"Turn, Sir... Ma'am."
Matt held his breath and diverted his eyes towards the ceiling as he obeyed the instruction of the young soldier. As if the process of decontamination wasn't humiliating enough, having to share the chemical shower with a female colleague was making it even worse.
He'd protested of course, feeling that Abby shouldn't have to suffer the indignity of stripping naked in front of him and the field soldiers and share the shower with him, but she'd said it wasn't a problem. He suggested they both did it alone, but he knew resources were low and sharing was common practise. They'd done it a dozen times before, but on previous occasions Abby had paired up with Connor, and Matt had paired up with Becker. It was very different these days.
Abby and Matt were the only remaining members of the ARC team still on active field duties. It was only a matter of time before Abby stopped too. At the moment, she was only doing it out of loyalty. Her heart wasn't in it any more, and hadn't been for some time. She missed having Connor at her side. She was struggling with the day to day basics of life – outside of the ARC, everything she did revolved around Connor's failing health. He was sinking further and further into depression and not even Abby was getting through to him any more.
Connor blamed himself for Becker's accident. He'd been so keen to try and prove himself after what had happened with Philip Burton and New Dawn, he'd not been paying proper attention to the anomaly. Becker's injuries were horrific, and there had been a few anxious months when it looked like he wouldn't be able to walk again. Connor had a complete breakdown and Abby had been forced to make the heartbreaking decision to have him committed to a specialist hospital when she came home and found him attempting to take an overdose of paracetamol. She visited almost every day in the hope the old Connor that she loved would claw his way back, but he just seemed to be getting worse, not better. The team had done their best to keep Abby's spirits up, but they could all see that the fight and spark had left her.
Becker had made a slow recovery and had managed to get some mobility back, but there was no way he would be able to cut it in the field. He manned the security operation from his office at the ARC and sat beside Jess when the team were out at an anomaly. Matt missed the soldier. Despite their occasional clashes, they had worked well together. The only person Matt trusted enough to be at his side now and help make decisions was Abby.
"Turn." Matt grimaced as the jet of chemicals fired at his body. He heard Abby gasp out too and it was an automatic response to look towards her. Big mistake. He'd turned left instead of right and was staring straight at her as she faced him. They were both already doing their best to cover their modesty, but as their eyes met both looked horrified and averted their eyes away. Matt felt his cheeks burning.
"Sorry," he muttered.
"S'Okay," she muttered back. "No time for embarrassment here."
"Suppose not. Though we've really got to find a better way of doing this."
"Decontamination is necessary, Matt. Who knows what diseases and other nasties were in that slime we got covered in. We can't risk taking even the tiniest trace into the ARC."
"There's no doubt about that, Abby. I just meant... this..."
"You have nothing to be ashamed of, Matt. Not from where I'm standing anyway."
Matt felt his cheeks burn again but he couldn't help looking at her. There was a spark in her eyes that he hadn't seen in a long time; a flicker of the old Abby from the time before Becker's accident and Connor's illness.
"And neither have you," he said, then instantly regretted it. This was more than a little awkward. Of course it hadn't escaped him that Abby was an attractive woman, and having her standing naked in front of him was making a certain part of him respond in a way he was going to have trouble disguising very soon.
"You're done," the soldier called, much to Matt's relief. "There's t-shirts and trousers just outside the door for you both and some slippers you can wear until you get back to the ARC."
"Thank you," Matt called. They both moved forward and grabbed the towels to dry themselves. The chemicals stank and both knew they'd be heading straight for a proper shower when they got back to rid themselves of the smell. The clothing provided for them was standard issue, which was fine for Matt but as he watched Abby roll up the legs of the trousers she'd been given, he felt very sorry for her. Through the gap in the side of the tent, he could see one of the soldiers putting their slime covered clothes into biohazard bags, ready to be incinerated.
"I only got those jeans a couple of weeks ago," Abby said wistfully. "Took me ages to find a pair that fitted properly."
"But look what you got in return," Matt laughed, indicating her rolled up trousers. "How can you complain?"
There was that spark in Abby's eyes again and it made Matt's stomach flutter with excitement. He was somehow succeeding in bringing her back where all other efforts had failed. He had to keep building on this. "You should go out in those tonight."
"You think?" She smiled, and then her face fell back to the blank expression she'd worn for months. "Shame I don't have anyone to go out with."
"Yes you do," Matt said. "I'll take you somewhere. You name the place and I'll..."
"That's really sweet of you, Matt, but I'm not sure I'd be the company you're looking for."
"My mind's made up, Abby. I won't take no for an answer now. Even if it's just a coffee at that place across the road from your flat..."
He watched Abby's face register an interest. He had her. "The coffee's not that great there," she said quietly. "Though I do know a decent place not far away."
"You're up for it then?"
"I suppose a coffee won't hurt."
By the time they were at the cars ready for the journey back to the ARC, they had arranged to meet at the place Abby recommended and Matt felt he'd actually made a significant breakthrough. Maybe it was the start of the old Abby coming back, and perhaps her heart would return to the job and stay with the field team.
##
Having showered to remove the chemical smell from the decontamination shower and spending almost an hour deciding what was appropriate to wear, Abby finally made her way to where she'd agreed to meet Matt.
She couldn't actually remember the last time she'd gone out and done something sociable or something indulgent just for herself. Her life outside the ARC these days involved shopping for essentials, cleaning, eating, sleeping and visiting Connor. She knew this wasn't a date, and suspected Matt had simply asked her to meet him out of some kind of pity. He'd felt bad about them being forced to share the decontamination shower earlier, knowing she would have usually gone in with Connor.
Matt was already there when she arrived, a fact she was relieved about. She'd dreaded arriving first and having to sit alone, watching everyone else feel sorry for her being on her own. He waved her over, indicating that he'd already got her drink.
"Skinny latte... that's right isn't it?" he said with a slightly worried expression. "I recalled you asking Jess to get you one when she went out for coffees the other week."
"It's perfect, thank you."
She sat herself opposite Matt and took a sip of her coffee. The hot liquid was good, warming her and making her feel relaxed. It had been a long time since she'd felt like this, and within moments she felt completely at ease in Matt's company. Something seemed different about him though she couldn't put her finger on what. He'd never worn anything formal at work, so seeing him in shirt and jeans like he wore now was not unusual.
"The carrot cake by the counter looks nice," he was saying. "I almost got some, but I didn't know if..."
"Don't you dare say you were worried whether I was on a diet or not!" Abby laughed, and when she saw Matt's cheeks turn pink she laughed even more. "Seriously, Matt... Have you ever heard me go on about watching my weight? You spend too long listening to Jess."
"Guilty. Sorry." He pushed his embarrassment aside and smiled. "So, does that mean you'd like a piece of cake?"
"Why not?" She watched him almost leap to his feet and go over to the sales counter to order the cake. She couldn't quite work out if it was nerves or just a side of Matt she'd not really seen before. When they were working together to try and find out what Burton and Connor were doing, he'd always seemed very serious.
When he returned with two large slices of cake, the conversation flowed easily. It was nice to chat about superficial things of no real consequence, and even work talk felt good. Then the moment Abby had been dreading happened.
"How's Connor doing? Lester was receiving progress reports from the hospital, but I don't think he's had any for a while."
Abby sighed and dipped her eyes. She couldn't look at Matt because, truth was, she was ashamed of what she was about to tell him. "That's because he's not making progress. Far from it."
"Oh? I thought there was a hope that things would improve after Becker visited?"
"There was. We believed that once he realised that Becker's injuries weren't as bad as we'd thought..." She paused and sniffed. "It had the opposite effect. All he saw was what Becker still couldn't do and blamed himself all the more. He doesn't even acknowledge me when I visit now, I may as well be some random stranger for all he cares." She blinked, feeling tears begin to sting her eyes. Crying in front of Matt was the last thing she wanted to do.
"I'm sorry," Matt said softly, and then there was an awkward silence before he reached his hand across the table and placed it on Abby's. She thought about pushing it away, but she realised she needed the connection with someone.
"It can't be easy," Matt continued, "Watching someone you love drift away from you like that. I'm not sure that I could go through that every day."
"I don't. Not any more." Abby cringed as she said it, knowing it must sound dreadful. "I've cut down my visits to just a couple of times a week now. It's just too... painful."
Matt squeezed her hand. "I'm sorry."
"Stop saying you're sorry!"
"Sorry."
Abby let out a laugh and pulled her hand away from Matt's, taking a large spoonful of cake. Matt looked embarrassed and took a mouthful of his own cake before sighing and trying to think of something else to talk about. The waitress rescued him, coming over to check if everything was okay. When she'd gone, the moment had become the past and the conversation went back to safer topics.
Two coffees later, they made their way across the road towards where Matt had parked his car. Abby only lived a short walk away so said she'd leave him at his car and make her own way home.
"I should at least walk you to your door," Matt said. Abby gave him a look that could have almost killed him and he laughed. "I'm not suggesting that you're not capable of getting home on your own, I just thought it would be a nice thing to do. If you don't..."
"No, it is a nice thing... Go on then. Walk me home." She playfully slipped her arm through his and they walked along continuing the conversation from the coffee shop. As she listened to Matt relaying a story about Jess trying to teach Lester how to use the tracking on the ADD, she couldn't help looking at him. She still couldn't figure out what was different about him today but there was a part of her that liked what she was seeing.
They stopped by the door that led up to Abby's flat and Abby released her hold on his arm. "I guess this is where we have to say goodbye," she said. "Thank you. It was good to do something that isn't work or..."
"You're welcome, and I agree. You're not the only one that's been neglecting having a personal life recently. I've enjoyed it. Maybe we should do this again? Perhaps next time you'll let me buy you dinner?"
"I think I'd like that," Abby said, and suddenly all sorts of thoughts whirled around in her head. "Though you'd have to let me buy you dinner in return another time."
"Well that's at least two dates then."
Abby saw him almost kick himself at the word 'date' and it amused her. "I suppose it is," she smiled.
"I'd better be going, before I say something else I'll regret. I'll see you tomorrow." He turned to go back to his car and Abby felt an urge to do something completely out of character.
"Matt."
He turned back to look at her and she leaned in, reaching up almost onto tiptoes and kissed him gently on the lips. "Thank you," she whispered.
Neither could be certain who moved next, but their lips met again in a lingering, warm kiss. Abby felt strong arms fold around her and she realised it was exactly what she needed right now. She responded, pulling Matt closer against her and reaching her hand to the back of his head. She was aware that the kiss was deepening and that his tongue was pushing against her lips, urging them apart. She yielded, gasping as she tasted him and tangled her own tongue against his.
After what felt like many long minutes, they parted. Both were red cheeked and breathing hard, and neither knew what to say.
"Abby?" Matt finally broke the silence between them.
"What do we do now?"
"I don't know. I was out of line, I shouldn't have done that."
Abby took a deep breath and pulled him into another kiss. She needed to let him know that he should have done exactly what he did, and that she didn't want it to end. "Come inside," she breathed, taking a step towards the door, rummaging in her pockets for her keys. She fumbled with the lock, her heart racing and her head spinning. Quite where this was coming from, she didn't know, but didn't care either.
She went inside and didn't dare look back to see if Matt was following. Being rejected was not an option she cared to contemplate until it happened. The door closed and the lock clicked and it was only when Matt nervously cleared his throat that she turned to face him. Since Connor had been on the scene, she'd never found anyone else even remotely attractive, let alone feel the need to do what she was about to do. This was the old Abby, the Abby before the ARC defined who she really was.
"If you're not sure about this, I'll leave and we'll never mention this again," Matt was saying.
"Stop talking!"
Abby found herself pushed against the wall, Matt's mouth was on hers as his hands tentatively moved to her shoulder and hip. She let out a gasp from deep within and allowed his tongue to explore her mouth as she let hers dance with it. As it grew more heated and their breathing hardened, she fumbled to unfasten his shirt buttons. It was her way of signalling where she intended this kiss to go. Matt took the hint and was mirroring her actions, pulling at her shirt front as he unfastened the buttons.
With both shirts discarded to the floor, Abby began to move backwards towards the doorway of the living area. They stumbled their way through the room, with Abby intending to guide him to the bedroom, but it seemed Matt was not willing to wait. He backed her against the arm of the sofa and smothered her in another hard, heated kiss which Abby returned more than willingly.
His kiss moved to the nape of her neck, then behind her ear and to her shoulder. Abby whimpered at the sensation of his warm breath on her bare skin and then again when she felt his hand move between her thighs. She parted them for him and he began to caress her through her jeans as his free hand moved to her back to try and undo her bra. She waited a few moments until she heard the inevitable groan of frustration and then reached behind to help him unfasten it. She closed her eyes, feeling the bra slide from her shoulders and then his hand grasping one of her naked breasts.
"Matt!" she breathed, her body beginning to tingle in anticipation of what was to come. Her breast began to swell as he caressed it, and then his hot mouth moved from her shoulder to the other breast, licking it and suckling at the hard nipple. She was on fire now, breathing hard and desperate for more.
She felt Matt lift her slightly so that she was sat on the arm of the sofa and he moved so that she could wrap her legs around his hips as both his hands lavished attention on her breasts and he nipped and sucked at her neck. He ground against her, the hardness of his erection evident even through the thickness of his jeans.
One of his hands was at the button of her jeans now, and as her waistband loosened she gasped out. She knew exactly where his hand was heading and her insides were doing gymnastics at the thought. She moved her own hand to cup his erection, gently grasping him and making him sigh. There was no doubt just how turned on they both were, and at the pace this moving at, it would only be a matter of moments before he would be inside her.
Abby pulled away. This wasn't how she wanted it. A quick fix would be the easy option, and she had no doubt that Matt would have her crying out as he made her come. During the uncertainty of what secrets Connor was keeping, she had occasionally wondered what it would be like with Matt. One night, when Connor hadn't been home in over 36 hours, she'd even picked up the phone and started to call Matt, deciding at the last minute that it was a bad idea.
But now, what she actually needed was proper intimacy. She craved skin to skin contact and wanted to be wrapped in strong, confident arms. She saw the disappointment in Matt's eyes and she realised he thought she was pushing him away completely. "I just think we should slow down a little," she breathed. "Can we take this into the bedroom?"
Matt nodded and took a step back, allowing Abby to lead the way to a door on the left. Abby's heart was pounding and her stomach churned, feeling incredibly nervous all of a sudden. Until now, it had all moved very quickly and there'd been no time to think about what they were actually going to do. Now, sitting on the bed and locked in a heated kiss with hands moving swiftly over each other's bare flesh, it was clear this was not just a quickie.
Matt eased her down onto her back, following to lay on top of her. She parted her thighs, allowing him to settle between them as she gripped onto his hips with her legs. They ground together, breathing hard as their mouths mashed together, and then Matt began to slide downwards, kissing Abby's flat stomach as he finished unfastening her jeans and began to pull them over her hips. Moments later, he was throwing them to the floor beside the bed and then hooking his fingers into the elastic of her underwear.
She was naked beneath him now, a fire igniting inside her as she felt the warmth of his breath on her stomach and then on her inner thigh. "Matt!" she gasped, his tongue lashing against her clit several times, making her hips roll.
"So beautiful," he breathed, urging her thighs wider apart and then dipping his tongue into her wet folds.
Abby cried out as his tongue probed her for several long, wonderful, moments. She urged him on with her soft cries of pleasure and then he moved his mouth to suckle the sensitive bud of her clit whilst he slid a couple of fingers into her. That first orgasm hit hard, making Abby's body shudder and her hips roll in time with Matt's movements.
As it subsided, Matt sat up and began to unfasten his jeans. Abby sat up and helped, keen to now get him naked too. Between them, his jeans and underwear joined Abby's on the floor and they were kissing hard and passionately whilst Abby grasped his hard cock, stroking the thick length. Matt broke off the kiss and gazed into Abby's eyes, the look saying more than any words could at that moment.
It felt so natural. Abby settled onto her back again, welcoming Matt between her thighs again. This time, she could feel his cock pressed against her wet entrance, tantalisingly close. She ground against him, pulling his mouth to hers and tugging at his bottom lip, breathing hard. "Please!" she breathed, begging him with her eyes. Then, he was pushing inside her, sliding in easily. It took just a moment for them to adjust to exactly the right position for each other, and then he was pushing into her deep.
Abby grasped onto his back, bracing herself for his thrustings. He moved steadily, finding exactly the right spot inside Abby that would send a bolt of intense pleasure through her body and make her gasp. As the heat and passion between them rose, his pace became more rapid and harder, seeming to probe deeper and deeper each time.
"Abby! I.. god, Abby!" Matt stopped, his cock buried as deep as it would go and took a moment to try and catch his breath. Abby could feel her internal muscles clamping around the hard shaft as she kissed him and stroked his back, allowing him to recover before she took control and managed to flip them both so that he was now on his back beneath Abby.
Abby moved, grinding herself up and down at the pace she needed. Matt gazed up at her through heavy lidded eyes, watching her and not quite believing this was happening. He placed his hands on her hips, guiding her for a few moments and then he grasped her breasts hard as he thrust his hips to meet her downward movements. The pace grew frantic and intense, and another orgasm engulfed Abby making her cry out loudly.
In that moment, Matt rolled them back into their original position and he began to thrust hard and fast. Each thrust sent a wave of pleasure crashing through Abby's body, and they soon began to roll into each other. She sensed Matt was close to climax too, his body tensing and thrusts becoming more erratic and desperate. She liked the sound of her name spilling from his lips amongst a string of expletives, mixed with her own gasps and cries and his name fell from her lips as she rapidly moved towards the edge of a precipice that would leave her gasping and quivering. She tried to hold that moment back as long as possible, needing and wanting to take Matt over the edge with her.
"Fuck!" He was there finally, his hips jerking violently as he spilled himself inside her. Abby felt the heat of his release moments before her own body began to shake. It was an intense moment, one that left both breathless and sobbing as they moved together, Abby's body willingly accepting everything he was giving her.
When they eventually reluctantly parted, they exchanged tender kisses. Both were red cheeked and exhausted, neither speaking as they simply fitted into the comfort of each other's embrace and fell asleep.
##
Matt blinked in the dim light, momentarily disorientated. Then he remembered where he was and why. He'd had sex with Abby. Good sex, at least he thought so anyway, and the memory of it was a very pleasant one. But clearly Abby didn't share the same feelings since she wasn't in the bed next to him. He did wait for a few moments, hoping that perhaps she'd just gone to the bathroom or gone to get some water, but when she didn't return he realised he'd made a terrible mistake.
The etiquette of a one night stand was not unknown to him. He'd heard many a conversation between some of the soldiers at the ARC as they talked about their various conquests over the weekend. He had outstayed his welcome and should have been gone long before Abby woke up. Now she was probably hiding out in a spare room waiting for him to leave because she couldn't face him.
Finding the switch for the bedside lamp, he hunted down his jeans and underwear and racked his brains trying to remember where his shirt was. He supposed it must still be in the entrance hall where Abby had thrown it after removing it. He smiled briefly as he remembered, then made his way out of the bedroom.
Abby wasn't hiding in a spare room. She was sat on the sofa, wrapped in a large fluffy dressing gown with her head buried in her hands. She looked up as he came out and he knew straight away that she'd been crying.
"I'll be out of your hair in a minute," he said hurriedly. "Just need to find my shirt. I'm sorry, I should have left pretty much as soon as..."
"It's okay," Abby sniffed.
Matt paused. He knew he should just leave but he couldn't. She looked so tiny and vulnerable, and his heart ached for her. She was clearly hurting and he wanted to help make it better. "Why don't I make us both some coffee, eh? I should probably try to wake up a little before I drive home."
"Whatever."
He set about putting the coffee pot on, watching Abby as he did so. She was trying to pull herself together, angrily wiping the tears from her cheeks. As he passed the mug of coffee to her and settled himself beside her, she forced a smile of thanks and then wrapped both her hands around the mug, staring ahead.
Eventually she cleared her throat and spoke. "Is it bad of me that sometimes I wish I didn't go home early that night?"
For a moment, Matt was puzzled, then he realised what she meant. "The night you found Connor taking the overdose?"
Abby nodded. "I was supposed to be at the pub with you guys for Jess's birthday, but something didn't feel right and I left early. If I hadn't, I would have been too late to save him."
"You mean you'd rather he had died that night?"
"I told you it was bad. But, if he had died, I could grieve for him and then move on with my life eventually. There would be no guilt attached to what we did last night."
Matt understood. He reached for her hand and squeezed it briefly.
"I haven't been in a relationship with Connor for months, but officially we are still together and I cheated on him." She fiddled with her engagement ring. "And though he barely acknowledges my existence now, if I tell him it's over... It could be the final nail in the coffin for him and tip him completely over the edge. I couldn't live with that on my conscience."
"No-one would blame you for walking away, Abby. You're a gorgeous young woman with needs. Everyone at the ARC at some point has questioned themselves as to how they would cope in a similar situation. The love you have for Connor must be so strong..."
"That's the thing. In the beginning, it was love that kept me going, hoping that my Connor would fight his way back and beat the illness. Now it's just loyalty. The Connor I loved is so far away now I don't think there's any hope of finding him again."
Matt watched a tear trickle down her cheek and he felt an urge to wipe it away for her. His fingertips brushed at her cheek and she made eye contact with him, her bottom lip trembling as she tried not to cry. He could almost see the conflict in her mind, one she didn't know had existed until now. Part of him felt bad since it was his fault, but at the same time he was also glad that he had forced her to actually face the reality of her situation. He admired her loyalty and her strength, and knew that her relationship with Connor was extremely unique because of their shared experience; one that no-one else would be able to understand.
"What do I do, Matt?"
"Only you can answer that one, Abby. I think you've been trapped in an existence that you've never thought to question because you had no need to. If nothing else comes of what happened between us, then at least it's made you wake up."
"I'm glad you made me go out. I have to admit, I almost didn't . Sleeping with you was the last thing I expected to happen though... but I don't regret it."
"I didn't intend getting you into bed either. I just noticed how sad you've been lately and wanted to try and bring back a bit of the old Abby. I admit that I have always been attracted to you, but the thought of actually acting on it never crossed my mind... but for the record, I have no regrets either."
She tangled her fingers into his and gazed at him. Matt couldn't stop himself, he wanted to take away all of her pain and make her smile the way she had last night. He leaned in and softly kissed her lips, testing the waters for her reaction. She let out a surprised squeak but then returned the kiss, deepening it and wrapping her arm around his neck to draw him closer.
Matt felt the familiar stirring in his groin as he responded to the kiss, sliding his arm around her waist. His body ached to have her again, but his head told him that he shouldn't let this go further. His head won out, and he pulled away. Abby looked disappointed and he had to turn away. "You should probably try to get some sleep," he said. "And I'll head for home."
"You don't have to leave," she said. "It's still the early hours and you're tired too." He watched her stand up and slowly walk to the bedroom door. She paused at the doorway and gave him a look that seemed to pleading with him, and then she went inside, leaving the door open just enough for him to see inside.
He didn't know what he should do. She was giving him a green light and expected him to join her. After battling between the various consequences for a few minutes, he decided he needed to be with her right now. They could deal with the fallout later.
She was already under the duvet when he silently went into the room, her dressing gown hung on the hook at the back of the door. Swallowing nervously, he sat on the edge of the bed to remove his jeans, feeling Abby's eyes on him as he did so. He debated whether to remove his underwear then decided he should leave them on, not wanting to assume that her invite was for more sex. Then he slid himself under the duvet too.
After a few moments, he felt Abby's arm snake around his waist and her body press against his back. He waited to see what her next move would be. Whatever happened now would have to come from her, even though his body ached to take her in his arms again and make love to her. He closed his eyes, feeling guilty for even thinking that this could be about love. It was only a few minutes ago she'd been talking about still being in a relationship with Connor. He remembered how no-one had been surprised when they had returned from their year stranded in the past as a couple. "Made for each other," was said many times and he knew it was true.
"Hold me," Abby whispered. "That's all I ask."
He rolled over to face her, pulling her against his chest and folding his arms around her. He breathed in the familiar scent that was all Abby, a scent he'd inhaled many times and longed to have close to him as he did now. All those long hours he'd spent with her at the ARC when they tried to work out what Connor and Burton were doing, watching her try not to show how afraid she was that Connor was drifting away from her. If he hadn't been so in awe of the unique nature of Connor and Abby's bond, he'd have made some kind of move on her back then.
"It'll be okay," he said softly, kissing the top of her head. She pressed in closer, then he felt her body shake and a sound escape her lips that he recognised as an attempt to hold back a flood of tears. He stroked her hair and told her to just let it out. When she finally allowed the tears to flow, he cried silently with her. He didn't envy the decisions that lay ahead of her.