Author's Note: DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS! I am so upset with the events of the last episode, and the last thing I want to do is handle it in an insensitive manner. I'll fade out in a certain scene because I don't want this to be rated mature. This will be teen, but I advise reader discretion. This will be Anna's view with Mr. Green. There is violence. There is implied rape, my least favorite thing in the entire world! But here you go. Hope you guys can bear with me. I don't even want to write this, but there is a little muse in my head begging me to. Sorry.
Disclaimer: I don't own Downton. If I did, this wouldn't have happened in the first place.
Much Worse Than a Headache
The opera singer's voice was beautiful, but it didn't help my headache in the slightest. There has been a lot of excitement today, what with all the guests, Mrs. Patmore's heart attack, and that card game. My head was absolutely splitting, and I debated for a bit either to stay up here, or to maybe get some powder downstairs. I flinched at her next high note, and I made the decision to go downstairs. I leaned over to John, who seemed to as bored as I was. Why would you want to hear someone sing if you couldn't understand them? That's opera, I guess. "I have a bit of a headache." I whispered.
"Because of the singing?" He asked. He offered a slight smile. Only a slight one.
"Well it isn't making it any better." I said, only half joking. He gave a wide smile at this. "It was probably all the shouting in the game…" I admitted. After all, with someone screaming right in my ear, it's bound to give me a headache. He looked at me expectantly, as if all his features were yelling I told you so. I felt a little annoyed at this. "And I'll thank you not to comment." I didn't like it when John raised his voice at me, especially with the other servants around. The truth is that was embarrassing! I knew he was doing it to tell me about Mrs. Patmore, but he could've pulled me aside rather than to shout at me. I sat up straight, hoping I could endure this a little longer. But my head was throbbing painfully, so I turned to him and whispered "I'll pop down and get something." I got up from my chair as everyone applauds, and squeezed by the two rows behind us, then walked into the hall.
Once I got down into the kitchen, I took out the cardboard box first aid kit we always keep there. Looking over all of its contents, I pulled out a packet of powder and walked over to the sink. I emptied the powder into a little glass cup, and turn over to the sink. The faucet turned on with a screech, and water poured out of the nozzle. I fill the cup only one fourth of the way, and turn the faucet off with a groan. I splash the water around to make sure the powder is mixed in, and I hear loud footsteps behind me. I turned to see Mr. Green, with an alcohol flask in hand. "Care for something stronger?" He asked, smiling an unusual smile. I laugh a little at the ridiculous notion of me drinking strong alcohol.
"I shouldn't let Mr. Carson see you with that." I said, eager to drink the powder and water because my head was pounding.
"Do you want some?" He gave his final offer.
"Hm, nm." I said, echoing in the cup as I shake my head. Mr. Green has been some fun at Downton, but I couldn't help but notice he looked at me a lot. Mostly without reason to. I have work to do, and so does he. I drank the powder and water quickly. I didn't want John to worry about me when I've been gone this long.
"I suppose you're sick of it too." He assumed. "A grown woman screeching like a cat in a bonfire." I noticed he looked down and observed me as I turned to put the cup in the sink. It made me feel quite uncomfortable.
"That's very naughty. I think Dame Nelly has a beautiful voice." I scolded, and started walking towards the stairs back up. Mr. Green positioned himself in front of me and blocked my way. "Don't be silly," I started. "Let me pass."
"You look to me like you could use some real fun for once." He said. I didn't know what he meant by real fun, but I knew that I best get upstairs. "Is that what you want?" He said, eyes darkening.
"What I want, is to go back upstairs." I told him.
"You're not telling me that sad old cripple keeps you happy." He says, almost laughing. Sad old cripple? How could he call John those things? John wasn't sad or old. And he certainly isn't a cripple in my eyes.
"If you must know, yes." I say. I was outraged, but I don't let him know that. "He keeps me very happy. Now let me by. Please." I finish sharply.
"Perhaps you can be shown what you're missing." He says darkly. Before I have time to question what he means, he suddenly smashes his lips to mine, making it impossible to scream. I still attempted to yell, anything to get me away from him. He rubs his chest against mine, and I'm forced to tumble a few steps backward. He crushed all his weight upon me, making my bones ache, as I tried to scream and get out of his grasp. My screams came out as only muffles against his lips, my words of protest unheard, but only stifled shouts for help. All of a sudden, he lets go of me, and I get only a few seconds to realize what happened, and maybe what will happen. I looked up to him, eyes full of hatred and disgust, and the next thing I know, his fist is smashed against my cheek. I go down with a yelp, and he chuckles cruelly.
He kicks me square in the ribs and yanks me up by the arms. "Get up!" He snarls, one hand holding me and the other pulling my hair. I scream for dear life, and because I know what he's going to do now. I scream like I've never screamed before. Fear and panic pricked my spine and me chest grew tight. If I said I wasn't scared, that would be a dead lie. I was petrified. He dragged me to a secluded room. I yelled and shouted and thrashed, but none of that did any good. He threw me on a desk in the room as if I was nothing but a rag doll. He closes the door behind him as my mind goes wild. How will I get out of this? Will I get out of this? As soon as I know it, he's back grabbing me, attempting to crush me to the floor. My shouts for help echo in the room as I still thrash about, not caring what I break or what happens. Hot, stinging tears spill down my cheeks as my world seems to be falling apart in an instant. All I want is to get out of here, and to be next to John! My mind still races as he succeeds to push me to the ground. "Is this better Anna? This is what you've been missing!" His dark eyes look at me hungrily, while I yelp and thrash, attempting to hit him.
"Stop! Please stop!" I yell, squirming about and tiring to get away. Tears slip off my face as I sob furiously. He only comes upon me harder, slamming me on the desk in the room. Mr. Green then violently throws my on top of the desk. Objects fly every which way. All throughout I continue to yell, holding on to a last hope that someone finds us and stops him from doing what I know he's about to. He bangs my head against the desk roughly, sending more items on the desk scattering on the floor. He winds up to punch a second time, face curled up in an evil, wicked smile. I cover my face and attempt to brace myself for the upcoming blow. It seemed my hands over my face did next to nothing to stifle the blow, and I scream in pain. Then my head began to grow dizzy. He paws and tears at my uniform, looking much like and enraged, hungry animal solely driven by lust. Lust. My vision starts to darken as I see him fiddle with his trousers, and move closer to me. I know what he's doing. I know what's going to happen. I squirm, but with less strength. My head throbs painfully as he touches me, but I'm still kicking. I'm still squirming. My vision darkens even more so, but I still scream and squirm. "How is this, Mrs. Bates? How is this?" He asked as he bends over me.
The rest is a blur, but I know what he did. I know what happened. I will never forget what happened. The horrible, horrible thing that happened. I curl myself up in the corner of Mrs. Hughes's office. My sobs fill this terrible room. Hot, angry, lost, sad tears stream down my face. My dress is torn, and I feel so broken. So utterly broken, so truly shattered.
WHY, Fellowes? WHY?! Just one happy couple, that's all I ask. Just Anna and Bates having a good life, but no. Why did you do this?! I'm a wreck. I can't sleep now, thanks to you, Julian! I'm probably going to fail my Latin test and it's all your fault! I'm so sorry guys.