Underpants!

Chapter one

Disclaimer: I do NOT own The Legend of Zelda or anything related to Nintendo...n' all that jazz. If I did...Ganondorf would have had free rein over Hyrule! XP I suck, I know... -maniacal laughter-

Ooookay. This is my first shot at a Zelda fic...so why not make a spoof? Bash at me all you want, but please remember... I am a HUGE Zelda fan and I don't mean for this to be taken personally! It's a joke! So for those of you who CAN'T take a joke, don't read this. Thank you and enjoy.

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It was a beautiful day in Hyrule. The birds were singing, a lovely breeze was blowing through the trees, Princess Zelda was screaming, and--wait a minute? Zelda was screaming? That doesn't sound right! What could our princess be up to this morning? Shall we take a closer look?

"M-m-my...underpants are gone!" cried the young princess as she frantically ran through the castle announcing her dreadful loss to all of the guards and other royal staff who exchanged quizzical glances before staring at the screaming princess as she passed.

"Her...underpants?" one whispered to another.

The other guard simply nodded, his eyes closing as he replied, "Yes...Simply horrendous. So horrendous, that we might have to send Link on a mission to find them...or so his majesty says..."

The first guard twitches slightly, "Surely you're not seri--"

"Hush... The princess is in a time of peril! We must respect her in this time of need with silence." said the other as the princess scuttled past again, the king waddling behind her retreating figure.

"Tis the king!" one of the distant guards shouted and the rest of the guards stood at attention, as their king spoke.

"This truly is a time of great misfortune!" the king bellowed, his fat belly jiggling slightly as he talked. "My dear princess..." he continued, "...has lost...her underpants!" the king said melodramatically.

The guards gasped, staring wide-eyed at the fat king as if he had pulled down his pants and mooned them all. –That- would truly have been even more so horrible than the fall of Hyrule, but for one reason or another, Zelda losing her underpants was much worse.

"That...That's horrible, sire!" uttered one of the guards in sheer shock, as the other guards whispered amongst themselves, saying things of the same nature, some more shocked than others, the some of them being the most air headed.

"What ever shall we do?" one asked as the guards were finally silenced.

The fat king stood for a moment, pondering deeply for an extended few minutes; much too long for such a simple thing, "We will... Board up the castle doors; put the horses into their stalls and board up the barn, and tell everyone to stay in doors! For this is a time of great loss, fellow Hylians! We must take action before the same fate that has fallen upon our princess comes upon us as well!" bellowed the king as his attempted hand movements almost knocked him over and sent him rolling down the hall. Luckily he had wonderful balance, despite his ridiculous obesity.

There was an awkward silence in the moments after, soon to be broken by the large doors of which opened to reveal a familiar figure, the shadow trailing into the long hall. The guards stared in awe at the figure, awaiting his hesitant entrance.

To be continued

XD I was terribly bored when I wrote this... -snickers- Chapter two should be up soon. Please leave all reviews at the door before you leave.