The Voice Of The Heart

By: chocorouge

Pairing: Squall/Rinoa & some Seifer/Rinoa

Rated: R

Summary: Squall leaves for a deadly mission that causes the Seed members to become stranded and lost. Everyone thinks that they were lost at battle, including a broken hearted Rinoa. When he finally returns, who does he find wrapped around Rinoa's arms? Seifer.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the FFVIII characters!

Chapter 1: Rejection

"Squall, please be careful."

Rinoa sighed as she watched him quickly gather his belongings into a small duffle bag and slid his gunblade into its sheath at his belt.

"Rinoa, you know I will."

Squall hated when people told him to be careful. He never really knew what to say in response to that statement or anything else really for that matter. Even when he was talking to Rinoa, who was the closest person he had ever been with before, it was hard because everything he said usually came out wrong. He just wasn't good with communicating with others. He rarely spoke a sentence that contained more than a few words. Sometimes he wondered why he was even born a human. Why wasn't he an inanimate object or something? Something – anything – that didn't require much speaking!

But the main reason was because it had been just plain awkward between the two of them. The pair had been alone in his room after attending a class together the day before.

/FLASHBACK

"Squall..." Rinoa trailed off from what she was saying as she noticed how close they were sitting together on his bed.

She could almost feel his skin touching hers. How they had gotten so close in proximation, she didn't know.

Squall looked up from one of his books that he had held in his hand and gave Rinoa a questioning glance. His eyebrows knitted together. He hadn't noticed that they were so close together on the bed

"Yeah, whats wrong?"

Rinoa felt her heart jump for a second. His face was so close to hers. She looked at his lips that were slightly open. They looked so soft and kissable... If only she had the guts to kiss those lips.

"Umm...nothing." Rinoa looked down and felt her face turn red.

"Okay," Squall said casually and went back to his book.

Rinoa's heart continued race. She was so sick of having to hide her infatuation for him and being so nervous around him. She needed to tell him how she felt about him or else it would probably consume her and drive her mad. She had already hid these feelings for him for far too long now. It was either now or never!

"I...actually, I do have something to tell you."

Her heart continued to pound so loud that that was all she could hear.

Squall looked up again from his book. "Is something bothering you?"

Rinoa exhaled loudly and tried to muster all the courage she had to tell him. "Squall, I've been hiding this from you for a long time and I just need to let it out or else I'm going to go insane."

He nodded for her to continue.

"Well, it's just that... I like you, Squall. I like you more than as a friend."

Squall was stunned and opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. He didn't know what to say to her. He always had a soft side for Rinoa and deep down within him, he knew he liked her back. But if he admitted he liked her too, it would probably lead them towards being a relationship with one another. He didn't know if he could handle it at the moment, or ever. He knew he was being a coward but he was scared of such a commitment.

"I don't think we should be in a relationship," he said bluntly after a long pause. "We should just stay friends."

Pain from his words jabbed at her heart. Rinoa knew it from the start. She knew she shouldn't have told him and she mentally slapped herself for her embarrassing mistake. Deep down inside she knew that Squall didn't like her yet why had she confessed?

"Haha, it's alright." A fake giggle erupted from her throat but the hurt look on her face was still evident. "Of course. Just friends! Silly me."

"I'm really sorry."

Squall didn't know how to console her. It had been his response that had been the cause of her pain so he really didn't have the right to console her anyways.

/END FLASHBACK

He quickly led the way out of his single room with Rinoa following him and locked the door behind them. They walked down the stairs towards the main hall in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Squall wasn't even sure if she was comfortable to be with him again since the incident from the day before. She had looked so upset that he wished he had just told her the truth, that he really did like her too.

"Squall, you are late! We have all been waiting for you!"

The sudden voice interrupted both their thoughts as they faced a red-faced Quitis who was tapping her foot impatiently and her arms crossed over her chest with the whole crew behind her. They glanced at the members behind her shoulder who also sported similar annoyed expressions on their face.

"You were supposed to be here 10 minutes ago, Squall," Quitis continued with a frown on her face. "Hurry up and get your things onto the bus!"

Squall obliged and followed his commander towards the bus with his duffle bag on hand. He glanced behind him where Rinoa stood. He wasn't sure how he should say goodbye to her. Everyone was waiting impatiently for him and he didn't really know what to say to Rinoa at the moment.

"Later, Rinoa," he said casually.

"Err...yeah, bye," she replied absentmindedly.

Squall quickly boarded the bus along with the rest of the crew. Quitis boarded last and the bus drove out of the garden gates and into the distance.

Rinoa sighed loudly as the bus disappeared. Their goodbye had been awkward. She hated how long pauses and awkwardness hung above all their conversations now. She wished she hadn't confessed. If she had known rejection was this painful...

"Rinoa!" a high pitched voice yelled from behind her.

She quickly spun around to see Selphie running down the main stairs towards her with a cheerful smile plastered on her face.

"Selphie!" Rinoa exclaimed and her unhappiness temporarily was forgotten. She smiled as her best friend came up to her side.

"Rinoa! Why are you standing all alone in the main hall? Don't you have class?"

"I was just sending Squall off. He's gone on another mission with some of the other SeeD members and he'll be back after tomorrow," Rinoa explained.

She continued on with her story and told her friend how awkward things had been with between her and Squall and how he had rejected her the day before.

"No way!" Selphie exclaimed in response, "but I see how he is when he's with you!"

"What do you mean?" Rinoa's eyebrows furrowed together.

"Well, first of all, I can totally see that he cares for you, more than a normal friend. And second, he always talks about you and steals glances at you whenever you aren't looking." Selphie explained and put her right hand to her chin as she thought deeply for more reasons.

Rinoa laughed at her friends' reasons. "Even so, that doesn't mean that he likes me. I directly confessed to him and he outrightedly rejected me. So I'm pretty sure that means that he doesn't like me."

"I think he's just putting up a front," Selphie said, still thinking. "He's probably scared of starting a relationship with you because you are such a great girl and he's afraid to mess up!"

Rinoa laughed again. She loved hanging out with Selphie and talking to her. She always able to lift her spirits whenever she was down.

"Thanks for listening, Selphie. You made me feel a lot better."

"No prob, Rinoa! But I really think something good will happen to you guys even though he rejected you. It's just a hunch," Sephie winked and giggled.

Rinoa sighed and mentally thanked Selphie again for lifting her spirits. She didn't want to think about Squall anymore. In the mean time, she would just hit the books and study to take the pain off her mind. Hopefully she could get over him as soon as possible before he got back so that things wouldn't be so awkward between them.

A/N: Thanks for reading :) For those who read my other stories, just wanted to let you know that I won't be updating them anymore. I've lost interest in anime. ' I'll get another chapter of this story up and running soon.