Mary Sue wo Sagashite! (or: The Adventures of the Way-Too-Perfect Shinigami)

A note from the doink:

Hi, it's doinkies! I know I should really be working on a new chapter of Kouyama Mitsuki's Inbox, as well as getting to work on that Disney movie parody I've been talking about, but doinkies has been rather busy lately, with all sorts of finals and tests! To make up for this, doinkies got a random burst of inspiration to make a humorous Mary Sue parody, which increased when I read one FMoS Mary Sue fic on ff.net. So, without further ado, here is Mary Sue wo Sagashite!

Takuto: You just want to annoy me again, don't you.

doinkies: Hey, I'm the authoress, I can control whatever you do…

Takuto: Gee, you sound bitter, I wonder if you're doing this over agony that your first original character that you wrote about so many moons ago was really a Mary Sue…

doinkies: SHE WAS NOT A MARY SUE!!!!
Takuto: Fine then. Now I really have to get that pre-washed denim straightjacket…

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Once upon a time, there was a shinigami named Sakura, who had long silver hair and glistening turquoise eyes. The author couldn't think of any more names, so she chose "Sakura" because hey, it's pretty, and you cannot underestimate the prettiness of the name "Sakura". She could speak all languages, including Latin and the long-lost Atlantean language. She also had fairy wings because the author thought that fairy wings were purty. She was from America, though she could speak perfect Japanese because, hey, she's super-lingual.

Anyhow, Sakura got kicked out of her shinigami team, Yaki Soba (thus fulfilling the 5-minute rule of names: think of some Japanese food and name the new shinigami team with the name of the food), and was sentenced to Earth. If Sakura couldn't find a soul, she would become a ghost and wander the ends of the earth scaring people with her perfection.

So Sakura found Mitsuki, Takuto, Meroko, Izumi and Jonathan, and introduced herself by saying "Hye. How r u?". The author was then burned alive by her English teacher for misspelling "Hi". The author's first language was definitely English, but you wouldn't know it from all those misspellings in her fics. A foreign kid who only knows 3 English words and inserts "doink" randomly in sentences could write better stories than this author. Anyway, back to Sakura.

Sakura looked at Mitsuki and decided that she would be a good soul to steal. To do this she transformed herself into an equally-perfect human, and enrolled in Mitsuki's school. Using her best fangirl Japanese, she applied to Seed Records and became a new recording artist, and Mitsuki's other rival. She sang like a songbird and her first single, "Practically Perfect in Every Way", became a hit on the Oricon charts.

Mitsuki, Takuto and Meroko were understandably miffed so Takuto began his tactics for making Mitsuki #1 again. Because the author has a talent for leaving pickup-truck sized plotholes in her fics, Takuto knew what Sakura was up to, but had to keep it a secret from Mitsuki because Mitsuki would be doinked off.

Anyhow, that plan involved Mitsuki and Sakura competing to star in a commercial (gee, where have we heard this before?). Sakura boldly stated before the audition that Eichi-kun was secretly her, gasp, Twoo Wuv™ and that Mitsuki couldn't have him.

While Sakura was singing, Izumi stole her soul as a request from Takuto, because the author forgot that Sakura was really a shinigami and was already dead. Everyone mourned Sakura, and Takuto realized that he actually was in Wuv™ with her. Mitsuki was the only one who was happy, and she scribbled graffiti on her dead body. Takuto told her to stop it and went back to mourning Sakura.

THE END

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Takuto: That was the worst Mary Sue ever! UGH! Why couldn't that author see that I loved Mitsuki??

doinkies: Hey, I made that story up from the top of my head because it was intended to be a parody.

Takuto: Oh, right. STILL..*beats up doinkies*

Leave a review if you enjoyed the fic! Constructive criticism is accepted but no flames, especially from Mary Sue authors who say "HEY, I DIDENT DOO A MARY SUE STOREE!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111!!!!!!!!!!".

Stay doinky!

doink-chan