Not Yet.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Unfortunately.
Rating: T for language and Hell scenes.
Year 1.
He is afraid. There's pain everywhere. Ripping, cutting, burning, biting, tearing, melting. The pain never stops. He doesn't regret his decision, though. Not yet.
Year 2.
He can't remember how sunlight feels anymore. The only warmth he feels is from the fire and his own blood sloughing down his body. He doesn't regret his decision, though. Not yet.
Year 3.
The demon made him an offer today. For a weak moment, he wanted to say yes. But then he remembered why he was here, and he told the demon to fuck off. The demon only smiled and kept cutting. He doesn't regret his decision, though. Not yet.
Year 4.
He tried to sing a song. Demons from all corners of hell flooded his little corner on the Rack, torturing worse than ever before, laughing as he choked on his own blood. He forgot the lyrics. He doesn't regret his decision, though. Not yet.
Year 5.
He almost forgot how long he'd been in the Pit. When he asked the demon, it had smiled, his blood coating its mouth. Five years, it said. How much longer till you say yes? He told the demon to fuck off again. You'll say yes soon enough, the demon said. He doesn't regret his decision, though. Not yet.
Year 6.
He did forget his name. The demon is his only company these days, so he asks it what his name is. The demon smiles that sickening smile, blood still coating its mouth. You have no name. Not anymore. He doesn't regret his decision, though. Not yet.
Year 7.
The screams are worse than the pain, he thinks. Pain is human; these screams cannot be human. They're too cold, too hollow. He wonders if he sounds like them when he screams. He doesn't regret his decision, though. Not yet.
Year 8.
He asked the demon if it had a name. That same blood coated smile appears on the demon's face. My name is Alistair, it says as it flays the skin from his body. And I am all you have. He doesn't regret his decision, though. Not yet.
Year 9.
Alistair is asking him every time that knife cuts into him, every time the flames singe his skin. Just say yes, Alistair purrs. Make it all stop. He knows there's a reason he hasn't said yes, but he can't remember it for the life of him. So he says it. Yes. John Winchester broke in nine years. And he doesn't regret his decision. Not yet.
A/N: I just couldn't believe Alistair when he told Dean that John didn't break for over a hundred years; I think he lied. Castiel just said that Dean broken the First Seal; he never said anything about John. So I think he broke, but he was never supposed to be the Righteous Man, so it didn't matter. The Seal wasn't broken until Dean was.