Hello everyone. Five chapter story here, very short ones. I think you'll find it VERY funny, as I had a great time writing it with the occasional chuckle. This is an easy read, and an idea that I've had for quite some time. The concept of humorous betrayal and irony.
If you don't know Metal Gear, I think you'll understand this just fine anyway
Enjoy! Thank you for reading! Please comment. Not necessarily in that order. :)
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Operation: Snake Eater ################### ################ #################
Time: ###### ###### #####
Location:######, ######, ####
Operative: Naked Snake ####### #######
CHAPTER 1: Biome Demise
Snake trudged through the thick mud and mush and water of the swamp. He was sure that squirrel went somewhere over here. It would be his dinner, after all he was losing stamina like a video game character. Russia. Swamps. Temperate Rainforest. Mountains. Caves.
For Snake, this wasn't his first pick of vacation spots. Snake hated this place. He frowned. Of course, he had already been frowning at the time, but somehow found a way to frown more. It reminded him of what mothers told their kids about making faces and it would be there forever. Snake found that as the actual truth a long time ago. He simply kept frowning. Para-Medic frequently reminded him to save her a packet of instant noodles and to keep changing camoflague.
Frankly, Snake was tired of changing camoflague.
Sigint hadn't called him since he first talked to him. He was probably was more worried that Snake himself would break his electronic toys during use, rather than teach him to use it.
But what made Snake cringe half of the time was that Major Zero wouldn't shut up. He kept phoning him unprofessionally to talk about James Bond. Snake had told him why he named himself 'Zero', but he couldn't remember why. Probably because he sounded like he should have been in James Bond.
/BleooopBleooop/ /BleooopBleooop/
"Snake? Are you there?" Major Zero asked, starting to panic.
Snake sighed, "Yes… Major…" he heard a gigantic sigh of relief.
"Ah, Snake, I was afraid that we had lost you!"
"Sir, I think you're forgetting that this is a stealth mission, not a worried-sick mother calling at her child's sleepover."
"Is that what you think of me?" The Major thought for a second, "A mother? I'm touched, Snake!"
"Sir, I'm alright!" He said with obvious annoyance. Snake kept moving through the mud pools, simply responding with automated answers like a phone call machine. The Major, sensing Snake's harsh tone, simply kept talking.
"If you're speaking in THAT tone, then I must remind you, soldier, that if we lose you, the world would be in peril, the Russians have an American black-ops agent's body, and I'll have a headache from paperwork!" The Major hung up. It wouldn't be long until he called back again. He wasn't sure if he could take another radio call. He gritted his teeth.
In mid-cringe, a crocodile slid from the vines and slithered into the thick monstrocity of slime-water. Snake grunted in an 'uh oh' sort of way. The slippery threat moved toward him with impeccable speed. He needed to run, and fast. Snake was already waist deep in the mud now. The path to drier lands was just ahead of him. Just… A Little… Farther…
It was then that another croc made a grand appearance on the path ahead of him. He stopped swimming, and was looking for another way out. The first croc was now at his heels. The second approaching in the way of his only exit. He could just see the yellowed teeth of his doom. He held his knife in hand; a desperate solution.
It was then, when he stood still, that he began to sink. Teeth and Sand.