Title: It's Not Real

Author: Karma's Slave

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep and 358/2 Days

Warning: Spoilers for Birth by Sleep and Days

Rating: NC-17, for Explicit Sexual content, dark themes containing rape.

Genres: Drama/Angst

Pairing: Insane! Xemnas/Aqua! Xion

Summary: He sees it popping out from the hood of the organization coat. Losing all of his reason he has while he forgets who the face is coming from; Xion, a nobody by another definition.

Xion was limping out from her bed, every inch of her entire being ached, especially her inner thighs. Making her to the bathroom of her private quarters, Xion's lips bruised lips pressing together every time a sharp pain would hit her as she made her way to the bathroom.

Her everyday organization coat had already been off, Xion never wore it to sleep in; however she did wear the black female wife-beater top and black leggings that went along with the organization uniform, to bed however the clothes on her body now, were shredded. Xion looked like she had encounter with the beast from that castle her and Roxas would go to for missions, along the side of organization member, Xaldin.

But alas it was not the case for Xion; her beast was that of a different nature. A beast who had brought her into this organization for other purposes; Xion never thought she would be enduring the things she had read from books, while she was still in the care of number four, Vexen.

Xion's current physical state was the handy work of the superior. As she peeled off whatever was left of her clothing. Xion turned on her shower stall, stepping into the cold water; she hoped that the water would grow colder, to her numb. As the dry blood along her body was now starting to moisten and run down her legs, running over the bruises and into the shower drain.

- Earlier into the night—

The door creaked as it opened. Xion was lying in bed unable to sleep. The sheets were twisted around her legs from her restless movements, and the room felt stuffy. Rolling over onto her back and blinking into the darkness, trying to make out a shape. When she saw nothing but shadows, she wondered if she'd imagined things.

"Roxas? Axel?" thought the young nobody. Roxas was the only person likely to disturb her late at night, but he would of have said something by now. Axel would never come into her room alone. Xion finally decided that she must have been imagining it. This castle had the ability to make her question even the most common things since there were lesser nobodies all over everything so she wasn't surprised that she was now hearing doors squeak and shuffling footsteps outside her room.

When she heard a floor clank, she ignored it. She'd already looked around and seen nothing but shadows. Castle noises, no matter how unsettling, were not going to turn her into a frightened coward. Not only did she refuse to let the castle inhabitants make her look silly, but she didn't want to give Axel and Roxas any reason to tease her about not being able to sleep without getting scared.

She was so distracted by her own thoughts that she was startled when the mattress dipped down as if someone had sat on her bed. Xion opened her eyes staring at the bottom of the bed as she tried to relax. There was a dark shape near her feet that hadn't been there before. She closed her eyes again and counted to ten before opening them to find the dark shadow still there.

"Shouldn't be here," the shape mumbled in a voice too low to place. "Need to go." Xion bit her lip when the figure touched her foot. She jerked away from the hand, as it was definitely a hand. The figure was obviously human or a reasonable duplicate because the hand had been warm with long fingers and a rough palm. "Just go" she whispered with a faint tremor of fear. Its touch was disturbing because it felt too real.

'You were always such a beautiful little thing," the figure muttered. "Number II said not to look but I can't help it. Number II said no touching but I have to. I want too, don't you? I've seen it in your eyes. Always watching and waiting. Going to give you what you want, what you've been so long without."

Saw what in her eyes exactly? She felt the hand on her thighs and froze. For once Xion felt scared, really scared. "It's not real," she said softly as she closed her eyes and hoped this was just a nightmare that she'd wake from soon.

"So soft" the figure said as it crawled further up the bed, its hand gripping her thigh too intimately. Xion grimaced as the hand moved higher. She squeezed her legs together to stop it. Warm breath blew against her face and she kept her eyes closed tight. The voice that had been just a low mumble and unrecognizable; she was now convinced it was just a really bad dream.

"Open up for me, 'Aqua" he murmured, "Who?" thought Xion but that was when she saw it his face, the face of her superior, her blue eyes wide with fear.

"You like it rough, don't ya Aqua?" he asked with a low laugh. "I can be rough, Aqua." Xion felt his hand slide further up her leg. When his fingers touched the center of her leggings trying to shove him away she cried out in pain as he grabbed her arm tightly and he pushed her back against the bed hard, his hand covering her mouth. "Be good and I'll give you everything you've been wanting." His hand moved back between her legs, which were once again spread open with him between them.

Xion hearing her leggings rip as he pulled them apart, her skin stinging from where the material once was. When his fingers touched her, her eyes began to tear. She was clawing at his hand in an attempt to get it off her mouth so she could scream. She kicked at him and trying to remember what she could on missions but her mind was blank. She was shocked and scared, and had no idea what to do; he bit her neck hard. His fingers poked inside her. They were rough and big, when he raised his head he removed his fingers and gripped her chin hard enough to bruise, forcing her to look at him. The light from shaped heart moon coming in through her window, Xion could see more than the shadow of his features.

Xemnas removed his hand and then kissed her, she didn't kiss back and it seemed like Xemnas didn't care one bit. He murmured against her skin as he licked and kissed her neck and face. Xion tried not to listen to him, knowing he was talking nonsense hearing words like, tight, finally together again and beautiful. Her shirt was pushed up, his hand moved over her chest. Xemnas licked one breast, sucking it into his mouth as his other hand moved between her legs again. His fingers shoved inside her hard, making her hips buck up as Xion biting her lip till it bleed to keep from herself crying out in pain.

It happened so fast after that. There was a brief moment of pain when he forced himself inside her. It was too tight. Xion kept her eyes closed tightly and tried to think about anything other than the superior roughly thrusting into her small body. In a second attempt to push him away, silent tears fell down her face. Xemnas gripped her wrists as he forced her arms above her head. He bruised her, held her too tight and moving too deep, biting and licking at her chest.

Xemnas began to move differently, even deeper and harder. It didn't sting as badly when he shoved himself, inside her.

"Just like old times, Aqua" he said, Xion tried to tell him, she wasn't this Aqua person but the words wouldn't come out. He kissed her again. His hair brushing against her collarbone when he nuzzled her neck, and she feeling him sucking at her skin into his mouth as he marked her body over and over finally, he grunted as his body shuddered above her. She felt something warm spill inside her as his hips bucked forward. He kept moving, panting against her sweaty shoulder until he was done. When he pulled out she could feel wetness dripping from her vagina. She was sore and it felt like she couldn't breathe and as her body trembled. His fingers moved back inside her, making her cringe at the ache and throb between her legs.

"I'll always take care of you, Aqua" His hand held her in place. He began to murmur again as he licked her chest. "Aqua you really still are such a great fuck," and other things she couldn't ignore no matter how much she wanted too. His fingers manipulating her expertly, Xion was horrified when she felt a quiver in her abdomen, crying silently as her body tensed before she trembled and came with a whimper.

"Aqua," he whispered as he kept rubbing her. When he pulled his hand away she heard him suck his fingers, the sound making her close her eyes. He kissed her then, tasting the same but along with the taste of herself. He rolled off the bed and she heard him zip his coat. Xion couldn't move she was sore and ached all over. She tensed when she felt the bed move, but he only pulled down her shirt as if that would cover up the damaged he caused

Xemnas gripped her one more chin, placing a last kiss on hers, Xion didn't even blink her eyes, until the door was tightly shut.

She scrubbed as hard as she could while under the spray of the cold numbing water. Xion could still feel him, hear him, smell him, and she could even see him in the small shadows of the bathroom as if he were just waiting to take her again. Xion was so ashamed of herself for not fighting harder, for not being able to stop him, for somehow making him think she was this Aqua girl, Xion cried silently in her shower as she tried to stop thinking about what had just happened.

Xion let her back hit the one of the showers walls she slid down against it, her bruised legs to her chest, her arms wrapped around them at the knees and her face buried in hers arms. The cold water still running down on her body; Xion knew the other members couldn't hear of this, especially not Roxas and Axel. They were the reason she decided to survive through her nightmare.

Xion stayed in that spot for hours, still waiting for the water to wash away her pain, as well as her shame.

- Later—

"Yo! Xion its time to get up, you're lucky it's me and not Saix, who decided to be your wake up call." Spoke Axel as he came into Xion's quarters.

Xion's body shivered from the still running water; her eyelids fluttering open at the sound of Axel's voice.

"Ah there you are!" he said as from behind the closed bathroom door. Xion was too tired and weak to move or even voice her protest of Axel's sudden intrusion. But soon after that door opened "Yo, Xion you got to go meet Roxas..." Axel didn't finish his sentence as he bright emerald green eyes fell on Xion.

Silence over powered him, but it didn't stop him from coming near the shower stall, he watched as Xion flinching as she tried to back herself away from him, Axel took a step back from her but he reached over and turned off the water.

Xion was covered in bruises some red, others black and blue; her lips blue from the water.

While being in the organization, you see and do some pretty horrible things but Axel never thought he'd see someone he thought could possibly care about, on the end of that horror.