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Greatness Shared, Grief Halved


For a moment, she thought about ignoring the chime. But there was a mild sensation in the back of her head that told her who it was, and while she'd preferred to be alone over the past couple of days, she realized she wouldn't mind his company right now.

"Come in," called T'Pol.

Trip stopped just past the threshold, letting the door slide closed but not advancing into her quarters. His eyes went to the lit candles. "I'm interrupting. I'll go."

"I wouldn't have responded had I not been interested in your company." While he might have pushed the issue before, she knew he wouldn't have now.

"That's fair," he said, nodding but not moving. "I just…I just wanted to say…tushah nash-veh k'odu." His pronunciation was accented, but not incorrect.

"I thank you," she responded formally, rising but not blowing the candles out.

The hint of a smile appeared briefly. "I thought Vulcans didn't say 'thank you.'"

"It's an approximation of the traditional response," she answered. "I would expect English is likely easier for you to understand."

He nodded. "Yes. Hoshi taught me how to say that, but I don't know which word is which. How are you? Doing all right?"

"Under the circumstances, I believe I am doing adequately enough."

"That's good to hear." They fell silent for a moment, until he made a nervous gesture. "Well, I guess I'll…leave you alone now."

"It's all right. Please come in."

He did, cautiously, looking with some interest at the candles. "Were you meditating?"

"No. It is a ritual of remembrance."

"For your mother?"

It was an obvious question, but she'd long since gotten used to those from humans in general, and this human in particular. "Yes."

He took a long breath. "She was a great lady."

That piqued her curiosity. "I had gotten the impression that you and she were not on the best of terms."

"She didn't approve of me," he answered. "But I can accept that, since it was because she was concerned I might hurt you. That's honorable in a parent."

T'Pol sat back down in front of the candles. "I believe she came to view you with some respect. She asked after your welfare while we were in the Syrrannites' compound."

"What did you tell her?"

"That the adjustment had…not been easy, but that you'd made an effort that I greatly appreciated. I believe she respected you even more after that." She paused. "As I do."

He looked away, taking another sharp breath, before meeting her eyes again. "Like I said, she was a great lady."

"Please sit down," she said softly, returning to the mat.

To her surprise, he sat not across from her, but beside her. He slid off his shoes, and she realized he was wearing neatly pressed civilian clothes. The meaning was not lost on her: he was here as Trip, not Commander Tucker. He'd stood with the crew, in dress uniform and formally presented ranks, during the official ceremony earlier in the day.

"Is it okay for me to be a part of this?" he asked now, bringing her back to the moment.

"An honest sentiment is always welcome under these circumstances."

"Honest," he repeated in a near-whisper. Then, at a somewhat more discernible volume, he continued, "I mean…you know, in your quarters…alone, with a man who's not…" he trailed off.

She briefly laid her hand over his, knowing that now was not the time to tell him that Koss had released her. "I'm grateful that you're here."

His lips twitched briefly into another near-smile at that, confirming that he'd identified her intentional repeat of the sentiment she'd expressed just prior to her marriage. "I just wanted to make sure you're all right."

"I'm fine," she answered.

"Really." It wasn't a question.

She let out a single breath, knowing that he knew her too well. "As I said, I'm fine for the circumstances. The ritual is…comforting." Another indication of their friendship: with someone else, she wouldn't have been likely to admit something like that.

He nodded. "Were you finished? Don't let me interrupt."

"You aren't." She faced the candles again and began reciting the ages-old litany, speaking in English for his benefit. "We honor the memory of T'Les, my mother. I am diminished by your death but enriched by your life. It is one to be held in the highest regard and esteem." She paused. "You are welcome to add any comments, if you would like."

He gave her a sideways look, and his words were hesitant. "We will remember you. At the…rising of the sun – suns – and the setting of the moon, I'll remember, for as long as I'll live." He paused. "It's like something I heard once, at another funeral, and it's true."

"Indeed."

Now he was the one who took her hand, holding it gently in support. They sat in silence for a long time, quietly sharing the moment. Trip's earlier words echoed through her mind. She was a great lady.

That, thought T'Pol, was not only true, but an indicator of the respect he deserved. If anyone had reason to think less of her mother, it was Trip.

Leaning forward, she blew out the candles. "It's getting late."

He dropped her hand and stood up. "Yes. I won't keep you up. I…I just appreciate you letting me be a part of this."

"I am honored." Such simple words, yet they carried such a profound meeting. "As, I'm sure, she would be."

Trip nodded and reached up to brush her cheek briefly with his fingertips before he left. "Grief might be an emotion, but that was a Vulcan saying I got from Hoshi. I'm here if you need me."

She took a deep breath as the door slid shut and then reached for the padd with the Kir'Shara translation. Following a sudden urge, she keyed the search function, and indeed there was another Vulcan saying about grief.

Shetau tushah-kyhnna tor'ulef-tushah. Grief shared becomes grief halved.

She laid the padd back down and let tears trickle down her face. She might be the only one in her quarters now, but she knew she wasn't alone. That, like the ritual, was a comfort.


Author's Notes:

Trip's first statement to T'Pol is "I grieve with thee." Vulcan translations are courtesy the Vulcan Language Dictionary, although the proverb I placed in the Kir'Shara is actually a Honduran proverb from here on Earth.

The litany that T'Pol uses is taken from information in the Star Trek Online Geekipedia. Trip partially quotes a prayer from the Jewish Yizkor Service.

This one's for you, Mike. Your mother was a great lady, and we're all diminished by her absence.