Disclaimer: I don't own Kim Possible and the premise behind this piece belongs to Ffordesoon.
Symbolism
Part One: The Coupon
The house was utterly silent, save for the faint ticking of a clock in the living room and the soft hum of the air conditioning system. The sole occupant of the house was sitting at the dining room table and staring blankly at a little white slip of paper with all too familiar handwriting on it, her mind completely devoid of coherent thought. Actually, it was devoid of anything. Shego, the former villainess, sharp tongued and quick witted even after her return to the side of good, had absolutely nothing to say or think about that little slip of paper. Maybe it was the long day of paperwork and a tedious- not to mention boring- annual Global Justice Fundraising Function that had robbed her of the ability to make sense of the thing but maybe it was just how... strange it was.
After an eternity- realistically about twenty minutes- of staring at the little paper, Shego dug into the pocket of her jacket, completely forgetting her desire to rid herself of the stuffy formal attire, and pulled free her cell phone, hitting the speed dial automatically. There was only one person in the world she willingly called at the drop of a hat like this.
"Gah! Hello?" the familiar voice of Kim Possible, world renowned heroine, grunted after the second ring.
"Kimmie?" Shego's brows furrowed, temporarily distracted from the paper on the table. She hadn't seen the redhead since a call from the techno guru Wade had called her away to save someone or other. That the stupid fundraising function might have been at least somewhat bearable if Kim hadn't left midway through briefly flitted through the woman's mind. Kim hadn't been exactly engaging company when she was there but the former villainess was always at ease when the redhead was by her side. "Where are you?"
"Oh, uh, just climbing a mountain! No big!" Kim replied, though her voice seemed forced.
"I thought you went to save a bunch of dignitaries from a wrecked boat?"
"Huh? Um, nope, they're, uh, trapped in a cave. In a mountain." Suddenly, no grunting. And no wind, though that could be explained away if Kim was wearing a helmet. "So, what's up?"
Shego actually pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at it. Any time Kim forced a casual comment like she just did, she was lying about something. Or hiding something. Shego sighed; might as well get to the bottom of things. "I... found a note on the table."
"Oh." A deliberate pause and Shego could just picture her Princess biting her lip. She was definitely hiding something. "It's a, uh, coupon."
"A coupon?" Shego blinked, then read the little slip of paper again. Unsurprisingly, it made about as much sense as the first time she read it. "Kimmie-"
"It'sforyounoexpirationgottagobye!" The call disconnected abruptly, leaving the green skinned woman exactly where she began: silent and confused.
Shego sat with her cell phone in one hand and the "coupon" in the other trying to make sense of things. She would've chalked it up to a bad prank from either Kim's troublesome twin brothers, her own twin brothers, or Wade himself, if she hadn't personally vowed to torch each one of them if they pulled anything like their last stunt. This definitely went past the line of "all in good fun". Besides that, Kim apparently was aware of the "coupon" and what it said. It was in her handwriting.
But why?
"Anal sex, anytime, anywhere," Shego read aloud, hoping the words would make more sense if they were spoken to the empty house. Who knows; maybe a fairy grandmother would pop out of nowhere to conveniently explain the whole sitch to her.
Nothing happened. It still didn't make sense. If anything, hearing the words drifting through the house made them even more ridiculous.
For one thing, her Kimmie was not kinky. At all. The girl still blushed when the two of them kissed on occasion and every time that involved tongue. Not to say the redhead wasn't passionate- far from it- but it wasn't in Kim's nature to suggest they try something different in the intimate portion of their relationship. That was Shego's job; she found something she wanted to try and talked her girlfriend into it. It didn't always require a lot of persuading, since Kim trusted her, but there would be compromise, and communication, and evaluation after the fact. Some things were one time only and others Kim really liked, though she blushed when admitting them. None ever involved her rear entrance though; the closest Shego came to ass play was a few well timed spankings and constant appraisal of the redhead's figure. It was uncharted territory, yes, but left field, farleft field. So why anal?
Her Kimmie was also... predictable. At least when it came to timing. She didn't like having sex in the morning; only at night. There were rare occasions when Shego would wake up horny and Kim could be coaxed into participating in some morning nookie, but they were few and far between. Shego always chalked it up to her girlfriend being barely twenty; waking up early for physical activity isn't as appealing as falling asleep after an orgasm, especially with college classes starting at six. Limited sleep, Kim could do, but waking the redhead up before a certain time was inviting trouble and allits friends. So "anytime"? Not likely.
And then, of course, was the most puzzling of all. "Anywhere". No. Full Stop. Her Kimmie could be talked into just about anything- if Shego wanted it bad enough- but this was non-negotiable. The conversation had happened multiple times over the course of their relationship. At first, Kim was hesitant about kissing Shego in public, still coming to terms with the fact she was with another woman and her arch nemesis to boot. Admittedly, it took some adjustment on the part of both parties; Shego wasn't used to walking in public at the time, so the nervousness was on both ends, though for different reasons. That hurdle they jumped together though, to the point where Kim wouldn't stop an impromptu make-out session, though she would blush profusely if interrupted. But that was as far as things went. Shego couldn't even cop a feel on her beautiful girlfriend without spending at least three nights on the couch. And the one time she brought up the idea of having sex beneath the stars, somewhere isolated and secluded, with Wade blocking every satellite and the National Guard enforcing a perimeter? A month, solid. Sex anywhere but the bedroom was a flat out no.
So this "coupon" had to be a joke or something.
But then there was the phone call. Kim genuinely sounded like something was off, which would make sense if the "coupon" was the real deal. But whywould Kim do something like this? It wasn't their-
Shego checked her phone's calendar.
Yup, definitely not their anniversary. Not Kim's birthday; far from Shego's. Not Christmas, April Fool's, Kwanza, Passover, Halloween, a bank holiday- nothing!
It was just... there. Sitting on the table. A coupon for anal sex, anytime, anywhere. From Kimmie. From her Princess, who wasn't kinky, rarely had sex in the morning, and hated the idea of any sort of exhibition.
"I need a drink," Shego mumbled, loosening the stupid bowtie she'd meant to tear off the moment she got to the master bedroom. She shrugged off the jacket and threw it back at the dining room table, heading straight for the cabinet where she kept her favored Whiskey. Her hands were on the knobs when, out of the corner of her eye, something caught her attention. A bottle of rose wine, the only kind Shego had ever gotten Kimmie to try. The redhead loved it and a bottle was always kept around the house.
Their house. Their home.
Shego remembered it vividly when Kim expressed her displeasure with coming home to a very drunk girlfriend. She only drank on the nights Kim had unexpected missions, thus preventing the woman from unwinding in her favored way, namely cuddling with her girlfriend on the couch and watching television. Shego wasn't about to give up drinking though, especially seeing as the missions weren't going to stop anytime soon. They found a comfortable compromise: Shego switched to wine- which she could only stand in moderation anyway-, kept her Whiskey for the really hard days, and Kim would join her with a glass whenever she got home.
Wine, even a single glass, made the redhead farmore affectionate so it worked out for both of them. That's how their relationship was built. Communication- a skill which took nearly half a year to develop- and understanding, giving and taking, working together, and sure there were fights and arguments and sometimes compromises couldn't be found, but they tried. And if there was something one didn't like- Kim's mission load for one and Shego's tendency to throw plasma blasts at the nosy neighbors for another- the other learned to accept it. Slowly, they went from two distinct women, two forces of nature, to two sides of the same coin, yin and yang, united.
United. It was the theme for their home. Touches of both of them sprinkled throughout the house. Part of one and part of the other.
Sometimes, when Kim's missions ran late- like the one she was supposedly on- Shego would sit and just stare at that bottle of rose wine for a bit, look around at the home they'd decorated together, and wonder. What would happen if Kimmie never came back from one of her missions? Shego often liked to think that she'd be able to move on- Pumpkin wouldn't want her to wallow in sorrow forever- but lately, those thoughts had changed, slightly. It was a relief to see the redhead each and every day, to be beside her, to have and hold her. It was bliss and it was getting harder to imagine life without her former enemy.
She'd come to terms with it long ago but every now and then it would punch her in the face as a reminder: Shego loved Kim dearly. More than words could say, more than she'd ever be able to express.
With a heavy sigh, Shego shook her head. "I'm starting to sound like one of those soap opera weddings..."
Snatching up the bottle of wine, Shego started to pour the pink liquid into a glass from another cabinet, leaving her Whiskey untouched. As the smell of grapes and alcohol began to waft up from the glass and bottle, one word started ringing in her head: weddings.
That was Shego's taboo subject: getting married. As a young, super powered girl coping with four insane brothers, Shego had completely sworn off the girlish dream of finding a husband. Hell no was she getting herself into thatmess! Perhaps it played a role in her sexuality; perhaps it didn't. One thing was for sure: it wasn't going to happen. Not ever. The one time Kim brought it up it was the redhead sleeping on the couch for the better part of a week. Just like the exhibition topic, the marriage topic had never been touched again.
Shego set the bottle down on the counter and watched the liquid still within the glass, replacing the stopper mechanically, never taking her eyes from the glass. When she finally did look away, it was to the clock on the stove. Well into the early morning, Shego frowned as she realized Kim was actively avoiding returning home. Made sense; Kim was obviously nervous and... and probably scared. She probably made up that mission excuse so she wouldn't have to answer the questions swirling in her girlfriend's mind. But surely Kimmie would come home sometime, right?
She would, Shego was almost certain of it. No, she wascertain of it. Kimmie wouldn't go through planning a fake mission and enlisting her nerdlinger friend- and probably wasting a favor- all just to leave Shego hanging with a "coupon". That didn't mean the damned thing made any more sense than it had when she first saw it. Picking up the glass of wine, Shego walked back into the dining room and sat down, picking up the "coupon" once again.
"Anal sex, anytime, anywhere," she whispered before taking a sip of the wine. It almost sounded like a demand. Especially if it worked like a conventional coupon; Kimmie actually expected her to whip out the paper and, boom, it would be done? That wasn't how it worked; that wasn't how theyworked. There was no communication, no compromise. The "coupon" just popped out of nowhere...
... but Kimmie was expecting her to use it, wasn't she? Why? Why would Kim be so specific? Something they'd never really talked about, something that took coercing to begin with, and something that Kim outright refused in the past, all on something as materially insignificant as a piece of paper!
Shego took another sip of the wine and unbuttoned the top three of her dress shirt, exposing the pale green of her chest. If Kimmie were there, she'd be trying her hardest to pretend that she wasn't sneaking glances. A smile came to Shego's lips then. Whenever she caught Kim trying not to get caught, she'd call the redhead out and watch her blush furiously while mumbling some compliment or other. It never felt fake or insincere or lust-driven; her Princess was honestly attracted to her, physically and emotionally.
They loved each other. About the only way it could be any more obvious would be to break down and propose, show the world that they were together and would be forever with a little diamond ring. It would just be a material symbol for the rest of the world to clue in but it would say "Kimmie belongs to Shego and Shego belongs to Kimmie" in a nearly universal language.
But that's all that marriage would do. Proclaim it to the world; it wouldn't affect their relationship in any way. Wearing a band on her finger to somehow signify that she loved Kimmie any more than she had before made about as much sense as... as much sense as...
"Oh, fuck," Shego moved the glass of wine away and slowly lowered her head to the table, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths. She wasn't exactly angry, she was just...
Okay, fuck it, she was angry. Was that what all this nonsense was about? Kim was playing some sort of game, trying to coax Shego into marrying her? Or maybe she was reading too far into it; maybe Kim really was kinky- or had become that way- and wanted to expand her horizons. Either way, she could've just said that, and they could've talked it out like they did with everything else! Cutting out on a formal function, faking a mission, hanging up on her, leaving a stupid "coupon" on the dining room table; it was bullshit!
Wait a minute, she was getting ahead of herself. That phone call; that was off, no matter what. Kim was nervous and scaredwhen Shego brought up the little slip of paper. If Kimmie was trying to get something out of her girlfriend, she wouldn't have to be so skittish about it. They'd already had those sort of arguments before. Like the time-
Shego's head snapped up abruptly. She hadn't thought about it at the time- too wrapped up in the utter strangeness of it all- but now that she actually focused on it... Kim didn't end the call with "I love you, Shego". That was almost as much a trademark phrase from the redhead as "no big" and "sitch" and all that other teen lingo crap. What was that mess she'd mumbled right before the dial tone?
It's for you-
no expiration-
gotta go-
bye.
Yup, definitely no affectionate phrase within the rush. "It's for you"? Well, who else couldit be for? "No expiration"? So she could use it as many times as she wanted? "Gotta go- bye?" Even when the redhead was hanging over a shark tank, she had enough time to tack on "I love you, Shego". Nothing had ever stopped her before. Why now?
Kim needed to hear the words, for some reason. Something they'd learned in the early stages of their relationship was that, while they were beginning to get the hang of communication, they sometimes spoke different languages. For Shego: body language. When they were out, a possessive arm around Kim's shoulders or waist- that wouldn't grope anything, else it was the couch again- was Shego's statement. Not to the world, exactly, but to Kim: "I'm here, I'm yours, you're mine, I love you". And Kim learned to reply by leaning into her girlfriend's embrace, or turn her head to nuzzle the taller woman's neck: "I know, I'm yours, you're mine, I love you too".
Kim, on the other hand, wanted to hear the words. It made sense, after the redhead sat her down and they talked about it; you can't hold someone over a Kimmunicator. You can't touch someone halfway around the world. Though the redhead loved helping people, she missed Shego whenever she left; Shego missed Kim just as much. While Shego could simply lie in their bed, touch Kim's shirts, imagine holding her, Kim was typically otherwise engaged. So whenever she had a free minute, she called, to hear Shego's voice. Because that was the only comfort she could get, from a phone call while crammed into a transport carrier over the Amazon or a helicopter over the dunes of the Sahara. So she needed to hearthe words, not because she doubted Shego's affections, but because she enjoyed being assured of them, just as Shego enjoyed being assured.
They just had different languages to express their affections.
Kim hadn't said she loved Shego and she hadn't given time for any sort of statement from the woman before hanging up. This wasn't done to mess with Shego's head; she didn't need to hear the words to know how Kimmie felt. She didn't need to hear them, Kimmie did; Kim didn't need Shego's arms around her to know she loved her, Shegodid.
And if Kim had something she wanted to talk about or thought Shego might get upset over, rather than greet her girlfriend with "I love you, Shego" the moment she entered their home, she would simply drop her shit at the door, hop on the couch and snuggle up with her girlfriend, not a single word said. The converse was true; if Shego needed to talk to Kimmie about something or wanted to bring up something that might upset her Princess, she'd start off the conversation with "You know I love you, right?" rather than pulling the redhead into her embrace. Body language and verbal communication; two very different methods they somehow made to work together. Compromise. Unity.
Shego reached for the wine glass and took her third sip. That settled it; there was a meaning behind it, all of it. It was still communication, despite the message being confusing and abrupt. It was Kimmie trying to say something and doing the best she could. So what was Kimmie trying to say?
Picking up the "coupon", Shego reread it. She flipped it over, then back again. "No expiration". That's what Kimmie had said. Seeing as there was no "one time use only", Shego guessed that meant Kim anticipated it for multiple uses. The "coupon" would last forever.
Anal sex- uncharted territory as far as their sex life went. In a way- oh, that's it, anal sex pretty much equated the last vestiges of Kimmie's virginity. She was offering up everythingshe had. Anytime. Anywhere.
Anywhere. Kimmie hated the thought of it, but was apparently willing. Willing because she loved and trusted Shego. She knew it would make her girlfriend happy. So she would do something she probably wouldn't enjoy, something she'd protested in the past, possibly multiple times, and why?
Because she truly loved Shego. She would give everything- her body, her soul, her mind- no matter what her reservations about it because it was Shegoshe was giving it to. This wasn't a demand or a joke. This was Kimmie making a statement, the best she knew how.
"I'm here, I'm yours. Whenever, wherever. Because I love you, because you love me, I'm yours. Forever."
This "coupon" was her Princess proposing.
And, honestly, it did change things. Shego could feel the tears stinging at her eyes. It probably took Kim months to work up the courage to pull this off. She was nervous and scared and now, Shego got it. There was always the chance that she would take the little slip of paper at face value and then nothingwould change. Except problems would eventually arise. Kim was offering herself up to Shego, putting herself out on the line, and it might not pay off. It could take weeks or months for Shego to give an answer, and it might be "no". And Kim took that chance. Kim wanted to be with her forever and the proof was right in Shego's hands. Just something as materially insignificant as a scrap of paper...
... and it embodied a woman's heart and soul. In the palm of Shego's hand.
Stuffing the coupon into her pants pocket, Shego hastily buttoned up her shirt and then grabbed her phone, previously discarded on the table. Thankfully, she had very few contacts programmed in, so finding the number she was looking for took no time at all.
A yawn answered after the third ring, followed by a "-ello?"
"Terry, Shego; no time to talk, my house, now." The edge to her voice was well known around GJHQ and the response, amid the shuffling of fabric, proved it was just as effective off the clock as on.
"Be there in ten, Ma'am."
"Good. Thanks," Shego ended the call and grabbed her jacket, slipping it on while walking towards the front door. She made a quick stop by the lamp in the living room, moving aside a hidden panel and retrieving a single, unmarked duffle bag. Ensuring the contents matched her needs; Shego hefted it over her shoulder and left the house, locking the door behind her.
The house was utterly silent, save for the faint ticking of a clock in the living room and the soft hum of the air conditioning system. The dining room and kitchen lights were still on and the partially drank glass of wine sat, abandoned, on the dining room table. That was the state of things when Kim arrived home a few hours later.
To Be Concluded…
Author's Note: This was born from a mature challenge posted on the Haven by Ffordesoon. The premise was that Kim gives Shego a coupon for "one session of anal sex, anytime, anywhere". Now, I can't write smut. As in, I've tried and it just turns out… awkward, in my opinion. So, rather than go that route, this was created. Part two will be posted in a week.