FYI: this is after Mark returns from the Wild Hunt, but before Emma/Julian know that they love each other.
"Emma? Ems, where are you?" Julian mutters to himself as he looks around the institute. He looks at the clock and realized that it was 5:28 a.m., and had been looking for her for almost half an hour now. Why exactly is anyone up this early? There will always be one answer, demons. Not the demons you can see however, the ones that plague your sleep. Julian had gone into Emma's room earlier in the morning, only to find her not there. At first he was worried that she was kidnapped, but he had felt no fear or worries through their parabatai bond. "Oh Emma, where did you go?" he mutters to himself again.
Julian wanders past his siblings' rooms counting each one as he passes, making sure that they are safe. Livia, his Livvy, sleeping soundly with an instruction book about computers in her hand. He walks in, and carefully takes it out of her hand, she was researching for he twin again. They have a connection almost as special as Emma's and mine. He thinks, as he walks to the next room. Tiberius, Ty, Livvy's twin, who also had a book in his hands, Sherlock Holmes. As he puts the book back in the shelf, he is careful to match the color coded pattern that Ty uses to arrange his books. The next door, Drusilla, Dru. Her name matches the horror posters that cover her walls, ceiling, and are scattered about the floor. In her sleep she murmurs something about exorcists, and Julian chuckles to himself. In the room adjacent to Dru's is the sleeping form of Octavian, of Tavvy, of his baby. He whimpers in his sleep, and the elder brother cringes. How I wish I could have given him a life full of pain and suffering, I wish I could have given that life to them all, Julian thinks. The next door belongs to Mark. He has suffered the worst of us all, Julian walks past his now younger brother, due to Mark's years in faerie. As he continues down the hall, Julian reaches the newest member of his family, Christina Rosales. Christina holds a place in Emma's heart, therefore she is in his too. He walks down the stairs, at each step a name flys into his head, Livvy-step, Ty-step, Dru-step, Tavvy-step, Mark-step, Christina-step, and Emma. When he reaches Emma's name he pauses. Oh Emma, my Emma. Julian continues down the steps with the names of those he protects in his head and in his heart.
Absentmindedly, Julian walks out the back door, and onto the beach. He stops however, when he sees a flash of gold. How beautifully the rising sun shines off of her hair when she runs, Julian thinks as Emma runs back towards the institute, stopping directly in front of the sun. Julian is suddenly blinded, he is blinded by her beauty, blinded by her light, her goodness, her innocence. She starts to stretch, her tan arm raised over her head, pulling the muscles in her side ever so gracefully. Her back was to him, and she was facing the ocean. The waves in the water moved in time with the waves in her hair. Emma Cordelia Carstairs, my Emma Cordelia Carstairs, my parabatai, my Emma, he thought as he stared at her, watching the way the sun hits her skin, making it glow, making her glow. The one girl I want is the one girl I can never have, he thinks. His focus returned to Emma as she switched her pose to warrior one, her hands in front of her, her leg behind her in a deep lunge. She turned her head, catching sight of Julian for the first time, and came running up to him.
"Morning Jules! Is it time for breakfast already?" Emma said as she crashed into him, giggling.
"No, not yet Em, I was just wondering where you were." Julian said, quickly putting on a mask of nonchalance. As they walked inside, Julian made a promise to himself, a promise that he would one day break. I will hide my whole life, Emma, I will hide my love for you, I will hide it from you. To protect you, to keep you safe. Oh Emma, what would I do without you, my Emma.