A Regretful Rejection
It was Hermione's last day ever at Hogwarts. She knew that this day would come, and she was well aware that she would have to tell Minerva of her feelings. It was most likely the last chance that she would ever get, and she couldn't leave without telling her about her emotions. Hermione reflected on the moment when she had realised when she was in love with Minerva.
She had found Minerva crying in her new office, after Professor Dumbledore's funeral. Her hair was down, and her eyes were red and slightly puffy. It was the most beautiful image that Hermione had ever seen.
She and Professor McGonagall had become quite close over the past six years, as the Professor and herself had met at least once a week for the past few years to discuss Transfiguration among other things.
"Minerva," Hermione sighed as she saw her teachers grief. Hermione made her way around the desk, and embraced her beloved Professor. As she held her teacher within her arms, Hermione felt an emotion that was so powerful, and so strong that it overpowered all others.
As Minerva sobbed in her arms, Hermione spoke soothingly, "Shhh. It's alright. Shhh," she whispered.
After a while, Minerva calmed, "I'm sorry, Hermione. I just, I don't know."
"You needed to let it all out," Hermione stated softly.
"I'm very sorry, Miss Granger. I should have had better control of my emotions."
"It's alright Professor McGonagall," she paused before whispering, "We all need to release our emotions some time."
"Why are you here, Miss Granger?"
"I just wanted to let you know that Harry, Ron and I are not returned to Hogwarts next year."
"What will you be doing?" Minerva asked, "Surely whatever it is can be done from Hogwarts."
"I'm afraid not, and I can't tell you. Professor Dumbledore only wanted Harry, Ron and I to know."
"You might need some more information about whatever you are trying to do. Are you sure that you can't tell me?" Minerva asked. Even though she would never admit it, she was hurt that Hermione wouldn't trust her.
Almost as though Hermione could read her feelings, she said quickly, "It's not that I don't trust you. It's just that I don't want to break a promise to Harry, or make him break the promise that he made with Professor Dumbledore. I really would like to tell you, but I can't."
"Is there anything else that I can help you with?"
Hermione seemed almost stung by the emotionless tone that Minerva employed, "No, that's all. Thank you Professor McGonagall," Hermione spoke in a cold voice, that she had never used with Minerva before.
"I'm sorry Hermione. It is just a difficult time."
Hermione nodded before leaving, at the door she paused and looked back, "Good bye Professor." As she got past the Gargoyle, she whispered, "Forgive me Minerva, but I think I love you."
Walking toward Professor McGonagall's office, she hoped against everything that there was some way that Minerva would return her feelings. Pausing before she knocked, Hermione took a deep breath and prepared herself for a rejection.
She knocked and waited for a response.
"Come in," a loud, clear voice stated.
Hermione nervously entered the office, and looked around nervously. Noting her nervous expression, Minerva said gently, "Are you alright, Hermione?"
"Ah, yes. I, um, I just came to say goodbye," she whispered, wondering where her courage had gone and why it had chosen now to desert her.
"Sit down, Hermione. Would you like a cup of tea?" Minerva asked, seeing that her prize student was still very nervous.
Hermione nodded and seated herself on a chair and looked at Minerva nervously. She knew that before she left the Deputy Headmistress's office, she would need to have told her.
As Minerva brewed the tea manually, she wondered why Hermione looked so nervous. They had a friendly relationship and, while their conversation, behaviour and attitude toward one another was purely platonic, Minerva had fallen in love with the young woman.
When she had first realised, Minerva was overcome with disgust and hatred for herself. How could she have fallen in love with a woman that was young enough to be her grand-daughter? But as the year(s) had progressed, Minerva had only fallen more in love with her intelligent pupil, and not out of love as she had so desired. Now as the final day of Hermione's education at Hogwarts, Minerva felt both a deep sadness and a reluctant joy.
Once again, Minerva looked at the young woman, and noted her nervous expression and the way she bit her lip as she looked down into her lap, almost ashamed of the reason that she had come here. The kettle whistling startled Minerva out of her thoughts and she quickly finished making the tea.
"Hermione," she said gently, still noting that the younger woman looked very nervous, "What are you so nervous about?"
"It's nothing," she whispered, "I just don't want to leave, you know. I mean, Hogwarts has been like my home for the last eight years. I really don't want to leave," but before Minerva could utter words of comfort Hermione raced on, her voice becoming faster and more frantic as she continued, "and I'm scared. Harry's going to be an Auror and I'm worried about his safety 'cause he takes a lot of risks, and Ron's going to help his Dad but they do raids and they're dangerous, and I'm going in Healer training and I won't be able to see them. And I don't want to leave you, because then I have no-one to talk to and you always comfort me and know what to say and you're always there and I don't know if I can survive without you and I really think," by this time Hermione's voice was almost hysterical and Minerva quickly enfolded the girl into her arms and comforted her.
"Shhh," she whispered soothingly as one hand rubbed circles on her back and the other ran through her hair, "Shhh, it will be alright." Noting the wetness that was appearing on her robes, Minerva hugged the girl tighter, hoping to offer more comfort but also savouring the feeling of Hermione in her arms.
"Harry's got training to help him assess the risks and he won't go barging into anything without thinking it through. Ronald will be with his father and other Ministry officials while conducting raids so that if anything does go wrong, he has people surrounding him to help. And you being in Healer training won't mean that you will lose contact with any of them. You can always write or apparate, it's just a matter of timing. And as for seeing me, you are welcome anytime, and we can always keep in contact with letters," Hermione pulled Minerva closer to her and snuggled into Minerva's chest, as she sobbed, "There really is nothing to worry about."
"But I'm so scared," Hermione whispered, and her voice was muffled so that Minerva had difficulty understanding her words, "it sounds so stupid, but I wish I would never grow up and just stay here at Hogwarts. I don't want to leave, ever."
"Shhh," Minerva said softly, once more, "You can always stay or visit here. Hogwarts will always be open, dear."
Hermione smiled through her tears at the endearment Minerva used, and pulled back slightly.
"Thank you, Professor McGonagall. I didn't mean to, I mean, I didn't want to - " she paused unable to continue for lack of words.
"You didn't mean to lose control. We all need to release our emotions sometime," Minerva said smiling at the woman, "A very intelligent person told me that once."
"Who?" Hermione asked bewildered.
"You," Minerva stated, as her smile grew. Hermione smiled weakly back at Minerva as she remembered when she had said that. Her smile quickly faded as her nervousness returned once more. Covering quickly, Hermione stated, "I'm sorry, but I need to pack some more."
Standing Minerva looked at Hermione closely. Something was on the girls' mind, and Minerva knew that Hermione needed to tell someone. Smiling at her student, Minerva said, "I hope I get a letter from you."
Hermione nodded before rushing to embrace her teacher once more. She held her tightly almost as though she were her lifeline and this was the last time that she would ever have this opportunity. Hermione knew that this had to be the moment. Just before she let go, Hermione whispered, "I love you."
Hurriedly, and before Minerva had a chance to process what she had just been told, Hermione released Minerva and raced to the door. However, before she could leave, Professor McGonagall, who had finally regained her control, gently pulled her back.
"I think we need to talk," she said gently.
Hermione nodded, but her eyes remained on the ground and she felt the tears well up behind her eyes.
"Hermione, do you know how old I am?" she questioned.
"Eighty-two years, four months, and 27 days."
Minerva looked stunned but nodded. "You do realise that I am old enough to be your grandmother."
"I don't care," she whispered, as a tear made its way down her cheek, "I love you."
"You may think that, but Hermione. You are a seventeen year old girl, you don't know the intricacies of love, and though you may be more mature for your age, that does not mean that it makes any difference."
"You've always said that love is the most powerful magic in the world. It shouldn't matter that you're old than me. It's not fair," she added bitterly.
"Hermione, you have your whole life ahead of you. You'll get chances to go overseas, meet other people, pursue career options. You'll meet someone your own age that will love you, the way you deserve to be loved."
"But I don't want to. I want to stay here, and I want to be with you," Hermione stated, well aware that she was sounding like an immature five year old.
"Hermione, that is not an option," Minerva said sternly.
"Why not?" she said stubbornly, "Don't you love me?"
"That isn't the point."
"I thought you did. I thought maybe there was some way that you might love me the way I love you. But I guess I was wrong," Hermione sounded so lost and sad that Minerva's heart broke, "The first time I'm wrong in anything just has to be when my entire happiness depends on it," she whispered cynically.
"Hermione, I do care for you," Minerva said gently, but before she could continue, Hermione cut her off.
"Then why not? It doesn't matter what people say, I want to be with you, Minerva. Please?" she begged.
"It is not possible." Minerva stated strictly, her voice turning cold.
Hearing the ice in Minerva's voice, Hermione's heart broke, "I love you," she wept, "I've loved you for so long, and I never knew what to do. And then I decided to tell you, and now I have, I wish I never met you, then I wouldn't be this miserable," she sniffled heavily, as the tears cascaded down her cheeks, "I love you, and I don't think I'll ever stop." With that parting comment, the broken-hearted Hermione rushed from the room, leaving behind a heart-broken Minerva.
(Please tell me if you think I should write another chapter. Maybe a happy ending or a meeting years later or something along that line. Please let me know what you think.)