This is my first posted fanfiction. It takes place in the spring after the war ended in late summer. The Gaang is visiting Zuko at the Palace and someone from Zuko's past is haunting him. It will be a multiple chapter fic. Hope you like it and enjoy reading.

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender or any characters, plots, or places from the franchise. I do not intend to profit from this story in any way. I do own Cadence though, so please be nice.

Chapter 1:

Of Ghosts and Nightmares

Zuko walked forlornly down the long halls of the Fire Nation Palace. He felt better at having told the truth about having no feelings for Mai, but still his heart was heavy as he strolled down the hallway. If he was honest with himself, he was jealous of what Katara and Aang had and Toph and Sokka. However, he knew deep in his heart that pretending to be in love with Mai would only make him more miserable. She never listened to Zuko and was always patronizing him. His nerves were on edge anyway with the upcoming meeting with the Earth King, that and the fact that his advisors and the Fire Sages were constantly bothering him about taking a wife.

They all thought Mai would make the perfect wife, but they didn't know her like Zuko did and he could not listen to her sighs and complaints for the rest of his life. To make matters worse, Mai told Zuko off in front of the Gaang today and Zuko had finally had enough. He yelled back. Zuko had lost his temper in a way he hadn't done since living in Ba Sing Se a little less than a year ago. Zuko ranted and Mai listened, he made sure of it, and when he was done he looked her in the eye and told her to leave.

A small smile graced the Fire Lord's lips as he thought about what happened next. As Mai stomped off with Zuko glaring after her he was startled to hear clapping. Zuko turned to see a speechless Katara with her mouth attempting to touch the floor, a wide-eyed Aang trying to come up with something to say, and Toph and Sokka were clapping. Sokka had the biggest grin on his face while Toph's face held her signature smirk. Iroh cleared his throat and Zuko turned his attention to his uncle prepared to apologize only to stop when he saw the smile on his Uncle's face. Iroh patted Zuko on the shoulder before laughing out an "it's about time." Zuko looked dumbfounded.

The smile slipped from Zuko's face as he remembered why he was walking blindly through the palace's corridors several hours before sunrise. He just couldn't sleep as thoughts of spending the rest of his life alone plagued him. Moonlight streaming through a doorway caught his attention. He looked up for the first time since leaving his room to find that he had unknowingly traveled to his mother's garden. A ghost of a sad smile swept across the young Fire Lord's face. He was taken back in time as a young boy holding on to his mother's long robes. Feeding the turtle ducks had been his favorite time of day. The only time his world revolved strictly around him and his mother. The one time he was perfect and felt completely and satisfying loved.

Even after living at the palace for months, Zuko still felt like a stranger. He didn't understand why home didn't feel like "home." He took a tentative step out into the night. As much as the garden was a sanctuary to him as a child, he felt like he was intruding now. Whenever he came to the garden these days he felt like he wasn't welcome. He knew that was ridiculous and that his mother, even in death, would want him to enjoy the space. As the Fire Lord he had every right to be here, and yet he still found himself looking over his shoulder expecting to see ghosts of the past.

Zuko sat down on the bench located under the sakura tree. He looked into the small pond to see the turtle ducks, feathers fluffed out in the chill of the night, sleeping peacefully. As the stars danced overhead, memories from his childhood came floating back to him, memories of tickle wars with his mother and games of tag, firebending demonstrations where he was praised instead of scolded, and of course memories of falling asleep in his mother's lap as she told stories or sang songs.

A silent tear slid down the Lord's cheek. Just as Zuko reached up to wipe the tear away a sakura blossom fell from the tree branch overhead and landed in his palm. A different memory rushed through the young man's mind. A memory he had believed long forgotten.

An eleven year old prince sat crying beside the small pond. His mother was gone and he was very upset. The only person who cared about the small boy was gone. He was left with a father who hated him and a sister who wasn't much better. Of course if didn't help much that now his father was the Fire Lord. Prince Zuko wiped his nose on his sleeve as a little girl came and set down quietly beside him. Okay, so maybe he wasn't entirely alone. He was sure his friend still liked him. Cadence was his best friend. She had been for years. In fact, she was his only friend. Azula's friends, Mai and Ty Lee, didn't count since he didn't like them.

"I know you are upset Zuko, and I don't blame you. I remember how much it hurt when my mom died. It feels like there is no one left to love you and you feel really alone. But you're not. I'm still here Zuko, and I always will be; no matter what." Cadence took Zuko's hand in her own. She sighed and laid her head on Zuko's shoulder and they sat in companionable silence for a long time.

Zuko finally broke the silence. "I don't know how you kept going. I remember you cried for a while but then things went back to normal. I can't imagine how you felt like this and yet you kept on going. You are so strong and I'm… I'm not. I don't have the courage you have." Zuko's voice broke as he remembered how weak his father thought he was. No he wasn't strong like Cadence. Zuko was afraid to stand up to his sister but Cadence would stare Azula down. Cadence never backed down.

Cadence stood up and broke a small branch off of the sakura tree above them. She sat back down and stuck the blossoming branch in Zuko's face. Knowing how much Cadence loved the smell of the sakura blossom he inhaled deeply just like she wanted. Cadence took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. She moved to sit in front of the prince, their knees touching. As she looked him in the eye she began, "Look Zuko, you are my best friend and I care about you so much. That's why I'm not going to let you sit here and pout. I know you are feeling unbelievable pain and I won't lie to you, the pain doesn't ease up for a long time. But you have to remember why you are still here. You are here to live and keep fighting. You are strong, much stronger than you think. I know that."

Zuko took a deep breath. The memory was too painful. He stood up and broke off a branch much like Cadence had done all those years ago. Lifting it gently to his nose he inhaled deeply. The scent struck a nerve as the memory returned even stronger. The words Cadence had spoken echoed through his head. He closed his eyes and listened to her repeat them.

"Courage is not the towering Oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile sakura blossom that opens in the snow."

Zuko's eyes jerked open and he looked around. The voice was so loud, so real, he could have sworn Cadence was standing there repeating those words to him. As he settled back on the bench he thought about the words spoken so long ago. He didn't understand it then and now he still wasn't sure he did. How could a flower blooming have more courage than an oak tree? It seemed impossible.

Zuko looked up into the starry sky. The sun would be rising soon. He could already hear a few servants stirring around preparing for another day. Zuko sighed and stood. He solemnly walked back to his chambers, completely ignorant of the looks the guards and few servants gave him when he passed. Upon entering his bedchamber, Zuko looked down to notice the branch still held tightly in his fist. Walking to his bed, Zuko gently placed the blooming stick into the pitcher of water on his bedside table then climbed into bed. He drifted into a fitful sleep dreaming of a time he would rather forget.

Zuko ran up to the oak tree in the palace court-yard. The tree had to be over a hundred years old and sitting on the bottom-most branch was his best friend.

"Geez, Zuko what took you so long? You told me to meet you here an hour ago."

"Sorry Cadence. Uncle stopped me to practice for tomorrow."

Cadence sighed. "Are you sure you are ready for an Agni Kai? I mean, you will be fighting a master firebender. I'm a little worried for you. I know you are good but still…"

Zuko grinned and grabbed the branch swinging up to sit beside Cadence. "Don't worry so much Cade. That General is 80 years old at least. Let's have some fun."

The two children played until late evening. Cadence had to go home for dinner but before she left, she turned to Zuko and said, "I had fun today. I wish we could play together like this every day; forever."

The prince frowned, "Why would you want to play forever? We are growing up. I'm thirteen; we are too old to play tag anymore."

Cadence shook her head and took Zuko's hand in hers. "No, my prince, we are growing older not up. I refuse to grow up." Zuko cocked his head to the side and furrowed his eyebrows. "What?"

"Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional. I have to go. See you tomorrow!" And with a wave and a smile she ran home.

Zuko tossed and turned in his sleep and whispered, "Cadence."

The pain was unbearable as Prince Zuko curled into a ball on the arena floor. He looked up when he heard his name screamed in what could only be described as blood-curdling. Zuko saw Cadence running onto the arena yelling at his father. He could see his Uncle Iroh trying to grab her arm as she climbed the stairs. Then he saw the impossible. Cadence sent water hurtling at the Fire Lord, freezing him into a block of ice. As the pain became unbearable the prince passed into sweet and welcomed darkness.

Zuko was standing in darkness. He looked down to see himself dressed in his Fire Lord robes, complete with crown. He saw a puddle in front of him and looked at his reflection. It looked different somehow. Slowly, Zuko raised his hand and touched his left eye. He felt smooth skin. His scar was gone.

Zuko looked up when he heard crying. It sounded like a little girl. He saw his childhood friend Cadence crouched on the dark floor. As Zuko walked towards her, Cadence looked up at him, and what he saw frightened him. Cadence looked up and most of her face had been severely burned. She was coated in blood, her own blood. But what she said next cut the Fire Lord deeper that her appearance.

In a frail, broken voice, the little girl sobbed, "Why? Why did you abandon me Zuko? How could you give me to your father like that?" The sad eyes turned to stone as anger and hatred filled them. Cadence stood and screamed at Zuko, "You are no better than HE is! You are both monsters!"

Zuko awoke with a start sitting straight up in his bed. The nightmare haunted him for the first year of his banishment. His young creative mind invented awful ways to torment him with the torture of his best friend. The friend he abandoned when she gave everything to save him.

He wiped the sweat from his brow and took deep breaths trying to slow his beating heart. His uncle decided to walk in right then. Iroh, seeing Zuko in the state he was in, dropped the tray of tea he was carrying and ran over to his wide-eyed nephew, loudly calling his name. Iroh called loud enough that Katara, Aang, Sokka, Toph, and two guards ran into the room as well.

As the Fire Lord regained his composure he looked up to see his captive audience. "What are you all doing in here?" They all had the nerve to look sheepish except for Toph.

"Relax, Princess. We heard Iroh screaming and came to see what was wrong. So are you gonna tell us why your heart was beating out of your chest or am I going to have to make you. Keep in mind I will know if you are lying."

"I'm sorry, Nephew. You looked like you had seen a ghost." Iroh made himself comfortable on the bed beside Zuko and looked to the guards. "Would you mind fetching us some more tea? It seems I spilt mine."

Katara spoke next in a sickly sweet voice used to speak to a child, "So was it a ghost or did wittle Zu-Zu have a nightmare?"

Sokka laughed outright while Aang had the decency to attempt to cover his snicker. Toph knew better, she had felt the changes in Zuko's heartbeat and breathing. Something had really scared the Fire Lord.

"Both," croaked Zuko. He looked at his uncle and said, "It was her. I saw HER."

Iroh thoughtfully rubbed his beard before speaking. "I thought the nightmares had stopped a long time ago. And even then you haven't thought of her since the first year of your banishment, have you?" Iroh's intense gaze searched his nephew's face for any signs that Zuko had been hiding the truth from him, but he found nothing to show that.

Zuko turned and dropped his feet over the edge of the bed opposite to his uncle. With his back to Iroh, Zuko quietly spoke. "I have to know… I NEED to know what happened to her." He looked at the table beside his bed. He reached and picked up the branch he had placed there not a few hours before.

"Hmmm," Iroh looked to the four innocent children standing at the foot of the bed looking confused. He cast his glance to his nephew's back, then down into his lap. He calculated his words carefully afraid of upsetting his nephew but knowing there was no way around it. So he spoke.

"Lord Zuko, we have been through this before, though you were much younger then. Perhaps not knowing is better…" Iroh stopped speaking when he saw Zuko flinch. The tell-tale sign that Zuko was about to lose his temper. When Zuko jumped up from the bed and whirled around to face Iroh, the old man wasn't so sure he was one-hundred percent safe.

The Fire Lord exploded, "Better than what?" The seething man began pacing as he raged at his uncle. "Better than imagining what happened? Better than seeing a child with her face burned off asking me why I abandoned her? Better than seeing a twelve-year-old girl in chains while my father beats her to death. Better than seeing a dark room coated in the blood of my best friend while she lays there dying? Or is it better than hearing her sobbing, crying and begging me to tell her why I abandoned her to rot in a prison cell?" Zuko stopped. A look settled on his face, a look that could only be described as broken. When he spoke again his voice was soft, small, and sounded suspiciously like he was close to tears.

"She… she asked me how I could give her to my father. She told me I was no better than he was. And then… then… she called me… a mon… monster." A tear slid down his face as he admitted his nightmare to his closest friends and relative.

Zuko took a deep breath and steeled himself. "I need to know… I need to know if she's alive… or if I killed her." He looked into his uncle's eyes and was surprised to see tears.

"Zuko, I must confess to you. I don't know what happened to her. I tried to stop her but she was too fast, too determined to save you. After her first attack and the surprise at her being a waterbender, I turned and saw you pass out. I collected you from the floor and walked away to carry you to the infirmary. I didn't stay to watch what happened once your father unfroze himself. I didn't want to see, just as I didn't watch when he burned you. I looked away because I am a coward. I should have been the one to run up there and defend you; not some twelve-year-old girl. I am the one who abandoned her not you. You have no right to feel guilty, Zuko." Iroh hung his head ashamed.

Zuko looked at the branch in his hand, then at his Uncle before turning and walking past his friends and out the door. He traveled the familiar path down the same corridor he traversed earlier that morning. Making his way into the garden he paused and stood looking at the blooms covering the sakura tree. The wind carried to him a childish laughter and a small, bright voice saying,

"I'll never grow up, Prince Zuko. It's too much fun being here, with you, let's stay children forever."

A/N: Thanks for reading if you made it this far. More chapters will follow real soon. I would love reviews and I do take requests. So feel free to tell me what you would like to read. :D Chapter 2 will be up soon if anyone cares. Thanks!