Forgetfulness, Chapter 1
In which everyone forgets
Remus Lupin honestly had no idea how he ended up in a broom closet. With Mary MacDonald. On the night of a full moon. Locked in…
He was going to kill James and Sirius.
Hopefully not literally.
Oh, Merlin.
لا مانع لي، أنا مجرد فاصل أسطر، حتى لو كنت أنا في اللغة العربية، مما يجعلني تبدو باردة جدا. حتى إذا كنت تهتم لترجمة هذا، ويقول كلمة برتقال ذهبي في رأيك.
It all started because his friends thought he needed a snog.
"James, Sirius; we've been over this. Peter even gets it, and that's saying something. Now for the last time, I don't need, or want, to snog some random girl!" he said exasperatedly, slamming his DADA textbook and glaring at his friends.
"But Moo-neeey! It'll make you more fuu-uun!" whined Sirius
"Yeah, help you, ahem, lighten up a bit" said James, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, earning himself a textbook to the face.
As James yelped and threw the textbook across the room, Sirius persisted "Oh, come on, Rem! It's our fifth year, and you still haven't gotten anywhere romance-wise! What if it wasn't some random girl, what if it was a certain Gryffindor in our year? No, Prongs, not Evans." he said exasperatedly, cutting off James' outraged interruption.
Catching on, James picked it up. "We know you fancy her, Remus. At least try and s-"
Remus stood up, shaking his head. "No, no, and no! This conversation is over." He walked to the portrait hole, and his two friends followed him.
"Where do you think you're going, with denial all over your face like that? It's not healthy. " said James, trying to get in front of him.
"Patrols, you know, because I'm a prefect. It's what happens when you're responsible- Or, at least, aren't in detention quite as much as your friends."
James and Sirius shrugged as Remus eyed them accusingly, and James smirked "Guilty, but why should being a prefect stop you from-"
Remus cut him off with a raised eyebrow, saying " You also don't snog- or worse- a different random girl in the nearest broom closet every-single-time your poor traumatized friend is on patrol. " he said accusingly.
"Ah, you've wounded me deeply!" cried Sirius, clutching his chest. "That time of the month, Moony?" he added, winking as Remus rolled his eyes.
"Great, we'll come with you." said James cheerfully, basically ignoring the entire conversation so far.
"Oh, no, you won't- You've got homework to finish- and besides, you know we've got a long night tonight." Remus said firmly, his voice dropping to a whisper, but the two had stopped listening, and were whispering and looking past him at Marlene McKinnon, who was staring at them like they were loony (Probably because they looked it, I mean, this is James Potter and Sirius Black we're talking about…)
After about a minute of this, Remus announced "You guys know I'm right here, don't you?" The two started, and gave him sheepish, shifty grins.
"Oh, right. Well, you go on to your patrols, nothing to worry about here." said James, steering Remus out the portrait hole.
Sirius called "Have fun being responsible, and look out for those broom closets!" Waving goodbye, the two slammed the portrait shut.
James and Sirius advanced towards Marlene with scarily mischievous smiles, and she immediately abandoned her textbook, and tried to walk away, but they grabbed her arm, and sat her down in one of the poufy armchairs all around the common room Before either one could open their mouth, she pointed a stern finger at them, and aid "No, No, and No. Noooo."
Looking hurt, Sirius said "Aw, McKinnon, you didn't even let me finish!"
James looked at his childhood friend pleadingly, and said "Marlene, come on."
She puffed out air and looked at them suspiciously as Sirius seized the moment "How'd you like to tell us something you won't be supposed to tell us, for, er-"
James interrupted, seeing Marlene's eyebrows fly up, saying "Let's call it, for the benefit of our friends, accordingly benefitting our mutual bond and Hogwarts in general by eliminating on of the most obvious romantic stalemates in the entirety of Scotland?"
Marlene leaned forward. "Now, I'm intrigued." They all shared a smirk, and Marlene leaned back, stroking her chin, and said "Go on…"
لا مانع لي، أنا مجرد فاصل أسطر، حتى لو كنت أنا في اللغة العربية، مما يجعلني تبدو باردة جدا. حتى إذا كنت تهتم لترجمة هذا، ويقول كلمة برتقال ذهبي في رأيك.
Remus shook his head bemusedly at his friends' antics, and half to himself said "I will." He walked down the corridor, and started his afternoon rounds. Normally they only patrolled at night, but since the rumors about a certain dark wizard had started spreading, afternoon patrols were assigned on free days. Remus had drawn the short straw, but he didn't complain. He liked going on rounds, it gave him time to think. Of course, he rather wished he didn't have to today. He never wanted to do much of anything on the day before a full moon, but then he couldn't sit still either.
So there he was, strolling through the sparsely peopled corridors of Hogwarts, looking for anything out of the ordinary, dangerous, or Dark-ish. Ironic, he reflected, that probably the most atypical, dangerous, Dark-ish thing in the castle was he himself. It was times like these, around others, even the diminished number wandering the halls, that he truly realized just how much of a danger he was. If he was ever, god forbid, loose in the castle… All that human flesh…
He realized his mouth was watering, and he spat in disgust, terrified at the blood-thirsty thoughts and instincts filling his mind. He realized that in his fear, his concealment Charms had fallen, and his scars were visible. After a moment of panic, they were back up, and Remus glanced around furtively, but there were few people passing, and none seemed to notice the shabby prefect-blending in as always, Remus thought bitterly.
He shook his head to clear it, and set off at a brisk pace towards the seldom-used corridors and empty classrooms he was assigned. His thoughts turned to the less morbid matter of broom closets. He'd caught too many couples using them for their snogging purposes to be entirely comfortable doing it himself. It was only made worse by the fact that half the time, Sirius was part of the couple. And almost never with the same girl, which Remus found especially disturbing.
It wasn't as if he minded not snogging anyone, in a broom closet, least of all. But it was true, romance-wise, Remus hadn't had much luck. Part of the problem could be that he didn't try. Like, at all. He didn't chase multiple girls like Padfoot, or stalk one like Prongs, or even moon over those out of his league, like Wormtail. He'd heard the girls in other houses call James and Sirius some strange things- bad boys, players, tragic-he's-taken, hunks- he recalled one time a girl had licked her lips while calling one( he wasn't sure which) a 'dish'. Mystified and disturbed, he'd shook his head, and laughed about it later with his appalled friends.
Well, he definitely wasn't any of those things, but at least he wasn't completely undesirable like poor Peter, vacationing in Bulgaria- in March. He was shabby and skinny and scarred- but mysterious and a Marauder.
Maybe he couldn't, even if he were to try, but Remus wasn't sure that was entirely true. His friends hounded him about it, but Remus just never got a girl. And if he was honest with himself, it was for a reason. What girl would have him if they knew? And how could he not tell them and still be with them? There was no point trying. Nothing could ever come of a relationship- marriage to a monster? A child ashamed of his father-maybe even like his father? Danger every month, prejudice at every turn? No, he could never endanger someone he loved like that- and there it was. If he loved them, he would keep them safe-and himself far away.
Strange, he mused, how it all seemed to come back to that- what he was. It's inescapable- It controls everything. His friends aren't bothered by it, it's easy for them to forget, but how can you when it's inside you every day? When you're a monster, you don't forget. Not for a second. The world won't let you.
Lost in his morbid thoughts, he had come to his destination, and automatically started patrolling, but as distracted as he was, it was doubtful if he'd see a hoard of Death Eaters riding on elephants marching out of the old charms classroom. But he did notice when he ran headlong into an equally distracted Mary MacDonald.
"Sorry!" they both said at the same time, and smiled.
"Me first." said Remus, chuckling and rubbing his head where it had connected with hers. "Sorry, just got lost in thought, I suppose."
Mary smiled knowingly. "Me too. So what are you doing down here? No one normally comes to this part of the castle, can't see why not."
Remus nodded agreement, noticing his surroundings for the first time. Tapestries and statues abounded, stunning even covered in a layer of dust. There was a clear view of the lake out the wide window, and sunlight shone in, illuminating the thousands of tiny floating dust particles, and making them seem- well, magical. Remus remembered she'd asked a question, and hurriedly answered "New rounds, for prefects in the afternoons."
She nodded, saying "Oh. I come down here to think, and to get away from it all. You know, at home it's always so quiet, just me and Da, and at Hogwarts there's so many people- sometimes it's nice to just be alone." She seemed embarrassed to have said that much, and ducked her head.
Mistaking that for a dismissal, Remus said, flushing embarrassedly, "Well, I'd better leave you to it-to be alone-"
"No, you can stay. That is, if you want to." said Mary, blushing slightly. Remus couldn't help but notice that she looked very, very pretty, with the sun shining on her golden-brown hair, tumbling almost to her elbows, her flushed cheeks, her sweet but nervous smile, and her warm hazel eyes.
"Oh. All right, then." he said rather awkwardly. They stood there, looking out the window at the lake, when Remus felt the need to tell her something.
"I know how you feel." he said, turning to look at her "About the quiet? It's just me and my mum at home, and we don't live near anyone, and here it's so different. Everyone is always talking and moving and doing, and sometimes it's nice just to think quietly, and be at peace."
She nodded, and turned to look at Remus, but he was gazing out over the lake again, his eyes far away, and he said "But sometimes it gets lonely."
Mary seemed to understand, and she said "Maybe we don't have to be alone." She bit her lip, not quite knowing what she meant by that, but when he turned to look back at her, he didn't look judgmental, and she continued "Maybe being at peace, finding that quiet, being safe in our own little worlds… Maybe we don't have to do it all by ourselves."
Remus' eyes seemed to fill, but then she blinked and the tears were gone, and she thought maybe it was a trick of the light, even if his eyes did look achingly sad. "Yeah." he said quietly, almost to himself. "Maybe…"
And so they stood there for a while, almost touching but not quite, gazing out over the lake in the afternoon sunlight, each completely at peace, completely quiet, altogether lost in their own little worlds. But they weren't alone. They were together. And that was enough.
~end~
A/N Hello! Welcome to Forgetfulness (Which by the way is open for suggestions for a better title). Just so you know, my Mary is a blood-traitor- Her Dad followed his arranged marriage originally, but then Mary was born and his wife died, then he remarried a muggle (Who was killed by the Death Eaters a few years ago.) So yeah. This does end up being canon-compliant, and I hope you like it! I'd love to hear your thoughts, constructive crit is always appreciated. A HUGE shoutout to MarauderLover009, without me bouncing ideas off of them, this story wouldn't be up. If you like Marauder-era, read her stuff it's great. That's all, please enjoy!
Love, Leviosa