach as he walked slowly in the thin river of blood on the ground. His beautiful black hair tied up in a high pony tail behind him dripped with blood of whose, he don't know or care anymore. His beautiful doll face look pained with every step he took. His hands and clothes soaked with the blood of his own.

"Stupid rabbit," he managed to say to his comrade lying on the floor under a bloody tree.

"Are you dead?" he asked indifferently eyeing the red headed one with his bandanna slipped down around his neck, eye patch a little out of place. Mouth slightly opens barely breathing.

The 'stupid rabbit' lay so still, anyone would believe he's dead with his clothes torn and blood oozing out of his arms and hip. Slowly, his deep emerald green eyes fluttered open with difficulty.

"Is that God talking to me?" he asked barely more then a whisper. For some reason, the other dark-haired exorcists felt annoyed and started frowning at him 'till his eyes start to focus and saw who the 'god' was.

"What?" he asked disappointed, "It's only Yuu-chan." He muttered breathlessly.

"Che, it's Kanda to you." was the harsh reply.

"Aw, come on. What's there to argue over best friends? I didn't say anything about you calling me stupid rabbit." Green eyes smiled at Kanda tiredly but full of mischief.

"Lavi, can you walk? We need to get back to the inn." Kanda asked ignoring his comment.

"Walk? I can barely even breathe." Whine his comrade, pouting a little.

"Che." was the annoyed reply.

Walking over his comrade, he pulled him up carefully as he wince in pain. An arm supported him around his good hip, Kanda moved Lavi's arm round his neck, supporting him and started walking slowly back together towards their inn.

The light of sun started to fade as darkness took over. The two exorcists limp very slowly away from the battle field with the retrieved innocence safely in Kanda's coat pocket. Lavi's breathe was irregular and slow, he never felt so pain before. He could felt his pulse beating in his wounds, making the pain worse with each step they took.

He gazed down on the ground to see blood dripping down slowly to the ground.

"Yuu-chan, you're bleeding." He said softly.

"Shut up, we're getting near to the inn." His low voice barely made it out of his beautiful lips.

Lavi chuckled. Bad move. He winces in pain.

"Harsh as usual aren't you Yuu-chan." He smiled weakly at him.

"Che."

The moon and stars shone brightly down at them. Lavi gazed at Kanda for a long time. The face that looked like a doll, one filled with sadness and sorrow. Black hair and deep icy blue eyes, never fail to make anyone weak at the knees every time he glare. Yet with the same face, he never fails to turn girls' head even though he doesn't seem to realize it at all. He is such a mystery to him. Can't help but want to find out more about this Japanese guy.

"You looked so beautiful Yuu-chan. Do you know that?" Lavi said without thinking.

"How many times do I have to tell you to shut up?" Lavi only smiled softly when he saw his face blushed lightly despite the amount of blood he's loosing.

People from the village started running in a rush towards the battle field. Nobody stopped them to ask what's wrong or what happened. The anxiety in the people's eyes, made both of them sad even though Kanda didn't show it. So many was sacrificed in the war.

"Why? They have no ability like exorcist do, why did they rush in to fight? For their love ones? For what they are trying to protect?" Kanda heard Lavi muttered darkly to himself beside him.

"Humans are such foolish creature." Kanda could only agree silently.

Finally, they got back to the inn. Kanda passed out right in front of the door step. The men of the inn helped both of them back into their double bed room and the women tended to their wounds.

"How's he?" Lavi asked the woman who just finished bandaging the unconscious Kanda.

"I believe he lost too much blood. He forced himself too much to walk which cause more blood lost and at the same time, half carrying you. But he'll be fine. Don't worry." answered the woman quietly.

"Thank you so much for helping us." Lavi thanked the woman. Even though he's in a terrible state, his charming face and smiled didn't fail to make the woman blush.

"You two are so young, reminds me of my son who died in a battle like this. I'm glad you two make it out alive." said the woman, eyes distant remembering the sad memories.

"I guess I should leave you to rest now, if you need anything, just give us a call." she closed the door softly behind her.

Lavi signed. The pain in his hip and arm was still incredible but at least the bleeding stopped. He gazed at Kanda who was sleeping peacefully. He never thought his face would look so angelic. The normal 'conscious' Kanda would be frowning or very pissed off over something all the time.

Lavi thought he looked beautiful with his long black hair spread out on his pillow like spilled ink. His bangs just above his eyebrows made him looked so innocent. And oh those beautiful red lips.

Yet he ignored his wounds and carried me till here, thought Lavi silently. A smile creeps on his face as he too drifted into sleep.

Kanda opened his eyes in a rush. It was dawn already, the morning sun shone softly into the window beside his bed. Abruptly, he sat up on his bed looking around panicking thinking that he still left Lavi alone by the tree to die. He looked down to see a thick blanket covering him. He got confused, wasn't I in the battle field? Lavi was seriously injured and I had to help him.

"You finally awake?" an unexpected voice came from beside him. He turned abruptly to the side making his head dizzy. He closed his eyes for a moment to clear his head and opened them again to find himself starring into a pair of green, green eyes.

"Good morning, Yuu-chan." Lavi smiled cheerfully at him.

Kanda only frowned. What a pity, thought Lavi silently. He looked like an angel just a couple of hours ago before he woke up.

Kanda stepped out of his bed. His wound still hurt a little but he had recovered a lot and much faster then normal people do. He narrowed his eyes to the side to see Lavi watching him.

"You feeling better?" he asked grudgingly.

"Why? Are you worried about me? Aww, that's so sweet of you, Yuu-chan." Was the cheerfully reply even though his face was very pale. Instantly, Kanda regretted for even asking.

"I don't care if you're alive of not. You stupid rabbit." He said dangerously.

"Don't say mean things to me Yuu-chan, my poor heart is breaking to pieces." Even in his pathetic state, he can still joke.

"Don't call me that."

"Why? It suited you finely." was the innocent reply.

"I don't like people, especially you calling me by my first name." he muttered angrily and stormed into the bathroom to take a shower to wash away all the blood on his body.

After half an hour, the bathroom door finally opened and a wet Kanda stepped out with his long black hair dripping with water.

"Not only you looked like a girl; you take bath like one too. What took you so long in there?" Lavi commented as Kanda dry his hair with a fluffy towel.

"None of your business." He replied shortly and turned his back to him.

Kanda started stuffing his stuffs into his bag, his back still facing Lavi.

"Go get ready Lavi, we're going home today." He stopped abruptly. Home? He thought to himself. I don't have one.

"I don't have one." was the soft reply. Kanda froze his movements.

Me too.

Kanda wondered what kind of expression will be on Lavi's face but he certainly not going to turn around to find out.

It's not like I care. He thought to himself and resumed stuffing his shirts and pants into the bag.

"We are going back to Black Order. Hurry up, the train leaves in an hour." He rephrased his sentence.

"I can't walk. My wounds can't heal as fast like you." Lavi signed tiredly.

"We'll manage." Icy blue eyes stubbornly reply.

"Yuu-chan is soooo mean to me." Lavi signed and walked with difficulty to the bathroom to take a shower.

Soon, they were on their way to the train station. Kanda carrying both of their bags while Lavi trying hard to keep up with his speed. When they finally got up in the train, Lavi's face was as pale as a sheet. Barely have the strength to breathe.

Kanda sat by the window as far away from anyone else as possible. He che-ed at Lavi moaning in pain and immediately closes his eyes to sleep.

An hour later, Kanda opened his eyes to see what the 'stupid rabbit' doing 'cause not a sound was heard from him for the last forty minutes. Lavi's face was really pale, noted Kanda and he looked really uncomfortable on the long cushioned chair. A small frown appeared on his face as he tried to shift into a more comfortable position but only to end up hurting his wound at his hips making him wince silently.

"Yuu-chan." He mumbled with his eyes still closed. "I don't feel good."

Kanda grunted under his breathe.

"Can I sleep on your shoulder? This thing is making me hurt." He groaned at the chair his eyes pleading Kanda pleadingly.

"No." annoyed at the request.

"Yuu-chan is so mean to me." He muttered and closed his eyes again, face still very pale.

Kanda looked at him, the stupid face that smile so much and the stupid mouth that makes idiotic jokes and say weird things. He thought back to the night when he said he looked beautiful.

Suddenly the train stopped. Both of them fell off their seats. Kanda landed on his butt while Lavi, not so lucky, fell on his bad hip.

"Ouch. What the hell?" Lavi moaned in pain, unable to get up. Kanda looked to the side, surprised to see blood stained his coat slowly forming a pool of blood on the floor.

The train started to move again. Everything was silent accept for the tracks below them.

"Baka Usagi, are you alright?"

No answer.

Lavi lay limply on the floor by his side, bad hip against the floor, his wound opened again. Moving over to help him, Kanda was shocked to see the usual happy-go-lucky Lavi looked dizzy in so much pain. Immediately, he blamed himself for that.

Helping Lavi up onto the long seat, Kanda took off his own coat and pressed it on Lavi's wound to stop the bleeding.

"Yuu-chan, I'm gonna die. This is the end." He muttered sadly.

"If humans can die this easily, wouldn't the world be a better place?" was the sharp reply.

"Even you're capable of sarcasm." Lavi smiled palely. Soon, Kanda's coat was soaked with Lavi's blood, but at least the bleeding stopped now.

With his arms still around Lavi's waist holding his coat on his hips, Lavi fell asleep on his shoulder. His flaming red hair brushed against the Japanese's neck, his hands somehow ended up holding Kanda's hand.

"You're too close. If you're not so badly hurt, I would have killed you." said the beautiful yet ill-tempered exorcist to his comrade. Lavi only snuggled closer, but Kanda didn't pull him away.

"Your body is so warm Yuu-chan." muttered Lavi in his sleep.

"Wh-"

"But your hands are so cold like your heart. It hurt so much." The long-haired exorcist wondered if he's talking about his wound.

I shouldn't have rush back like this. I've caused this stupid rabbit so much pain. Che. So troublesome, well, it's not like it's my fault that he got himself so hurt. He thought to himself.

But guilt still hunts him. That's why he never let go of Lavi even once, silently enjoying the feeling of being so close to someone even though he would never admit it aloud.

Five hours later, a dozen of Finders from Black Order were already waiting for them at the train station. They had stretcher and some medicine readied. They swept him off Kanda's arm as soon as he stepped off the train. Instantly, they rushed him back to the Order.

A couple days later, when Kanda was eating his soba in a silent corner of cafeteria, he heard damn moyashi talking about Lavi.

He had an operation, lost too much blood, a few serious broken bones. He doesn't sound well, thought Kanda silently. Maybe I should visit him? Wait, why would I visit the stupid rabbit anyway? It's not like I care.

"Che." He spat annoyed and walked out of the cafeteria back to his room.

"Kanda." A familiar voice called out to him.

"Leenale,"

"Where are you going?" asked the beautiful girl in two pigtails and a smile that brightens up the day.

"Back to my room?" he answered unsurely. Leenale laughed and looked into those icy blue eyes.

"Then you're coming with me. Someone misses you a lot." She gave him a little tug and Kanda followed her obediently wondering who in the world would miss someone like him.

Walking towards the familiar section of the tall dark building, he followed Leenale into a big door that says 'infirmary'.

"Why are you taking me here? I don't want to be here." He frowned irritably and started walking away to the opposite direction.

"Oh no, you're coming with me. Let's go." Leenale pulled him back by the arm, practically dragging him behind her.

Only Leenale in the world is allowed to treat Kanda like that. If somebody else did that, the beautiful yet scary creature will sure kill them with his Mugen that hung around his waist or held in his hand everywhere he goes.

Opening a door to a sunny room, a familiar yet pale creature laid weakly on the single bed in the room. The flaming red hair tangled and messy on the pillow, his eye closed, the other behind the eye-patch and lips set in a pretty line. Any girl who sees him like this now would surely blush.

How could someone looked so good when they are lying in a hospital bed badly wounded? Thought Kanda frowning.

Leenale put a finger on her lips signaling Kanda to be quiet.

"He's sleeping." She mouthed.

Pulling a chair up beside Lavi's bed, she sat down looking expectantly at Kanda to do the same. He stood there stubbornly wondering what the hell is he doing here.

He watched Leenale reached out to touch the red-header's hand and held it tightly. A funny feeling roused in him making him so uncomfortable.

Why do my fingers itch to touch that stupid rabbit too? He asked himself. He continued to entertain himself with his stupid thoughts until Leenale could stand it no more.

She stood up and pulled Kanda to the chair.

"I'm going back to work now, you keep him company for a while." She said quietly but sternly.

"Che." He turned away grudgingly. "Why should I stay with this stupid rabbit?"

"You got him into this state, at least sit with him for a while." With that, she walked away. Kanda found no reason to argue. It's true that it's his fault that Lavi was here so wounded and weak.

He signed tiredly, pushing a strand of his long hair back into his pony tail. Wind blew softly through the window. It's always windy up here in the infirmary 'cause it's located on the 30th floor of the Order, almost the highest floor of the building.

He looked down at the stupid rabbit, wondering why it made his heart beat faster. His bandanna not around his head as usual, messy red hair rest around his forehead making him looked like an innocent child.

Junior Bookman huh? Had so many identities that he forgot who exactly he really is, hiding his true feelings behind the masks of smiles and laughter, eyes full of sadness sometimes. Why?

A gust of wind blew into the room; white lovely curtains flew in the air softly.

Kanda closed his eyes to feel the wind touching his face, dancing with his hair. It's been a long time since he felt this calm. When he opened his eyes again, all he sees is a pair of green, green eyes starring deeply into his own icy blue ones.

"Yuu-chan," those beautiful green eyes smiled at him.

"Don't call me that." he answered automatically.

The other chuckled softly.

"How nice of Yuu-chan to come and visit me." He said to himself smiling.

"Baka Usagi."

"Cold as always aren't you Yuu-chan?" he smiled softly at him making the other's heart beat jerkily.

"Thank you," said Lavi after a few minutes.

"Hmn, don't thank me for getting you into this state." was the quiet reply.

"I want to thank you for helping me to stop my bleeding on the train. I would have died there. So, you really do care about me."

"I don't want to carry a dead body all the way back to the Order that's all. Or Komui would be so pissed off."

A pair of green eyes gazed at the Japanese exorcist. Thinking how beautiful he looked with those pretty eyes and long smooth hair.

"Aww, Yuu-chan really cared about me. How nice of you." Lavi sang happily.

Getting annoyed by the minute while Lavi continued blabbering about how much he cared about him.

Suddenly, Lavi felt cold metal against his neck. It's Mugen. Kanda's face looked angry; his eyes pierce through him angrily.

"Calm down Yuu-chan, I'm just healing, don't make me stay longer then I have to." Lavi laughed nervously, still in the mood to joke around when he's in such terrible state.

"Che," with that, Kanda stormed out of the room swearing he won't come back to see that stupid rabbit every again.

A few weeks later, Kanda stood alone in his room. It was pitch black outside; only the wind and crickets can be heard. He just had a long shower, he thought back to what Lavi had said to him about how long it took for him to shower.

He hadn't seen him in a long time.

He would only pester me when he sees me anyway, thought Kanda. He gazed at his hourglass. Only two more petals left.

The exorcist smirked to himself.

"Looks like I'm not gonna live till 20 huh?" he asked the silence. He looked at his clock, it showed 1 am, time to hit the bed and have a good night sleep.

Suddenly, he heard a soft knocking on his door. Holding Mugen firmly in his hands, he opened the door frowning only to see Lavi standing at his doorway.

"What do you want in the middle of the nig-" he stopped abruptly when Lavi's deep green eyes gaze into his. Is that sadness in his eyes, the sadness that he never showed to the world?

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a flat tone. Wind blew from behind them making Kanda's hair fly loosely.

"Can I come in?" Lavi asked silently. Surprised by this weird Lavi, Kanda took a step back to let him in for Lavi usual barge in without asking.

Instantly, Lavi crawled into his bed, Kanda's bed and lay his head down on Kanda's pillow.

"What are you doing?" he shouted angrily. "Get off my bed. Don't you have a bed of your own to sleep in?"

Lavi didn't budge but only to pull the thick blanket higher around his face.

"If you don't get out this minute," Kanda warned shielding Mugen towards Lavi. "I'm gonna kill you."

A hand suddenly reached out from under the blanket and pulled Kanda onto the bed.

"What? Hey, don't touch me baka usagi!" the grip around his wrist only tightens. Kanda struggled to get out of the bed but a pair of arms suddenly circled him from behind. Tightly.

Both of them froze in their position. He could feel Lavi trembling on his back.

"Please Yuu-chan, let me stay here tonight." He asked in a small muffled voice.

"Why should I? You have a room and a bed right?"

"After so much blood you made me shed in the last mission. One night with me here won't kill me."

"Are you trying blackmail me? Let go of me you stupid rabbit." The arms around him slowly loosen, taking the chance; Kanda turned around and pinned Lavi down on his bed.

"Get out now." He threatens. Deep green eyes looked at him with an unreadable expression. The lip that always smile set in a straight line, eyes that's full of laughter now only reflects sadness. Flaming red hair was messy around his face making him want to touch them softly.

Kanda signed. He gave up. Whatever is wrong with that stupid rabbit, he's not gonna leave tonight.

"Fine." The word barely made it out of his lips. "Sleep on the bed if you like." He grumbled and grabbed a pillow to set it down on the floor far away from Lavi and lay down to sleep with his back facing him, anger still burning in him.

After ten minutes of silence. Lavi listened to Kanda's silent breathing.

"Yuu-chan." He called softly, as though afraid.

No reply.

"Yuu-chan,"

Again no reply,

"Yuu-chan,"

"WHAT?!" he hissed finally.

"It's cold down there."

"Well?! It's not you who's sleeping on the floor right?"

"Don't be angry Yuu-chan."

"Don't call me that." He muttered angrily.

"Here," he said and heard Lavi's hand patting on his bed.

Kanda turned around frowning to see Lavi patting at the empty place next to him.

"No. I would rather die of cold here." He said turning his back to Lavi again.

"Come on, don't be stubborn now." He pleads after a few moments.

No reply.

Sighing, Lavi got off the bed and walked towards Kanda. He pulled him up by the arm and surprisingly, he didn't fight back. He let him led him to the bed and lay down again this time on the bed with his back still turned to Lavi.

Lavi watched his thin yet muscular back. Those beautiful long black hair, he remembered how they looked on the pillow. Just like spilled ink.

Slowly, he wrapped his arm around Kanda. His whole body stiffens. After a few breathes, Kanda turned around frowning angrily.

"What is wrong with you today?" Kanda demanded.

"I just want to be close to you." was the innocent answer.

"What? You're crazy?" Kanda eyed him dangerously.

"Yeah, over you." Deep green eyes looked at him sincerely.

"If you continue with your craps, you're really getting out of here." warned the long-haired exorcist.

"This feeling in me, it's hard to explain. I can't have these emotions in me for I'm a bookman but I wonder why, this emotions swirl in my heart." Lavi said softly as though he was talking to himself, trying to make himself understand.

"Stupid rabbit shut up and go to sleep." Kanda said coldly and turned his back to him again.

He heard Lavi laughed to himself, a hand pulled his arm to face him. Kanda looked at his smiling face, so cheerful and happy; anyone would fall for that happy mask but not Kanda.

"Smile only when you mean it." He said flatly, his eyes cold starring into the green ones. Lavi's smile wavered a little and tears filled his eyes making it shine brightly under the moonlight from the window.

Again he laughed to himself. Kanda looked at him indifferently, wanting to reach out to touch those flaming red hair and smooth cheek.

What is wrong with me? Kanda scolded himself. Why the hell would I want to touch this stupid rabbit and hold him close?

"Yuu-chan," he whispered, mesmerized by those beautiful icy blue eyes that reminds him of deep sea water.

"I feel terrible, I had nightmares, my head hurts and I wanted to see you so much. I wonder why?" he asked shaking his head slightly in disbelief.

Tears once again filled his eyes without realizing. Kanda gazed at him, Lavi was so close, he could smell him. Old books and autumn leaves, he lay so close, he wanted so much to reach out to touch his cheeks. Tell him words that would make him feel better; brush away the tears that welled behind his eyes that threaten to fall.

"I love you, Yuu-chan." Lavi mouthed to him quietly. Suddenly, all the sound around Kanda went mute. All he heard was Lavi's breathing and his heart beating wildly in his chest. Those were the last words he thought Lavi would say to him but he's there, right there, telling him he love him. What is this feeling in me? Kanda asked himself. Why do I want to reach out and hold Lavi close and never let him go? He frown a little, confused.

Lavi looked at him with an unreadable expression. Sadness then reflects his eyes, unable to hide his sadness.

"I knew I shouldn't feel this way, but I wonder why it did. It's ok that you don't feel the same. Just don't kick me out tonight." He smiled at Kanda hiding his sadness and pain and quickly closed his eyes to sleep.

Kanda watched him for a few minutes. He could see tears fighting their way through Lavi's eye lids but the stupid rabbit stubbornly held them back. The smooth pale face and red full lips, it broke Kanda's heart to see a tear finally slipped down silently from his eyes down to the bridge of his nose then down to the pillow even though a small smile still paste on his lips.

"Smile only when you mean it, stupid rabbit." He whispered, unconsciously reached out his hand to wipe away the second tear that fall.

Lavi's face felt soft like a warm puppy. Glassy green emerald eyes opened slowly in sadness to gaze deeply into the icy sapphire ones.

Kanda then reached out his arms and hugged Lavi close to him. He didn't know why he did that but at that time, it just felt like the right thing to do. He felt warm tears damp his pajamas, Lavi hid his face in his chest sobbing quietly.

The Japanese exorcist never felt so protective over anything before. Long slender arms hugged back circling him around his waist tightly.

After half an hour hugging so tightly together, Lavi finally pulled away a little till he could look up at Kanda's face.

"Yuu-chan," he whispered looking so closely at the beautiful creature in front of him. His long hair fall loosely all around him, swaying occasionally with the wind. His hair so black, it made his face looked so pale under the soft moonlight except for the blue, blue eyes that shows annoyance or anger no more.

He can never look any more beautiful, thought Lavi silently.

Lavi could smell Kanda, faint blood and rain, made him so comfortable and safe.

Slowly, without realizing, Lavi inched closer and closer to Kanda and kissed him softly. Kanda's heart stopped. The sudden warmth on his lips, the taste of Lavi's mouth, the annoying sped his heart was beating in; time seemed to stop until he remembers to breathe and kissed back slowly, unsurely.

What the hell am I doing? Kanda shouted angrily in his brain. You're kissing the damn rabbit for god's sake.

But what scared him the most was the fact that he didn't want to pull away from this amazing feeling.

When they finally pulled away, Kanda looked deeply into Lavi's eyes to see if he's doing one of his stupid jokes what he saw was seriousness that he never seen before.

He opened his mouth to say something but long slender fingers stopped him. He shook his head lightly.

Don't say anything. Let's enjoy this silence together.

The black haired only nodded.

The future bookman gaze up at the hourglass that was on the table beside the bed.

Only two beautiful pink petals left.

He reached out his hand to touch Kanda's soft pale cheeks and bring his head together with his. Black and red hair tangled together on the big pillow as they both fell asleep till late next morning.

How could I bear to watch you leave me? Lavi's heart cries softly as he watches Kanda's angelic sleeping face until he too fell asleep.

To be continued….

Part 2 will be right up... Thank you for reading..