Richard awoke to the coldness of the night; the moon brightly shining down on him as he sat forward. It was quiet around him, too quiet compared to how it had been just before he fell asleep. Looking around, he found her sitting beside the dying fire, quietly laying another log in the flames. She looked beautiful in the firelight, she always did, but tonight she wore a smile that he hasn't seem in so long.
"You're supposed to be sleeping."
Grinning over at him, Kahlan shook her head. "I can't."
Moving toward her, he smiled. "It must feel good, having her back again."
"I'm not sure I can explain how it feels."
"You're smiling," he said with one of his own. "That says something."
Meeting his eyes, she nodded. "My sister's alive. I- She's more than that, Richard. She has a child and a chance to be happy..."
"You'll have that too, Kahlan."
The smile left her face almost instantly and she looked away. "Maybe."
"You will. I promise."
"You can't promise something like that."
"Kahlan-"
"Somethings aren't made for everyone."
"You were made to be a mother, Kahlan."
Forcing a small smile, she shrugged. "Maybe."
"Maybe?" he chuckled. "I don't think you realize just how motherly you are."
"I am not," she countered softly.
Nudging his shoulder against hers, he tried to keep quiet. "You care about everyone and you know just what to do to make others to get along. Then, you have the face... The one my mother used to give me when I did something foolish. You're not angry, just disappointed."
"I do not make that fa-"
Laughing, he nodded quickly. "Yes you, do."
She grinned, holding back a soft laugh. "I used to wonder what it would be like, being a mother."
"Used to?"
"I started to think raising Dennee was as close as I would get."
"Why?"
She frowned for a moment, shaking her head as she watched his hands rub together above the fire. "I never thought I would live long enough to take a mate."
The last word made him sick, but he pushed it down, not wanting to bring it up, not now. "I'll make sure you live, Kahlan. You'll be a mother."
"I'm not sure I want to."
Confused, he turned to face her completely, fighting the urge to touch her. "Why not?"
Keeping her eyes on the fire, she shook her head. "I don't want my children to have a father like mine."
"Kahlan-"
"There were days when I thought he was going to kill us."
"He didn't."
"No, sometimes I think it would have been too kind of him." Bringing her eyes back to him, she shrugged. "I don't want my children to experience anything like that."
"They won't."
"How can you be sure?" she asked through a heavy whisper. "No man would be overjoyed when he's released and has Confessor children at his mercy."
"I would." It was a simple answer, one he said without hesitation and regret. "I know that you would never take me, but I will think of your children as mine and if the time came and they needed protection, I would be there for them."
"Why?"
He grinned, reached for her hand, pulling to him. "Because I love you and... I'll be there for you and your many, many children."
"I would never ask you to do that, Richard."
"You wouldn't have to."
Surprising him, she leapt forward and claimed his lips. He kissed back just as forcefully, pulling her to the ground. Within moments he was laying above her, rocking his hips against hers as she yanked him closer. His hands roamed her body, unable to settle as his need grew stronger. He usually did his best to avoid certain areas of her body, not wanting her to pull away and end the joyful moment. This time was unlike the others, his hands instantly finding her breasts and squeezing, earning a hot moan that made him weaken.
Her kiss intensified at his touch, both taking full advantage of the moment. He settled perfectly between her legs, a soft growl escaping him as she hooked them around him. Suddenly, he knew what he could do.
Pulling back, he nudged his nose against her chin and waited for her eyes to open. When she looked at him, he grinned, his own thoughts reeling within him. "I can give you a child, Kahlan."
"Richard..."
"Right now, I can give this to you and you don't have to worry about how her life will be ever again. You can have a family, right now."
"I can't hurt you."
"I promise you that you won't."
Grabbing his face, she shook her head. "How?"
Reaching between them, he began pulling at the laces of his pants, watching her carefully to make sure she was on board with his plan. "Don't stop kissing me."
When their lips collided again, she felt his hand between them, moving over himself to the same rhythm of their kiss. It wasn't long before she realized what he was doing and moved to help, when her hand touched him, he nearly woke the forest with the moan that lost itself in her mouth. Rocking into her hand, he began lifting her dress, his fingers disappearing. Breaking their kiss, she pleasured him with a gasp of bliss. Her hand tightened on him, he pulled it away and growled.
"If you do that again, I will be of no help to you." She began to speak, but found words failing to stick to her tongue as his breath warmed her neck. "Are you sure this is alright?"
Nodding her head slowly, she stared into his steady eyes. "I trust you."
Kissing her, he nudged himself against her, preparing her for what was to come. Focusing on her, he listened to her breathing, the feel of her heart pounding and her hold on his shoulders. If he hurt her, she would tell him. Pushing forward again, he slipped an inch into her warmth, her fingers now digging into his skin. Richard paused instantly, trying to keep control of himself.
Her hold loosened, her body relaxing to the invasion he provided, giving him the permission he needed to push forward again. This time she urged him on, pushing her hips upward when he leaned forward, turning his next inch into many. Shoving his face in the crook of her neck, he muffled his moan, mixing it with the gasped cry she released. He was frozen within her, his body on the verge of release while the urge to do much more filled him completely. Her heart was pounding, threatening to break free of her chest and push through his.
"Richard..." she panted, her body screaming for more.
With a loud moan, he lifted his head and reconnected their lips. She pushed against him and it was over. With a muffled roar that should have woke the world, he exploded into her.
She clung to him, holding his chest to hers as his body gave off a series of spasms. Closing her eyes, she tried to steady her own breathing, praying that one day she would be able to experience something like he just had. She shook for control, fighting the magic and desires of her body.
Lifting his head, he looked down at her in concern, his body feeling hers tighten and quake beneath him. "Are you cold?"
Kahlan nearly laughed. She figured that she should be, the bottom of her dress was bunched up around her waist, the top was pushed off her shoulders and she was covered in a pleasant sweat, but the cool wind that blew past only aided her pleasure. "No..."
When she at last opened her eyes, he grinned. "Hi."
Smiling, she touched the palms of her hands to his cheeks and brought his lips to hers. Her hips rolled against his as they kissed, both releasing a low moan. His hands instantly moved to hold her still, seeing the magic in her eyes. Pushing down harder against her, he tried to give her a small amount of what she needed.
Rolling them onto their sides, he kept her flush against him, afraid that the instant they separated, he would die. "Kahlan... Spirits..."
She pulled back in fear, the sound of his voice making her eyes snap open. "Did I do something wrong?" she asked through a whisper.
"No."
"Then why are you looking at me like that?"
"Because I just... Kahlan, you're- Your first time with someone shouldn't have been that way."
She chuckled in spite of herself, a part of her relieved by his words. "Richard, what we just did... What you gave me, it's more than what I would have received from my mate and - The fact that you said something, that you cared, proves how much more you gave me."
Leaning forward, he pushed closer to her warmth. "I wish I could have given you something more."
"You don't realize how much you've already-"
"Can I ask a favor of you?"
"Anything."
"Allow me to help you name her."
She smiled, nodding slowly. "Of course."
It had been raining for hours as they traveled through the mud. It was dark and difficult to see through the down pour, but they continued on in the hopes of it dying down. When it became clear that it would only get worse, Kahlan turned to the Seeker. His eyes remained ahead of them, his mind lost in thought and she almost hated to interrupt.
"We should get out of the rain. There's an inn in the next town that will give us a place to stay the night."
His eyes met hers, hungry for something they couldn't have, desperate to repeat what they had done two nights before. "How far?"
Shaking her head, she looked over her right shoulder at their friends. "Half an hour, maybe. If Zedd moves a little faster."
The wizard had slowed significantly as the day went on, his robes becoming soaked and heavy on his slender frame.
Richard grinned, taking her hand as he shouted over his shoulder, "There's a place with food up ahead, if we hurry, we can get there before it-"
"Food?!" the older man asked excitedly. "Why have you slowed down?!"
Kahlan jumped at the knock on her door, surprised it had awoken her.
"Kahlan, it's me," he said, answering her unspoken question.
Stepping out of her bathtub, she wrapped herself in a towel and rushed to the door, opening it without caution and allowing him to enter at once. "Is something wrong?"
"No," he answered quickly. "I was sitting in my room, thinking... I didn't like being so far away from you."
Smiling, she walked toward him. "Your room is next to mine."
His eyes moved over her, taking in the beautiful sight of her damp skin and soaked hair. "Not close enough. You were in the bath?"
Nodding, the Mother Confessor grinned. "I'd forgotten how good it felt to have such a luxury."
He looked to the tub and chuckled. "I didn't get one of those:"
"I'm finished, if you want to use it. I can send for fresh water."
"No, I think I can manage without a-"
"The water is still warm."
Tilting his head, he stared at her with a half grin. "There's no use in saying no, is there?"
"Not if you value your life."
"Will you stay?"
"I can't leave wearing this."
"You can do anything you want to."
She grinned, "Not everything. I'm going to try to sleep. It's been some time since I've slept in a bed. There's an extra towel beside the wash station, enjoy your bath."
Before he could say anything, Kahlan was crawling beneath the blankets of her bed, pulling them tightly around her.
He wasn't in the water very long, his body sensing hers close by and demanding its presence. Drying himself off, he made his way to her bed and laid down at her side. When his head hit the extra pillow, she rolled over and snuggled closer. He cursed the towel that kept him from touching her.
"You don't smell like the trees anymore."
"Is that a bad thing?"
Lifting her head, she shrugged. "You don't smell like you."
"Want me to go outside and roll around in the dirt and fallen leaves?"
Grinning, Kahlan held back a laugh. "No, but you can before we leave in the morning."
Lifting her leg over his, she brought herself closer and stopped suddenly. "You're naked."
"I didn't want to get my clothes wet." Brushing three of his fingers through her damp hair, he smiled. "I could put them on if it would make you feel more comfortable."
"No, I- I just don't know how safe it is for you..."
With a soft chuckle, be flipped their positions, pushing his chest against hers. "Why, Mother Confessor, are you saying-"
"Yes," she replied instantly, interrupting his words.
Within a few seconds, she had her lips on his. She knew he would return the kiss, she was counting on it. Her mind had been filled with the memory of what they had previously done and she needed more. Running her hands down his back, she yanked him to her, trying to melt him into her. His lips traveled down her neck and chest, his tongue sliding beneath the towel that hid her from him. Grabbing her breast, he pulled at the towel.
Throwing the cloth from the bed, Richard looked down at her. He had seen her naked twice before, but never like this. This wasn't an accident or someone else mirroring her image, this was her, this was meant for him. Staring down at her, he smiled widely, anxious to explore completely. She looked up at him with just as much anticipation, awaiting the pleasures he would be providing next.
They were kissing each other as the sweat began to pour off them, his fingertips rolling her nipples to a place beyond sensation, while her hands slid along his back. Pushing down against her, he tried to give her what she needed, but every few moments she would push him back, doing her best to protect him from her magic. Bringing her hands to his hair, she pulled at the thick, brown locks. As their kiss began to heat someone knocked at the door.
Richard's body nearly flew off of hers as they looked to the door. Meeting her eyes, he smiled. "Pretend to be asleep." Her eyebrows shifted in confusion, forcing him to kiss her briefly. "Trust me."
After her nod, he crawled off of the bed and pulled on his clothes in lightning speed. Opening the door, he looked over his shoulder in fake concern. "Richard? Why are you-"
"Kahlan wasn't feeling well. I wanted to make sure she was alright before I went to sleep."
The wizard studied the younger man, looking over his shoulder to make sure he was telling the truth. "How is she?"
"Better, I think." Stepping out of the room, the Seeker closed the door quietly. "She fell asleep a few minutes ago."
"And you stayed?"
"I had to make sure she was alright. I wasn't going to leave without being-"
"Of course not," the older man agreed softly.
"Why are you here?"
Following his grandson down the hallway, he sighed. "I wanted to speak with Kahlan about her decision to keep Dennee away from Aydindril."
"Isn't she safer if no one else knows she's alive?"
"Yes, but the people need a Confessor."
"Kahlan- She would not have made the decision lightly. She wants to protect her sister, her family. We should help her, not try to change her mind."
"Perhaps, you're right."
He returned to her room the instant he was able, excited to lay beside her once more. When he entered the door, he pulled his shirt over his head and hurried to the bed. She was laying in the center, blankets covering her completely. Climbing beneath the warmth, he inched closer to her, surprised as she turned her head, eyes wide open.
"I wasn't sure you were coming back."
"I couldn't stay away. Especially after..." His words trailed off as she rolled over and pushed against him. She was still naked. "Spirits, Kahlan."
Hooking an arm around his neck, she drew him down for a kiss, wrapped her entire body around him and opened herself completely to him. His manhood throbbed in his pants, sending shocks of pain and pleasure zipping to every inch of his body. Her channel flooded in anticipation of him sliding in, stretching her, filling her.
"Richard," she moaned into his mouth, reaching between their bodies to untie his pants. Shoving her hand inside the fabric, she wrapped her fingers around his length, telling him what she wanted. "Richard, please..," she panted, winding her fingers in his hair. "I want you."
Looking into her heavenly dark eyes, he growled. "Kahlan... The minute I'm inside you... I may not last another moment."
"You've been harboring inappropriate thoughts, too?" she teased through a moan, needing to focus on anything else to keep from losing control.
"Always."
Doing as he was guided, he pushed into her, moaning loudly as her walls locked around him. It had to be as before, he couldn't take her with him, no matter how much they both wished they could. Grabbing his shoulders, she held his chest against hers, needing the contact as his hips thrust into hers. His kiss became slow and sloppy, his body hanging on by a breaking thread. Turning her head, she pulled his hair and gasped, his name leaving her lips in just the right way to make him lose it all.
Collapsing on her chest, Richard sucked in a heavy breath, his hands still gliding over her flawless form. Lifting his head, he nudged his nose against her chin, grasping her attention before capturing her lips.
"We're in real trouble, aren't we?" he whispered against her lips.
"Looks that way."
"Does it scare you?"
"Terrified is a better word to describe what I'm feeling right now."
He frowned, seeing it all in her eyes. "That bad?"
"You have no idea."
Rolling onto his side, he held her against his firm body, unable to allow her to be any further away. He knew what their actions could lead to, a part of him glad to have it happen, but he hated what, he was sure, it was doing to her. She clung to him the way he always wanted, tender and free. She was going against what she had been taught, just by touching him, loving him. By allowing him the chance to give her a daughter, she was taking a more than a risk.
"Candace," he whispered after a few moments of silence.
Pulling her head back, she chuckled. "Candace?"
"I didn't think naming her Richard was an option."
Her smile spread across her face, her eyes meeting his with a raised eyebrow. "It's not. She's going to have enough trouble growing up as a Confessor, we shouldn't make it any harder on her by giving her a man's name."
"Who would suspect it?" he teased with a quiet laugh.
"She could take over the world before anyone is the wiser..."
Shaking his head, he played along. "No, she wouldn't want it. She'll be like you, comfortable off somewhere in the woods helping those around her, while one of her sisters rolled her eyes at Palace Carpenter, who just can't get her to agree that bigger is not always better."
"There is no such thing as Palace Carpenter," she countered with a grin.
"No? Then, let's name another one, just for this conversation, Lilly. She'll create the position to help make room for all of the townspeople who need a place to stay after some battle tore down their homes."
"Battle?"
"Oh, yes. You see, when Lilly turned twenty, an old enemy came out of hiding, threatening to kill us all, but she stood strong and gathered her forces, destroying all that stood in the way of her people's safety and happiness."
"And through all this, her sister, Richard-"
"Tended to the wounded outside of the resistance camps."
"Of course," she said laughing. "And while this is going on, what am I doing?"
He lost eye contact for a moment, thinking about her question. "You're floating in a lake somewhere, with me."
"I'm swimming while my children are fighting a battle?"
"Our children," he corrected proudly. "And you know how stubborn they are. We taught them well, there was no need to worry and they wouldn't have it any other way."
Rolling out of his embrace, she stared up at the wooden ceiling. "We shouldn't be doing this."
"Imagining our daughter with a man's name? You're right, that is cruel."
Turning her head, she smiled at him, unable to do anything else once she saw his face, but it faded quickly. "It's more than cruel, but not just for her."
"I'm sorry, Kahlan."
Closing her eyes, she turned her head toward the door, waiting a moment before picturing him walking through it, leaving her alone. "We never talked about what happens if I do conceive a child."
With a sigh, Richard sat up and began retying his pants. "No, but I think you already have everything planned." Standing up, he walked around the bed, moving to the chair that sat beside the door. Grabbing his shirt off of the seat, he began to pull it over his head, stopping to look over his shoulder at her. "The minute I fell asleep the other night, you worked this all out. Didn't you? You thought of what you would tell people, what you would tell Zedd and then you started to think about me."
Kahlan sat forward, holding one of the blankets against her chest. "I've only thought about you."
Throwing his shirt to the ground, he turned around. "Have you?"
"How could I not? You're not my mate, Richard. I would never treat you as though you were."
Sitting down in the chair, the Seeker pushed his fingers through his hair and straightened his back. "I'm sorry." She said nothing, sitting in silence as he watched her stare down at the blankets. "What did you think of that night?"
"Impossible things," she admitted through a whisper.
"A life with me?"
"A family," she replied shamefully, lifting her eyes to his. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about- Probably the same things I see in your eyes right now. A normal life together, somewhere far away from all of this. Waking up in the morning, going to the market, our children running through the fields to keep from being caught for some kind of trouble they've got themselves into. Did you think I never thought about it? To wake up and not be terrified that I will lose control and destroy-"
"Kahlan-"
"And destroy the only person I've been close to." Swallowing the hard lump in her throat, Kahlan laid down and rolled away from him, staring into the darkness of the room. "You should go back to your room. Zedd may come looking for you."
She heard him stand, a sound more painful than she thought it would be, but as his footsteps drew closer, the agony faded. Walking around the bed, he stood in front of her and slowly, carefully, eased onto the bed, scooping her into his arms.
"The only person you've ever been close to?" he questioned. "No one has ever held you like this?" He meant to lighten the mood, but instead of bringing a smile to her lips, she shook her head.
"No, but that's not what I meant." Touching her hand to his, still bare, chest, she watched her fingers trace the Keeper's Mark through the moonlight. "Other than my sister and a few- two other Confessors, you're the only friend I have ever had. And even though you're not confessed, I trust you as though you were, maybe even more." He knew what she meant, having her naked in his arms, her personal thoughts on her lips, her eyes on his, they all were meant for someone more than a stranger who was confessed.
"Everything I grew up with doesn't mean anything with you. Men have always rushed away, hurried out of my line of sight, but you never did. Even after you learned what I was, you were there, looking me in the eyes as you stood an inch away from me... The day we met, you didn't know what I was and yet you saved me. I looked into your eyes and I..." She paused, seeming to gather her thoughts as her right palm flattened against his chest.
"I think about that day all of the time. I used to tell myself that it was because you grew up not knowing what I was and what I could do to you. You weren't taught to be afraid of me. You weren't confessed, but you were willing to risk your life for me. Not because my magic forced you to care, but because you saw that I was in danger and you 'wanted' to protect me." Looking up from his chest, she stared into his eyes, fading away in the softness of his gaze. "You're the only person I've ever wanted to be close to."
"Kahlan, I-"
She rolled onto her back, holding his arm against her stomach. "You don't have to say anything, Richard."
Bringing himself closer, he warmed her neck with his breath. "Yes, I do. Kahlan, you just shared a piece of yourself with me, a part that you've never given to anyone." Meeting her eyes, he smiled for a moment. "I should say something, but I'm afraid that everything I can think of seems- That day we met, when I looked into your eyes, with your blade against my throat, I wasn't afraid of you. I saw something more and I think it took me longer than it should have to understand. Kahlan, you are nothing like other women and not because of your magic. I am willing to bet that it only aids what drives you."
"What?"
"Your heart."
She gave him a small smile, her hand tightening her hold on his arm. "Thank you."
"I'm sorry about before. I know you better than to suggest that you gave no thought of me. I'm sorry."
"It's alright."
Shaking his head, he kissed her chin. "No, it's not. Kahlan I should- I never should have said what I did. I know you would never treat me like someone you've confessed, but I-"
"You're afraid that the man I end up with will be-"
"I don't want you with anyone else."
"I'm with you, now."
Laying his head on her chest, he tightened his hold on her. "It's not enough."
Running her fingers through his hair, she tried to calm her pounding heart. "I know."
Lifting his head, he shifted his body so that he was laying completely on top of her. "I want to be yours, Kahlan."
"I can't take you."
"I'll find a way to be with you. I will be yours and you'll be mine. We'll have that family, together."
"We can't name our daughter, Richard."
Grinning, he tilted his head. "We'll discuss this again."
"The answer will never change," she chuckled. "Lilly, though, I like that one."
"Me too."
"Stay with me tonight."
He smiled widely, kissing her quickly. "On one condition."
"What?" she asked in confusion, her forehead creasing.
"You have to put your clothes back on." She frowned, a reaction he cherished as he kissed her again. "We both know that Zedd will come in first thing in the morning and if he sees us like this or how I want us to be... If you're dressed-"
"It will be easier to tell him I became sick again and you had to comfort me."
"Yes."
Shifting beneath him, she pulled him down to her, leaving no space between their bodies and kissed him. "My clothes can wait another few minutes..."
******THE END******
