A/N This is a story I have wanted to write for a while and was trying to find the right fanfic. This is in season 8. If you don't like it I can appreciate that but please be respectful in your review if that is how you feel. I figured Caskett would be the right couple for this after the episode in season 6 The Good the Bad and the Baby. I think Kate would struggle with how she feels about having a baby. Also I should have another update later this week for Gathering Storm
/
"What a day." Castle said as he got into bed, "Spying on cheating husbands is so much fun."
"Babe, you don't have to do it." Kate said coming in from the bathroom, "You're a writer. You don't need the P.I business. Alexis and Haley can handle it."
"I know." He agreed, "But after all the years of working together, just writing is boring."
"Well, maybe I can distract you from your boredom." She leaned in and kissed his neck and he began to cough and saw the disappointment on her face
"Sorry, I've had this sore throat all day. Are there any cough drops in the bathroom?" he asked
"Yeah, I think so." She replied with a sigh and flopped back against her pillow
After a few minutes of searching he came out of the bathroom with a strange look on his face.
"What's wrong babe, didn't find any?" She asked
"Kate, what's this?" he asked holding up a round container
Her eyes widened but she said nothing
"It's your birth control pills." He said, "Pills you said you stopped taking almost a year ago."
"Rick, let me explain." She began but he cut her off
"Exolain!" he yelled so loud startling her, "You lied to me."
"Rick, I stopped taking them a couple of months ago. I promise." She pleaded
"Oh so that makes it okay?" He asked, "You lied to me for almost a year. Why, Kate?"
She sighed heavily before continuing, "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just…I wasn't ready."
"They why the hell didn't you just tell me?"
"You were so excited at the thought of having little Castle babies and the pitter patter of little feet." She explained, "You know I'm not a baby person. I thought when we were ready to have our own I'd feel differently."
He stared at her for a moment, "You don't want kids."
"Rick, I said I stopped taking them. I'm ready now." She said
"That doesn't change what you did." He said and turned to leave the room slamming the bedroom door so loud it made her jump
She sat there on the bed tears streaming down her face
/
The next morning after a fitful night's sleep Kate went into the living room but no one was there. She dialed Rick's cell but only got voicemail.
Babe, it's me. Please call me and at least let me know you're okay. I love you.
She sat down on the sofa and the tears started again but she had to get herself together for work so she got up and headed for the shower. After her shower she checked her phone again and saw she had a text from Rick
At the P.I. office. I'm fine.
The brevity of his text said it all. She headed to work with a knot in her stomach
/
After a long day she headed home not having heard again from Rick. She had tried a couple more times but it always went to voice mail. She opened the door to the loft and didn't find him in the living area or the kitchen. She went to his office and found him sitting there staring into space with a drink in his hand.
"I know we need to talk." She said
"I think you made it clear last night." He replied not really looking at her
"Rick, I love you." She said, "You know that. I made a huge mistake. I terrible mistake and I am so sorry. But we can get through this."
"I don't think so, Kate."
"Yes, we can." She replied, "We always have."
"This isn't like before." He explained, "Before when we kept secrets it was because we thought we were protecting each other. But this, this was pure selfishness on your part."
"I was scared." She explained again, "I didn't know how to tell you."
"And I don't know how to trust you now."
Her eyes filled with tears, "I'll do whatever it takes to earn that trust back."
"I don't know that you can." He said getting up, "I want you to move out." He walked out of the room leaving her in tears
/
She had nowhere to go but a hotel. She couldn't wrap her mind around what was happening to her life. She knew she had done it to herself. Looking back she didn't know why she was so afraid of telling Rick the truth. He could be immature and infuriating but he was also understating and kind. She was sitting in her office when her cell phone buzzed. It was her mother in law.
At lunch she walked into the coffee shop and found Martha waiting for her.
"Hi, Martha." She said hesitantly
"Thank you for meeting me, Katherine." She replied
"I guess Rick talked to you." Kate replied taking a seat
"Yes, he did." Martha confirmed, "And I'm not here to judge you. I'm here because I want to understand and help if I can."
"I don't know if you can." She said, "If you had seen his face, his eyes. He's so angry with me."
"Why didn't you think you could talk to Richard about this?" Martha inquired
Kate sighed heavily before continuing, "I don't know. I guess I really didn't understand my feelings and I didn't want to disappoint him."
"Disappoint him? My dear not being honest with him is what disappointed him." Martha said, "Look, I said I'm not here to judge but I know you two can work this out."
"I don't know if we can get past this one, Martha." Kate said, "I think I've destroyed my marriage."
Martha takes Kate hand and gives it a comforting squeeze.
/
A week later Kate's in her office. Things weren't any better and only Ryan and Espo knew anything was wrong and she didn't go into detail and they respected that. Again she found herself lost in thought as she looked at the photo on her desk from their wedding in the Hamptons. A knock on the door brought her out of her thoughts.
"Hey Boss." Ryan said, "We've got something on that murder down by the docks
"Okay." She said standing up but had to steady herself
"You okay?" He asked
"Yeah I just stood up to fast." She started to come around from behind her desk but she felt her knees give way.
Ryan rushed in and grabbed her arm, "I don't think you're okay. You should go to the hospital. I'll drive you."
/
At the ER Kate waited in an exam room for the doctor on call to return with her test results. She knew it was nerves and stress, plus not eating much of anything. The doctor pulled the curtain back and greeted her
"Captain Beckett. I'm Doctor Fleming. I understand you had some lightheadedness and a headache."
"Yes." She confirmed
"Well, I'd say that's normal under the circumstances." He said as he looked over her chart
"What circumstances?" She asked, he had no idea of her personal life
"You're pregnant, Captain."
"Pregnant?" She asked
"Yes." He smiled, "About five or six weeks. Congratulations. You should make an appointment with your OB/GYN right away."
All Kate could do was nod her head.
/
Later that night after work she went to the loft not knowing what she would say to Rick. She knocked on the door and Rick answered it.
"What are you doing here?" He asked
"Rick, we need to talk." She said
"No we don't." He said trying to shut the door
She pushed back on the door, "Yes, we do. I'm pregnant."
TBC